


The Ensign and Captain Dimples

by Selmak



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, Alternate Universe - Babies, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dimples, F/M, Older Man/Younger Woman, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2019-10-13 03:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 154,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17480210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selmak/pseuds/Selmak
Summary: Looking back, Sylvia Tilly blamed everything on his dimples. To which, Christopher Pike's only response was to shrug his shoulders and smile. With dimples, naturally.





	1. Dimples

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I got Tilly right. Not sure if this is an one off or not. 1/21/2019 This appears to have gone over surprising well, so I guess we'll have more adventures with Pilly or Tike.

**_“You have really beautiful nail beds.”_ **

Sylvia Tilly mentally repeated that mantra over and over again, until she reached the safety of her quarters.  Yes, her special needs room, where there was no polyester and viscoelastic polyurethane foam in sight. Her safe sanctuary from the universe at large, especially  when she'd been too much of a Silly Tilly.

God, she knew she **_babbled_ , **but sometimes the verbal floodgate opens and she vomited words and thoughts at warp 9.9 **_and…_** hadn’t the grieving Stamets pretty much told her to put a lock on it?  But **_politely_**.

After he had called her **_incandescent_** , (and she was pretty sure he meant it in a good way, not a crack about her flaming red hair) all the while he wore the beatific face of a man who has lost everything and come to a hard-earned armistice.  

**_Nail beds._ **

**_She had commented on his nail beds!_ **

Then she had to reposition his pinkie (which was still a stupid word, and would be FOREVER AND EVER UNIVERSE without END, MIRROR or otherwise) and he had loudly “OWWW!”d.

And she had panicked, because Saru wore the face of a Displeased Dad, and the rest of the bridge team had THAT look on their face, that meant she was being 1,000,000% Silly Tilly or even worse, that the Silly Tilly had done a Dilly by Breaking their New Captain. (And how she hated that nickname, but at least it wasn’t Capt’n Killy!) Then, she finally had glanced his way (after making sure that she hadn’t ripped off his finger, though the probability had been low but his ow of pretend pain had been quite convincing!), he had been smiling.

All ninety seven of his perfectly white teeth displaying.

And that hadn’t been enough. 

There had been **_DIMPLES_**.

So… Captain Devilish Dimples of the beautiful nail beds, he became.  

No, no, no. She did not have a **_crush_** on Captain Dimples. No, no, no.

Though she had been through the musician thing, and the soldier thing, and now maybe it was time for her to have a Dad!Thing, and no, she hadn’t double checked his age when it flashed up on the view screen and well, maybe she had, and well, yes, he was old enough to be her father… but THE DIMPLES!

DIMPLES! Oh, and just the amount of greying hair that made him hot, combined with the DIMPLES and the twinkle in his eyes. (And God help her if he ever **_winked_** , as her ovaries would explode and what a mess that would be!)

And those new uniforms showed off his perfectly pert butt and … she really wished that Hugh Culber hadn’t died, besides the fact he was **_DEAD,_** and she missed him dreadfully, and Stamets was bleeding to death from grief, and running away from his pain, but she and Culber had played, “Brig, Befriend or Boink” a few times in the cafeteria when they had been off-shift during late nights, and… and … she could have segued into other things...

Like she had never boinked a _**real** _man. There had been a random hook up or two, but nothing more.  Certainly never an older man with dimples.

* * *

 

The next morning started off extremely well.  Her hair was neatly contained (well, her mother wouldn’t have approved of it, but it was thoroughly contained), her uniform was pristine and then, just after she ordered her green juice with extra, extra green as it behooved a Serious Ensign who was Going Places, she was requested to report to Captain Pike’s office as her meeting had been rescheduled. To five minutes ago.  So being Tilly, her mind ran through a thousand and one explanations on why her meeting had been rescheduled and all of them bad. Broken pinkies, perhaps an infected hang nail of some sort? Or maybe, Logical Sciences had complained about her utility closet, though it was rather spacious for a woman that never moved.

“Enter,” Captain Dimples intoned…no **_CAPTAIN PIKE!_**

She was going to be a proper Ensign, newly permitted into the Command Track program. She’d keep her mouth shut after a polite, professional greeting.

Naturally, that went to heck.

 ** _Immediately_**.

Captain Dimples stood as there wasn’t a chair to be found in his ready room. He continued staring at a PADD, when he finally spoke. “Ensign, I hope you don’t mind that I rescheduled our meeting. I was coming down with a bit of the Crestian Flu and I was hoping…”

She squeaked then as that quip meant that he KNEW about Captain Killy and her climb to the I.S.S. Discovery’s Captain seat.  Her squeak sounded like a horde of baby tribbles being loaded full throttle into a kill zone which caused Captain Pike to trail off with, “You might… have…something… I… could take...”

He looked up, and oh, God help her, the dimples were on full display, and his eyes were literally bouncing with unconcealed amusement.

“Ensign?” he quipped. He then quirked one eye brow at her. “I’d tell you to take a seat but there appears to be a shortage of chairs on Discovery.”

That was something she could fix, her mind offered. That perfectly pert rear of his might appreciate a nicely padded chair, said her inner vixen, who after twenty-three years of unexcused absences, had finally decided to announce her arrival with a licking of her lips and a salacious glance at Captain Dimples’ absolutely incredible hands. Plus, she purred. Loudly.

“I’ll get you some. **_Immediately_**. Arms? Armless? Padding? Heavy padding? Do you want a conference table? Do you want two? It might be crowded but I can make them fit! Or I can reassign space on level 3.”

Her poor PADD was quickly tapped, so that she could offer him a vast variety of chairs, sofas and love seats.

 ** _BAD TILLY, BAD TILLY_** , she chastised herself, even as she pitied the soul that had a chair that Pike requested.  They'd wonder how they found themselves on the floor and where their chairs had gone, she'd swipe them that fast.

He nodded his head, blinked several times during her verbal diarrhea and then dimpled. “And people tell me that I talk fast.”

That helpful tidbit proclaimed, he walked towards her side of the table and then he leaned against it.

Her inner vixen noticed that Captain Dimples smelled very good, very good indeed.

“Ensign? Do I make you nervous? Or do you normally hold warp speed conversations?” was his calm response to her perceptible uneasiness.

Her mouth engaged before her brain offered several helpful suggestions along the lines of ‘no’. Instead, her mouth confessed, “Y-y-y-yes.”

Long, slow exhale was his response, and her mind (and ovaries!) went places that would have made an Orion Slave Girl blush and turn in her Sister of Perpetual Pleasure Achievement badge so she could join a nunnery.  Her inner vixen energetically began to fan herself even while she made a comment about having her own personal summer.

“Well, Ensign, I actually called this meeting to discuss your involvement with the Command Track Program, but I’m glad you were honest in your answer. I’m not Lorca, he abused your trust in him, and I know that I will have to work very hard to regain your trust.”

Tilly’s inner vixen giggled, “ ** _He said HARD_**! NOT JUST **_HARD_** , HE SAID **_VERY_** HARD!”

She stammered then, and blurted, “You don’t have to, I mean, I’m just an Ensign and you’ve got more important people…Commander Saru…”

He held out both hands to staunch her verbal bombardment. And yes, they **_both_ **looked at his pinkie.

“Ensign, you are in a very critical part of your career with Star Fleet.  Unfortunately, your previous experiences had not always been as positive as I would have preferred, so as your Captain, for as long as I am here on the Discovery, I am planning on taking a hands-on approach for mentoring you.”

She was stunned into complete speechlessness. Vixen Tilly had already devested herself of her uniform while she mentally rummaged through her clothes to find something suitable for Hands On Instructions from Captain Dimples.

Inner Vixen yelled, “ ** _HE SAID HANDS ON_**! **_AND THERE’S NOTHING TO WEAR! I AM NOT WEARING DISCO JAMMIES DURING HANDS ON TIME WITH CAPTAIN DIMPLES!_** ”

“After I get some chairs, of course,” he added, complete with dimples.

 


	2. Another Day at the Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pike's Second Day at the Office

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised how well this went over.

“I’d like to speak to the Acting Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise,” Christopher Pike, newly deputized Captain of the U.S.S. Discovery, requested on a secured channel after he had returned to Lorca’s Spartan quarters. (They weren’t his. Not yet, not **_ever_** possibly).

“The Acting Captain is not available at this time,” advised the warm contralto of his ex (and soon to be current, GOD HELP HIM) XO.  “She is currently planning a coupe d’état as apparently that’s the only way she’ll get a Starship. Ferguson’s due tomorrow and I need to get this place cleaned up or at least for the fires to stop. How’s it going, Chris?”

Her familiar wit made his tensed muscles relax. Not that he feared that the Discovery team had picked up any nasty habits in their time in the Mirror Universe, it was still exhausting to continually project an aura of benevolence to a crew of a hundred forty odd traumatized souls. Each step had to be done just so; he had to work with Commander Saru in such a way that his pride wasn’t injured, the crew remained unoffended, yet work could be done, he had names he needed to remember like yesterday and he had to find those damn red things.

“I’ve had better years,” was all he admitted. “And I’d gladly give you a Starship, but you’re not getting **_mine_**.”

“You’ve got TWO, Chris and I have **_none_**. How fair is that?”  she bantered playfully .

When there was no quip forthcoming, Number One who knew the **_entire_** Mirror Universe story including Lorca and the crazy Empress, slowly exhaled. “That bad?”

“They’re not very happy with me being here; they do not trust me one bit,” he admitted.

“Charm them, Chris,” was her sage advice.

“They’ve been through hell. They, naturally, want the Kelpien in charge though the powers-that-be are a little nervous over that. I’m supposed to get this damaged crew stabilized and functioning, evaluate his command style, figure out those damn red dots and… I’m trying my best with them, but they’re not my crew. I’m not their captain. Plus, I spoke with Connelly’s parents. They’re doing as well as to be anticipated, and the fact that he saved assorted lives doesn’t mean shit. Oh by the way, saw your request -  you’re not getting Jet Reno. She’s mine, I found her. Finders keepers, ok?”

Long silence as his forced joviality wasn’t fooling her. Not one damn bit.

“I would have spoken to Connelly’s parents, Chris.”

Long pause.

“No, don’t take on that job for as long as possible. Trust me. There’s an Ensign here. You remember that kid with the flaming red hair at the award ceremony? I’m supposed to mentor her as though I don’t know that her mirror killed her Captain. Do you think she’ll get nervous if I wear body armor around her?”

Number One couldn’t help but laugh, which made Pike feel a little better. Not much, but some.

“Get some sleep, Chris. It will be better in the morning. Promise,” she assured him.

“I have Lorca’s old quarters. I’m anticipating that the entire room is booby trapped and I’ll be murdered before morning,” he woefully confessed which earned him warm laughter and a commanding, “Go to **_sleep_** , Chris.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he agreed.

Pike stared at the ceiling for some time, counted his dead, and then came to a decision.   He reached for his communicator and didn’t realize how late it was until a very sleepy voice answered.

“Ensign Tilly,” he stated. “Forget the chairs. I want a damn mattress that isn’t a bed of nails, two pillows that aren’t sandbags and I want to know if Lt. Commander Danvers is willing to smudge my quarters. Make it so.”

* * *

 

Ensign Tilly, unlike yesterday, was not an Ensign on the go, no, she was in dire need of caffeine. Stamets was deeply concerned when he saw her wired appearance in the mess hall.  It was 5am ship wide time, and she was never up at this time. Unless, she was sciencing and had spent the entire night in total scientific rapture.  

“Ensign, did you just drink those two cups of expresso?” he asked with some alarm. Actually, Tilly hadn’t drunk them, as so much as freebased them and she was headed back to the replicators for more. Best for the safety of all, if he cut her off from the caffeine supply.

The redhead nodded her head and began to explain. To her horror, she could tell that she sounded hyper, which meant she was very bad indeed. “The Captain woke me up this morning at two AM because he wanted a new mattress and pillows so it took me hours to find them. The quartermaster wasn’t happy that I woke him up either, but then after I explained to Corbin it was for the new captain, he had to start trading with all the ships in the area because the Enterprise’s quartermaster said that Captain Pike has a **_specific_** type mattress and specific pillows because of an old injury. I have four shuttle craft arriving in the next hour to start bartering.”

“Tilly,” Paul stated. He then repeated it as though he was applying verbal brakes, even as she continued full speed ahead.

The Stamet Braking Maneuver didn’t work as Tilly continued to chatter away as her eight shots of expresso (with milk alternative) hit her system like a punch drunk Tellarite. “And then Danvers didn’t have any sage. So, I asked the cooks, and they didn’t think that they had the sage he wanted. They offered chamomile, but I don’t know if he drinks tea. There’s so much I don’t know about him, and he’s taken me on as his assistant.”

“Sage?” Paul interrupted. “Chamomile? You’re assisting him? But, you’re in Engineering.” He left, “But you’re MINE,” unvoiced as he was leaving as soon as the red dots started behaving themselves.

“Sage,” Tilly repeated. “I think he wants to exercise Lorca from his quarters. Yes, I’m in Engineering but he wants me to spend a few hours with him daily so I can unlearn everything I learned from Lorca.”

“I think you mean _exorcise_ ,” helpfully offered Paul, who once more longed for Hugh, who would have been able to calm Tilly down, either with a few soft suggestions or a tranq gun. Right now, he was leaning towards a TRANQ GUN.

“That’s what I said. Keep up,” she insisted even as Paul visibly bit his tongue.  “Apparently, Captain’s XO, I mean, his previous one, not Saru, got involved in the haggling, so she’s sent over a list of what I need to obtain if I want him happy. It’s really quite long and I need to get everything settled and ready to move to his quarters and ready room in the next hour and thirty-seven minutes. By the way, are you using all your chairs in your quarters? I’m trying to build him a matching set, and I need two more.”

Paul Stamets, never have been an Ensign in the Command Track Program, still recognized hazing when he saw it. He was pretty sure that the Enterprise quartermaster and the XO had decided to have some fun after nearly dying in a starship that had been wracked by multiple catastrophic failures.

In happier times, it would have been something he would have done. **_Enthusiastically_**. With Hugh.

However, Tilly was in over her head, and he felt that he needed to help Tilly before she crashed and crashed hard. God help him, he didn’t want his little shining star of science turned into a large black hole of cynicism and despair. That was his job, damnit.

“Let me see the list,” he ordered.

“I’m supposed to get it,” she squeaked, as she held her PADD fast against her chest, like a mother tending to her babe. “I have to take care of it.”

“Ensign, I believe that our good friends on the Enterprise have you on a snark hunt,” he explained. He tried to smile, like Hugh would have done, to soften the blow.  God, Hugh, it still hurt so much.

“Snark?” Tilly asked.

“Non-existent Earth animal,” he explained.

“That’s not _nice_ ,” she protested. Her voice sounded tremulous, which meant she was coming off her caffeine high. “Starfleet officers are supposed to be the best of the best. They’re not supposed to be _mean_.”

“They’re having some fun with you,” he explained. Then with a positive tone, he added, “And what we’re going to do, is have fun back by beating them at their own game.”

“How?” her voice quivered either from the terror of being set up to deliberately fail or too much caffeine. Or both.

“We’re going to find **_everything_** on their list,” was his wise counsel.  “And that means we’re calling in the big guns as there is no way in hell, we’ll find everything ourselves in the next hour.”

“You’re going to help me?” Tilly asked. She exhaled loudly, and impulsively hugged him, before she swiftly apologized.  People frowned on ensigns hugging their department heads.

“ ** _We’re_** going to help you. What’s our motto on the Discovery?” he asked.

She faltered. “We have a motto? Wait.. wait…I remember it… All things can be understood once they are discovered; the point is to discover them?”  Tilly appeared tired, and confused even as she clutched her PADD still tighter. Her voice raised in pitch when she exclaimed, “How is that supposed to help me?”

“That’s the old motto, the new motto is, _Nobody is ever, ever fucking with us, ever again,”_ Paul explained.

“I like that.  We can get shirts,” Tilly exclaimed. Then she trailed off when she viewed Paul’s face. “Or maybe not.”

* * *

 

The Discovery bridge crew was less than enthused with being woken at O dark thirty in the morning, but Commander Saru’s presence mitigated the worst of complaints from Keyla Detmer, who was never, ever to be confused as a morning person. With a graceful gesture of his long hands, he offered a solution to the most pressing concerns – time.

“I had scheduled a tour of the Discovery with the Captain after breakfast. I will ensure that is extremely thorough. As I am quite proud of our ship and crew, it may take several hours... perhaps all day. You should be able to arrange his quarters and Ready Room with all of the acquired … plunder.”

That earned a round of soft laughter from those assembled even as each team member stared at the list detailing their part of impossible quest.

Paul raised his cup of coffee after ensuring that Tilly only had water in her glass. “To the brave and valiant team of the Discovery, nobody’s ever fucking with us, ever, again!”

“Here! Here!”

* * *

 

Christopher Pike reapplied his armor, added an additional coating of even-temperedness and doused himself with radiating compassion and calmness. He straightened his hair, ensured that his teeth were clean as nothing caused a captain to lose his reputation faster than having spinach in his teeth.  He was scheduled to meet Commander Saru in the mess hall, so he went slightly earlier to introduce himself to the various kitchen personnel.  

That done, he saw his entire bridge staff having breakfast together, which meant they were busy discussing recent events. ( _ **Him**_ ).

_Discretion, people, discretion._

Saru stood, so the entire group of rebels also stood. Dutifully, even as they tried to hide the evidence of their insurgency. He didn't see any knives, and he didn't have a case of the sniffles so it wasn't the Crestian flu that would do him in. However, he wasn’t getting anywhere near an airlock with any of them.

“At ease,” Pike insisted. “So, am I missing a meeting?”

Guilty looks, which meant yes, so he just smiled to show no harm, no foul.

“Yes,” Burnham offered. “I understand that you are getting a tour of the Discovery… we just thought we’d review with Commander Saru what we thought you’d like to see.”

He continued to smile and then glanced at Saru and Ensign Tilly. “Well, shall we go then? You have your PADD, ensign? So, you can take down my notes?”

Six hours later, Pike had enough of the Saru’s Thorough Tour of the Discovery after he pried open a Jeffries Tube door with Commander Saru.

“Snark Hunt, Commander?” the dust covered Pike quipped which caused Saru to pretend confusion. “I’m pretty sure that the Ensign is tired of staring at my ass while we crawl through the tubes.”

Actually, Tilly had to disagree as she had been quite content to view his rear… err… take up the rear… , but wisely, she said not a word.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pike wonders what he's gotten himself into by taking over the Discovery. Tilly, well, she's just Tilly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written in quite some time, so thank you for coming along for the ride.

Six hours later, Pike had just about enough of the Saru’s Extremely Thorough Tour of the Discovery after he pried open a Jeffries Tube door with Commander Saru.

“Snark Hunt, Commander?” the dust covered Pike quipped which caused Saru to pretend confusion. “I’m pretty sure that the Ensign is tired of staring at my ass while we crawl through the tubes.”

Actually, Tilly had to disagree as she had been quite content to view his rear… err… take up the rear… , but wisely, she said not a word.

“Because I’m finding it very odd that the fourth time we’ve gone through that damn door, it was suddenly and unexpectedly jammed shut. If you’re trying to kill me to obtain command of the Discovery, one day Star Fleet **_will_** wonder where I am,” Pike quietly stated. The two senior officers stared at each other, determining what threat level the other officer posed and how best to neutralize it.

Then Pike’s eyes narrowed in true concern and he spoke very gently, “Commander, your threat ganglions are on display. Do you feel threatened by me? Because, that is not my intent. However, I am not amused right now.”

Saru patted his ganglion down with his practiced, graceful movements.

“I’ve played the game, now I’m taking my toys and leaving, Commander,” Pike quietly stated.

* * *

 

Pike’s ready room completed, Philip Boyce, MD, Chief Medical Office of the U.S.S. Enterprise, nodded his head in satisfaction. “Hurry back to the shuttle, gentlemen, before they determine we’re AWOL.,” he ordered the several large, muscular examples of Star Fleet’s finest who he had brought with him to partake in the nefarious plan to redo Lorca’s ready room.  “His office is missing two things, and I need to place them just so. Then I’ll join you.”

The squad left in a massive egress of muscle, and Boyce stared at the office for a long moment while he debated. When he was done, he carefully placed a photo next to Pike’s various awards. Burnham was able to catch a quick glimpse of the crew of the Enterprise before Boyce blocked her view. 

He then placed a wooden box on the captain’s table and patted it gently.  Then he turned to face Burnham.

“Commander, I want my Captain back in one piece,” he barked. “You tell the rest of your team that. If he doesn’t come back in one piece, they’ll have to deal with me. And then the XO will come after you all, like the Avenging Angel I know her to be, God help you. Is that **_understood_**?”

Michael Burnham refused to be intimidated by anyone, so she made deliberate eye contact with the older doctor. She was keen to defend HER crew against this man who had tried and judged them already.  To her surprise, what she saw in his light eyes wasn’t the judgement she had anticipated. He was merely an exhausted man who was deeply concerned about his friend.

 _As I would have felt toward Georgiou if the positions were reversed_ , she realized. _Our new captain instilled such loyalty in his Enterprise crew. Boyce should be on the Enterprise, as he’s exhausted from treating all those wounded, though he came because he was the only Senior Officer who could help with Pike’s transition._

“I will do everything that I can to ensure that,” she promised.

“He’s a good man, one of the best,” Boyce softly explained. “But he pushes himself too hard, and with two crews, two ships, he’ll push himself even harder.”

She nodded her understanding, and his demeanor changed to that of a fellow conspirator. He leaned towards her and confided, “You tell Chris that I’m prescribing him what’s in the box. It’s medicinal.”

“Will you be informing Dr. Pollard of this treatment?” Burnham asked.

“Hell no, I won’t. It’s **_gin_** ,” Doctor Boyce laughingly admitted.

* * *

 

Pike was dirty and still somewhat perturbed at the complete waste of time that the tour had been, so he strode toward his quarters. Saru easily kept pace, a ground eating lope, but Tilly, Tilly bemoaned her shorter legs. Even after Saru had beat a hasty retreat, claiming that he needed to check on a department, (COWARD! He was making his escape so he could warn the fellow collaborators that a perturbed Pike was on the loose and it would be best to go to ground) Pike continued striding down the corridor (She was RUNNING and she knew that she looked ridiculous as she was dusty, dirt and RED and she had lost her hair ties two hours into the tour so she knew she was wearing a Big Auburn Pyre), when Pike abruptly stopped.  She nearly ran into him as she wasn’t anticipating that.

Tackling Captain Dimples would be VERY BAD, she knew.

 ** _No, it wouldn’t,_** her inner vixen purred as she imagined tackling him.

OMG, SHUT UP! was her mental plea to her inner vixen who, quite frankly, scared her.  Then and there, Tilly vowed to figure out how to suffocate that inner voice.

Pike, unaware of Tilly’s conversations with her various inner dichotomies, stared out the corridor’s windows and then he exhaled.  It was a short, brutal exhale, and Pike did not look happy.

“Ensign, that appears to be an Enterprise shuttle craft leaving our shuttle bay.  Why was I not informed of their arrival?” he intently asked. “Or more importantly, why was I not informed of their departure?”

She had rapidly discovered the different sides of Captain Pike.  There was Captain Dimples, Captain Hard Ass (and literally, she was pretty sure you could bounce a dilithium crystal off them) and the REAL Captain Hard Ass who was giving her a very penetrating stare. No smile, no dimples (she rather missed them) and he was waiting for her to spill her guts.

Tilly was the Weakest link after all, and she was tired, and she was exhausted and she was sweaty, and her hair was rapidly expanding to volumes hither fore unknown to the universe, so naturally she sung like a red-headed canary.

“We didn’t have your mattress type on the ship,” she explained as though that should explain everything. Naturally, it didn’t as a perplexed Pike mouthed, ‘What?’

That meant she had to continue to explain, “And we didn’t have your pillows, and the sheets we had…they weren’t the correct thread count.”

“ ** _Thread count_**?” Pike repeated. “The Enterprise sent a shuttle because of thread count. **_Explain_** , Ensign.”

“And I spoke to Lt. Corbin about how we needed to get you the mattress and why, and… he started trading and bartering with every single ship in the quadrant. I even think he even heard from an El-Aurian named Guinan. Then the Enterprise overheard him bartering on the black-market exchange subspace channel…”

Tilly panicked, rocked on her heels and covered her lips with both hands as well, **_loose lips blew up starships_**. “I shouldn’t have said that. I promised that I wouldn’t. Corbin’s gonna kill me because you’re not supposed to know about that.”

“Ensign, that channel is the universe’s worst kept secret, as that is how every quartermaster pulls off the impossible for their captains,” deadpanned Pike.  “Please continue and remove your hands from your face as you’re an Ensign.”

She did so, though he failed to comment that her arms were rigid and her hands were clenched.

“And the… acting Captain said that the Enterprise wasn’t getting anything you needed, that we weren’t respecting you like you deserved, and she and Dr. Boyce sent me a list. And the list was enormous…and I needed to get everything done as quickly as possible and…I just couldn’t do it, so Stamets got the bridge crew to help me and… Saru was supposed to keep you occupied for most of the day so we could get everything just perfect for you.”

She literally verbally vomited on him and then he nodded his head once. Everything was coming around in a full circle though it was a zig-zagging, meandering, staggering walkabout, much like the tour of the Discovery had been. If he hadn’t requested a mattress at 2am… it was his own damn fault.

 (Plus Number One and Boyce who were probably, even now, merrily cackling over the chaos they had created.  God, he missed those two idiots with a fierceness that would have stunned the Discovery crew. He was surrounded by a crew who rightfully didn’t trust him yet they were apparently dealing with black market linen racketeers. Chris was in dire need of one of Boyce’s medicinal cocktails. He wasn’t a drinking man, but today, today was an exception.)

“The next time, I request a new mattress at 2am, I give you my permission to tell me to put in a req with Corbin, Ensign Tilly. So you’ve been running around since then, powered only by what I can assume is an absolutely thermonuclear amount of expresso because Boyce insisted that I needed 200 thread count sheets? I **_will_** kill him,” he earnestly promised.

There was the slightest hint of a Pike smile, so Tilly relaxed which meant her mouth engaged before she could stop it.

“1,200,” she interrupted, proudly. She firmly nodded her head.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Your sheets are one thousand two hundred thread count, 1-2-0-0, made from the finest Andorian Spider webs.”

“Is that **_even_** legal?” Pike protested. There were blind Andorian monks who spent their entire lives weaving the miniscule spider webs into the fabric. If they weren’t blind when they started weaving, they were doomed to it before long. Wars had been fought over Andorian spider web bedding.

“Yes, because Dr. Culber was given them before he died, by a grateful Andorian because he saved his daughter’s antennae …. Stamets couldn’t bring himself to use them, not with Hugh gone, so he donated them to the cause.”

“ ** _Cause_**?”  he parroted.

No response, so he continued to stare.  It was a trick that he had learned from his former Captain and it never ever had failed him. Today was no exception as there were thin cracks in Tilly’s psyche.

“Cause?”  was his repeated question. “What cause did he donate it to?”

Her inner vixen waved her hand, attempted to flatten her hair into manageability (Lost cause!) and mentally screamed, **_“I WANT YOU TO LIKE ME_**!”

God, she was desperate!

“We want you… **_happy_** ,” she blurted.

No, Ensign Sylvia Tilly did not just admit that there was a **_Make Christopher Pike Happy Cause_** on the Discovery.

“Happy. You want me happy?”  Pike had to admit that he had rapidly lost control of the conversation early on and he was only barely managing to keep a straight face. Laughing at Tilly would be traumatizing for her because she was just so… so…. incandescent.  He needed to return to his quarters and figure out a new method for handling the Discovery crew because they were confusing him.

Speaking of which, he needed to make sure he did something for Owosekun and Detmer for preventing him from becoming Christopher on a Pike.  He couldn’t give them the Medal of Honor as two would be so déclassé but maybe a day of leave together? The two of them were obviously involved but as Captain, he wasn’t aware of such things.

Tilly energetically nodded her head, hair flying every which way as it had long since escaped its containment field and had begun to energetically fill the empty space around her.  Nature abhorred a vacuum and Tilly’s hair was determined to fill it.

“I don’t need to be happy, Tilly. Just let your fellow accomplices know that I’ll always do my best for **_our_** crew regardless if I’m happy or not. Unless they decide I need another six hours tour of the Jeffries Tubes so they can partake in shenanigans, then they can scrub them out with tooth brushes as they are rather dusty.”

He cracked his neck and then softly laughed.

“I need a shower. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ensign. And a word of advice, cut down on the expresso.” Actually, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Tilly wouldn’t take his advice.  An order, on the other hand, she just might take. “Belay that, that’s actually an order, Ensign. One cup a day unless I otherwise give permission.”

“C-c-aptain?” Tilly trembled. “Commander Saru also wanted me to invite you to the mess hall at 7. We’re having cake.”

He would not laugh. He would not laugh, though she was back to clutching her hands.

“Cake?” he repeated as he fell further and further down the rabbit hole that was seemingly caked with magical mushroom dust, oh sorry, **_spores_**.  It was safe to say that he didn’t know up from down, so he figured, skip the shower, just go to his ready room.  There was one standing desk and no chairs, so he knew exactly where he stood.

Until he opened the door to find Detmer carefully placing the two horse statues just so. Owosekun was placing pillows on his couch and… **_couch_** … There was **_furniture_** in his ready room. **_His_** furniture from the Enterprise.

“Captain in the Ready Room,” announced Stamet who had just finished arranging his vases based on a diagram. Antiques from Earth, and… all of his bridge staff was in his ready room. 

 ** _His_** bridge crew was assembling his office and… **_Boyce_** had been there as he knew that damn traveling kit of martinis hadn’t just arrived on its own. Or maybe the magical mushrooms had delivered them with a belch.

Commander Saru stood up and then gracefully performed what Chris thought was a Kelpian Welcoming gesture.

“Captain Pike, please accept our sincerest apologies for not having your Ready Room prepared for you when you took over command,” the Kelpian apologized.

“That’s quite alright, Commander. That’s quite alright.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the cake. Cake, as in one cake, Tilly.

Christopher Pike ensured that he spoke to all of the Discovery conspirators involved with setting up his Ready Room before he sent them on their way. But first, he had presented his challenge coins to Owosekun and Detemer.  A small gesture that he had picked up from one of his commanders that represented a Commander’s appreciation for a job done well.  He had picked up quite the collection over the years and on the nights, he couldn’t sleep, he’d review the coins which represented commanders past and lessons learned. Both the good and the bad.

Owosekun and Detmer had taken his presentation of their challenge coins as though he had given them a moon made of solid latinum.

“With this, it means, if you ever need anything from me, I will do everything I can to help you,” he explained as he handed the coins to the pair. “They’re from the Enterprise, I know, but it’s all I have. I greatly appreciate you preventing me from becoming a Christopher on a Pike.”

The Bridge team had been pleased about the pair’s recognition but his sincere thanks for setting up his Ready Room had made his officers perceptibly reassured. It was though they had secretly feared his reaction. Why would he be angry? He had a place to sit, a place to have group discussions, and with his Ready Room, he had a working base to purge Lorca’s taint from the Discovery bit by bit.

He understood why they acted like they did.  God knows he did. It didn’t make it any easier for him, though.

_You’ve had a mirror universe Lorca infiltrate the crew warping your Star Fleet ideals in possibly unknown ways, a Klingon impersonating a human, who killed your doctor, a mutineer who is now a Federation hero … oh and Commander Saru had a slight mental break with reality on Pahvo when he had been possessed by blue cloud aliens thingies. (Mental note to self – find better description for those blue cloud alien thingies. Chris, you’re a captain of a Starship, use big words, as thingies lacked a certain gravity though it was appropriate as they were blue cloud thingies and not affected by gravity.) You skip through space on the Magical Mushroom Tour and one of your new officers had decided to modify his DNA to talk to the spores better, which you’re hoping Step-Dad doesn’t know about as he’s sure to blow a warp coil. You’re anxiously waiting for the real Christopher Pike to show up, for the new StepDad to sprout two additional heads, four extra appendages and a tail and reveal his alcoholic rage while he beats you raw._

_And you’re trying to be well behaved and quiet so the new Step-Dad doesn’t beat the shit out of you._

He opened a secure channel to Admiral Katrina Cornwell and waited for her to answer.

“Hello, Chris. Been busy on Discovery, haven’t you?” she questioned even though she already knew the answers to those questions and a thousand more unvoiced queries. “Jumping into Asteroid belts, rescuing lost ships, possible dark matter asteroids and those big red dots. Got your fill of action yet?”

The two of them had known each other too long to pretend, so he chuckled at her caustic greeting.

“I sent you Jet Reno, I figured you’d have your hands full with her, so you’d stop picking at my psyche.” was his fast retort, complete with smile. “By the way, my XO wants her bad.”

“Saru?” Cornwell pointedly asked, just to remind him that the Enterprise wasn’t his, not currently. To complete the lesson, she bequeathed him a Vice-Admiral-sized eye roll. “Don’t do the dimples, Chris. They don’t work on me as I am **_immune_** to them. Yes, she’s rather interesting. Quite refreshing, in fact. Horrifies the old crew here, but sometimes you need to shake things up. What’s your opinion of the Discovery?”

“Honestly, they’re walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think there’s a pool on when the real Chris Pike shows up and beat the hell out of them. There’s only a couple that are willing to express an opinion. Burnham… Saru… The rest don’t trust that what they’re seeing is who I am.”

He gestured with his hand, and Cornwell agreed.

“Naturally,” Cornwell agreed.  “There’s no façade with you, Chris. That’s one of the reasons why I put you there as I need that crew fixed and functional. What do you think of Sylvia Tilly?”

Christopher tapped his fingers on his desk and deliberated before he spoke. “You advised me that in your opinion the Mirror Lorca deliberately put Burnham and Tilly together to try to recreate their Mirror selves. I’ve not coughed or sneezed around Killy yet, so I’m still observing.”

Katrina narrowed her eyes so she wasn’t amused.

“Ok. She’s got smarts like few I’ve ever met. I’m thinking Jet Reno level smarts complete with matching missing filter. I make her extremely nervous so she chatters a great deal in our one to ones. I’ve taken her on as my yeoman, claimed it was part of the Command Track Program so I’m squeezing a few hours in my schedule for her daily. I’ll give you a better evaluation in a few days but I am concerned that I may have another officer under my command heading towards complete mental and physical exhaustion. I don’t want to carry that guilt if Tilly self-immolates."

“She is too bright, too brilliant for her to burn out, Katrina."

They sat in silence for a bit and then Cornwell softly spoke. “There was another fire on the Enterprise today.”

He sat up straighter and intently asked, “Casualties?”

“None, Svenson got burned but he’ll be ok. But it’s pushed back the repair date. Your XO’s fuming as I ordered her not to tell you. I told her that I would.”

“Saru? I thought he was male,” he quipped before he turned serious. “Do they have any idea what caused the original problem?”

Cornwell shook her head.

* * *

He reviewed the duty rosters, crew evaluations, mentally noting the ones Lorca had praised as people that needed further review and monitoring/mentoring plus the various duty logs. While Lorca had been a power-hungry egomaniac from an alternative universe, he had run a tight ship so his records were thorough and quite up to date.   And while Christopher was spending paperwork time in his Ready Room, he tried to get in tune with the ship’s inertial dampeners so he could keep his space sickness at bay. It was a smaller ship than the Enterprise so he was feeling slightly… off…  Didn’t need to be medicated, but he had to get comfortable with the feel of the smaller ship or maybe it was just the self-induced pressure of being the best Captain Discovery needed right then and there.

That’s why he was late for the cake. He had debated changing into civvies, but since it was just a welcoming cake, and probably the audience was just a straggler or three besides department heads and the bridge crew, the hell with it, they’d have to take him in uniform.  

* * *

The band was playing, the backup DJ had prepped their music, people were happily dancing but there was no Captain Pike.  A few souls had made eyes over the Tres Leches cake but Tilly had warned them to back off.

“Great party, Tilly, if I do say myself,” Stamets modestly admitted as he had been the one of the ones conscripted to oversee it. “Where’s our guest of honor?”

“I told him seven, so we could all get here before he showed up, just in case he’s early. I have not figured out his schedule yet,” she admitted.

“Really?” Stamets asked. His head was tilted and he looked amused. “For some reason I thought you’d have it down cold."                               

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her voice rose as she stepped toward Stamets.

“You’re really scary when you’re coming off a caffeine high,” Paul confessed as he stepped away from her. Tilly wasn’t having of it, as it wasn’t an answer, so she stepped towards Paul. In her one hand was the cake knife as she had removed it from risk of being acquired by the vultures that were circling the cakes and the churros.

Fortunately, Paul Stamets’ life was saved by Christopher Pike arriving.

* * *

 

Chris entered the mess hall and the first thing he realized, a good proportion of the crew was there.

And…. Nobody was wearing a uniform except for him.

There was a band including a horn player and… what appeared to be one of his engineers playing a rather mean bass. And was that Ramsey on an electric sitar?

There was a DJ.

There was a bar and there was a vast quantity of food, and… someone (BOYCE!) had reported on all his personal favorites… yes… there was cake. Or should he say, CAKES.

He nodded his head and quickly zoned in on a certain auburn ensign who was unsuccessfully hiding behind a certain Kelpian Commander.  Therefore, he walked over to the bridge crew who was looking inordinately pleased with themselves.

“Been very busy today, have we?” he asked. “Between the Ready Room and this…”

He waved his hand in the general direction of the music, food and cakes.

“Traditionally, there is a small gathering when a new Captain takes over command,” Burnham explained. For a moment, she sounded so much like Spock that Pike almost did a double take.

“I was told you were merely having cake,” he explained. “CAKE as in singular, Ensign Tilly. Care to explain the plurality, Ensign?”

Tilly twirled and he saw the knife in her hand.  Instinctively, he grasped her wrist, but very gently.

“Please put the knife down,” he requested.  He dimpled to show his amusement. “After all the trouble you went to my Ready Room, I’d hate for you to have to redo it for the next Captain.”

“Oh, this? I’m saving it for the cake...” Tilly explained even as she bit her lip.

“Cakes,” inserted Pike as he released her wrist. “CakeSSSS. As in more than one.”

“Engineering was scoping out the cakes, and I wanted to make sure that you got your choice,” she explained.  “I figured if I took the knife, they couldn’t grab any. Wait! Wait! The Captain gets first dibs.”

Tilly ran over to defend the desserts as the Engineering team had decided to expeditiously solve the problem of the missing knife by cutting the cakes with a laser carver. 

“Engineers,” sighed the long suffering Saru.  “Perhaps you might want to make your selection before Security arrives, Captain.”

* * *

 

Pike decided on two pieces of the Tres Leches cake, one for tonight, and one for tomorrow because the Engineering Team had convinced him that there would be nothing left in a few minutes. The confectionaries'  safety arranged with the kitchen staff, he decided to it was proper and necessary to perform the mandatory Captain mingle which was a finely-honed skill. He spoke to this person, and that person, nursed one drink until it was watered down from the ice cubes.

That drink discarded, he then walked up to one of his bridge crew and tapped on their shoulder.

“Do you dance?” he asked.

“C-c-captain?” Stamets stammered.  He seemed surprised that Pike had selected him as his first victim. “I do.”

“Shall we then? I lead,” Pike helpfully offered.

“Naturally,” Paul chuckled as he looked up at the slightly taller man. “You’re taller. You’re the Captain. You lead.”

Pike dimpled, then turned serious.

“I use my bridge crew to run interference at social events when necessary, so I need to figure out who I can use on the Discovery,” Pike explained as they walked out to the dance floor, causing everyone to horribly fail at not noticing. “We leave a wide berth between us and everything is above board. You’re really not my type, I’m afraid.”

Paul tilted his head and attempted a joke which failed miserably because HUGH. Paul had only been Hugh’s type. “I think I’m insulted. Who is your type?”

“A lady by the name of Discovery,” Pike admitted.  “While I’m Captain, she is my one true love and nothing will ever come between us. Speaking of which, I wanted to thank you for staying with us until we determine what those red dots are.”

* * *

 

Detmer circled back to Owosekun and Tilly. They were standing next to Rhys and Airiam and they were making short work of their desserts. “Pike’s dancing with Stamets,” she hissed.

Joann Owosekun smiled and teased, “Stamets appears on the verge of flight. It’s a good look on him.”

“He does look terrified,” admitted Tilly.

The music stopped yet the commenting continued.

“Now he’s dancing with Burnham,” Rhys inserted.  “Oh dear, she needs lessons. Stamets dances much better than she does.”

“You offering to give her lessons, Rhys?” Detmer quipped.

“God no,” the tactical officer admitted, complete with head shake. “No, no, no. Just commenting.”

Tilly continued to fake a smile as well, her inner vixen had decided to get totally smashed on Risa Mai Tais and was now loudly sobbing in the back of her mind.  Her Inner Vixen was a sloppy, maudlin drunk. The inner Brainiac processing unit of Tilly wasn’t helping matters as she huffed, ‘Like we had a chance, people! He thought you were channeling your inner Killy when you nearly stabbed him with a cake knife.’

‘I didn’t,’ wailed the Inner Vixen. ‘I just wanted to make sure that he got a piece of the cake. Dr. Boyce said his mother used to make it. I wanted brownie points.’

‘You mean, **_cake_** points,’ the Brainiac announced.

‘Ladies, he took two pieces. That means tomorrow morning, Gym time, **_hello_**!’ said another inner Tilly. ‘Hot, sweaty Pike in clinging clothes. I think I may actually get up early and hit the gym tomorrow morning.’

Her personalities were splitting so fast that Tilly wasn’t sure which one was speaking then but it was someone who liked getting up awfully early. Thank God she didn’t insert her opinion that often.

“Excuse me? You didn’t answer my question,” a male voice asked. 

“I’m sorry, I was thinking?” she offered. “Would you mind repeating the question?”

She turned and realized that she was speaking to Captain Pike. He held out one hand and turned a crooked smile her way.  “I was asking if you would like to dance? By all means you can say no. This not an order.”

Her inner Tillies jumped to attention and started the Lambada, spilling multiple half empty pitchers of Risa Mai Tais in the process, but Sylvia Tilly shook her head. “I don’t really know how to dance.”

“That’s fine, I’ll show you. Come on,” he offered.  His hand was loose and gentle on hers as he led her through the crowd.  

“But.. but…” she protested. “I’ll step on your feet. And what if I break your toe?”

“Ensign, please tell me that you didn’t partake in an Espresso Martini,” he asked. “Because you’re talking **_extremely_** fast. I thought we agreed, one espresso a day.”

“No,” she began before he turned to face her once more.  “But sometimes I need espresso as part of my problem solving skill kit….”

“Ok, I’m going to put my hand on your back. Are you ok with that position?” he asked.

She nodded, and then he proceeded to place her arm on his shoulder before gently grasping her free hand and positioning it just so. Oh my God, he’s wearing that cologne!

“Now, we just sway to the music. There’s a good foot or more between us so your reputation will remain safe,” Pike assured her before he started instructing her on what foot to place and where. “And now we can chat. First question, do I still make you nervous?”

She nodded, and he softly exhaled. He was silent for a long moment, and she was about to speak.

“Twirl,” he explained just before he twirled her a full 360. “And back. I cannot blame you for not trusting me. Trust has to be carefully and deliberately built over time. But as your Captain, let me assure you that I would die for you.”

“I don’t want that,” she shakily protested.

“Well, my decision, not yours, Tilly.” The music stopped and then Pike smiled.  It was a warm, dazzling smile that made Tilly feel as she was the only person in the entire universe. “Thank you for the dance and you didn’t break any of my toes. Now, it’s time for me to quietly make my exit as the crew needs to have fun and not worry about the Old Man. I have a piece of cake that I have to sample. Plus, I have these new Andorian spider web bed sheets. I should have my best sleep in years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your reviews. They mean a great deal. Next chapter may take longer to arrive as my muse is being temperamental. (EG she wants to hit them with the Selmak Hammer o' Angst (tm).


	5. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things happen.

When Christopher Pike woke in SickBay, he pondered the important, universal concepts. For example, it might have been better to have died than wake up. His ribs hurt, and he couldn’t take a deep breath without agonizing pain and Pollard, legendary for her complete lack of compassion, was intent on displaying a previously unknown talent as a standup comedian.  

Really, did his first solid food have to be spare ribs? Funny. Haha. Not.

Phil Boyce would have heartily approved of her.  Shit, he'd probably trained her in a hundred thousands ways to torture your Commanding Officer.

Plus, one of his Sick Bay roommates was the Concussed Ensign Tilly, she of the unquenchable espresso addiction, who’d seemingly saved his life and the 11,000 others on New Eden by convincing Detmer to do a doughnut.

In a starship.

Oh, sorry…. a continuous stationary circular drift…

 [Sorry, no. He had crossed out that verbiage in the official report and told Saru to just put down that Detmer had done a **_doughnut_** in the Discovery.]

Yes, Detmer had done a doughnut to sling shot a dark matter asteroid into outerspace so that the radioactive ring would follow it into outer solar system. It would be something to tell her kids later on.

Considering Tilly was supposed to be RESTING from a concussion, she was awfully chatty. Awfully popular too as everyone was coming to see HER. You’d think as the Captain, he’d rate a private room or at least a visitor besides the gentlemanly Saru. The Kelpian was too polite to voice his disappointment that Pike wasn’t permanently incapacitated so he could get the big chair back.

So, to escape Tilly, Christopher managed to pull himself upright and staggered his way out of the Sick Bay even while the recovering Ensign Tilly protested that he shouldn’t leave.  “Pollard is going to be so unhappy that you’re going AWOL, Captain. You should be leading by example.”

Pot. Kettle, **_Doughnut_** , he felt like reminding her.  Plus, he wanted sweet, blessed quietness where he didn’t have to worry about laughing.  It was hard pretending to be stoic when Tilly was just bouncing off the walls in her crazed enthusiasm.  She reminded him of a young ensign who had been at great risk at being spaced in his early years. (Here’s looking at you, Christopher Pike.)

* * *

 

“Chris, you’re looking gray,” Kat Cornwell informed him when he called in for their daily chat after his elopement from Sick Bay.

“At this rate, I will be whitehaired by the time I get back to the Enterprise,” he protested. Even the 200 Andorian monks that had given their eyesight to make his bedding weren’t doing anything for his pain as he stifled a moan.

“No, you are seriously ashen. I am contacting Dr. Pollard,” she said even while he futilely protested.

Dr. Pollard handled him exactly like Boyce would have done. She broke into his quarters, bequeathed him a scathing look of disapproval, and a firm, “Captain, Sick Bay.”

Really, was it really necessary to get marched down to Sick Bay by his bridge crew? Then Pollard tersely ordered him to remove his shirt after he was back on the Bio Bed.

“Might I have some privacy, Doctor?” He requested as there was quite the crowd watching the freak show. “Maybe a curtain? A privacy shield?”

“Sorry, curtains are on backorder. Blame the Captain,” was her tart comment. Then she slowly and carefully enunciated as though to a small, disobedient child, “Shirt. Off. Captain.”

“In front of the Ensign?” he protested as Tilly was across the sickbay from him. Really, he had seen forty several years ago and he wasn’t comfortable stripping in front of a twenty-something Ensign.  It would give him a reputation. Plus, the Medical Staff was enjoying the free show too much, as they were selling tickets and popcorn. No doubt there would be video shared among the crew later.

“Close your eyes, Tilly,” snapped Pollard. “You don’t want to get struck blind by Adonis here.”

“Closing them,” offered the ever helpful Tilly even as a wincing Pike asked the deadpanned Doctor. “You know Phil Boyce by any chance?”

“Yes, I know Phil. He told me all about you, and your death wish…” Her tone turned softer after she removed his shirt. “Your breathing is shit, and your color’s off. Stop jumping on phasers, Captain.”

Pike protested, “She was probably seven years old, Doc. I couldn’t watch her die.”

She injected him with something. His sincerity must have touched something really deep in her core; she gave him something **_really_** good as he was able to breathe once more and the pain eased enough so he could close his eyes.

* * *

 

Ensign Sylvia Tilly soon returned to light activity but she quickly ramped up on her own initiative to her previous duties plus some. She excitedly scienced, (yes, that was a verb), took on all the various grunt jobs that an Ensign was expected to take plus … she still continued to meet with Captain Dimples for Hands on Mentoring.  Her inner vixen grew disgusted by what Pike viewed as Hands on Mentoring-- that being Vertical, Upright, Desk between them and Uniforms On with only rare flashes of the Dimples Hands on Mentoring -- and had joined a mental nunnery. But not before the inner vixen had scoped out what Keyla Detmer and Joann Owosekun wore underneath their regulation uniforms.  It wasn’t her fault that they changed in the gym locker room, now was it?

And her inner vixen had bought an even dozen or so of assorted naughties, and had ignored the shopkeeper’s ‘helpful’ suggestion that she buy something more supportive and well… streamline.  Though all her inner Tillies had loudly shrieked about Starship Captains with Dimples preferring a voluptuous Crossfield style Star Ship over a broken-down skeletal medical transport for… physical transport. (No offense to Jet Reno, who had quickly become one of Tilly’s idols, what with her smarts and her no-nonsense, take no abuse attitude.)

“Enter,” he announced and so she strode into his ready room and prayed to the patron Saint of Ensigns that she didn’t chatter like a crazed Andorian Bladder Nosed Monkey.

* * *

 

It was time for his Very Serious meeting with Ensign Sylvia Tilly.  He stacked thirty-seven pads in front of her and then he sat down. There was a pile already on his desk.

“Sit,” he commanded.  His face was quite serious which made Tilly rather nervous. “I’ve taken a look at your duty roster the last week or so and… I had Pollard review it also. I have to admit that I’m exceptionally disappointed with you.”

Tilly froze. Her face turned red and she bit her lip.

Pike spoke to her softly, “You were put on light duty for a reason, Ensign. You took a significant blow to the head, and your brain needs to heal. Yet, when I look at all these reports, all I see is your name. Tilly here, Tilly there, Tilly everywhere. I have reminded my senior officers that they are not to permit your enthusiasm to adversely affect your health. Therefore, you’re off duty until Dr. Pollard says that you can return.  And because I have a, not unfounded, fear that you’ll decide to wrestle an exploding super nova for giggles while my back is turned, you’re off the ship.”

Christopher Pike leaned back in his chair and exhaled slowly and carefully. Damn ribs still bothered him.

“Will this affect my position in the Command Track Program?” she asked. She tried to be stoic but failed miserably.

“Actually, this will help your position in the Command Track Program, as your brain will be permitted to rest. No science, Ensign. I have been requested to witness the signing of a peace treaty that I helped broker a few months ago. You’ll be my attaché.”

“Really?” her voice rose in excitement. “I get to be your attaché?”

“Yes, but Ensign, absolutely positively no espresso at all for you. They are a no caffeine culture.”

Tilly couldn’t help but exclaim her surprise, “Really? How do people live like that? How can they think? How do they brainstorm?”

Christopher Pike leaned towards her and explained, "You're going to find out shortly."

* * *

 

By the time the day of departure came, Ensign Tilly had rapidly determined that being an attaché was significantly less fun than working with Stamets.  Because there were pop quizzes about culture, diplomacy and tactics, even as they (just the two of them!) boarded their shuttle craft.

“Ensign, how do you greet the Enolian Ambassador?” Pike asked her as he busily thumb printed several PADDS as the Discovery was heading off to restock. He'd rather restock the ship than deal with the Enolains. They'd sell their mother for lanitum if they could find a buyer.

She rattled off the answer which earned a head bob of approval.

Thumbprint, thumbprint,  oh wait… better check one PADD as he did not authorize THAT. He loudly sighed and handed the PAD back to Burnham. “Tell Rhys, good try but ‘no’ on the requisition. Doctor, I doubled your order of curtains for Sick Bay.”

He grinned which caused the Doctor to remain completely unimpressed with one Christopher Pike.

“Here’s your medication, use it if you need it,” his personal Angel of Medical Indifference ordered as she had promised to see his ass off the ship. “Does the Ensign know how to administer it?”

“I’ll administer it myself,” he assured the doctor who began to voice a futile protest. He spoke over her to instruct the rest of the crew, “Saru! If you see any of my damn red things, come get me before you go jaunting across the universe. I don’t want to be stuck there any longer with the Enolians than it takes for them to sign off on treaty.”

“Captain, if time is of the essence,” the ever so polite Saru began…

(Which translated into Fuck off, I want the Big Chair, Chris.)

“You will save me from them and you will have my undying gratitude, Commander. Burnham, please remind the Commander that I want to join the chase for the little red dots. Please do not leave me stranded with the Enolians, looking for a way to hitchhike a ride back to the Discovery.”

Burnham, all stoicism and seriousness, nodded her head. “Anything else, Sir?”

“If they report anything on the USS Janus, forward it to me,” Pike requested. “I knew several officers that were lost on that ship when all hands went down. And make sure the Commander picks us up if the red dots show up. We do not want Ensign Tilly to miss all the fun.”

He leaned toward Burnham and softly ‘confessed’, “You know that she’ll pout for weeks.”

His witticism earned him a brief smile, which he recognized from his time with her foster brother. It must be their mother’s smile as Sarek never smiled.

“I want the Discovery returned to me in better shape than when I left it,” he informed Saru.  He kept his tone deadpanned but smiled crookedly.

“Of course, Captain,” Saru dutifully informed him. “I’ve already updated the duty rosters to improve preventative maintenance.

One of these days, he’d get the Kelpian to laugh. Alas, today was not the day and probably would not be for some time.

* * *

 

Pike expertly launched the shuttle craft and when they were thirty minutes out, he asked Tilly if she had ever flown one before.  Based on the copious review of her records, he knew she hadn’t but really, he had time to kill and what could go wrong?

“No!” Tilly exclaimed with an ear to ear grin. “Can I?”

Her enthusiasm was contagious, so he wouldn’t help but smile. He placed the shuttle on autopilot and then motioned for her to take his seat. “Ship’s all yours, Captain.”

She blushed and began asking questions. Not just about the shuttle, but about the peacekeeping efforts that had led to the treaty and the various political factions involved. Previous Captains he had served with… all that..  Then naturally, she surprised him by asking about USS Janus.

“Who did you know on the Janus?” She softly asked. Her eyes grew wide as she offered a gently apologetic, “If I shouldn’t have asked, let me know.”

“I’ve known… sorry had known…Hana Tanaka for years. Little spitfire of a captain.” He fondly smiled, even as he deeply mourned her death. “Their operations officer was on the Enterprise for a bit.  Rafe… big guy, music aficionado, though he was hardcore tech.  He actually volunteered for that neural net implant project so he could interface with the Janus.”

Pike shivered, “I just can not imagine being wired to a machine.”

There was a soft chime of an alarm as a ship broke warp near them and Pike leaned towards the various screens. “I’m picking up a ship coming up fast on our starboard side. I am unable to verify it. Let’s take some evasive maneuvers. Just for practice, Ensign.”

He smiled to show that he wasn’t worried, but he was. It was running silent, which raised his hackles.

“Captain, there is a ship on our port,” Tilly announced even as Pike quickly tapped a few screens.

“I am dropping a telemetry buoy,” he stated. “Sending out standard greetings. This may be a first contact situation and Commander Saru loves those.”

Silence. Then there was a loud clunk and the shuttle shook from the impact.

“We are being hailed, Captain,” Tilly announced.

Pike didn’t even bother to read the translation.  Some things were universal, requiring no translation, and the drilling noise was very bad news. Their new friends were either planning on leaking the ship’s air out to the vacuum of space, or they had planned to drug them.

“Correction, we’re being boarded.” He leaned towards Tilly. “Ensign, I want you to listen to me. I will get you out of here. I promise you that, but you need to do everything I tell you to do.  Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” she stated.

“Do you trust me?” Pike intently questioned her.

“I do… but I’m scared,” she shakily admitted. “I-i-i-i.”

“Want a secret? Captains get scared, too, but we always focus on protecting our crew. So, Captain Tilly, you focus on me, and I’ll focus on you.”

She nodded even as he tasted copper on his tongue and heard the hiss as aridic gases flooded the compartment. 

Shit, they were being drugged.

Great.

* * *

 The Breen Captain looked at his two unconscious captives. 

"He's supposedly one of their best captains?"  he asked his assistant.

"Yes," she assured him. "The Enolian said that he was the Captain of their flag ship."

The Breen was not impressed, as they were Federation after all. 

"Give them both to the Mentats, see if they can reset his allegiance.  We need that ship functioning, and none of the Overseers have gotten very far with it."

* * *

 

“Commander, we are receiving a message from the Enolian government. They advised that … Captain Pike and Ensign Tilly are several hours overdue,” Rhys informed Saru. "They have not reported that they would be delayed and they are not answering their com."

Naturally, his threat ganglion decided to display then and there.

* * *

 

When Christopher woke, he softly moaned. Everything hurt and… things seemed fuzzy… as though his world was askew. His unification binding was still on his left wrist which meant that … the dim memories of a unification ceremony were in fact, his.  They were so fuzzy, as though they belong to someone else, but they became stronger and more… real… as he focused on them.

“Shh… shh…”  his mate whispered. “You aggravated your old war injury last night. You insisted on dancing…Your ribs can’t take that, not just yet.”

He opened his eyes to see flames… bright red hair. His world came to focus with an almost audible click. Sylvia, his mate, who wore the fresh delicate tattoos of the unified, which matched the ones he now wore.  Theirs was not a love match, but a mutual pact of protection after they had been transferred to the worst ship in the universe.

**_Make something of it, or die. And to motivate you, we’re assigning one of your old crew with you. You fail, we hurt her or worse._ **

“Sylviate,” he softly protested. “I promised you that I’d dance for our union.”

Yes, she hadn’t asked because she knew the injury flared at the most inconvenient times but he’d always remember how happy she had been when he had led her to the dance floor.  His use of the unified diminutive made her smile, so, in turn, he smiled.

“Oh, good,” she whispered as she touched his face with her right hand which was also still bound. “They didn’t tattoo your dimples. And yes, the cords have not been removed. You fell asleep as soon as you got into bed this morning.”

“Come lie next to me, I want unity,” he informed her. “Let’s untie the cords…”

She was smiling, but she appeared uneasy. As well she should be, as she was coming to their unity bed as the far less experienced of them. Theirs was not a match based on love, no, not at all but they had agreed on certain issues. The right to ask, and more importantly, the right to refuse.

Plus, the fact that if they shared a bed, he could keep her safer than if she were stationed alone. Why, oh why, did he get sentenced to the worst ship in the universe? He was being given a busted ship with a crew made of assorted Terrans, a few Andorians and a Deltan and… a Chip-Head.

“Come, lie next to me,” he softly requested. “I’ll take everything nice and leisurely.”

Sylvia blushed so he traced her unity tattoos on her face with a gentle touch.

“We can’t. The Overseers want you dressed and presentable to meet your new crew as quickly as possible. I think they want you sooner rather than later, so we need to break the cords. I don’t want them angry as we must have done something to end up here.”

Pike interrupted, “It’s bad luck to break the cord; we need to untie it. But first, I am remiss in not greeting you properly.”

He cupped her chin with his fingers and he gently kissed her. It was slow and leisurely as he guided her through this new experience. When they finally broke apart, she was breathless.

“Tonight, we’ll try out the captain’s bed,” he softly informed her which caused her to blush once more.

“Unless, you want to wait, and get more comfortable with his new arrangement between us,” he teasingly offered. For added charm, Christopher tilted his head and gave her a very crooked smile.

To his amusement, Tilly answered him in kind.

“Captain, with a Deltan on board, I’m planning on having you in my sexual thrall as soon as physically possible,” was her fast retort.

It was all false bravado, so he kissed her once more. That done, he carefully unwrapped the bonding cord and presented it to Tilly.

“For possible fun later,” he offered, which caused her to merrily giggle. “We have to be careful, Tilly. Trust none of them.”

She nodded her head and then insisted on helping him into his captain’s uniform.  Tilly straightened the wrinkles on his jacket, though he disapprovingly murmured, “Now is not the time,” when she ‘straightened’ his inseam.  That done, Sylvia Tilly stared at her… no… HER Captain.

“I like the grey. It makes you look serious, and very formidable,” she informed him as she handed him his PainStick. “I charged it for you.”

He lifted it, felt the width and the heft of it and nodded his head. The faded memories came together with an almost audible click then, as he pumped his fist against his chest. “Hail to the Empire.”

She repeated it and then the two walked out to meet their new crew.  God help the Federation Ship that had the misfortune to meet up with Christopher Pike.


	6. The Captain and The DeathShip

Christopher Pike nodded his head in polite acknowledgement to the masked Breen Overseer. It was a male, most likely an Amoniri based on the various minute details, the way he walked, the tilt of the helmet, the slight acidic rank about him, and  he dutifully noted that his rank was a Thot.

“Pleasant unification night?” The Thot questioned. “You look well rested. The wench looks tired.”

Pike nodded once and dryly assured the Thot, “A gentleman never asks and certainly never tells.”

The Thot wasn’t amused, but they never were.

* * *

 

By the time they reached the Federation ship, Pike’s headache had reached epic proportions. He felt... dizzy…and his vision was blurred. Plus, everything memory-wise was a haze.  In a private moment, as the Thots didn’t sit with the Hired Help, Tilly hyposprayed him and hissed her displeasure at him.

“Don’t appear weak, Chris,” she reminded him. Her voice was harsh, but her eyes were sympathetic.

“The inertia dampers are not calibrated properly,” he softly protested when he felt well enough to respond. “So, to review, Federation Ship was acquired, it has organic technology that we need to analyze but the ship is apparently self-aware enough that it has killed several Overseers and various captains. I must have pissed off a Thot or four to get this assignment.”

His mate leaned towards him and whispered, “Don’t let the DeathShip get you.  Convince it that it would be better for it to work with you.”

Left unsaid, was how does one get a Sentient DeathShip to work with him? From what he had reviewed, strange, random accidents had befallen the Captains and the Overseers and he had been ordered to take control of the situation and salvage it somehow. Oh and for added assessment, they had assigned his yeoman… attaché… to the ship while detailing how the last three assistants had died.  

“I’m sure you can Charm the DeathShip, Chris.” Her faith in him was absolute.

“What do you say we just leave this DeathShip for someone else and we practice making babies for a bit?” was his whispered response. His hand brushed hers even as she blushed.

“Chris,” was her hushed response.

“Do you blush everywhere?” Pike whispered. “You’re making me curious. Sylvia, I know this isn’t a love match, but we can make it work, have a little fun, make a little noise. Or maybe a lot of noise.”

Then in a more serious tone, he added, “Remember, I protect you.”

“And I protect you,” she whispered.

The shuttle began to decelerate and Pike took her hands in his.

“Sylvia, be bold. Be brave, be courageous,” he reminded her.

* * *

 

The Shuttle landed in the shuttle bay and Pike, plus the Thot and Tilly walked out to his new command.  There was the sound of a boatswain whistle announcing his arrival and the sound of heels clicked together as his new … team… pulled themselves together for inspection. [Note to self – could the enslaved Prisoner of Wars – highly likely mutineers along with a handful of Breen -- be classified as a team? Or more importantly, could he classify them as HIS Team? Because he was pretty sure that the DeathShip was not TeamPike] What an absolutely sorry lot of misfits they were. Probably half of them could skip shaving for a few weeks without anyone noticing. Yes, a quick view confirmed by a much longer, considering scan made him realize that the Federation’s ship was missing most if not all of its senior personnel. 

The only gray hair was his…

There was also an overwhelming sense of someone… **_something_** watching him. It seemed… full of a raw rage towards him… then swiftly changed to puzzled…then a restrained **_eagerness_**.

Great, the Deathship was probably planning on how to kill him off. No doubt since it had Federation microprocessors it had already detailed several thoroughly painful and seemingly accidental deaths. Then and there, he vowed to follow The Christopher Pike Airlock Rule.

Not standing anywhere near one.

“First thing, who is charge of the whistle?” he questioned. His voice echoed in the stillness of the bay.

A dozen set of eyes shift nervously towards one unfortunate soul. The victim stared straight ahead but Pike noticed that he was perspiring.

“Hello,” Pike stated as he walked up to Victim # 1. “Kill the whistle. I… Can… Not… Stand… it. Understood?”

That comment caused the young man to blanch to a whiter shade of pale which was a horrible contrast to his normal skin color.

“Is that a problem?” Pike asked. “Better speak now before I hear it again.”

“We haven’t figured how to delete the subroutine,” the barely pubescent Fed confessed. “We can’t get it to stop. The ship keeps playing it. Far as I can tell the Communications officer programmed it and he’s the only one that can delete it.”

“Have him delete it,” Pike ordered.

Really, did he have to point out the obvious?

“Sir…” the unlucky soul began and stopped, obvious in his desire to avoid the Pain-Stick Strike he knew was coming. He steeled himself, closed his eyes and waited for it. It would have been impressively brave, if he hadn’t been shaking so fiercely that Pike would have needed to focus on actually hitting him.

“Is he dead? Have him delete it, or have him talk to me.”

The young man took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I don’t read head shakes. What are you not telling me?”  Pike asked.

“Commander DelRosso … he’s Glitched, Sir.”

The mention of DelRosso made the enslaved portion of Team Anybody but Pike react, Chris noted. Hackles were raised, and they were protective and **_angry_**.  Ok, they were really and truly pissed about whatever happened to DelRosso and even though he had classified the crew as witless sheep, they were angry sheep.  He needed to find out what happened, who did it and not repeat it.

“Glitched? Speak English,” snapped Pike.

“Commander was connected to the interface, Sir. There was a spike, and…as far as we can tell, it blew his brain apart. I’ve tried to disconnect him from the matrix so… but the ship won’t let me. She cut life support down to bare minimum the only time I attempted it,” he explained. “Physically, he’s on the ship, but mentally, he’s Glitched.”

Try as he might, no matter how hard, Christopher Pike could not fathom a definition for what “Glitched” meant.

“What’s your name?” he intently.  

The young man appeared to debate the life expectancy of lying but thought better of it, “Nirav Singh, Sir.”

“Singh, you’re coming with me on my tour of the ship. You will point out the people I need to know, is that understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Pike saw someone minutely relax. He snapped his fingers and pointed at her. “You, too.”

* * *

 

By the fourth corridor and what had to be the nineteenth version of the whistle being blasted at increasingly ear-piercing volumes, Pike was no longer amused with the boatswain whistle. He stopped in midstride and his collection of misfits nearly collided into him.

“That is the absolute worst warning alarm system ever,” he informed the children.  “Because I can hear it. Are you telling me that all the various Thots and Captains before me didn’t hear that?”

“The helmets, Sir,” Tilly inserted. “The tonality pitch of the whistle.”

Like he feared, the whistle stopped when he entered the engineering section. The awareness seemed now to be rather amused and pleased with itself which made Pike very uneasy.

**_I’m playing with you, Pike. You’re gonna crack like an egg when I sound that whistle every 15 minutes when you’re trying to sleep._ **

“I haven’t seen that warp configuration before,” Pike whispered to Tilly. “What can you tell me?”

“I’ll need the specs, but it may have been supported by the human interface. Did you notice the lights seemed to get brighter wherever you were?” she murmured back.

Why yes, it seemed the ship was keeping him in its sights.  It had a big red bullseye centered right in the middle of his forehead and it took all of his power not to scratch there.

“You mean Tinkerbell?” Pike quipped. He turned serious, “I’ll meet with the bridge crew, take the ship for a test drive. You find out what you can by being you.”

“Yes, Sir.”

* * *

 

When he stepped on the bridge, the boatswain whistle sounded.

 _Loudly_.

With an extra flourish that sounded like a mad man’s chortle.

Singh looked ready to piss his pants and the various other ‘senior’ members of the team had instinctively cleared a space around the unlucky soul as they knew someone’s Death was Imminent.

**_Too bad, So Sad, Nice knowing you, Nirav. But so glad it’s not me!_ **

Pike ignored the whistle for now, intent on viewing his new command.

Bridge crew seemed even younger than the rest of the crew, and they stank of terror and distrust. For a moment, he was overwhelmed by the feeling of familiarity as though he had been on the circular bridge before. Doubtful, as he’d remember such a desolate area. Alarms were blinking and there was a heavily overlay of smoke.

He gingerly positioned himself in the captain’s seat, hoped it was coffee not body fluids on the fabric and smiled. The effect of his smile was to cause everyone to step back not one but two whole steps. 

“Now crew, for our first day together, I would like to put this ship through its paces.  I want to know what it can do, so Roll call, bridge.” Silence, so Pike announced, “Starting with me, Christopher Pike, your new captain. Helm?”

“Ylsa,” was the Deltan helmsman’s whispered response. That done, Pike pointed to each person on the bridge until he came to a large, silent, sitting figure. The bearded man was heavily grey and wore integrated display glasses but his blank eyes were looking at a horizon only he could see.

“And you are?” Pike questioned, which earned him no answer. Whoever he was, he wore the rank of a Commander and was the first silver haired soul he had seen on the ship with the exception of one Christopher Pike.

“That is the Glitch,” the Thot informed him.

Pike nodded once and pondered why DelRosso was on the bridge instead of say, Sick Bay? He was rather surprised that the Breen hadn’t spaced him, in fact. Oh, wait he was linked to the computer system, somehow?

“Ok, Ylsa, please take us one light year at one quarter impulse, please.” He rattled off names, what he needed them to do, and then to be flippant, he added, “DelRosso, please continue on with whatever you’re doing.”

DelRosso then stated in a deep voice that sounded very rusty from lack of use, “ ** _Acknowledged_**. Glitch.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from the crew and Christopher Pike wondered what exactly he had done. What monster had he just unknowingly unleashed and who the hell he had pissed off for this assignment?

“The inertia dampers are off synch,” Pike informed Singh as he could feel it. “Tilly, can you have engineering look into that please? Let’s take it to warp one, people.”

“Glitch,” stated DelRosso.  His voice was emotionless, but the announcement caused a quiet buzz among the bridge crew.

The ship began to shake as it took up speed. Pike noticed that the engines’ hum sounded strained as though they were struggling. Not a good sign and he knew Tilly was investigating it. Thank God, she was there.

“Glitch,” repeated DelRosso.

“Sir, we need to drop out of warp,” Singh urgently stated. He was radiating sincerity and a deep concern for his personal safety which made Pike uneasy. Plus, the ship sounded wrong to his experienced ears as though the engine was in trouble.  “We’re Glitching, Sir.”

“I see no abnormal readings,” the Thot stated as he peered at a console. “Go to Warp 2.”

 “Glitch,” enunciated DelRosso.  Then the Oracle Cassandra DelRosso's volume increase as though annoyed that her glitchy predictions were being ignored, “ ** _Glitch_**.”

The helmsman hit the comm and announced, “Engineering, this is the bridge. We have a level 5 Glitch. I say again, we are at level 5. Please advise, are you seeing anything to explain the alert?”

What happened next occurred so quickly that Pike wasn’t sure he remembered it correctly. The Thot backhanded the Deltan hard enough that she hit her head on the console with a sickening thud. She then spilled bonelessly onto the floor. At that moment, the ship’s engines seized and stopped and the ship fell out of warp hard with a plummeting sensation.

There was no helmsman thanks to the Thot so Chris launched himself towards the console to regain a stable order. It had been more than a few years, but he was better than no helmsman at all. There was the sound of circuit boards exploding, flashes of light that left him half-blind and stumbling until he could see again and then the Thot was electrocuted where he stood.

There was no doubt in Pike’s mind that the execution had been deliberately done by one very angry DeathShip.

**_Note to self – do not hit the Deltan._ **

The overseer’s body fell hard to the floor but everyone was too focused on regaining control of the ship.

“Casualties, Singh? I need a count,” Pike ordered.  He kept his voice calm as the kids were close to panicking as well, they should. “Engineering, I need a report on what just happened. Medical, I need a team to the bridge. I have at least one dead, one injured here.”

Three hours later, the ship was limping along. They had life support, weapons (he’d have to be pretty desperate to use them after the Warp Drive incident) and everyone was energetically repairing the ship. He spoke to each of the bridge crew and ensured that he complimented each on some behavior or skill that he had noticed during the crisis.

Small baby steps, so they would begin to see that working with him wasn’t a bad idea. They’d never be Team Pike, but at least he might be able to live another day.

Finally, he got to Singh. He gestured towards Singh and then to himself, “Tomorrow, we’re meeting. I need more information regarding this ship. I especially need information on DelRosso because if I had known what a Glitch was, I never would have gone to warp. You need to tell me these things. Is he normally on the bridge?  What happened today? I need explanations and you have my permission to speak freely.”

Singh nodded, and explained. “He’s normally very somnolent. Since you came on board… he’s a little more lucid? It’s not the old DelRosso. Rafe… Rafe was funny as fuck, I mean the whistles drove Tanaka crazy.”

“Tanaka?” Pike softly questioned. It was though he should know the name. 

“The captain of the Janus, Sir.  She died during the jump that left us here, Sir.” Singh said it matter-of-factly but Pike could hear his raw grief.

“You’re very helpful. I appreciate that,” Pike informed him.

“No, sir. I’m **_broken_** ,” admitted a visibly exhausted Singh. “We have to tell you everything you need else we get punished. I don’t know why I’m telling you the obvious, Sir.”

Instinctively, Pike reached for Singh and squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll put you back together again, Singh. I promise.”

Singh’s eyes filled with tears, as he was terrified of what he thought that meant, “Oh, God, no. Anything but that. P-p-please. No. I’ll tell you anything…”

The entire bridge crew was obviously not listening which meant that they were.

“You did a very good job today. You’re exhausted. Dismissed, lieutenant.”

“I’m an ensign, Sir.”

“You’re a lieutenant. I’ve decided that you fit the role, and therefore you are now a lieutenant,” Pike explained.

DelRosso was shuffling off the bridge, so Pike decided that he needed to speak to him. (at him?) He caught the wreckage in the lift, and the lift started automatically.

“DelRosso, thank you for you the warnings. Next time I will heed them,” Pike explained. He stood in front of DelRosso and to his unease, DelRosso tilted his head and peered at him. His eyes appeared to focus on Chris intently and for a moment, there was intelligence in his eyes.

DelRosso appeared quite perplexed and he stepped towards Pike.

Pike stepped back one, two steps until his back was against the lift’s wall.

“Pike?” DelRosso softly questioned, before he touched Pike’s face. His hand shakily traced Pike’s facial tattoos down to his collar bone and DelRosso seemed even more perplexed.

“DelRosso, you’re getting a little too familiar there, even though you know my name.”

For some reason, his unity tattoos were truly confusing DelRosso. The Glitch was staring at them as though he was pondering their existence. 

“I’m Tolerian,” protested Pike. “These tattoos are what we do when we get married. Let’s everyone know we’re no longer available for fun and frolic.  And quickly frankly, only my mate should be touching them. Please stop as she’ll get jealous as there is no one more dangerous than an enraged Tolerian female.”

And probably DeathShip would get pretty pissed and kill him if anything happened to DelRosso. If Tilly didn’t kill him first for getting manhandled.

“ _Human_.” It was the softest whisper, but Pike still heard it.

“No, I’m not. I’m Tolerian. I got picked up by the Breen when I was younger and I’ve worked my way up to where I am,” explained Pike. “Really, why am I having this conversation with a Space Case? I don’t know how much you understand this conversation but…”

In a slow, loud tone, Pike stated, as he pointed at his face for additional emphasis. “No… touch… tattoos? Ok? Ok.”

The lift door opened and the Deltan helmsman was waiting outside the lift. Her face was heavily bruised and she appeared somewhat unsteady on her feet. “Captain,” she murmured. “Commander? Come with me.”

DelRosso’s spark of lucidity was gone, along with his facial fetish, so Ylsa had to cajole the Commander to follow her. One lumbering step after another.

“Do you need help with him? You should be resting as you got hit pretty hard,” he offered.

“I’m fine,” she lied. “It’s better if you don’t help. He doesn’t know you and he can get disturbed. He knows me, so I can handle him. He was a very good man at one time.”

* * *

 

Tilly smiled warmly when Chris arrived at their quarters.

“Hello, Captain. I went to the mess hall and I decided to order a romantic dinner for two,” she explained. The sheer incongruity of it all made him smile “You look tired though. Rough day?”

“I have had quite possibly had the worst first day at work ever. I broke the ship, you may have felt it? The Overseer is dead… and the Breen congratulated me on breaking the record for the shortest duration of an Overseer on the Deathship,” he began even as he sat down at the table. Tilly interrupted before he could begin his well-deserved meal.

“I heard the most interesting gossip about the new ship’s captain. Do you want to hear it?” she asked as she removed the dinner lids with a flourish.

“Algae paste?” Pike protested.

“We have green, there is also red but it’s spicy and for desert, we have purple algae.”

The gagging noise he made wasn’t pretend.

“I know, the replicators haven’t worked in months. I think I can get them working again,” she offered. “It would be a sign of good will on the captain’s part if I can get them working again. I’ll allot sometime tomorrow to it.”

“It has to distribute more than spumoni ice cream,” he teased. “A man cannot live on spumoni ice cream alone.”

She dimpled even as she began to eat her green algae with nothing that resembled even faked Gusto. “I didn’t know you knew that story.”

“I read your records when we first worked together,” he confessed.  “Now what did you hear about the latest doomed captain of the good ship Janus?”

“They think the ship approves of you as she didn’t electrocute you when she killed the Overseer. They said this Glitch character tripped you so you weren’t killed.” She ate slowly for a moment, and then she looked up at him. “I need to thank him.”

“I think you should stay away from him,” Christopher admitted. “He’s… Glitched…”

Yes, that word pretty much described the shattered remains Christopher had met today. Everything about this damn ship was Glitched.

“You’re jealous,” Tilly giggled. “Eat your algae. Thousands of little itty-bitty algae died for your meal.”

“Who should I apologize to?” He quipped. “And yes, I’m a very jealous man. Seriously, stay away from him. There’s something odd about him and I don’t want you around him.”

She agreed, thank God.

“Tell me more about your day,” he requested. “Everything you saw, everything you noticed. What they told you, what they didn’t. I need as much information as you can give me.”

He closed his eyes and let her speak. Or ramble might be the better choice of words. She expostulated about the various issues, the crew members, what was working, what wasn’t and what in her mind was an easy fix and what wasn’t.

At last, she ceased talking and  he opened his eyes.

“I was listening,” he protested.

“I was just thinking, we could try out the captain’s bed,” she softly offered.

He leaned forward, and dimpled. “It’s a big step and one we will only do if you’re ready.”

“I want it,” she confessed. “This entire ship scares me. The entire situation doesn’t feel right. I just want… to be bold, to be brave… to be courageous for once.”

He held out his hand to her and she entwined her fingers with his.

“I’d be delighted,” he assured her.

* * *

 

The good mutineers of the USS Janus met in the Commander’s room.  DelRosso was sitting quietly and he briefly smiled when Ylsa gave him tea through a syringe. It would have surprised most of the Janus’ survivors to know that DelRosso actually wasn’t status asparagus.  Actually, to be honest, that fact sometimes really surprised DelRosso.

“You look exhausted, Commander,” she gently chided.

“Am,’ he admitted. His monotone speech was slurred and hard to understand. “Busy rewriting command subroutines. Plus an eye out so Janus doesn’t explode. Warp 2 would have blown … damn warp core.”

“You saved the new captain,” was Ylsa’s next question. “Why? He’s one of them.”

Rafe carefully sounded out what he wished to say. “No…Pike’s **_Federation_**. **_Starfleet_**. Breen did something. Knew Pike, he’s **_Pike_**. Just not Pike."

Singh leaned forward and whispered, “Do we have a chance of getting home?”

“Odds … improved,” Rafe admitted. “Tired. Shutting down.’

 

* * *

 

“Telemetry buoy located, Sir,” Rhys quietly stated. “Uploading data.”

“There’s a great deal of debris,” Detmer admitted.

“Debris appears to be the remnants of …”  Joann Owosekun paused and placed her hand over her mouth.  Then she strengthened herself to state, “It’s our shuttle craft, Sir.”

“Understood, is there any signs of our crew members…” Saru paused.

“No, sir,” Owosekun quickly assured him.

“Telemetry buoy shows two ships. They do not match anything currently in the database,” Rhys explained. “They approached the shuttle craft and appeared to have boarded it.”

“We will send the files on so they can be reviewed. Perhaps, it is a First Contact situation,” Saru offered. His fear ganglions knew it to be a lie and so did the crew. “At this time, I will assume that our two missing crew members are together until otherwise determined. I’m sure we can agree that Ensign Tilly is in extremely good hands with Captain Pike.”

He nodded his head once and the crew murmured their agreement, little realizing how true that statement was.

* * *

 

Because it was their first time, Chris took everything very slowly, determining what Sylvia liked and didn’t like by how she reacted.  She loved kissing and being kissed. (Oral Sex had left her speechless, which he shamelessly made a mental note to remember for future use because she did talk a great deal) However, Sylvia was uneasy being undressed and touched by him. They had just finished some very serious kissing and he had attempted some heavy petting but her nervous reaction stopped him. Gently, he pulled away from her.

“You are going to have some serious bed head tomorrow,” he gently teased. “Now, why won’t you let me touch you? Should I stop? Talk to me.”

He focused on rubbing her shoulder because that was an area he was permitted to touch. It took some time, but finally she trusted him enough to speak.

“I… jiggle.” she whispered.

“Sylvia, I adore your curves,” he assured her. “They’re just delicious and I want to explore every inch of them, because I love the way you squirm. And I love those little noises you make.”

“Really?”

“Really. Now I need to prove it to you,” he admitted.  Pike rolled over towards her and they kissed for a bit.  She was squirming and warm and really getting quite bold so he stopped kissing her. The ceasing of his affection earned him a rather fierce glare.

“Now, Tilly, your Captain is requesting… permission… to board.”

He tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t prevent a chuckle from escaping as really, he sounded like truly bad porn. Tilly giggled and then the two of them burst into laughter.

“Shuttle bay… is primed… and wide open, Sir,” she assured him in between bursts of merry laughter. “Feel free to approach.”

When the two of them had finally stopping giggling like a bunch of lunatics, he kissed her. Slowly and carefully until they broke apart.

“Now,” Christopher whispered as he stroked her face. It was a heady experience, how much Sylvia trusted him and he wanted everything to be perfect for her.  “I’m turning control over to you. Guide me in, please, at your speed and comfort.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently i was too selmaky on this. 
> 
> Pike and tilly were captured by the Breen, memories wiped and placed on a captured federation ship. The Breen want the tech but they've been unsuccessful and hope the memory wiped Pike can get the job done. Tilly is being used by the aliens to force Pike to cooperate. 
> 
> She is also being used as a sexual distraction.


	7. 7

Sylvia Tilly was having a wonderful dream.  Erotic, as hell because Captain Dimples repeatedly ravished her until she was incoherent and limp.

Ok, **_ravish_** wasn’t the right word, as he had been sweet and sincere in his intensity rather than violent, and OMYGOD his hands… but …Good God, she had an utterly filthy mind because…she never ever thought about Pike going down on her…. oh dear God.  Her inner vixen was giggling incoherently and even the rarely heard from Little Miss Get Up Early had set the alarm for late. Just in case her subconscious wanted to dream some more about Captain Dimples.

And he was a cuddler.

There was a soft beep and a male voice softly exhaled an expletive. Then in a louder voice, he stated, “Pike here.”

Her inner Tillies began screaming and they clutched the blanket against her chest.

**_THERE WAS A WARM MALE BODY IN HER BED. BLACK ALERT! BLACK ALERT! BLAACCCKKK ALLERTTTTT! ALL TILLIES REPORT TO THE FRONTAL CORTEX! IMMEDIATELY!_ **

“Sir, I’m sorry to disturb you…” It was a lightly accented voice who sounded extremely worried about waking the captain.

“Singh, don’t apologize. What’s happening?”  Pike softly questioned.

**_OMG IT’S CAPTAIN PIKE!_ **

“We have a fire on deck four by astro-hydrolics, sir. I’ve sent the fireteam down to contain, but I thought you’d want to be advised.”

“Be there in five. Pike out,” he stated. Then he rolled towards Tilly. “Sorry, I had really hoped we’d get to enjoy our morning algae together. So, we good?”

She quickly and urgently nodded as she was afraid of exploding in copious amounts of verbal diarrhea and he quirked his crooked smile. With an extremely gentle touch, he traced an index finger down her unification tattoos. “We’ll talk later today. Promise. Unless DeathShip explodes, or a mutiny occurs. I mean, we’re already done electrocution and fire, what else can go wrong?”

He winked at her, and her ovaries exploded.

Figuratively, not literally.

Pike leaned towards her and gave her a quick buzz on her forehead. “Last night was amazing. I hope it was good for you?”

Another head bob which turned into a squeak when she realized that he was absolutely sky clad except for commemorative tattoos.

“Oh my God, You’re **_NAKED!”_** It came out as a screech.

“I took my clothes off last night? You may have been there?” Pike hesitantly teased. “I’m pretty sure you were there.”

Tilly carefully lifted one blanket and then blurted out, “I’m NAKED, TOO!”

She then covered herself with the assorted blankets. Really, she wasn’t trying to steal a peek at Pike but her inner vixen had started screaming, “ ** _OHMYGOD! WE REALLY DID DO THE CAPTAIN!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! THIS IS A BLACK ALERT!”_** and all her inner Tillies were shrieking very loudly. No one was in charge of the Tilly body and everyone was blurting out nonsensical solutions …

“Ok, that sounds like a Hell No,” he softly admitted. His smile faltered as was replaced by a mask of stoicism. “Ok, I’ll go collect my shattered ego and then I’ll go see if the fire was deliberate or what. Sylvia… we obviously need to talk later, so we will.”

* * *

 

Pike acknowledged the crew he knew and those that he didn’t. He kept his face composed and serene as though it was every day there was a fire on the USS Janus. (He had done a quick check – it was a biweekly event. It was the rolling power outages that were daily events.)

“How bad is the fire, Singh?” he questioned. “Any wounded? How many died?”

It had just been that type of day, so naturally, the universe decided to pile more on him.

“One of the Breen, sir.  I’m having Science Officer n’Tral run an analysis but based on what remains of her hands, and her helmet, we believe that she set the fire.” His tone was crisp and professional.

“Why would the Breen want to blow up the ship?” he asked. “My understanding is that they want the technology?”

Singh’s eyes shifted slightly, away from Pike as though looking for guidance from an Angel. Probably a Red Angel as it would color coordinate with the flashing alarms. With no physical or celestial aid imminent, he immediately shut down with a politically correct comment of, “I do not offer opinions or theories, Sir. I will just give you facts.”

That non-answer caused Pike to chuckle as the answer was so familiar to him.

“Are you a Vulcan? No, you don’t have the ears. Were you raised by Vulcans because you sounded like Burnham just now,” Pike asked.

“No…to either… and Burnham? Should I know them?” a confused Singh questioned.

For a far too long moment, Pike pondered who Burnham was and why he had thought of her. It was at the very edge of his mind but when he focused on that thought, it wisped into smoke and dissipated.

“If you’re going to be my Executive officer, I’ll need you to speak your opinion. We’ll work on that, Singh.”  Singh appeared terrified and Pike smiled. It made it even worse, so he needed to remember to **_stop smiling at people_**.  Got them upset as he tried not to think about the young lady in his bed. “Think of it, promoted to Lieutenant and now you’re the XO in two days. Who says there isn’t advancement potential in Star Fleet, hmm?”

“You… know… a great deal about the Federation, it seems,” hesitantly offered Singh. “For a Tolerian, that is.”

“I read,” quipped Pike.

“Oh,” was Singh’s response.

“Singh, Tolerians read, regardless of what you may have heard. We are quite capable of reading. Some of us are even capable of higher math.”

* * *

 

Four hours followed which consisted of reviewing reports, determination of the damage to Janus done by the saboteur and a thankfully succinct overview of the entire Breen conspiracy theory provided by his new XO. Separate factions, which is why the ship was limping around instead of being at a Space Dock where repairs could be done. Toth D’Lest didn’t want the chance of losing his new toy to his brother so that’s why he had a bunch of kids trying to fix the ship. (Plus, D’Lest was too cheap to pay for repairs).

God, he hated politics.

Kid had potential, though he seemed jittery.

“Where’s the crew’s personnel records?” Pike asked at the end of their meeting.

“I don’t know, Sir.”

“I’ll need to learn everyone’s strengths and weaknesses,” Pike explained as he motioned that Singh was excused. “They would be beneficial to review.”

“We have no strengths, Sir. Anyone who had any… is… no longer serving on the ship. If I may be excused, it’s my turn to feed the Commander.” In a very shaky voice, Singh admitted, “He does love his blue algae, Sir. You need to get there early for it, as it goes fast.”

“I’ll take under advisement. Thank you, XO,” Pike dismissed Singh, and then leaned back in chain. D’Lest had been furious about the sabotage and… Pike’s head hurt.

“Urgent Message for Captain Pike,” the voice of the computer stated.

“Play it,” Pike requested. “Please, let it not have anything to do with a torpedo or warp coil breaches.”

Slight pause, and then computer spoke, “Chris, did you hear the one about Neil Armstrong? After his first meal on the moon, he said the food was great but the place lacked atmosphere.”

Long beat and Christopher didn’t bother to hide his grin.

“But his meal sure as hell didn’t compare to Algae d’jour from the replicators, as Chef is serving the Blue today.”

Chris barked a laugh.  It wasn’t that funny, but yet it was.

“Who sent that?” Chris asked. “Was it Tilly?”

He hoped that it was because it would be a positive sign. He had anticipated some post-coital shyness in the morning but the expression on Sylvia’s face had been one of complete horror, as though she had made the biggest mistake of her life. He had tried -- really hard -- to focus on her… yet she had been so quiet afterwards… he thought she would have been chattier (if that even possible).

“Sent what, Sir?” The computer’s voice seemed puzzled which meant he was tired. Computers do not have emotions though sometimes he thought the Enterprise had a bit of an attitude. (But never the less, he loved her and her bitchy attitude).

“The message you just gave me,” Chris explained. “Who sent it?”

“I do not have any records of a message for you, Sir.”

“You just read me one with a really bad joke,” protested Chris. “Neil Armstrong on the moon bad. Please review your logs.”

“Reviewing.” Long pause and then the computer stated. “I have no record of any messages for you. I will perform preventative maintenance on my message center.”

 “While you’re doing that, I’d like to see the personnel records of the crew. I’m rather interested in the former Executive team as they seem to have come down with a serious case of not being here.”

“I will need to scan your retina to confirm your authorization. Please stand by,” the voice continued.

The computer scanned both of his eyes twice and then after a noticeable pause, the voice stated, “Access granted to Captain Christopher Pike.”

“Thank you. May I can call you Janus?” Pike questioned.

“If you would like,” was her indifferent reply.

“Janus, please query your archives for any individual with the name of Burnham. Might be first, middle, clan or caste. Send the report to my quarters.  For now, I want the files on the former Federation Executive team.”

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly pulled the covers down after she heard Pike leave the room. He had quickly dressed in the dark and had closed the door to the rest of their quarters so she wouldn’t be disturbed by the light.

“You wanted it; you got it repeatedly and then you had to fuck it up,” she cursed at herself.  With a savage gesture, she wiped her burning eyes. “Why are you such a fucking idiot, Tilly?”

She ugly cried for a bit while she clutched his pillow. By the time she was done, she had a horrible headache and his pillow was quite soggy.

 ** _Girls, we’ve got to fix this and fix it quickly_**. **_Chop, chop. Get up, Tilly!_**  Her Inner Vixen had taken command of all the various Inner Tillies and she was debriefing them. (Oops, bad word choice there).

 ** _We have a Code No Dimple alert. Did you see him when he left?  There were no dimples on his face, and there were… no… dimples… on… his… rear._**  The Inner Vixen was wearing black leather and yes, she was smacking her hand with a riding crop to accentuate her words.

 ** _He has them there?_**  Gasped the Early Morning Tilly.

 ** _He has very low body fat,_** offered Tilly the Brainiac who was wearing glasses and clutching her teddy bear. **_Don’t you remember hanging on to all that lean muscle mass during the grand finale? The one with the FIREWORKS? HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE?_**

The assortment of Inner Tillies nodded their heads and several licked their lips.

**_FOCUS FOCUS! Girls… No… Ladies, we need to fix this issue so we need to stay focused.  What can we do for Captain Pike to make him happy with us?  I’m not talking Chris, I’m talking The CAPTAIN._ **

“Fix the warp core,” offered Tilly. “I’ve got some ideas.”

**_Something we can possibly do today. Something that will make the crew happy. A crew that has been eating Algae for the last six months plus, breakfast, lunch and dinner with the occasional algae pie for dessert? What will make them loyal to our Captain Dimples, Ladies?_ **

Silence.

**_REAL FOOD! We’re fixing the replicators! Feet on the floor, Tilly! It’s Spumoni Ice Cream for everyone this evening!_ **

**_With extra whipped cream, ladies!_ **

* * *

 

Paul Stamets forced a smile when he saw Michael Burnham in the corridor. “Any news on our lost sheep?” he questioned in a positive tone. However, his eyes were tired and he appeared careworn as he wasn’t sleeping.

“We’re following the warp signals,” she advised him. “Command has reviewed the information and the Vulcans believe that they were intercepted by the Breen.”

“Any chance they wanted just a meet and greet? And they lost track of time?” Paul quipped. “Maybe they’ve a planetary holiday our friends are enduring right now.”

“They’re quite … aggressive…” Michael slowly admitted, but she regretted it when she saw Paul’s reaction. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” He glibly lied.

She arched one eyebrow and the engineer shook his head. “With Hugh and now this, I’m…. But I keep reminding myself that Tilly is with the Captain.  Compared to our previous Captain, he seems… **_sane_** ,” offered Paul. “I hear that’s always a plus when being kidnapped.”

“He’s protective,” offered Michael.

“Empathetic also, so… I just have to reminding myself of that. He’s also… patient with her,” Paul added.  “Remember when he first came on, and he pretended that she broke his pinky? Which, thanks to Tilly, we all know now, is a very unauthoritative finger.”

Michael smiled and nodded her head. “It was… rather funny as she was being Tilly, one hundred percent Tilly and he just smiled at her and let her go on.”

Stamets nodded his head and forced himself to smile. “I’ve seen the videos.”

* * *

 

Pike’s stomach reminded him that it was long past time to eat. It didn’t seem to realize that all that it would left to attempt to swallow would just be brown algae , as the blue, green and red algae were probably long gone.

To his surprise, there was a line going into the Mess hall. The normally sullen crew was chatting loudly and people who were leaving the Mess hall appeared… happy. A couple of the brave souls even answered his greetings. When he saw a smiling Lt. Nirav Singh, he realized that he had interrupted the **_Let’s Kill Captain Pike meeting_** , because for no other reason would the Federation team be that happy.

Not after he had watched the cold-blooded execution of the Janus’ Senior Officer by the Breen except for DelRosso as his mind had blown out during a dataspike. Breen had declared him pretty much as good as dead and hadn't wanted to waste the charge.  No wonder Singh was as jumpy as he was.

“Singh.” His voice stopped his new Executive Office cold and the boy's smile disappeared. “I am slightly concerned. Is that a smile?  Has the algae special for this evening been enhanced by psychotropic spores?”

Singh relaxed and laughed.

“No algae. I had chicken and rosewater biryani, Sir.  Like my granny used to make.” Lt. Singh leaned towards Pike and confessed, “I did not wish to tell …. The Tilly… that spumoni ice cream does not go well with it, but she insisted.  The Tilly… advised us that you ordered the replicators fixed first thing… and the crew is grateful, Sir.”

Pike nodded his head, made a dry comment about man not living on algae alone and then questioned, “The Tilly?”

“Pardon, is that not the proper term for her? I thought that was the proper address for a Tolerian Captain’s …,” Singh paused and then added a faint, “Consociate?”

“Wife,” Pike inserted in a flat tone. “She’s not my whore, and I will kill anyone who even thinks it.”

Singh the Scared was back, as he stepped away from Pike.

“No, Sir, we would not think that. We just don’t have a great deal of familiarity with your culture, Sir. Commander DelRosso had a tour with a Tolerian ship before he was on the… Enterprise… but he is not able to answer any questions, so forgive us our unintentional errors.”

“We’ll see,” was all Pike conceded. “Now, I’m pulling rank, and jumping the line.”

* * *

 

Ensign Tilly found herself the most popular woman on the ship, what with fixing the replicators. Plus, she was now the head of very own Science Squad who were anxiously awaiting her approving signoff to that day’s assignment.

“You need to correct the angle velocity,” she informed the head engineer who was barely her age. “If we had the proper clamp, we would do it easy-peasy, but we don’t. So tomorrow you and I are going to talk to our friends in maintenance and see what they can do for you. You may need to flirt with the lead as I think he likes you.”

She had just grabbed the next PADD when her Science Squad stood up.

“At ease,” ordered Captain Pike. “I’d like to borrow Tilly for a while. Unless there’s anything urgent?”

“No, Sir, there isn’t,” her squad admitted.

“Then I hear that there’s still Spumoni ice cream available,” he suggested which her Squad took as an immediate dismissal. Naturally, they abandoned her for ice cream.

“I’m planning on eating my dinner in our quarters. Join me?” he asked. His tone was soft and questioning, not a command, but an appeal.

She nodded even as she nervously played with her hair.

“I need to apologize for this morning,” she whispered. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him.

“No need,” he whispered. “But let’s get back to our quarters. Thank you for fixing the replicators, I think everyone is quite happy with you. I hear even Captain Hardass is happy?”’

“Really?” Tilly whispered. Her face broke into a wide smile. “He’s happy?”

He nodded his head. “Rumor has it that he’s delighted.”

* * *

 

They returned to their quarters and he motioned for her to sit down.  He placed his tray down and began to eat slowly and methodically.  There was a brief pause when she was informed that it was the best mole sauce he had in years and then a long span of silence until he finished eating.

“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight,” he began even while she blurted out, “I need to explain why I acted the way I did this morning.  I do, so let me just explain…. Please.”

The verbal onslaught began, she explained that she had been crushing on him since the first time she had met him, and that he had always been nice to her and… she continued talking until she finally confessed how she had been having sexual fantasies about him, so when she had woken up after sleeping VERY soundly thanks to him, she had thought she had dreamed everything until she realized he was actually there, and what she thought was a dream, wasn’t because it was even better than her fantasies had been, but she had worried that it hadn’t been good for HIM because she wasn’t as experienced as he was  and he had spent all that time on her, and so she had freaked out.

Even her various Inner Tillies were confused by her eruptive expostulation.

 ** _She did mention it was the Best Sex of our Lives, right?  Just asking for a friend?_**  Her inner vixen queried. **_I’m not sure! I couldn’t keep up with the words per microsecond! CAN SOMEONE ANSWER ME PLEASE?_**

Pike just stared at her, and there was obvious amusement in his eyes.

“Do me a favor, I want you to breathe slowly and deeply for the next two – three minutes so I can try to comprehend what you just said.” He gestured at her with his index finger and admitted that he might need additional time.

After six minutes of silence, Christopher then spoke in a very serious tone. “So, you admit to having sexual fantasies about me? Care to provide any more details? Are you taking advantage of me, Sylvia? I have to remind you that I am rather innocent in carnal matters as I was raised the son of a preacher.”

Sylvia looked up and realized that Christopher was struggling to keep a straight face. “You’re laughing?”

Her exasperation caused him to chuckle.

“Yes, guilty. I mean, after a man reaches forty and goes salt and pepper, you’re usually not the object of anyone’s fantasies. Sexual or otherwise.” That droll comment earned her a wink and facial dimples so her Inner Tillies did a High Five.

“It’s very flattering,” was his soft admission.

“Please, even Michael thought you were hot and she was raised by Vulcans,” Tilly retorted.

“Burnham… thought that?” Pike questioned. His voice sounded odd and he appeared confused.

Tilly thought for a moment. “I think? I can’t really remember if she told me her last name. That’s kinda odd, isn’t it?”

She laughed nervously and to her surprise, Chris took her hand in his. “Go to sleep, you’re exhausted.  I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”

Tilly collapsed inwardly, and Chris noticed. “Talk to me, but slowly,” he requested.

“I just feel like something’s wrong,” Tilly confessed. “Can we just share the bed? I mean, platonically? Maybe… you could hold me? If it’s not asking too much?”

“Of course,” he assured her.

* * *

 

They were lying entwined in their bed, FULLY CLOTHED, and her head was resting on his chest.  Chris was gently playing with her hair, and he finally spoke, “Hey, someone sent me a joke today. Want to hear it? It’s really bad.”

“Sure,” she whispered.

“Did you hear the one about Neil Armstrong? After his first meal on the moon, he said the food was great but the place lacked atmosphere.” Chris chuckled but Tilly did not react.

“I don’t get it,” she drowsily admitted. “I do, but I don’t. Who’s Armstrong?”

“He was the first Human to land on their moon,” he explained.

“How do you know that?” Tilly questioned.

“I… don’t …know,” Chris confessed.

“So… who sent you that joke?” yawned Tilly.

“I… don’t know… It seems it was a glitch… in the messaging system. There wasn’t any envelope information.”

“Glitch, now that is a word is being thrown about a great deal lately,” Tilly murmured as she fell asleep.

 _We just don’t have a great deal of familiarity with your culture, Sir. Commander DelRosso had a tour with a Tolerian ship before he was on the… Enterprise…_ _but he is not able to answer any questions, so forgive us our unintentional errors._

_Enterprise?_

_Enterprise?_

_I should know that name because I do know that name. I remember thinking about her computer and…her bitchy attitude at times._

_DelRosso thought I was human._

_Were we on the Enterprise together?_

_What the hell is happening?_

_I have to protect Tilly…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently i was too selmaky on this.
> 
> Pike and tilly were captured by the Breen, memories wiped and placed on a captured federation ship. The Breen want the tech but they've been unsuccessful and hope the memory wiped Pike can get the job done. Tilly is being used by the aliens to force Pike to cooperate. She is also being used as a sexual distraction.


	8. Chapter 8

“Morning,” Chris rumbled when she woke. He was gently rubbing her back in concentric circles and she smiled.

“Feels nice,” she mumbled, as all her various Tillies were quite happy to be snuggling. Even her Inner Vixen had thankfully shut up.  She always ran a little on the chilly side and cuddling Chris was like having her own personal heated body pillow.

“We good?” he softly questioned. The murmured response sounded like yes, so he smiled.  “I need to get up as Captains can’t sleep in.”

“You didn’t sleep last night,” she protested.

“Side effect of being a Captain – Chronic insomnia. I didn’t keep you up, did I?”

“No. I had some really weird dreams about mushroom pizzas singing Kasseelian opera and when I woke from that, I could tell you weren’t sleeping.”  Sylvia sat up and stretched. When she saw that Chris was smiling, she loudly groaned, “It’s the hair, isn’t it?”

There was a noble but failed attempt at patting down her hair.

“Well, originally it was about the nightmare regarding opera singing fungi, but now that you mentioned your hair... it’s an intelligent life-form,” he admitted with a chuckle. “I hope it’s benevolent.”

“It’s possessed by the devil,” Tilly confessed. “What are your plans for today?”

“Staying alive until lunch.” Thanks to years of finely-honed reflexes, Pike easily avoided the pillow that she threw at him. “No, seriously, trying to find the crew manifest. I don’t know how many Feds are on this ship, let alone how many Breen and their positions. None of the Feds trust me, though fixing the replicators was a positive step. Plus, they’re sending another Overseer today to replace Thot Sparky.”

“Sparky?” Tilly struggled not to giggle, but failed. “Sparky?”

“He most assuredly sparked,” Pike informed her, complete with explosive hand gesture.

Sylvia Tilly decided it was time for put both feet on the floor. “I’ll get your coffee and breakfast ready, you take a sonic.”

* * *

 

He had sonic-ed, changed into his uniform and had taken his first sip of coffee when he was chimed.  Tilly was in the shower so he was slowly drinking his coffee so they could chat before he went on the bridge. As Captain, he permitted himself no informalities with Tilly when they were on duty.

“Message for Captain Pike,” the computer stated.

“Who is it from?” he questioned. It was already starting off as one of those days.

“Unknown.” The female voice informed him.

Goddamn it, not this again. 

“Is it someone on the ship, Janus?”  was his prompt.

“Unknown.” The voice repeated.  “I will…

“I know, I know… you will rebuild your message center after you deliver the message. What’s the message?” he asked.

Janus stated, “Copernicus once spent all night wondering how the sun seems to rise every morning. Then, it dawned on him.”

“Oh, good God, I’m on the astrophysicists' bad joke message list and there’s no way to unsubscribe,” growled Pike. “Can you make these anonymous messages **_useful_**? I might be willing to listen to the next one, Janus.”

Silence.

Distorted voice… voices…  male… female… then spoke, “Useful anonymous message number one. Queries regarding a certain Vulcan Federation mutineer who started the Federation-Klingon War are rather life-threatening in this sector. Pike.”

“Who is this?” Pike asked.  “You must be a Fed. Singh? No, it’s not him. Singh is scared to breathe too loudly after Former First Officer Emerson’s head landed in his lap.”

That viewing had given Pike nightmares, to see how the shell-shocked Singh had mentally collapsed when Emerson had been executed. Made him feel like a universal-sized dick because of how he had harangued the young officer regarding the boatswain whistle.

Silence.

“Who are you?” repeated Pike. “Why should I trust you?”

“There is no one else…”

“Still no reason to trust you, especially as you’re using a distortion filter on your voice.” Pike didn’t bother to hide his annoyance,

Silence.   Then it spoke once again, “When the ground crumbles beneath one’s feet, one still grabs for the thinnest reed.”

“Very then, **_Reed_**. If you’re going to continue to send me bad astrophysicists' jokes, can you at least make them funny?”

After that, there was no answer.

* * *

 

Tilly thought she heard voices so she waited until she only heard Chris’ voice.

“Hey, I thought I heard other people?”  Tilly asked. She decided to rub Chris’ upper arm as she was feeling… feelings. Sexy feelings.  Plus, it was nicely muscled. Her Captain leaned towards her and they kissed. When they were done, she embraced him and happily murmured.

“That was nice,” he murmured.

“Yes, it was. Now, tell me who the other voice was.”

“Today’s shitty joke was, ‘Copernicus once spent all night wondering how the sun seems to rise every morning. Then, it dawned on him’,” he explained.

Sylvia attempted to keep her face serious, to understand her mate’s annoyance about being harassed by anonymous bad jokes about astrophysics. But she broke out into peals of laughter just because of the disgruntled look on this face.

“That is so bad, it should be a crime,” she agreed.  “Is there anything else to today’s message? You sound more annoyed than even that bad a joke should make you.”

“I had done a search on the name Burnham,” he explained.  “I was advised that she was a Vulcan Federation mutineer who had started the Federation-Klingon War and that asking about her would lead me to a serious case of Coming Down Dead. That helpful advice was given to me by someone using a voice distortion filter which means the joke was prepared but he, she, it, them, were interested in my reaction and decided to respond to my question. Someone’s got enough access to the computer to send anonymous messages to the Captain.”

Sylvia turned serious and she deliberately straightened his shirt. Once he was presentable (But not too much as she didn’t want anyone crushing on her Captain Dimples; especially that female Deltan), she slowly exhaled. “Between Sparky and this, someone’s keeping an eye out for you. I’m racking up a serious list of people I need to thank for keeping you alive.”

“Nothing on this goddamn ship makes sense,” Pike whispered. “Anyone and everyone that might have known something about the Fed systems were systematically executed.  Well, except for that one guy who sometimes shows up for work, makes a cryptic proclamation of an upcoming catastrophe and then zones out for the rest of his shift. I hope he’s not anticipating a good evaluation on his next review.”

Tilly bit her lip and then nodded. “He saved your life and you told me that he tried to warn you that the warp drive wasn’t properly calibrated.  There’s part of him that’s aware of what’s going on and he can’t voice it. To be locked in your own body, unable to speak, to watch this happen to his ship, to his crew, that must be a living hell.  He was hooked up to the computer when it had a data spike, maybe part of him is in the system. Weirder things have happened.”

Her expressive eyes filled with unshed tears. Her unbelievable compassion never failed to surprise him and recharge his weary soul.

“Then why the astrophysics jokes?” Pike asked.

“Maybe someone told him about your Big, Red F in Astrophysics? Maybe he’s accessed your records? If he’s in the system, he might have viewed them to see what type of Tolerian you are. Maybe… maybe you two met in a different life, since he’s slipping beyond this life’s veil to the next, he’s remembering it. I hope you two were friends then.”

“I hope he had a better sense of humor,” Chris admitted with a droll smile.

“Or maybe, just maybe, he’s been keeping an eye on you. He knows how you promised Singh that you’d put him back together again, how you warned the H’rens and the Ak’ched to stay away from that female Deltan. The Feds take care of him, they take turns. Our people would have sent him on to the afterlife, the Breen would have spaced him, but the Feds… they’re taking care of him.  That type of loyalty is bone deep, Chris. Yet who are the two that predominately oversee him? It’s Singh and the Deltan. You’re taking care of his people, who in turn are protecting him so he’s returning the favor. It’s a positive feedback loop, Chris.”

“When the ground crumbles beneath one’s feet, one still grabs for the thinnest reed,” Chris softly quoted.

“I never paid attention in philosophy. Which one of our learned sages said that?” she quipped. “I’m assuming it was before they were executed for treason.”

He slowly exhaled and confessed, “I always feel better after talking to you. How can I ever thank you?”

Sylvia blushed, glanced away from him and then she whispered, “Tonight, show me how to touch you.”

He exhaled a soft protest how she worried too much about that, and she stopped him, “I want to know what you like.”

Chris gently cupped her chin and made her look at him.

As she feared, he said nothing, instead he intently stared at her as though he could read her very soul.  That was the steel that the others saw, not the warmth and laughter that he shared only with her.  Then he bequeathed her that crooked smile of his, the one that she adored, “Is this one of your sexual fantasies regarding a certain mature Captain with more than a bit of grey in his hair?”

She nodded. To her surprise, he grinned (dimples!) even while he **_blushed_** , “I’m just a son of a preacher, you’re going to need to take me in hand….”

“Planning on it,” she cooed.

To her deep, undying amusement, he blushed even more but he was smiling.

“Buttons or zippers?” he quipped. At her look of confusion, he pantomimed unbuttoning his shirt or unzipping it.

“Buttons, lots and lots of buttons,” she decided. Sylvia tilted her head, debated for all of a millisecond, gave him a rather predatory look and shook her head.  “Second thought, screw that. Wear a robe.”

“A robe?” he asked even as she mimicked ripping it off him.

Chris leaned towards her and whispered, “Sylvia Tilly, you are BRAZEN.”

* * *

 

Acting Captain Saru nodded his head in understanding at Burnham’s succinct report.  They were meeting in his office, as Captain Pike’s office had been left undisturbed for his return.  Some may have thought it was a shrine to their most recent Captain, but Saru firmly believed that Captain Pike would return, as would Ensign Tilly.

“I understand that we cannot break the laws of physics, so I recognize that we are no longer able to trace the warp core signature of those two ships. I will inform the crew,” Saru stated. “It will be difficult to do so, but I must be honest with them. I will remind them that the Captain is quite resourceful and is not doubt turning the situation to his advantage.”

“And Ensign Tilly?” Michael asked.

Long pause. Very long pause as though the diplomatic Saru was debating what to say and how. Tilly was quite brilliant but she was a raw talent that needed… refinement. Captain Pike was no doubt having his hands full planning their escape and keeping Tilly under control.

“I will remind them that the Captain is quite resourceful and is no doubt utilizing her considerable skills to his advantage.”

The two long time coworkers, once frenemies, now as close as two souls could be, nodded.

“She was the best theoretical engineer at the Academy,” Michael agreed. “I’m sure her talents are being put to great use in their escape.”

* * *

 

“Well, this is awkward,” Chris admitted, deadpanned.  “And rather disappointing. Such is the life of a Starship Captain.”

He was late, due to the crise de l'heure (personnel matter as one of the Janus Kids was thisclose to cracking from space exhaustion so he had to get her off the ledge and into the SickBay), and Sylvia, who had been taunting him all damn day, was soundly asleep (complete with her cute little snore) in their bed. He undressed quietly and crawled into bed next to her. To his surprise, she rolled towards him, “Hey.”

“Hey,” he whispered back as he rolled towards her. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“No, I was waiting for you.” Deliberately, she put her hand over his heart. “So, what do I do now?”

“You can touch me,” he suggested. An uneasiness flared in her eyes, and he realized anew how young and inexperienced she was.  So, he whispered, “You don’t need to go there first. Let me roll on my back, and you can get comfortable. And anytime you want to stop, we can. Promise.”

Sylvia wasn’t the boldest lover he had ever had, not by far, but her… sweet sincerity lent to this new experience twixt them a startling intimacy. There was no hurry, no fevered frenzy; instead they took breaks from her explorations just to talk and to steal kisses. When at last, they were both blissed out and wearing crazy grins, Sylvia softly whispered, “Was I ok?”

“You were amazing,” he assured her as it was the honest to God’s truth. “Now go to sleep.”

They were drifting off to sleep when the computer chimed.

“This better not be a joke about a Higgs boson particle,” Pike groaned.

Tilly sat up and she was exhibiting a magnificent case of bed head. “I know that joke about the God Particle! Higgs boson walks into a church, and the priest says, 'I'm sorry we don't allow Higgs bosons to come to church.' And the Higgs says, 'But without me, you can't have mass’.”

“Oh God no,” groaned Pike. Then in a louder voice, he ennunicated, “This is Pike.”

Singh spoke, “Captain Pike, this is the Bridge, we have an issue with life support on deck four. I have started evacuating personnel from their quarters at this time.”


	9. Chapter 9

Pike’s feet hit the floor with a thud. “Quick, what do you know about the life support?” he intently questioned as he reached for his uniform pants.

“Well it’s failing on…. Oh my good God, you’re naked,” Sylvia gasped as once again, Christopher Pike was wearing nothing but his unification tattoos.

“It would be really helpful if you could move past that, because gentlemen always take off their pants when they are unifying with their mate,” he suggested, as he put on his pants one leg at a time. His verbal cadence picked up speed, as was his norm when time was of the essence. “Focus, Life support, deck four. Do you think it’s because of the fire we had the other day?”

He was throwing on his shirt when she answered, “No, conduits are based by the Jeffries Tubes. It could be one of two major conjunction points failing which could lead to a cascade of failing life support systems on the other decks. They haven’t been doing much in preventative maintenance on the ship.”

“Do you think anyone on this ship knows anything about their life support system besides failing, bad?” Christopher asked as he finger combed his hair in some semblance of order. “I’ll need you out there, and you’ve got to beat that hair back.”

“It’s bad, I know.” She stayed in bed while she struggled to figure out where her clothes had landed.  

Her inner vixen helpfully announced, **_“Someone’s Bra appears to be on the lightshade RIGHT NEXT TO HER PANTIES! WE WORE THE MATCHING SET WITH THE CUTOUTS LADIES! AND YES! HE REALLY, REALLY LIKED THEM!_** ”

The Very Serious, Soon to be a Star Ship Captain, Tilly announced, “ ** _THIS IS SERIOUS._** **_PEOPLE COULD DIE. GET YOUR GODDAMN UNDIES ON AND GET A MOVE ON! IF WE DIDN’T NEED TO LOCK AND LOAD THE GIRLS, I WOULD TELL YOU JUST TO PUT A SHIRT ON AND GO, GO, GO!_**

 ** _“Captain really likes the girls,”_** cooed a spanking new internal Tilly which earned a series of loud cheers from the various other internal Tillys.

Physical Tilly decided she’d get around to naming her later, but for now she was tentatively VaVaVoom Tilly.

Christopher sighed, “You’ve got to get over your problem of being naked. I’m not looking, get dressed. I need your **_brains_** right now, Sylvia.”

* * *

 

Pike and Tilly arrived on deck four to find a venti-mask wearing Lt. Singh rewiring the console while Ensign Ylsa (what Chris Pike would do a walking, talking, functional senior officer right now wasn’t funny and sure as hell wasn’t legal in all of the known universe) was busy reading from a PADD. She was also wearing a venti-mask as the oxygen level was dropping precipitously on deck four.

“Green light should be lit?” she hopefully asked.

“No,” was the terse reply.

She flicked her fingers on the PADD, and announced, “Go to the power source. You will now power cycle it.”

“You’re turning off the Life Support Systems?” Pike questioned. His voice was muffled as he was also wearing a mask. “Did I hear that correctly?”

“Instructions are that we need to reboot the system, Sir. It should take approximately thirty seconds for the system to come up again on this floor. We have to do it else the entire system will be affected.”

“Let me see these instructions,” snapped Pike.  He held out his hand for the PADD, and the Deltan handed it to him.  To this horror, there wasn’t anything official, like schematics, no… it was a bunch of text.

**_STEP 10. REMOVE AND RESET CHIPSET #9754AC. IT IS RATHER SMALL AND FLUSH AGAINST THE RIGHT COMPARTMENT WALL. YOU MAY REQUIRE PLIERS. PLEASE REMEMBER TO GROUND THEM BEFORE PULLING THE CHIPSET. IT WILL BE QUITE PAINFUL FOR ME IF YOU SHORT OUT THE SYSTEM._ **

**_…done [Ylsa]_ **

**_STEP 11. IS_** **_GREEN LIGHT ON?_**

**_…no [Ylsa]_ **

**_STEP 12. WIGGLE CHIPSET AND CONFIRM THAT IT SECURELY IN BASE. IT STICKS. CHIEF ENGINEER HAD NO TIME TO FIX IT BEFORE HER DEMISE. I HAVE LOGGED PREVENTATIVE MAINTENANCE TICKET #948123 FOR FUTURE REFERENCE.  PLEASE NOTE THAT AT THIS TIME, THE PREVENTATIVE MAINTENANCE TICKET QUEUE HAS BEEN UNTOUCHED FOR SIX MONTHS, THREE WEEKS, EIGHT DAYS, TWO HOURS AND THIRTY-SEVEN SECONDS._ **

**_… done… what if this doesn’t work? [Ylsa]_ **

**_YOU CAN DO THIS, YLSA. I HAVE COMPLETE FAITH IN YOU AND NIRAV. YOU ARE SAVING YOUR FELLOW CREW MEMBERS. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU HAVE RESET THE CHIP PROPERLY. NOW THE GREEN LIGHT SHOULD LIGHT UP IN THIRTY MORE SECONDS._ **

**_… I’m glad you have faith in me. I don’t. [Ylsa]_ **

**_I DO.  I HAVE COMPLETE AND UTTER FAITH IN YOU. REMEMBER - BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOU’RE HALFWAY THERE. TEDDY ROOSEVELT. HE WAS AN EARTHLING WHO RODE A HORSE UP A HILL OR SOMETHING AND IS WELL KNOWN FOR HIS INSPIRATION SAYINGS. I’LL LOOK FOR MORE BY HIM AS WE HAVE FIFTEEN MORE SECONDS FOR THE GREEN LIGHT._ **

**_…._ **

**_HERE’S ONE. THE CREDIT BELONGS TO THE DELTAN WHO IS ACTUALLY ON DECK FOUR, WHOSE FACE IS MARRED BY DUST AND SWEAT AND BLOOD; WHO STRIVES VALIANTLY…_ **

**_… are you taking liberties with that quote? [Ylsa]_ **

**_STEP 13. IS GREEN LIGHT ON?_ **

**_… green light should be lit? [Ylsa]_ **

**_… no [Singh]_ **

**_STEP 14. PLEASE POWER CYCLE LIFE SUPPORT. ALERT CREW OF REQUIRED REBOOT OF LIFE-SUPPORT SYSTEMS.  LIFE SUPPORT BACK UP SYSTEM WILL BOOT QUICKLY ON NONAFFECTED DECKS. DECK FOUR WILL TAKE APPROXIMATELY 30 SECONDS FOR BACKUP TO FIRE._ **

**_CONFIRMING THAT ALL NON-ESSENTIAL PERSONNEL HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM DECK FOUR._ **

**_THERE ARE FOUR PEOPLE CURRENTLY ON THE DECK FOUR. WARNING - CAPTAIN PIKE DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD. HE IS NOT A MORNING PERSON. I WILL NOTE THAT FOR FUTURE REFERENCE._ **

“Who is telling you to reboot life support?” Pike snapped. “Where are these answers coming from?”

**_I AM AN EMERGENCY INTERFACE BETWEEN THE SHIP’S COMPUTER AND ITS SENIOR CREW COMPLEMENT. YOU CHRISTENED ME… TINKER BELL._ **

And yes, Tinker Bell was in bright, flashing letters.

“Doesn’t matter, we need to reboot the system, Captain,” Tilly stated. “Tinker Bell is right.”

**_WE NEED TO PREVENT A CASCADE OF LIFE SUPPORT FAILING ON THE OTHER DECKS._ **

**_PLEASE HURRY, WE ARE ORANGE IN ENGINEERING SO I AM SENDING CREW THERE.  THERE ARE ALSO NUMEROUS ALARMS SOUNDING IN VARIOUS DEPARTMENTS. AT THIS TIME, I AM DISPERSING TEAMS TO INVESTIGATE HOWEVER WE ARE LACKING SUFFICIENT VENTI-MASKS FOR TEAMS TO CROSS DECK FOUR._ **

**_WHILE IT’S A PLEASURE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE OFFICIALLY, CAPTAIN PIKE, I AM NOW IN PROCESS OF AUTO REBOOTING LIFE SUPPORT ON DECK FOUR. I MUST FOCUS ON THAT. I AM LIMITED IN PROCESSING ABILITY._ **

“The ship is instructing you on what repairs need to be made?” Pike asked. “Is it normal for you to speak to Janus to fix the ship?”

**_NO, I AM NOT JANUS. AS I EXPLAINED, I AM TINKER BELL. I AM AN EMERGENCY INTERFACE BETWEEN THE SHIP’S COMPUTER AND ITS SENIOR CREW COMPLIMENT AND HAVE BEEN EMPOWERED TO TAKE EMERGENCY ACTION TO SAVE MY CREW._ **

**_I NOW ANSWER TO… TINKER BELL, CAPTAIN PIKE. PLEASE ADDRESS ME AS SUCH._ **

Tinker Bell was in bold font in lurid multi-colors. Great. The ship’s emergency interface apparently possessed the attitude of a petulant pre-teenager who liked highlighters and wanted a pet unicorn from Uncle Chris. Next thing he’d know, there would a smiley face.

Sorry, Captain Pike would get grumpy faces as Tinker Bell thought he was a meanie.

He was seriously cracking up if he was giving anthropomorphic characteristics to a piece of software.

“Reboot it, Singh!” Tilly snapped.

With a click, the life support turned itself off even while an announcement blared about the reboot. Singh placed his forehead against the bulkhead and began praying very sincerely. Pike was tempted to join him but at the moment, he was pretty irked at whatever higher power decided to put him on DeathShip … oh… sorry… the good ship Tinker Bell, and he knew answers to prayers depended on sincerity and belief.

Both of which he was severely lacking at the moment.

“Tinker Bell has a bit of an attitude, doesn’t she,” Tilly quipped.

Pike just shook his head and asked, “If the life support comes back on deck four in the next minute where are we heading to next?”

Silence.

He then stumbled over his next sentence, “Tinker Bell, can you please advise us where we should go next? Please?”

God, he hated his job.

* * *

Paul Stamets placed his hand on the executive conference table.  It was real and solid, and … comforting… “Real wood, hmm…” he murmured in appreciation. “You don’t see many tables like this on a starship.”

“His grandfather made it,” offered Joann Owosekun.

“I was wondering as the fact that we had managed to get it off the Enterprise and move it to here seemed to mean a great deal to him,” Stamets softly admitted. “Poor Tilly, it was on that list of things Tilly had to do to ‘Make Captain Pike Happy’.”

He made air quotes for added emphasis.

“Yes, that was number 4 on the list.  Bring table over from the Enterprise,” remarked Keyla Detmer. “That was such an ungodly list. I’m still getting a few items on it for when he returns. There’s apparently some sort of gin that Dr. Boyce insisted that we locate.”

Long silence as everyone took their places at the table. Conspicuously empty was the head of the table and no one looked that way. The crew’s physic wound was still fresh from Lorca, and it had been ripped anew by Pike’s disappearance.

Acting Captain Saru joined them and apologized for being late for the meeting that he had called.

A brief roll call confirmed that there were no changes in the previous day’s Search for Pike & Tilly Status Meeting except that the number of Fleet officers who demanded updates or offered assistance was rapidly reaching unmanageable proportions.

“It seems that Captain Pike is very well thought of,” Saru stated. “We are fortunate to have him as our Captain.”

He nodded his head once, and no one, no one could say anything. The team left, leaving just Burnham and Stamets.

“I keep reminding myself that she’s with the Captain. That he is from our universe, that he has demonstrated **_sanity and_** **_rationality…_**  except for the jumping on overloading phasers bit, but I’m marking that an exception….” Stamets began then stopped. “I’m not doing well with this. First Hugh… now …”

Stamets paused before he spoke. “If Captain Pike jumps on phasers to protect little kids he doesn’t even know, he must be taking care of Tilly, right?”

Burnham reached for his hand, and squeezed it. “I am quite sure that he is.”

* * *

 

Six hours later, the last of the alarms had been silenced, Tinker Bell had been verbally praised for a good job so her tone turned purring rather than snarky, and Pike was exhausted.  Tilly also looked like hell, and the two kids Ylsa and Singh looked even worse.

“Ready room, people,” he ordered. “You have to understand that there are no chairs, so feel free to lean on the wall.”

Succinctly, he gave everyone their marching orders once they were in the ready room. Ylsa and Singh were to craft a list of who should be in charge of the various departments so he could vet them, locate some chairs for his ready room and then he laid down the law.

“Singh, Ylsa, you’re off duty  until oh eight hundred tomorrow. Go have fun, go on a date, do something. Just understand the only reason I will see you before then is if Tinker Bell decides to wake up Captain Bligh.”

At their looks of utter confusion, he shook his head, “I’m mixing my metaphors. Both of you have been doing twenty hours plus a day since I showed up. Enough. Go. Bye.”

He waved at them to leave his ready room, and dazed and rather confused they did so.

Sylvia crossed her arms and glared at him. “They’re dating?”

“I’m pretty sure they’re not just dating, they’re **_Bonded_** ,” he admitted. “Could be wrong, but I rather doubt it. So there’s no reason to be jealous, because she’s all his and he’s all hers, and he hasn’t gotten any crazier than anyone else on the ship, so I’m turning a blind eye.”

“You’re such a romantic,” teased Tilly.

Then he pulled her against him, and he murmured, “And for what it is worth, I’m all yours. Though I have to admit that I am rather amused that you’d think a Deltan would be interested in me, gray haired, exhausted Christopher Pike.”

Tilly reached up and fixed one rebellious lock of hair that was out of place. “I can tell you’re tired. Your hair is being mischievous.  And for the record, I adore my gray haired, exhausted Christopher Pike”

To her delight, he leaned his face into her palm. His eyes were closed and he inhaled deeply. “On one hand, I wish you weren’t in this mess. On the other hand, I’m being incredibly selfish as I’m not in this disaster alone. I haven’t been on a ship that had these many catastrophic system failures since…”

He paused, as he couldn’t remember the name of the starship, but he remembered… vividly... an older man who was making him a medicinal cocktail while Pike view the wreckage of his beloved ship.

“I can’t remember when,” he finally admitted.  Chris opened his eyes and shook his head. “I need chairs. I want a table, a nice sturdy, wooden table for my ready room. I like the feel of wood, it’s organic and… robust and durable.”

He winked at her and then added, “So I can perform hands on mentoring and debriefings with you, Tilly in the privacy of my ready room.”

Another wink plus an amused dimple and her inner vixen screamed, “ ** _We don’t need a table, Captain_**!”

He exhaled and shook his head. “I really need schematics of this ship, and I could really use a bottle of gin. But at the moment, I would take any rock gut available on this ship. If I had any idea who the quartermaster is, I’d ask them if they had a stash somewhere. If they don’t have, somebody must be making it.”

“Anyway, the rolling power outage is scheduled within the next hour for our quarters. Can you grab something from the Mess Hall for the two of us and I’ll meet you there? I need to stop by and see how T’Seng is doing. The medics say she should be fine with a couple days of complete rest, but I’d like to check up on her.”

Tilly shook her head and protested, “Chris, she had a panic attack when you complimented her on her ability to read the star charts when the system went down. Do you think visiting her would be a good idea?”

He paused.  When he spoke, he was being so sweetly sincere that Tilly wanted to jump him then and there, just because.

“I need to have these people understand that I’m their captain, and we are working together to get this ship and running. On my old ship, I would have stopped by to check on her, and on this ship, I will do the same.”

Tilly held out her hands in a don’t shoot gesture. “Don’t smile at her. That’s what pushed her over the edge, according to what I heard.”

Pike softly laughed, “So, I should do a straight face like this.”

He demonstrated his serious, non-smiling face and Tilly stepped back an inch or three. “No. No. No. That’s worse than a smile.”

* * *

 

Meanwhile, back with the local insurgents on the USS Janus.

 ** _GOOD JOB TODAY_** , DelRosso informed Singh and Ylsa via a PADD.  **_PROUD OF YOU BOTH._**

“Fortunately, Tinker Bell came along for the ride,” Ylsa admitted. “Couldn’t have done it without you, Sir.”

 ** _I AM AN EMERGENCY INTERFACE_** , DelRosso mimicked before he coughed a soft laugh. ** _I THOUGHT CHRIS WAS ABOUT TO LOSE HIS SHIT WHEN I TOLD HIM TO CALL ME TINKER BELL._**

“He was beginning to seriously twitch when you misquoted Teddy Roosevelt for the fourth time,” Singh admitted.

**_HE USED TO QUOTE TEDDY. I’M TRYING TO SEE IF I CAN SNEAK BENEATH THE BREEN’S CONDITIONING.  THEY FUCKED HIM UP PRETTY GOOD. YOU MENTIONED THE ENTERPRISE TO HIM AND HE DIDN’T REACT._ **

“We’re sorry to bother you, Sir. I know you’re exhausted and need to sleep. The big issue is, Pike is visiting the sick and infirm in Sick Bay. The crew is remarking on that and the fact that he personally escorted T’seng down to Sick Bay yesterday when she had her panic attack.  Mai hysterically sobbed on him, and he sat there with her, trying to calm her down until the medics sedated her,” Ylsa explained.

DelRosso grimaced.

**_DAMN IT, CHRIS IS BEING CHRIS EVEN IF HE DOESN’T KNOW WHO HE IS. WE NEED TO GET THE JANUS’ WARP DRIVE BACK ON LINE AND IT’S NOT HAPPENING IF PIKE GETS HIMSELF KILLED. WE NEED TO SEND HIM A GENTLE REMINDER THAT HE’S BEING WATCHED. HE’S NOT ACTING LIKE A TOLERIAN WARLORD. HE HASN’T ZAPPED ANYONE WITH THE PAIN STICK SINCE HE ARRIVED. THE ONLY CREW HE HAS SENT TO THE SICK BAY WAS BECAUSE HE SMILED AT THEM.  
_ **

Long pause.

**_SEND DEVINS TO HIS QUARTERS – GIVE PIKE THE SHIP SCHEMATICS AND THAT NEXT TO LAST BOTTLE FROM EMERSON’S LIQUOR STASH. IT’S NOT GIN BUT WE DON’T HAVE MUCH IN STOCK. THAT LAST BOTTLE IS FOR WHEN WE’RE BACK AT STAR FLEET._ **

**_I MAY HAVE TO BREAK COVER AND SPEAK TO HIM DIRECTLY._ **

**_I’LL THINK ABOUT IT._ **

**_MEDICS ARE TRYING TO SCAN HIM TO DETERMINE WHAT THE BREEN HAVE USED ON HIM TO BRAINWASH HIM.  AFTER THE TALOSIANS, I THOUGHT PIKE WAS UNBREAKABLE._ **

“And Tilly?” prompted Ylsa.

**_NO IDEA HOW A CADET ON LORCA’S SHIP ENDED UP WITH THE CAPTAIN OF THE ENTERPRISE. MAYBE OLD GABE KILLED HIS CREW AGAIN… BUT THE KID’S HERE TO ENSURE THAT PIKE BEHAVES._ **

* * *

****

After a brief stop in Sick Bay, where he most assuredly did not smile at anyone, Pike was intercepted on the way back to his quarters.

“Devins?” he questioned when he was stopped by a pimply faced kid.

“I was told to deliver this to you, Sir,” the security ensign informed him. Pike was given a PADD and a bottle of very high-quality whiskey which made him very uneasy.

“Who told you to deliver this to me?” Pike asked.

“I just got a message, Sir.  No contact information, but it was waiting for me at the Stores. The bottle and the PADD. I’m giving it to you per my instructions. The Message Center is just buggy as fuck, Sir. Pardon my language.”

“You’re excused,” Pike assured him.  The ensign ran off at a fast pace.

"This is bad," Pike admitted to himself. "Very, very bad."

* * *

 

Sylvia’s smile faltered when Chris entered their quarters. “What’s that?” she asked.

“A friendly warning that my Ready Room has ears and eyes on it,” he explained as he placed the bottle and the PADD on the table. “A very good whiskey as apparently we’re a Gin-Free space ship and I am assuming that the PADD has the ship’s schematics on it. No idea who sent it. Maybe my astrophysics joke buddy did, but he didn't send me a joke today.  I must confess that I didn't miss it at all.”

“I’ll sonic and eat then deal with that.” He then looked at Tilly and asked, “Did you sonic shower yet?”

“No, not yet,” she admitted.

“Care to join me?” he softly asked. “I’ll do your back and if you do mine?”

Tilly just looked at him with those big eyes of hers, and he shook his head. “Never mind, I know you’re not comfortable with being naked in front of me. I just hope that if we decide to have children, you’ll have gotten comfortable with nudity by then. I would like for our physical unifications to take place with the lights on, and maybe the covers off?”

Sylvia turned crimson and looked away from him, which was a very bad sign.

“You want to have kids?” she softly asked. “With me?”

“If you’re interested, I’d love a horde of little red headed girls,” he admitted. “But that’s up to you, as you’d be doing the heavy lifting.”

“Can I have a boy with dark hair and light eyes? With dimples?” she whispered.

The very thought of having a son with Sylvia overwhelmed him, even more than the proverbial horde of little Tillys. He’d be a better, more understanding father than his had been to him, and he couldn’t talk because he could **_see_** their unborn children, the squad of adorable, chatty little Tillys and their little brother.

“You ok?” Sylvia asked. “You’re gotten very quiet.”

“I think I saw our unborn children just now,” he confessed. “Once we’re off the ship of the Damned, we can discuss it further. But for now, I don’t want to risk it, as it would definitely let everyone know that you’re having sex with the Captain.”

“I think they’ve guessed,” Sylvia teasingly admitted.  Then she shyly asked, “Can I keep a towel on in the Sonic?”

“Sure,” he agreed. It would take patience and time for her to be comfortable with physical affection, he realized.

* * *

 

The towel had been removed rather quickly during their shower and before long, he had carefully placed a very naked Sylvia in the middle of their bed. She had one arm positioned to hide her breasts and her other hand was placed as a physical fig leaf of sorts.

“Y-y-you can keep the lights on,” she softly whispered.

She sounded very insecure so he deliberately looked in her eyes.

“Don’t hide from me,” Chris requested as he deliberately stroked her shoulder. It was a safe zone, one that was comfortable with him touching.  “You are so beautiful. Listen to me, please. You are bold, you are brave and you are courageous.  You’re brilliant and I love your crazy red hair. Our children are going to be fucking amazing, Sylvia.”

Sylvia smiled, and agreed, “Yeah, they’re going to be amazing, aren’t they?”

“Universe won’t know what hit it,” was his very soft assurance. He noticed that she was no longer shielding herself, so he continued to tenderly talk to her and reassure her.

“We’ll probably need plenty of baby making practice, won’t we?” she softly asked.

“Yeah, lots and lots of practice as practice makes perfect,” Christopher agreed before they slowly began to kiss.

 


	10. 10

Christopher Pike was wired, and unable to sleep. Next to him, his mate Sylvia was sleeping soundly, so he pulled the covers over her so she wouldn’t be cold. However, he did permit himself a long, appreciative view. He **_was_** rather partial to women with curves and he could pride himself on managing to exhaust a much, much younger woman.

Exhausting Tilly was an ego boost as she was becoming more comfortable with being loud and appreciative. And yes, he even enjoyed how she was becoming a trifle bit _demanding_ in ensuring her physicals needs were met. Hearing her moan, 'Mooorrrre', was a delight. Unlike their first time together when a very timid Tilly had been so quiet that he had kept having to stop and ask her if she liked what he was doing and if it felt good, now at least he had some idea.

However, Chris hadn’t been joking when he had declared chronic insomnia an occupational hazard for a Starship Captain.  There was a PADD that he needed to review plus a bottle of Scotch that he might like to enjoy.

Just a dram, or so. 

Plus, he needed to review his relationship with Tilly to confirm that he kept it emotionally healthy, well, as healthy as it could be considering he was her commanding officer and she was a junior officer under him. (Good God, what a Freudian slip).

First things first, he found some pajama bottoms to wear because while he was working on Sylvia being more comfortable with a naked human body (his), it didn’t mean that he planning on being sky-clad at all times in their quarters. He just wanted Tilly to stop announcing that he was naked when they woke to the latest crisis.

 Really, he didn’t look forward to looking Singh in the eyes if the kid ever caught Tilly screaming “OMYGOD YOU’RE NAKED” during one of their early morning chats.  Ylsa, being a Deltan, would probably appreciate it very much, but not so much Singh.

**_“I’m sorry, Captain, the Warp Core’s Blown to Kingdom come.”_ **

**_“OMYGOD, YOU’RE NAKED, CHRIS! MY EYES! MY EYES! THEY BURN!”_ **

Bad.

Bad.

Very Bad.

But first things first, he needed to remember to say Thank you to his anonymous benefactor as upon reviewing the bottle label, he had determined that it was exceedingly good Scotch, (Phil would have approved… and damn him if he knew who the hell Phil was, only that he was sincerely grateful that and the Scotch weren’t in the same quadrant because there would have been a pitched battle for it, and he wouldn’t have fought fair.) and he decided that he’d have a second glass to savor after the first one went down smooth as silk.

If they decided to poison him, he’d thank them as the Glenmorangie was really outstanding Scotch. Light and citrusy, with a little bit of honey.

“Computer. Message for Reed as follows – ‘Thank you for the Scotch, Reed or should I say ‘Tinker Bell’?”

Computer acknowledged that easily, which confirmed that Reed/Tinker Bell/DelRosso (As Singh, the next likely suspect, seemed to lack the sheer snark required for TinkerBell but anyone who programmed those boatswain whistles to piss off his captain had snark to spare so that pointed to the supposedly nonverbal DelRosso) had been anticipating his response, and was possibly about to zing him with a comment.

“Message for Captain Pike.”

**_Well, hello there, DelRosso. Speak of the Devil and the Commander shall appear, complete with a whiff of brimstone and the twirl of a pitchfork._ **

“Who is it?” Pike asked as he began tapping on another PADD.  Like he didn’t know who it was because the computer voice sounded a bit snarky. When Singh contacted him, it was usually bad news so the computer’s voice held an edge of fear to it.

As in _please, don’t hit me, Dad_.

He had to break the kid of that habit.

**_Break – bad word choice there, Chris._ **

“There is no information on the envelope.” The female voice serenely informed him.

He tapped “RECORD” and stated, “Voice only. Proceed.”

Voice distortion filter again. **_The best way to find out if you can trust someone is by trusting them._**

“Is that a threat?” Chris softly questioned.

**_I’ve saved your life twice already. Don’t make me regret it, Pike. I may regret giving you the Scotch already though._ **

“Very chatty tonight, Tinkerbell,” snarked Pike. “Or should I say Commander DelRosso?”

Burst of deep laughter.  

**_Well, Hansel, you picked up the breadcrumb trail. Care for a visit from The Ghost of Officer Past and Present? The Ghost of Officer Future is yet to be determined._ **

“Why not?” Chris offered. “Just don’t wake Tilly.”

**_I haven’t used the hologram in some time. I wonder if it still works. However, I don’t think Tilly will wake, she’s … exhausted._ **

Chris’s smile was forced and not at all amused at that last comment.

Then, appearing in the chair across from him with a sparkle of fairy dust combined with a whiff of brimstone, was a shadow of a bearded man.  (Mental note to self, you better confirm that nothing was smoldering, as it really did smell like brimstone, Chris) The ghost was wearing the Fed uniform and Pike saw that he was wearing the rank of a Captain. (Naturally) His wavering image was diffused and ambiguous but where his eyes should be were patches of solid black.

Damnit, Chris counted on being able to look into a man’s eyes and judge his worth.

There was a hologram glass in front of his visitor, as though they were two old friends meeting for a drink.

“ ** _Commander_** DelRosso?” Chris stated, stressing Commander.

**_I prefer Captain DelRosso, if you don’t mind, as I am the surviving senior officer of the USS Janus and I have not relinquished command to you or anyone else._ **

“Why should I trust you, **_Rafael_**?”

He wasn’t playing games with rank as there was only one Captain on the Janus.  That was Christopher Pike. So sorry you didn’t get the memo, DelRosso.  There had been a party complete with a band and dancing, and there had even been cake. Yes, **_cakes_** , and Chris pondered about that stray thought because there were no cakes to be found on the Janus.

**_You’ve forgotten your Kautilva, Chris. The space captain who is situated anywhere immediately on the on the captured spaceship is termed the enemy.  The space captain who is likewise situated on the starship, but reporting to the conqueror, is deemed the friend of the conqueror. Unless the original captain deems otherwise. That’s me, in case you’re confused. So Friend or Foe, Chris?_ **

“We’re discussing a military treatise written in Sanskrit?” A disbelieving Pike questioned.  “Because you seem to have taken extensive liberties with the Kautilva.”

**_Fascinating, a rogue Tolerian warlord who recognizes the Kautilva. Who’da thunk it? I had a professor that made me read it in the original Sanskrit. He’d be delighted to know that it has reached this section of space._ **

“I read a lot,” Chris admitted. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend? I don’t think so as the Breen are not my enemy.”

**_Do you really think the Breen are going to let you live after you get this ship functional, Chris? You saw what they did to Emerson. It wasn’t even a clean death, Chris. They hacked him to death. And what your buddies did to Tanaka? I don’t think you want that happening to your… what word should I use? Ah… your… assistant, Chris?_ **

**_They’ll make you watch… while she… begs…  you to kill her._ **

Christopher attempted not to react, but he knew damn well what DelRosso meant. The idea of **_that_** happening to Tilly, to having to watch it, made him very angry.

**_I’m offering a pact of mutual protection. I have eyes and ears everywhere on this ship. I can keep you informed of any pending mutinies or issues with the Breen._ **

“Like the sabotage attempt the other day? Really good job there, Rafe.” Pike didn’t even bother to hide his scorn.

And point to Pike. However, DelRosso easily smiled.

**_I stopped the fire from spreading further. I let it go that far so you’d get a crash course in your bosses and their politics from Nirav. Singh knows his stuff, he’s just too scared to breath at times._ **

“So, what do I get from you to cement our deal, Rafael?”

**_I gave you the Rosetta Stone to the ship.  I’ve saved your life twice, what more do you want from me? You’re not getting another bottle of scotch._ **

“Your ass on the bridge the next time I try the warp engines, **_Captain_** DelRosso. Your warnings would have prevented us from nearly blowing out engineering.”

The figure shook his head.

**_No._ **

**_Absolutely not._ **

**_I risked too much by being there the last time, and I’m risking the lives of my crew right now just to talk to you.  The Breen realize that I can say more than Glitch, I’m dead. You’ll lose any control of the ship then and my crew gets slaughtered._ **

**_No. no. no. Nonnegotiable, I will protect my crew to my very last breath.  I would die for them. Willingly._ **

That last statement earned a grudging respect from Pike.

**_Here’s my conditions. You protect my crew from the Breen as much as you are able. If I give you a suggestion, you will  listen to it as that way I can keep your ass alive long enough to get this ship functional. When I die, you will take care of this crew as though they are your own._ **

“They are my crew.” Pike said that mildly, but inwardly, he wanted to growl that they were his crew.

**_No, they are not. You haven’t earned the right to be their Captain yet.  You can’t just saunter in and expect them to follow you into hell. _ **

And GAME to DelRosso.

“There seems to be a touch of desperation here, Rafe,” Pike pointed out.  “You’ve admitted you’re taking great risks to talk to me, which means you have a very poor poker hand. You’ve given me the schematics and I haven’t agreed to one damn thing.”

**_You forget, I can kill you easily. And they will replace you, and I will kill them. It won’t be the first I’ve killed._ **

“You don’t sound like much of a Fed officer,” spat Chris. “Aren’t they supposed to be honorable? I don’t remember their officers bragging about murder.”

Snort of laughter.

**_Well, one of my former Captains informed me that I was a sorry ass excuse for an officer, so I’m sure he’d agree with you._ **

Wild grin as though DelRoso found that thought very droll.

**_God knows I wish he was here, because he would have pulled a miracle out of his ass. I’m sure he wouldn’t have let half his crew get butchered. He certainly wouldn’t be hiding._ **

**_Think about it. You know how to contact me. I’ll give you 48 hours to decide and a sign of good faith, I’ll protect you during that time. As an added incentive, I’ll fold Tilly into my crew, so they’ll protect her._ **

**_She has gentle hands, as you are well aware. The Janus appreciates her soft touch very much._ **

**_Much like you do._ **

Too deliberate a comment to be anything but a way for DelRosso to see how he’d react when provoked.

**_Ooo, the anger in your eyes, not hidden by your bright smile. Interesting, you really do care about her, don’t you? Odd for a Tolerian as they are usually fickle and capricious in their physical affections, especially between senior officers and their juniors._ **

**_Are you really sure you’re a Tolerian, Chris?_ **

**_Do you ever catch yourself in the mirror and expect to see a different face?_ **

**_Maybe different clothes?_ **

**_Maybe a different color? Yellow, perhaps?_ **

**_DelRosso out._ **

Fade to black.

“If he was ever one of my officers, I’d space him,” growled Pike. “Gladly.”

Tinker Bell had been trying to get a reaction from him. While there had been noticeable barbs thrown as that was required between two Alpha males determining who ranked who, Pike was pretty sure that there had been a quieter attack going on, hidden beneath the noise. And maybe even a third, as DelRosso’s quip about being declared a sorry ass excuse for a Fed officer by his superior was nagging at him.

“ ** _Yellow_**?” was his next question. “Why would I wear **_yellow_**?”

* * *

 

Pike had just settled on the couch with his Scotch and the two PADDs when he realized Tilly was actually awake and in the room.  She was wearing one of his T-shirts and it covered the essentials.

“You weren’t there when I woke so I figured you were busy captaining,” she explained.

“Yes, with a bit of Scotch. Do you drink Scotch?” Christopher asked.

She wrinkled her nose and he smiled. “Good, I don’t have to share it then.”

Tilly was rewarded with a quick grin and dimples which were quickly replaced by his serious captain face.

“You seem… annoyed?” Tilly asked. “Did I wake you with my snoring?”

“No, no, no. I had a chat with Tinker Bell. I wish I could have fed him to that damn alligator.”  He patted the couch next to him, and motioned for her to sit. To her surprise, he guided her so she was sitting between his legs.  When he was satisfied with her positioning, he covered her bare legs with a blanket.

“Who is he? What did you talk about?”

“He’s a Fed, and he seems to be keeping a very close eye on you.” His soft whisper in her ear turned her on so fricking bad that she was dire risk of melting into a big puddle. Her inner vixen was moaning ** _, Take me, take me in a thousand different ways_**.  “Should I be worried?”

“N-n-no,” she whispered while Chris nibbled her ear. “I’m not even sure who he is. Who is he?”

“Not telling,” was his soft retort. “He’s younger than I am.”

“Well, you make up that in experience.” Well, she attempted to say that but he was busy attacking that spot between her neck and her shoulder blade and it came out more of a gasp of pleasure.

 ** _OMG, I’m dying here, people!_**  Brainiac Tilly announced as her eyes were rolled back in her head. **_Don’t try to rescue me. I’m taking one for the team._**

“Do you want to take a look at the ship’s schematics? Or do you want to have a serious talk?” was his next question.

 ** _I want option number three, where you rock my universe,_** moaned Inner Tilly VaVaVoom who was bit of a slut.

 ** _Hey! I resemble that remark,_** protested the Inner Vixen Tilly along with several other inner Tillys.

Her lustful mood departed quickly which made her inner Tillys loudly pout. “We can talk, if you want?”

To her disappointment, his hands stopped wandering. No, they most assuredly weren’t wandering at all!

Then he made her sit next to him! Chris turned to face her and he reached out for her hands. He clasped them with his and he tilted his head to give her a concerned look “You look…. Nervous.”

“You have your serious Captain face on,” Tilly admitted with a giggly laugh. She scrunched her shoulders together and tried to hide her face with her hair.

“When I’m Captain Pike, I’m rather limited. I have only the serious face and the Glare.”

He glared at her and she nervously giggled. Then Chris’ face softened into a smile before he raised her hands to his lips. He buzzed them, then released them.

“Just want to make sure you’re still good with everything.  Because of my age, because of my position, our relationship could turn unhealthy for you. There’s an unequal power balance that I have to acknowledge and of which I have to be hyper aware. Plus, I haven’t had many long-term relationships so we’re in an unchartered section of space now.”

Long pause. “I just want us to be in healthy relationship before we start talking babies again. I really want that horde of little red headed girls with you but I really worry that one day you’ll wake up, hating me for taking advantage of you.”

Tilly began to protest but he gently placed two fingers on her lips. “Don’t make absolute promises that you may not be able to keep. I know that much.”

Quick grin. Then he turned serious. “Just promise me, if I ever make you angry or afraid or uncertain, you tell me. You need to say, ‘Chris, you’re being a fucking asshole’.”

He dimpled, and added, “Just not in front of the crew, please.”

That discussed, Christopher waited for to her to speak. “You’re really quiet,” he confessed. “We good? We bad?”

He waved his hands, and Tilly saw her chance. She grabbed the PADD with the ship’s schematics and announced that she was heading to bed.

“I’m feeling rather Bad,” she admitted. “Very, very bad. I need hands on remediation from my Captain. Immediately and most importantly, **_thoroughly_**.”

To her delight, Chris blushed.

 

 

 

 


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's always darkest before the dawn, or In Selmak's case, stories get darker just before the wrap up.

“I need that PADD,” he futilely protested as Tilly merrily skipped to their bedroom. He groaned in exasperation but he couldn’t help but smile. Tilly made him laugh, he could admit to himself. There had been significant moments of profound depression and anxiety in his life, but since Sylvia, he was finding himself smiling a little bit more… Sylvia was just a cuddly bundle of giddy happiness.  

When they had entered their odd agreement, he had assured Sylvia that she’d call the shots in the private lives to help balance out the power inequality in their public lives. (Within reason, as his mother hadn’t raised any fools).  That meant he wouldn’t order her (in their quarters) to return the device, he’d politely ask, and hope she’d hear the difference.

She took a moment after she entered their room, then peered from the doorway, and gave him a ‘Come Hither’ look. When that failed to move him, she threw his t-shirt at him, which meant she was sky-clad. Chris softly exhaled, wondered plaintively, why he had thought that **_Sylvia_** needed protection when he had proposed this understanding between them. He was the one that needed to be safeguarded as she would break her new toy at this rate.

God help him when she reached her sexual prime. They’d need a defibrillator in the bedroom then.

But oh, what a lovely way to die.

He finished his Scotch, slowly, as it needed to savored, not chugged, and then walked to their bedroom. To his disappointment, Sylvia was already under the covers and curled on her side which meant that he was being punished for dawdling. There was a dim night light on, so he undressed carefully so not to disturb her.

DelRosso’s PADD would have to wait until the morning, Chris was being given his orders by his Commanding officer.

* * *

 

Tilly tried not to smile when she felt a very warm, very masculine body curl up next to hers. Needless to say, she failed. He kissed her on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. She felt… safe and protected… when he was next to her.

“So, who is Tinker Bell?” she teasingly asked as she turned to face him. “Just so I know to avoid him.”

“DelRosso,” Pike admitted. “He’s playing the long game.”

“He wants the ship back?” Tilly asked in alarm. She sat straight up and forgot that she was sky clad until she realized that Chris was admiring the view. It took all her courage not to cover herself, but Chris was sweetly understanding of her body insecurities.

 ** _Plus he loves the girls!_**   Oh dear God, there was another Inner Tilly – this one was oh God, help her, Mistress Sylvia who wanted nothing more than to tie Chris up for a fun filled hour of deep space surveying.  She blushed when she realized that her other inner Tillys were clamoring and yammering to help with the hands-on portion of the erotic deep space exploration.   “But he saved your life twice.”

“You’re blushing,” he questioned.  “I better not ask as I’m sure I’ll get flustered. Me being the son of a preacher and all that. You taking advantage of me, repeatedly.”

She kissed him, and smiled at him. God, she hoped she'd didn't appear as goofy as she felt. "I disagree. You and your Mark 3 Phaser Rifle are the ones taking advantage."

Her flippant comment made his smile disappear.   Chris leaned towards her and asked, "Am I hurting you when we ..." He gestured with his hand and blushed. "I thought we agreed you'd tell me if you were uncomfortable. Not just emotional, but your physical comfort is very important to me. Are you having problems with... size? I can do more foreplay, take more time until you're relaxed or I know some other things that should make you... feel... good. Hey... what's with the teary eyes? Oh God, I am hurting you, aren't I?"

His sincerity made her eyes water even more. 

"No, no. I'm just happy that I'm with you," she admitted. "I mean, if there's anyone I could be stuck with on a DeathShip, I'm just glad it was you."

"Maybe you could be less happy so you don't cry?" Chris requested.

His soft laugh made her smile. Sylvia admitted to herself that she had it so fricking bad for him. But instead she decided to be an adult and focused on the big issue, “So he wants the ship back, and he told you.  Or you figured it out as you’re brilliant.”

She waved her hands to properly express his brilliance.

“Thank you,” Chris smiled. “I think you’re pretty exceptional, too.”

“I need espresso, so I can think this out,” she informed him.

“No, no espresso. No, no, no,” he protested. He waved his hands in futile protest and he looked very alarmed.

“Is that an **_order_**?” Tilly asked, pointedly reminding him of the rules of their Engagement. Rule # 3 was Christopher Pike would leave the Captainship at the door of their quarters every night and pick it up, freshly laundered, in the morning. Or not, as the laundry service on the USS Janus was more than a bit hit or miss.

“No, I just want you to get some sleep before we have to get up in three hours, seventeen minutes and thirteen seconds.”

“Tell me what he said,” she decided. “But first, sit up, legs apart.”

He did, and then she clambered into his lap. Once there, she positioned him so she was comfortable, and yes, she wiggled against him and placed his hands (chastely) just so.

“Tease,” he whispered.

“If I can’t have espresso, I need help concentrating. I find this position helps me concentrate.”

“Really?” was his soft whisper of disbelief which made her giggle. “I’m finding it very… hard… to concentrate.”

“So, tell me what he said, how he said it, and why you’re sure it’s him.”

Chris gave a succinct overview of their conversation, leaving out the fact that Tilly was being used for him to behave.

Meanwhile, his hands were being guided into strategic areas, and like every good ensign, he endeavored to make his captain extremely happy with his detailed focus and practical skills. After delivering a very hands-on detailed assessment, climax and resolution, his captain was exceedingly pleased with him.

“That was a very profound conversation for some guy that’s supposedly Glitched,” she finally stated in a very sleepy voice. “There were like layers upon layers upon layers there, he was pounding you deliberately to get a reaction, while throwing out seemingly stray observations to get under your skin but that one comment about his former captain calling him a sorry excuse for an officer? That was personal, that was most assuredly **_personal_**.”

“Well, most Captains don’t like their Executive team killing people. It’s a mess to clean up, scares the junior officers. Speaking of which, can we somehow quietly confirm that the stain on the captain’s chair is say … coffee, rather than blood or other bodily fluids?” Chris drolly questioned Tilly. For that comment, she swatted him. “Ow! Why do you think that comment was directed towards me?”

“I know you’ve never met the guy before a few days ago, but just the fact that he said it. You said he grinned after he said that.”

“It was a rather feral smile,” Pike admitted. “It seemed to amuse him greatly that he said it to me.”

“Well, if I didn’t know better, I would think that you made that comment to him and it has festered, so he threw it in your face.”

Chris pulled the blanket over her and slowly exhaled. “I’m not a Fed.”

“I know that, but if we… helped them regain control of the ship, get them home… maybe… maybe... they’d give us political asylum. He’s right about the Breen. We’ll never be safe with them. We’ll always be waiting for the knife in the back, or to be forced out of the airlock,” she admitted. “Yet this all seems rushed, as though he doesn’t have time.”

“Or I don’t have time,” admitted Chris.

“He doesn’t have time,” Tilly repeated.

“Ok, he doesn’t have time,” agreed Chris, though he had his doubts.

“Get some sleep,” she insisted. “You get a little maudlin when you’re tired. You can view the PADD in the morning. It’ll make more sense when you’ve had a few hours’ sleep.”

“You’ll explain all the big words to me, right?” Pike asked and then winced as Captain Tilly physically reprimanded him. “Really, was that necessary?”

“Yes, sir, it was…” she yawned. “You told me the real reason why you failed astrophysics. You’re really quite smart even though you do that ‘aw shucks’ façade of yours perfectly.”

“Because my mother died.”

It was a measure of trust in her as there were only a handful that knew the true reason why he had failed the class. When his mother had died, his tense relationship with his father had shattered as their intermediary was gone, and he had just completely been unable to function.  Sylvia was also one of the only three people that knew he could have finagled a D if he had managed to just show up for his final.

She yawned again and was asleep before long. Sylvia had the right idea, he easily agreed, so he quickly fell asleep.

He had maybe gotten two hours sleep, maximum, when he was paged.

“Yes, Singh? Fire, feast or famine,” he asked as tried to disengage from Sylvia who wasn’t having any of that. Well, at least she wasn’t screaming that he was naked, so that was a bonus.

“Coolant leak on three, Sir,” Singh announced.

“Meet you there,” Pike promised. “Who’s the expert on coolant leaks?”

Silence. “I guess… I am?”

That sounded bad. He made a mental note to talk to Singh about tone of voice instilling confidence in listeners. 

“Oh, never mind. I’ll ask Tinker Bell for help. Pike out.” Pike stretched and then found his uniform.  “Pike to DelRosso! Rise and shine, Tinker Bell, we’ve got a coolant leak.”

 _ **I’m the one that reported it, so I’m already working on it, Chris.  I need a set of very agile hands down there though so Singh’s grabbing one of the Medics from Sick Bay.** **Tilly,**_ **_you don’t need to come down for this as it will be a tight fit in the tube. I have a half dozen people or so assembling for this._ **

Sylvia mumbled, “ ** _Yay_** for sleeping in. I like you!”

**_Laughter._ **

**_I like you too, just don’t tell Chris, he’ll get jealous._ **

“You call him Chris?”

**_Sometimes, he rates a rather stern Christopher. He calls me Rafael when he’s extremely annoyed with me, so I guess that is how you Tolerians do things. I’m just trying to be the best possible Emergency Interface between the…_ **

Tilly burst out in merry giggles just because… ** _ The Look_**… on Chris’ face.

“Do not encourage him, Sylvia,” protested Chris. “Please, just… do not.”

“Never, ever, Sir,” she agreed.

* * *

 

“Tilly to Tinker Bell,” Sylvia announced after Chris had left their quarters. She had pulled on some clothes and had tied her hair back so she was quasi-presentable.

**_DelRosso here. I thought Chris was on the way to deck three._ **

“No, I wanted to talk to you, face to face. Is that possible?” she asked.

**_Not yet. Not safe.  Why do you want to talk to me?_ **

“I want to know about this deal between you and Captain Pike. He told me about it but he left a few key issues out.”

**_I’m not sure if I can trust him, let alone you. What’s in it for you?_ **

“I want to keep him alive. You need him alive, as he’ll take care of the crew. He’ll do it better than you as you’re reduced to hiding in shadows.”

The minute she said it, she knew it was the wrong thing to say, that she should have softened the comment into less of an accusation because DelRosso exploded.

 ** _The Breen slaughtered the Janus’ Executive Team_**. **_I hid because someone had to try to save as many of my crew as possible. If I had died, who would have been left to marshal the crew? Singh? T’Seng? Ylsa? Ensigns on their first tour since graduating the academy? While it would have nice to think I’d be able to pull a miracle out of my ass like Chris would have done and saved the day, I’m just not Christopher Pike._**

_**I will not accept character assassinations from Chris Pike’s bed-warmer. You forget who you are, and how precarious your position is. If anything happens to you, the Breen will put Ylsa in his bed to keep him entertained and enthralled.** _

“Wait! I didn’t mean it the way it sounded! I really didn’t! I apologize, I apologize!”

**_I hope you didn’t. I am barely keeping this ship spaceborne and my crew members alive. I have been up for last sixty-two straight hours troubleshooting issues and I admit that I am exhausted and very short fused._ **

**_Pun intended._ **

That soft rejoinder helped Tilly realize that DelRosso was honestly on his last dregs.

“I’m sorry, I’m just scared,” she admitted. “Scared for him, scared for me.”

**_I apologize for my tone and my comments, Tilly. They were quite unkind. I’m not normally like that. I need to rest as I have a wicked headache._ **

**_“_** I know that everyone, everything on the ship thinks I’m Pike’s whore. It’s nothing new,” she admitted with a shaky laugh. “At least… at least… he doesn’t treat me like one.”

She hugged herself, and admitted in a much softer tone, “I don’t think I could handle that.”

**_I highly doubt that Christopher Pike would ever treat you like that._ **

**_I’ll send you an invite for a 1:1 tomorrow. If you can, stop by the Mess Hall, and grab me a piece of ricotta cake. Or a cannoli._ **

**_Or you could get me both._ **

**_DelRosso out._ **

* * *

 

Christopher Pike arrived to find the coolant leak being managed rather well. Singh was detailing instructions to a crew member garbed in white.  She was small in stature humanoid, blue skinned with very long, thin fingers, and she carried herself with a graceful bonelessness that spoke of her flexibility. There were two large security ensigns standing next to an open ceiling panel that had been pried open. Out of the corner of his eyes, Chris identified an engineering cadet who was busy assembling tools and other paraphernalia.

He also had no idea who the doctor was, what race she belonged to or anything else about her.  While he had known most of the medical staff (the grand total of four of them) had disappeared when he had visited T’Seng in Sick Bay, this one had still escaped being tagged n’ bagged n’ ID’d in spite of his numerous ‘spontaneous’ drop ins at Sick Bay.

**_I need to review the crew roster to find out how many people I haven’t met. I don’t even know what race she is or where she’s from. Well, I’ll call her Dr. Blue Sprite for now._ **

Singh trilled a complex warble and then added, “Do you understand the instructions?”

“Understood, Lieutenant,” she agreed in a very musical tone.

When she realized that the Captain was there, she made a very plaintive chirp of terror and damn him for a fool for feeling hurt, she instinctively chameleoned into the wall. So, there was now a Fed uniform with no apparent officer to inhabit it, standing in front of him.  There was a slight blurriness that he assumed was the doctor that was making him queasy.

“Doctor, I can still see your uniform. Can you please phase back in?” He requested. “We need to work on resolving coolant leak and I think they’ll need to see you in order to lift you up to the panel.”

Singh trilled, and made a placating gesture. Pike raised an eyebrow.

“Is that the Doctor’s name?” he dryly questioned. “I’m gonna need some lessons on that.”

“I bit my tongue several times,” confessed Singh with a long-suffering sigh. “And I’m still not getting it correct as I’m missing the triple dipthong click at the end.”

The doctor phased back in, but she was still shifting and flickering.

“I understand that I’m making you nervous, but you’re still flickering. Let’s get the coolant fixed, shall we?” He suggested.

Pike watched Dr. Blue Sprite get monitored, holstered and then hoisted to the ceiling panel by standing on the security guards’ interlocked hands. He then inwardly winced when she agilely clambered into the panel by stepping on a very stoic guard’s head. After her blue tail reached down to take a few supplies from the Engineering ensign, Chris turned to Singh.

“First tour since she graduated?” he asked. “I have to admit that it hurts to look at her bend her body that way. I had three vertebrae threaten to dislocate just now.”

Singh nodded twice.

“Does she normally fade into the background like that?” Chris continued.  “Or is it because I’m here?”

His XO said nothing, which said everything.

“Set up a breakfast meeting with her as I need to develop a working relationship with her,” Chris requested. “You get to sit in.”

“I better warn you then, Sir. Her prehensile tongue is easily two feet long,” Singh explained. “She eats like this.”  He gestured and Pike twitched.

“Thank you for the warning, XO,” Pike dryly stated. “Is she…. Poikilothermic? Should we be putting her in the coolant area?”

“She’s the only one that could fit because we didn’t have time to cut the hull. She’s well aware of the risks, Captain. We have the warming blankets here plus I have the lift commandeered. Anything happens, we can get her to Sick Bay in less than three minutes. They’ve got a room at 45C prepared.”

It actually took them two minutes twenty-six seconds from DelRosso tersely informing them to yank her out to them hitting the Sick Bay warming area, Chris carrying her the entire way. He only left her side when the medics descended upon her and starting cutting off her clothes, exposing slightly lighter blue skin under her uniform while she shivered and quaked as she was hypothermic.

Wait, wait. **_Wait_**.

They were cutting off **_fabric_**.

Where was the Chistorian warming suit?  Why the hell didn’t he recognize her as a Chistorian when he first saw her? How many small blue elflike alien races did you know, Chris? With a two-foot prehensile tongue and a tail that could be used as an additional appendage?

One!

**_ The Chistori!  _ **

Whose home world was a hot, dry heat of 42C.

“Where’s her warming suit? She’s supposed to wearing a warming suit as the Chistorian body temperature is supposed to be at least 45 Celsius at all times. Singh, where is her warming suit?” Pike snapped. “She must be wearing one, as we can barely get the ship to 20 on a good day.”

He hadn’t used **_that_** tone with Singh before and the kid reacted as though he was about to be beaten.  Eyes wide in fear, hunched shoulders and he stepped back from Chris.

“She made the decision to remove it so she could fit better,” explained Singh.

“You better have a **_damn_** good reason why you **_unilaterally_** decided not to inform me of the risk she was taking.”

“I wasn’t aware that a Tolerian was familiar with the unique needs of a Chistorian, Sir. She was given all the pertinent details including the risks, and she thought she could get in and out before anything happened. Her main concern was to seal off the coolant leak to protect the crew.”

“Well, both of you were wrong. If anything happens to her, **_it’s… on …your …head, Singh_**.” Chris spat his vitriol at the younger man because damn it, he was the Captain, he made the hard calls, not some punk kid barely out from the Academy.

Wait, wait, wait, it wasn’t Singh who had made the decision. It had to have been the spider who was connected to all the major parts of the ship.  It was the gigantic technological web that always led back to one man.

God, he hated spiders. Almost as much as he hated DelRosso.

“I understand that, Sir.”

“No, I do not think you fully comprehend the gravity of your lapse in judgement, nor my extreme disappointment in you, Singh.” He kept his voice soft and composed while Singh looked closer and closer to losing it. He was shifting his weight from foot and foot, and he appeared ready to bolt or faint or both.

Fuck, Chris admitted that he was a bastard at times, but he couldn’t survive a crew who refusing to acknowledge that he was the Captain. More importantly, **_Sylvia_** couldn’t survive.  That’s all he could focus on right now, was the need to **_survive_** another day.

“I want a report in fifteen minutes on her condition and I will be kept informed throughout the day. Is that understood?” Chris didn’t bother hiding his anger from the medical team, who quickly agreed.

“Singh, ready room,” he snapped. His face was a thundercloud and his ground eating lope caused the shorter Singh to race to keep up his pace.  The various Janus crew members saw his expression and conveniently disappeared into hallways, turbolifts, stranger’s quarters, just so they didn’t draw his ire upon them.

* * *

 

In his ready room, Pike took the only chair. He focused on calming his anger, because as he kept reminding himself, Singh just was a punk kid wearing an ill-fitting uniform that was too large for him. He felt like he was spinning off in multiple Christopher Pikes and he was struggling to center himself, to calm down. One Christopher was so angry, so unbelievably angry that he desired nothing more than to turn Singh into a lesson for the crew to learn and there was another Pike who was pleading with him to remember that Singh was just a traumatized kid, who was completely out of his depth, doing what he needed to survive.

“How old are you?”  Chris finally asked as he stared at his steepled hands.

“T-t-wenty one, Sir,” Singh admitted.

“How long since you graduated?” was his next soft question.

“I … I… I think it’s seven months, Sir.  I don’t know the exact number of days. D-d-d-do you want me to find out?”

Pike shook his head. “So… you were commanded by… Tanaka for a week or two at the most?”

“Y-Y-e-s-s.”

“Does that excuse you from understanding the proper chain of command?” Pike continued as he stared at his steepled fingers.

“N-n-no.”

“No, **_Sir_** ,” prompted Chris. He slowly exhaled and shook his head and he knew what he had to do. One part of him wildly protested and yelled, **_Chris, don’t do this_** while the other half seemed programmed and emotionally remote. “I’m afraid that I have to make an example of you. I saw potential in you, I promoted you. Dare I say this? I thought we were laying a foundation of possible trust, but I was wrong. I am your captain. Not DelRosso.”

Chris growled, “I want you to say it. Who is your Captain?”

“You are,” whispered Singh.

“I can’t hear you,” he responded. He tapped his ear, “Did you say, ‘DelRosso?’ I think you did. Say it louder, so I can hear you.”

“You are my Captain, Sir!” Singh stated in a much louder tone.

“Scream it so they can hear you on the bridge, lieutenant. Who is your captain?” Pike requested of him.

Singh screamed it at full volume and Chris pursed his lips, tilted his head and nodded in satisfaction.  “Almost sounded like you meant it,” he admitted.

“I did, Sir. I swear, I swear,” an emotionally exhausted Singh protested.

“Tell DelRosso that he better be at the general assembly because I’m sending a message to him, and you’re the messenger,” Chris mildly stated even while Singh pleaded for Chris to believe that he was his Captain. “Stop sniveling, Singh. Be brave, be bold, be courageous.  Once you’re punished, we can work through this. I promised you that I’d put you back together again, first I just have to smooth out a few rough edges.”

The two security guards arrived shortly afterwards and dragged Singh away. He didn’t notice as there seemed to be a hundred thousand Christopher Pikes in his head and they were all screaming.

**_Ok, Chris, you scared him almost into a psychotic breakdown. Now be merciful and remand him to quarters for punishment!_ **

**_No, you can’t do that, Chris.  The Breen are watching you. They don’t trust you because you’re not one of them.  You can’t be nice to the crew, Chris, as they’re out for themselves. They see you as an extension of the Breen, and they’d willingly knife you in the back. Make them fear you, Chris. If they fear you, you’ll be safe and Sylvia will be safe!_ **

**_He’s a fucking kid, Chris!  Don’t do this! He was trying to save the crew and the ship, Chris. The doctor knew the risks and took them. Don’t do this, it’s not who you are!_ **

**_You’re standing on the edge of a cliff, Chris. Either the Breen or the Feds or both are more than willing to watch you fall. When you’re gone, you know what they’ll do to her. You know how the Feds boys look at her, and how they wonder and ponder by what methods an old man like you can satisfy her in bed._ **

**_They’ll take her and they’ll ravage her because you tried to shield her._ **

**_No, DelRosso said that he’d protect her._ **

**_I don’t fucking trust him!_ **

**_Why the hell am I here? This makes no sense! None at all!_ **

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly smiled at a few crew members that she knew, and she wasn’t surprised when no one smiled back. There was some sort of Assembly scheduled in the Mess hall and the mood among the crew was one of quiet unease that was quickly ramping up to widespread apprehension.  The Breen and the Overseer of the Day had even decided to make an appearance and were in one corner of the room, while all the Feds were huddled in the other, leaving a noticeable gap between the two.

Therefore, she stood in between them, to symbolize that she was neutral.

Captain Pike entered the room and Tilly realized that she had never before seen him in such a state. He was tense and agitated but most worrying to her, he was… **_scared_**. The others, fortunately, didn’t know him as well as she did, couldn’t read the telltale signs, so he appeared eerily composed. But Tilly could tell, his fear was in was how he walked, how his posture was picture perfect… and his eyes.

“I called everyone together as there was a matter of insubordination by a junior officer today. It is best to handle it quickly and move on, so we can continue to work on repairing the ship. Bring him in,” Christopher requested.

To her horror, it was Singh. Quiet, mild-mannered Singh, who never looked her directly in her eyes, as he thought it was considered disrespectful among the Tolerian. He didn’t stare at her breasts, but instead a spot somewhere over her shoulder, so she had thought it…quaint.  Always pleasant, always polite, and had always been willing to assist her in a thousand different ways during her adjustment to the ship.  During pillow talk, Chris had even commented that he thought the kid had potential.

Now… now… he was being dragged into the Mess Hall on charges of insubordination.

What the fuck had happened?

The worst part was he didn’t struggle, he just stared straight ahead, though the guards had to keep him upright. The guards brought him up to Christopher… no Captain Pike, and the two men had a brief, quiet conversation.  Well, Christopher talked and Singh just nodded his head and it ended when Pike squeezed Singh’s shoulder.

In **_compassion_**. As though he was deeply disappointed in Singh’s actions.

“Singh’s punishment can be taken by any of his fellow crew members,” Pike explained. “Does anyone volunteer?”

He waited for a bit. To Tilly’s complete lack of surprise, no one jump to volunteer until someone did.

A male stated in a deep, slow voice from the side of the room, “Stand down, Singh. I volunteer.”

“And you are?” Pike asked.

“Rafael Arcangelo DelRosso, Commander. USS Janus. R8456-956-123.”

Singh shook his head in protest and DelRosso softly repeated the order for Singh to stand down.

“Singh, I see that you’re still listening to him,” Pike added to Singh. Then he turned to face DelRosso. “I’m actually rather surprised and impressed that you showed. Maybe that commanding officer of yours that thought you were a lousy excuse for an officer might have been mistaken? Though, I rather doubt it because this is all your mess that I have to clean up.”

DelRosso physically reacted at that comment as Pike had deeply scored.

“Rafael Arcangelo DelRosso, Commander. USS Janus. R8456-956-123,” the Fed slowly and carefully enunciated.

Pike leaned towards DelRosso and whispered very loudly, “I thought you couldn’t talk.”

“Rafael Arcangelo DelRosso, Commander. USS Janus. R8456-956-123,” the Fed repeated.  He shifted his weight so his legs were spread slightly apart and he clasped his hands behind his back.

“The punishment for insubordination is six strikes with what you Fed have affectionately named the pain stick. Are you ready, Commander?” Pike asked.

Head bob even while DelRosso stared at a spot in the wall.

“Oh, most Noble Prince,” DelRosso began to whisper.

“Guess you are,” Pike easily agreed, as he turned off the safety on the rod.

“…of the Angelic Hierarchies, valorous warrior of Almighty God.”

DelRosso screamed and hit the floor with a thud as he was wracked with electricity. He loudly gasped and then he began to speak anew, “and zealous lover of His glory, terror of the rebellious angel…” as he managed to stand up under his own power and face Pike.

“…and love and delight of all the just ones, my beloved Archangel Saint Michael…”

Another shriek of agony and the commander was writhing on the floor.  There was blood dripping his nose and it took longer from him to gain the power to stand. This time, he was unsteady on his feet, but still he faced Pike. The Feds were close to a mass mutiny, Sylvia realized and the Breens were arming themselves. But the Feds didn’t care that they’d be slaughtered…. Because ….  Everything was going to hell.

“…desiring to be numbered among thy devoted servants….” His voice was slower but still he continued to pray.

“I, today offer… and c-c-consecrate myself to thee, and place my … my…”

He was back on the floor again, writhing and he couldn’t seem to find the next words…. “place my… place…my… place… my….” His mouth moved silently and then he closed his eyes as though drawing strength from somewhere deep inside.   “Place my… c-c-ccrew under… thy… most powerful protection.”

Tilly was horrified to realize that DelRosso was making no effort to stand, instead he mouthed… “… succor me in my last struggle…” over and over again. He was gasping for breath and blood was flowing freely from his mouth and nose. 

Oh Christ, she wasn’t sure that DelRosso would survive another strike, and it seemed that DelRosso doubted it also.

She caught Chris’ eyes and he appeared very confused and uncertain as though he had no idea what the hell was happening or his involvement in it.  In response, she looked towards the Breen and the Overseer and his eyes followed. He saw that their weapons were active and trained on the Feds. The heartbreaking confusion in his eyes was replaced by a flare of anger, but still he spoke calmly.

“Stand down, I did not give you an order to arm,” he announced. The Breen hesitated and Pike informed them in a quiet voice, “You saw what I did to him as an example for the Feds. Do you think I won’t do the same for you? Because I know that these works even better on the Breen. Choice is yours, final decision will always be mine. Not the Overseer, but my decision is final as I am the Captain of this ship.”

Pike stared at them and the weapons were disarmed and lowered. Tilly was delighted that she was once  again able to breathe. Thank God. That crisis averted, he glanced at the prone figure in front of him. He swallowed once, twice and then began to snap orders.

“Singh, get DelRosso to Sick Bay.  I’ll want the initial triage and follow up reports on him.  When he’s stabilized, you will report back to the bridge for the remainder of your shift. For now, I am waiving the final three strikes for insubordination, as I believe in rehabilitation.  Do not mistake my benevolence for weakness, as you will not live for long if you make that mistake. Report to your duty stations now. Dismissed.”

* * *

 

Everyone had rightfully fled the scene, even the Breen who were now scared shitless of him.

He focused on deep, calming breaths as he couldn’t fall to pieces. Not now.

“Hey, let’s clean your hands, ok?” Sylvia whispered to him. She took a wipe or three and gently cleaned the blood off his hands. Not off his soul, because it was seared with DelRosso’s blood. “Hey? You ok? You looked…”

He shook his head.

“Talk to me,” she whispered. “You can trust me.”

“I wanted to kill DelRosso,” he softly admitted. “Part of me wanted to kill him, and there was another part of me that was screaming at me to stop.”

“Well, I’m very glad you listened to that part of you. Keep listening to that Chris, please,” Sylvia gave him a sweet smile.

“I didn’t, that’s what is scaring me. I was about to strike him for the fourth time when I had this… **_flash_** ,” he explained. He stopped and nodded before he snapped his fingers. “It was like **_that_**.”

Sylvia squeezed his hands and prompted him to keep talking.

“I was the commanding officer who told him that he was sorry ass excuse of an officer. I expressed that to him, and that appraisal led him directly to this point in time, where I nearly fucking killed him.  I think I’m a Fed, Sylvia.” Long, long pause before he looked away from her. “No. I **_know_** that I’m a Fed and I think you’re one also. I just nearly killed the one person who might know what the fucking hell is going on. I have no idea what is happening here or why we’re here.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

On the good ship Janus.

 

“No. I **_know_** that I’m a Fed and I think you’re one also. I just nearly killed the one person who might know what the fucking hell is going on. I have no idea what is happening here or why we’re here.”  Chris then looked at her, and leaned towards her before he asked, “Do you think I’m crazy? Because I think I might be, or certainly heading that way after running this ship for all of three days. Or is it four days?”

“No,” she said that firmly, with all the conviction in the universe behind her. “I do not think you’re crazy, but right now, right now... you have a crew that’s close to mutinying against the Breen regardless of the fact that they’ll be killed, a ship that is falling apart, and the man who is the walking instruction manual to this ship is in Sick Bay. You need to step carefully, Chris. Very, very carefully. Who’s in command on the bridge right now?”

For a surprise, she seemed to steady him back into being Captain Pike.

“Let me see. The Chief Medical Officer was nearly turned into a popsicle earlier today, Singh’s close to cracking and … fuck… DelRosso said that if they knew he could say more than Glitch, they’d kill him. I just made a huge fucking mistake, Tilly. I need to put security in SickBay. As for the Bridge, go take the Chair. **_Now_**.”

“Me?” she yelped.  Her protest was futile, as the Captain needed her there. Therefore, she would go, regardless of her uneasiness.

“You. I know you **_can_** do it, as you **_have_** to do it.  Once I’m done with Sick Bay, I’ll be there. Sylvia, remember…”

“Be bold… be brave… be courageous,” they stated at the same time.

“I trust you,” Chris informed her. “Now, take command of The Chair. Go! Go! Go!”

* * *

 

 ** _We can do this! We can do this! We can do this!_**  Chanted her inner Tillys as they psyched themselves up to take command back from any interloper.

 ** _No, I’m handling this, girls. Shut the fuck up and let the professional handle this,_** announced a new inner Tilly. Her hair was a stunning shade of rose-gold, straightened and bobbed in a sharp angle. This Tilly wore a black leather outfit with gold ornaments and she was carrying a mark three phaser.  All in all, she meant business.

 ** _THAT HAIR!_** Fangirled one, which earned her a negligent toss of the newest Tilly’s luxurious hair. **_IT’S PERFECT! I WANT THAT HAIR. Why can’t we have THAT hair? WHY do we have THIS HAIR?_**

 ** _There can be but one, and I got it,_** the newest Tilly stated.

 ** _I think I’m in love,_** murmured one very appreciative Inner Tilly.

 ** _I think I’m scared_** , admitted another ** _._**

 ** _I think I’m both_** was the soft confession of the Early Morning Tilly. **_But who are you?_** **_We haven’t met you yet._**

**_I’m Captain Killy. Watch and learn, girls.  I’m gonna go save Captain Dimples and tonight, I promise you, we will have hands on Exploration of our Captain as he will be that appreciative._ **

There was a loud cheer from the various Tillys.

Tilly felt herself being shuttled aside by Captain Killy.

Killy entered the bridge, saw that The Chair was unoccupied, and she deliberately sat down in The Chair of Power.  The Feds weren’t happy with the Captain’s Whore taking The Chair, however Captain Killy wasn’t having any of that shit. Not when her Captain Dimples was in trouble.

She pitied the fool that would try to fuck with her, as she was In Charge.

“While Captain Pike and Lt. Singh are in Sick Bay, he placed me here. If you have a problem with it, may I remind you that you just witnessed how Captain Pike does not take questions about his command decisions lightly. I want a status report on all systems, including engineering. Helm, report.” Killy kept her voice low and controlled and for an added arrogant confidence sure to awe her subordinates, she crossed her legs just her Captain did.

She leaned back into the Command Chair o’ Power and wondered why Chris had never told her how fucking uncomfortable that chair really was.

* * *

 

Christopher Pike walked into a disaster zone in Sick Bay. 

The Blue Doctor, she of the impossible name to pronounce, was standing toe to toe with the Breen Overseer. Or in her case, head to mid-chest of the taller Breen. Meanwhile, DelRosso was actively seizing on the bed. He was a large man, and there were assorted personnel, medical and otherwise, who were just trying to keep him from falling off the bed. Pike decided to pitch in and help as Singh got roundly kicked in the jaw.

“I do not treat your kind, Overseer. You will need to see one of your kind to be treated. That has been the agreement between my staff and yours. I’m really rather busy right now, so leave,” Doctor Blue stated.

The fact that she was wearing overly large fuzzy pajamas did not lessen her ferocity. Though the wooly slippers that looked like little baby sheep almost ruined the affect, Pike had to admit.

He watched in fascination as she utilized her prehensile tongue to slap the Helmet of a Breen who was about to touch one of her monitors. The impact obviously disorientated him as well it should, as it had been a solid thwack that had echoed.

**_Note to self – watch out for her tongue.  In more ways than one._ **

“Don’t touch!” she snapped. “Do NOT touch my monitors!”

“Doctor, Overseer,” Pike interrupted. “I’ll be stationing security here for the next few days. Overseer, she’s correct. The Feds have no familiarity with your unique needs. I’d hate for her to… accidentally… cause you further injury due to her unfamiliarity with your unique needs.”

He smiled.   The Overseer seemed displeased and the Breen who had been bitch-slapped, tongue-slapped, whatever the correct term might be as the ship’s thesaurus had been lost long before he arrived, attempted to straighten their helmet. With a noble but futile attempt at regaining the loss of their species’ dignity, the Breen left the room.

The Blue sprite did a running jump (as she was really quite petite), and jump/scrambled onto the bed.  She crawled her way towards the head of the table and jabbed the seizing DelRosso with not just one, but two hyposprays in both sides of his neck. That done, she did a mini flip and ended up by his head.

The Commander stopped seizing and began to moan. He tried to reach for his head but his hands were being restrained by several personnel.

 “I need that monitor, I need to know what’s happening in his head,” she ordered. “I need an airway.”

“Doc, Commander’s intracranial pressure is rising. I’ve got the drill from engineering. I have the vise also,” said a medic that Chris had met earlier.

“Sterilize them,” the doctor informed the medic.  She then requested a multitude of drugs from another one of her medics and then demanded as much ice as they could find.  “Commander, I’m giving you something so you can sleep.”

His lips moved, and the little Blue Doctor leaned over him. She tilted her head so she could hear him.  Her face was rather expressive as she was first annoyed and then amused.

“Yeah, Pike’s here,” she informed him which caused her patient to continue speaking.  She listened intently, “And no, I will **_not_** tell him **_THAT_** , even if you’re claiming that they’re your dying words, because I’m not letting you die. You can tell him yourself when you wake up. Nighty night, Commander. See you on the flip side.”

Then with a practiced ease, she narc’d the Commander into unconsciousness and intubated him.

**_Good God, Phil would have loved her and adopted her as his own. Then he would have taken the Caerulean mini-medic on a bar crawl of all the local starbases. The two of them would have gotten drunk and rowdy, and he would have had to bail out their sorry asses._ **

**_But who the hell was Phil?_ **

“We’re cutting him out of his uniform,” she then informed her team. “Captain, please remove his boots. We’re rather limited in boots in his size.”

“The Old Man ain’t gonna like that,” one of the Security team said in a voice that was a half-laugh, half-sob. “I think that’s his last uniform. He only wore it for good.”

“He pulled it out every time we got a new Captain,” joked Devins.

 “The Old Man said to trust Captain Pike, so apologize for your rudeness,” Singh softly stated. His eyes were red-rimmed and he was visibly trembling from the sheer effort he was making at holding his shit together. Plus, he was developing a spectacular bruise from where DelRosso had landed a kick.

“After **_this_**?” Devins questioned. He gestured at Singh and then at the comatose Commander. “He did **_this_** to DelRosso.”

Dr. Blue, being both tiny and fierce, didn’t even break a sweat when she tongue-slapped Devins. Once on the left, once on the right, and BAM, right in the middle of his forehead.  Pike couldn’t help but wince as it echoed.

The mood in the room turned darker and the only sounds were the industrious ripping of fabric.  Pike kept his eyes open, to determine the best chance of survival if the half dozen personnel turned against him.  He’d never make it out alive, but he’d pay the ferryman’s fee with as much blood as he could.

**_Sylvia, I’m sorry I won’t see those little red headed terrors of ours.  If the Janus Kids kill me, remember they’re just fucking kids, stretched too far._ **

“This was a deliberate agreement between the Old Man and Pike. This incident has proven to the Breen that Pike is one of them,” Doc stated.

While he wasn’t protesting as that statement would possibly keep him alive, he thought it rather unfair that he had not been informed of their alleged agreement.

“Per the Commander, if anything happened to him, we are supposed to trust Captain Pike. Implicitly and absolutely, were his exact words,” stated the soft-spoken Singh. “The Old Man wants it, he specifically placed **_both_** of them under **_his_** protection. So, Mr. Devins, do you wish to be remanded to quarters for violating a direct order of your superior? I ensure you that the Commander will be most displeased **_when_** he wakes.”

The mood in the room was shifting towards Team Pike, Chris noticed. Plus, he observed that Dr. Blue had a hypospray within reach and she was crouched, as though she was about to leap onto Devins and knock him unconscious.

 “No, I do not, Sir,” Devins stated. “My apologies, Captain. No offense was meant or intended.”

“None taken,” Chris lied which caused the tension in the room to leach out. “However, if you could find another bottle of Scotch like the one the Commander gave me, it wouldn’t go amiss.”

“That’s was Emerson’s stash,” Singh admitted. “Commander knew his liquor.”

There was an appreciative chuckle from the various Janus crew and then the doctor spoke, “Roll him to the right.”

* * *

 

They literally **_ice cubed_** the Commander, while Dr. Blue remained in the room, reviewing various scans at warp speeds.  She was curled up in far too large fuzzy sweatshirt and visibly shaking from the cold, so Pike left the room long to find the blanket warmer. That goal reached, he returned with several blankets in various shapes and sizes.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Singh was being shepherded to a bed.

“That was interesting treatment,” Chris prompted as he began to wrap her in blankets.

“Lately, he’s noticeably slurring his words, and he speaks in a monotone. Plus, he’s complaining of headaches, so I’m concerned that his old injury from the dataspike has flared. Treatment for now is a medical induced coma and dropping his body temperature a few degrees Celsius to try and lower his intracranial pressure. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll have to drill a hole in his skull and try to manage the aneurysm that’s located in the Broca Area. Hopefully, he’ll be able to talk when I’m done.” 

She pulled the blankets closer around her and chirped in appreciation as he had gotten them as hot as possible. Almost scalding in fact. “What am I saying? I’m hoping he’s able to breathe.”

“You’re trepanning him? With a drill from engineering?” Pike questioned. “That’s…”

“Barbaric especially as I have to do it while he’s awake and verbal so I can limit the amount of damage to the Broca Area,” she admitted. “The Breen ransacked our supplies and removed anything that might be used against them so they took all our laser drills.”

“I think you’re pretty proficient with the tongue-slaps. I think Devins still trying to figure out what galaxy he’s in.” For added bonus points, he added a hint of admiration to his quip.

She trilled, which he understood as laughter.

“Flatterer. I’m very talented with the various usages of a laser scalpel also,” the little blue spitfire informed him.

 “I think I liked it better when you were afraid of me,” he admitted. “Though you be but tiny, you art fierce.”

She trilled then, and he shook his head. “Are you **_laughing_**? Seriously, are you laughing? That’s Shakespeare, he’s a classic.”

Her trilling grew louder even as she curled further into the blankets. He could see her little blue nose and that was about it.

“What words of wisdom were DelRosso’s not so final last words?” was his next question.

**_This is all your fucking fault, Pike.  Could you have fucked it any more if you had tried? I think not. Sincerely, with all intended disrespect as you’re a fucking idiot, Rafael DelRosso._ **

“This,” she tilted her head towards the ice cubed Commander, “is not your fault.”

Pike grimaced a smile because it **_was_ **his fault.

“The Old Man is dying,” she informed Pike. “Only Singh, Ylsa and I knew that. Now you do. He’s been living on borrowed time since the Breen decided to use his head as a party pinata. The aneurysm could have blown any time before now, and it could blow any time from now. This little stunt of yours just ensured that he had to come into Sick Bay where I could restrain him and treat him.”

He barked a laugh. “Not my fault? Am I supposed to believe that?”

For added emphasis, he gestured at his obtunded senior officer.

**_Wait a minute, Chris. When did he become your senior officer? I thought you two were still dick waving to determine who was captain of the good USS HellShip._ **

**_Well, since he’s not able to wave his dick at the moment, I guess that makes me, Captain, by dick default._ **

“He said it.  His exact words were, ‘Tell Pike, not his fault’.”

“That was rather… succinct…” Pike prompted. “He’s usually pretty verbose.”

He waited, and as anticipated, she spilled her guts.

“He also said for you to get your fucking head out of your ass as it’s time for you to run with the ball. The Old Man is pretty salty,” she admitted. She shook her head in protest over the language.

“I’ve noticed,” he quipped. “So, is there a version of your name that I can use that doesn’t require hours of practice or me dislocating my jaw?”

“Emerson called me Dr. Ni-assa, which quickly turned into Dr. Nessa. Some of the others picked that up for the short time we were together,” she softly offered. “It’s Gaelic. It means, ‘ungentle’.”

“You tongue slapped someone in front of Emerson, didn’t you?” Pike asked.

“No,” she strongly protested, before she softly added, “I actually used my tail. It is extremely useful to have a tail. I could graft one on you if you'd like?"

"I'll pass," he quickly stated.

"Pity."                                                                                                                                                                             

* * *

 

He visited Singh next, and the kid was deeply asleep as they had given him assorted happy, sleepy pills. **_Thank God_**.  Kid looked like he was all of sixteen years old when he was awake and when he was asleep, he appeared even younger. Ylsa was sitting next to him, and she spooked when she realized he was there. As well, she should, because he was Captain McCrazy.

He gestured for her to settle back down and to stay with Singh. That done, he turned to Dr. Nessa when they left the room.  

“Prognosis?” Pike questioned. He paused before he continued, “I know what happened with Emerson, and his reaction to Emerson’s decapitation, so be truthful. I'm sure I set him back after today.”

“He requires intensive psychiatric assistance,” the doctor admitted. “As do the other thirty-seven remaining original crew members of the USS Janus. However, I think a nice, long nap will help.”

“How long a nap?” Pike questioned.

“I’m thinking …. at least twenty-four hours. I’d prefer thirty-six,” she stated.

 Long, slow exhale as he pondered who the hell he could trust in the chair for the next few days.

“Crew won’t move against you,” she assured him. “Crew has been informed that this entire scenario was planned between you and DelRosso to help cement your position. The red shirts let them know. They are horrible gossips.”

He said nothing, and she quirked a small smile.

“I know, The Old Man didn’t tell you **_anything_** , but we don’t need to tell anyone. He used to win all the Executive Team poker games because he always held his cards against his chest. Figuratively and literally. I noticed that he always held part of himself back when he first dealt with people. He had mentioned to Emerson that he had a couple bad tours before he landed here. I think he internally retreats as a form of self-preservations.” 

“You’re being remarkably honest,” was all Pike said.

“I am because I trust him, and he trusts you,” she admitted. Then she leaned forward and asked in a conspiratorial tone, “Now, be honest with me. Did you really sell DelRosso to a Tolerian Starship Captain for **_two_** cases of Draxylian Whiskey?”

He blinked, as he didn’t remember anything of that sort occurring.

“Do you think I asked for too much?” he retorted because he had no idea what the hell she was referencing.

She trilled loudly and smiled, which made Pike laugh.  It was the first smile he had seen all day. “I have to tell Ylsa.  We thought he was telling stories to Emerson, but he was so irked about you selling him cheap that we weren’t sure. He claimed that the Tolerian Captain was willing to go as high as **_five_** cases for him.”

“Five?” Pike repeated as that was a hell of a lot of really good whiskey to have lost.

“Five!” she chirped.

* * *

 

Captain Killy ran a very tight ship but she was quite relieved when Chris appeared back on the bridge. He nodded his head in acknowledgement of her hard work when she gratefully exited the chair.  Everyone was busy working, and it was a smooth transfer between the two of them.

“I have the reports on your departments, Captain,” she informed him.  

“Thank you. I’ll review them,” was all he said before she retreated to her station.

She watched him though, observed him in true concern as he grew quieter and increasingly introspective as the hours passed.  It was two hours into the day’s third shift when she decided to put her foot down.

“You need some sleep,” she whispered.  “Is there anyone you can trust to oversee the ship for the next few hours?”

He shook his head. It was a barely noticeable gesture.

“Put T’Seng in the chair,” she suggested. “She’s quite competent and the crew respects her.”

T’Seng, the ensign who had sobbed uncontrollably because he had complimented her and SMILED at her, in charge of HIS ship. Uh, no.

‘I’ve already had one crew member have a nervous breakdown today,” he reminded her. “Plus, I have a senior officer in a medically induced coma in Sick Bay. That is quite enough for one day.  Any more and that little blue doctor will slap me with her tongue.”

He shivered as he informed Tilly, “She is dangerous and accurate.”

“You’re exhausted, and you need some sleep,” she protested.  Her earnestness overwhelmed his exhausted defenses because he was pretty sure that she was the only person that didn’t want him dead regardless of Dr. Nessa’s assurance. “After I make sure you’re… **_relaxed_**.”

That was offered with a coquettish smile, and he capitulated with a slight smirk. “Sounds delightful.”

“T’Seng, you have the Chair.” Her unexpected promotion to the Seat o’ Power caused T’Seng to spasm.

“Me?” she yelped.

“You’re the only T’Seng on the duty roster last time I looked,” he announced as he stood. He patted the chair and gave her a slight grin as he remembered all too well the only time that he had smiled at her. “Contact me if you need me. For **_anything_**.”

The young ensign gingerly sat in the chair and then she made a face.  “This is a very uncomfortable chair,” T’seng admitted as she struggled to make herself comfortable.

“The perks of command are highly overrated,” he drolly informed her. “Trust me.”

* * *

 

They were walking to their quarters when Chris unexpectedly stopped. He peered around him and then asked, “Is it just me or are the lights dimmed?”

She nodded her head, “Several of the levels that living quarters on them are on limited power currently. The announcement came in to divert power to Sick Bay as they’re doing surgery. I guess you didn’t get to read that PADD yet.”

Pike cursed and turned on one foot. He began walking at a brisk pace toward Sick Bay and Tilly started racing to keep up with him.

“Ah, quarters are the other way?” was her helpful comment.

“I need to confirm what is happening down there,” he tersely explained. “You probably want to miss this, so go to our quarters. I’ll be there shortly.”

“I should go with you,” she offered.

Dear sweet Sylvia, he really didn’t deserve her loyalty.

Chris shook his head, “It’s best if you miss this. If it’s what I think it is…. I’m asking you to go to our quarters, please don’t make me order you. You will not want to see this and I will need you to … **_relax_** … me after this.”

His tone convinced her, Thank God.  So, once she had turned to return to their quarters, he began to jog towards Sick Bay.  Within a few steps, he had picked up his pace and prayed that he wouldn’t hear the sound of a drill when he arrived at Sick Bay.

No, there was the sound of Italian Opera being played, loudly. Verdi’s _Le fosche notturne_ , better known as the Anvil Chorus, he thought as there was the sound of metal and two voices loudly singing along with it. One was a male voice that was able to hit the notes and sing the lyrics with surprisingly aplomb and another voice, female, that wasn’t quite as good, but still giving it a noble effort.  So, he had missed the drilling, at least, but he’d stay until DelRosso hit the recovery area.

He entered Sick Bay shortly after the male voice stopped, and he heard the sound of medical trays crashing to the floor.  Quick glance showed just Singh still sleeping in the bays, but not Ylsa.  No staff either which was a bad sign combined with the music ceasing in the middle of a high spirited _Chi del gitano i giorni abbella? Chi del gitano i giorni abbella, chi?_ _La zingarella!_

He should have been challenged the minute he walked into the Sick Bay.  No, they were all in the operating theatre so he watched from the outside.

His **_helmsman_**   Ylsa had a death grip on DelRosso’s head, there was an… older Andorian female in white who was talking and directing the staff while a blood splattered Dr. Nessa intently listened.  There was a great deal of blood on everyone and everything, Pike noticed.

Except for the Andorian who was pristine.

Big problem. Who was the Andorian?

There was no living Andorian on the ship.

None.

Not at all.

Not a single solitary one, and it appeared that the former, very dead Chief Medical Officer who was now, though a touch opaque, intently instructing her staff on how to handle a brain surgery that had taken a turn for the worse.

God, he hated the Janus and every single one of its Feds crew members, living, dead and the in-between.

* * *

 

Nessa had just finished stabilizing her patient when Dr. th'Zoarhi informed her that Pike had witnessed their efforts.

“I need to shut down now, but you have everything under control. The bleeding has stopped so your staff just needs to monitor him for the next forty-eight hours. Ylsa, you did extremely well with the mind meld anesthesia. You should have gone into the healing arts.” The Andorian doctor gave her a warm, comforting smile.

“I’ll pass,” the blood splattered helmsman confessed. “I don’t ever want to do this again. I think I’ll have nightmares for weeks after witnessing this.”

“I understand,” the Andorian assured Ylsa. Then hologram then turned to Nessa and added, “With Rafe out of commission, you can utilize any of us if necessary. Remember that. What will you tell Pike?”

“I supposed pretending to have no idea what he is talking about if he mentions you wouldn’t work?”  Nessa asked.

The Andorian shook her head and then closed her program.

“Ylsa, I can’t read Pike,” the Doctor informed her friend while they were cleaning up in private. “I’ll need you to do read him when I speak to him. Can you also turn on your Deltan super powers of seduction when I speak to him?”

“I’m **_not_** seducing him,” Ylsa protested.  The Deltan shook her head, “No, no, no. He is a Federation officer and he’s quite senior to me. No, no, no. Commander said that we are act as accordingly as we are still Star Fleet, so no violating General Orders.”

Left unmentioned was that DelRosso had been violating various General Orders as he deemed necessary.

“I’m not asking for that, and I never would. I want you to confuse and befuddle him with your pheromones.  When I’m done with him and I get the answers I need, we’ll return him to his quarters where his mate is. You said you planted the idea for sex in her head?”

“Honestly, it wasn’t too hard to plant it,” Ylsa admitted. “She is **_exceptionally_** voracious when it comes to him.”

“I guess he’s rather tasty….” The cerulean doctor then shuddered, “But he is just so **_pink_**! And **_tall_**!”

“You could climb him?” offered Ylsa.

* * *

 

Cornwell arrived on the Discovery and held a meeting with the Discovery’s Executive team.

“I thought I’d let you know the latest information. I have received intelligence that one of the Enolians owed money, so to save himself, he sold information on the treaty instead.  The Breen took Captain Pike because they have a Federation ship that they’re trying to reverse engineer it as it was a prototype. They’re having difficulties so they thought abducting Pike would help them.”

“Any idea about Ensign Tilly?”  Saru spoke for the rest of the Executive team.

“No, but I believe that if they took Pike, they’d take Ensign Tilly also due to her engineering skills. I almost pity the Breen, because I’m sure that Pike is leading a mutiny right now.”

The Discovery crew laughed softly among themselves and agreed that no doubt their Captain was turning everything to his advantage.

* * *

 

Captain Pike had scared the medical staff into permitting him into the comatose DelRosso’s sick bay. Pike’s arms were crossed and he was intently watching the monitor. He was tapping his fingers on his biceps which usually meant trouble, the doctor knew.

“The operation; it went south I take it?” Pike softly questioned.

Nessa nodded her head.  

“We had to clip the aneurysm, as it was leaking,” she softly confessed. “He was talking… well… singing along to the music, and then he stopped when the aneurysm blew, so I don’t know if he’ll be able to talk once he wakes.”

“You did the best you could possibly could. No one will fault you,” he assured her.  “However, it was nice of Dr. th'Zoarhi to help out. Least I am assuming that was she, even though she’s listed as dead. Hologram? Or is she hiding in the Jeffries Tube waiting to be called down for surgical cases?”

Dr. Nessa admitted, “Hologram.”

“Any more senior officers hanging out in the ether that I need to know about?” Pike intently questioned. “Because we could really use Zhivanevskaya in engineering. Or have I been dealing with her already?”

“th'Zoarhi was part of a prototype Emergency Hologram program,” Nessa informed Pike. “I do not know about the others.”

It was the truth, she didn’t know who of the Executive team had been hologramed, just that some had been. She wasn’t lying, but Pike’s eyes narrowed.

“Are you telling me everything you know?” he questioned.

Time to turn the tables on Captain Pike as with DelRosso down and possibly out, someone had to pick up the pieces.  

“What you would like me to start with? Let’s talk truth, Captain, I know that you don’t know DelRosso, not at all. You look at him as though he was a stranger.”

 ** _Oh hell, she knew.  If she knew, that meant that others did_**.

“I traded him to the Tolerians, remember? I must have known him to do that,” Pike protested.

“You got the amount of liquor they traded wrong for him, Captain Pike. Ylsa?”  The blue doctor looked at Ylsa. There was a sense of desperation in her voice, as she pleaded, “Please tell me that I’m mistaken. Please.”

The Delta stared at him, and then looked at the Doctor.

“He doesn’t remember DelRosso, not at all,” Ylsa quietly. “He’s been lying to us. He truly believes he’s a Tolerian, even though he’s beginning to have his doubts. He doesn’t remember being DelRosso’s Captain on the Enterprise. However, he was only DelRosso’s captain for three months until he traded him to the Tolerians after the bar fight slash riot on Starbase 32.”

Pike protested, “This scan is a violation of Federal protocols. You’re not supposed…”

Fuckity fucky, he got the full impact of her Deltan Pheromones even as he struggled to protest, “This… is …seriously… wrong, Helmsman. I am… bonded… to …. Tilly…. You have …. Singh….. and… I am… not… we ... are ... not.... ”

Because he was completely and utterly focused on the Deltan, he failed to notice that Dr. Nessa had locked and loaded her tongue.

**_THWACK._ **

He got tongue slapped hard and he collapsed to the floor as all his various limbs decided to go on vacation to Risa. They were busy swilling Risan Mai Tais when his brain decided it required a vacation, too, and left in protest as it was drained from dealing with all of Chris’ mistakes. No forwarding address left as it was that annoyed.

Thank you very, very much.

“You’re both getting an **_official_** reprimand for this,” he informed the Doctor before he blacked out.

The two mutineers stared at one another and Ylsa began to panic.

“Calm down, Captain’s been drugged and mentally conditioned. I need to get him off the drugs, that way the conditioning has a chance to break down so we can get the Enterprise Pike here, instead of Tolerian-Lite Pike. He is fighting his conditioning as today’s little episode in the Mess Hall was a near psychotic break for him. By medicating him, I can control the weaning process so we don’t have a repeat of today. Now help me get him on a bed,” the doctor insisted.

“You cannot seriously think that the two of us can get him on a bed by ourselves,” protested the slight Deltan as she stared at the collapsed captain.

“Who are we going to ask? Devins is close to fracturing from the stress, Singh has splintered. The crew believes that Pike was working with DelRosso to get us home.  We can’t let anyone know about this, because they have **_hope_** that Christopher Pike will get us home. It’s only the two of us that know. Pike can’t even know that we know he’s lying. Grab an arm, Ylsa and think strong thoughts.”

* * *

 

Pike roused slowly and he groaned when he woke.  He felt as though he had been beaten, hung up wet and dragged by his arms for miles. Plus, his head really hurt as though someone had dragged him across a very bumpy road, deliberate in their efforts at hitting every single bump in order to crack open his empty head and pour sense into it. He touched the spot on the forehead where it ached and he was surprised that there wasn’t an egg-shaped lump.

“Captain Pike,” chirped his favorite blue skinned doctor as she came into focus. “You’re awake! You have been a very bad captain. You didn’t eat all day and apparently you got woozy when we were drilling DelRosso as it was a gory mess. Do you remember blacking out? You hit your head on the counter when you went down.”

“Nessa?” he whispered.

“Good, good, good. You know who I am. Where are we?” she asked. “Ylsa, please hand me the hyposprays.”

“In sick bay?” he asked, even as she expertly hyposprayed him.

“You’ll need to see me for the next week or so, Captain. That way, I can ensure that you take your medication. You’re also off duty for the next twenty-four hours. If there are any issues, naturally Singh will contact you, but for now, you need to go to your quarters and rest.”

“The surgery?” Pike questioned as everything was a jumble. “Was there an Andorian in the surgery area?”

“She’s dead, Sir. You may have heard me wishing that she was there to help me.  Surgery went poorly and we nearly lost him. I’m not sure if he’ll ever wake up,” Nessa softly admitted. She then swallowed back tears and whispered, “You do know his plans on how to get us home, right?”

Her intensity surprised him, as though she doubted him.

“Yes,” Pike lied. “It will be more difficult without him though. I swear to you, I’ll get you home.”

And he meant it, with every fiber of his being.

“I know you will, Sir. I know you will,” the doctor assured him.  “I contacted Tilly and she’ll be here shortly. Now close your eyes, and rest. The sprays will help with your headache.”

“I hit a counter?” he asked as he attempted to sit up.  “You sure you didn’t tongue slap me, did you?”

She trilled and smiled, “I think I’ll go visit DelRosso. He won’t ask such silly questions. Why would I tongue slap you?”

“DelRosso’s unconscious,” Chris helpfully pointed out.

The little blue doctor placed her hands on both hips, and then informed him that was the very reason why DelRosso wouldn’t ask any stupid questions.

* * *

 

Tilly glared at him for his stupidity before warmly smiling at the doctor. Much to his annoyance, she trilled the Doctor’s name as he was the only one that couldn’t pronounce it.  Then the two of them detailed his discharge instructions including “no strenuous activity” for the next seventy-two hours.

The little blue doctor was curled up in a chair and her little blue tail waved energetically in time to the cadence of their conversation. “Now, I know that you and the Captain are newly bonded, so you’re having sex regularly. With no strenuous activity that means, you’re in charge, if you know what I mean.”

Really, the tail was laughing at him, he was sure of it, as it was waving and gyrating as though highly amused.

Damn the Chistorians and their little blue tails.

“So that means, you can perform oral sex, hand jobs, tie him to the bedposts…” the doctor then began to explain in explicit detail what a very interested Sylvia could do to him and what more importantly, he couldn’t do to her.

“Excuse me, I am sitting here,” he protested as they quickly detoured into specific sexual acts the likes of which made him blush.

“Great, I don’t have to repeat it then,” she trilled. “So just make sure when he is writhing in ecstasy, he doesn’t hit his head. So lots of pillows, and remember, gentle sex is fine, trampolines, office desks, walls… are a serious no go.  He can’t exert himself, but a nice healthy orgasm or three will help him sleep for the next twelve hours or so.”

**_Three? Did anyone remember how old he was?_ **

“Is there even a trampoline on this ship?” Pike protested “And people have sex on it? Do I have to write a memo?”

“In the gym, it’s a very small one, so you have to be very limber,” Nessa assured him.

He was **_so_** writing the memo when he returned to work as gym equipment should be used for physical exercise. Ok, he’d need to work on phrasing that better.  Even his rattled brain accepted that releasing a memo with that phrasing would unleash merry chaos among the crew and cause them to doubt his sanity. As though the events of yesterday didn't have them doubting it.

“Now, go have fun, Tilly. He might be a little sleepy from the drugs, so be understanding.”

While Sylvia promised **_understanding_** with his frailty, he still found himself stripped and under her complete control within moments of entering their quarters.  He couldn’t protest as he found himself utterly cored after the last few days.

“You look exhausted,” she whispered. “I guess I’ll let you sleep instead of following the doctor’s explicit instructions.”

“Sorry. Can we cuddle? Just roll on your back,” he requested. “I need to rest my head on your pillows per Doctor’s orders.”

Tilly blushed and mock protested. Yet she gently helped position him so his head rested on her glorious breasts.  She began stroking his hair, and whispered, “Go to sleep, Chris. You’re exhausted.”

“I was hoping for a few good years before I needed you to nurse me,” he whispered.

“Shh… go to sleep.”


	13. Chapter 13

Christopher Pike woke to the sound of voices. Soft, female voices, so he grabbed the covers and then he made sure he was dressed.  He was! Thank God, as he could not handle a gaggle of women screaming that he was naked.

“Is he … **_clothed_**?” softly questioned the doctor.  “I won’t disturb him if he’s not presentable.”

Yeah, right. She had stripped him pretty quickly after she had knocked him unconscious.

“Yes,” Tilly assured her.

“You better go in first,” the doctor suggested.  “You distract him.”

Tilly giggled. Her bubbly laughter was sufficient warning of incoming hostiles, so he was able to sit up and beat his hair into some semblance of control.

“Good morning, Captain. How do you feel today?” His favorite little blue doctor asked. She was cheery, bright and blue.  Her tail was curled around her neck and for the life of him, he didn’t know what that meant. Chris could read a man’s eyes with reasonable proficiently, but he couldn’t read the doctor’s tail.

And yes, he realized how bad that sounded the minute he thought it.

So, she was projecting copious amounts of cheery blueness, unlike himself, as he felt as though he had been beaten to near death by three drunken Klingons and then hung up to dry, but like hell would he admit it to her. He had plans on Captaining today and Phil would have tranq’d his ass into staying in bed if he had been there.

Really, he needed to figure out who the hell Phil was.

“I rest assured, secure in the knowledge that Devins feels at least three times as bad as I do,” Pike informed her.

Tilly looked confused and an innocent appearing Nessa just shook her head before she hit him with two hyposprays.  One with her right hand and one with her tail. The mental fog descended upon him and his horizontal suddenly went vertical even as he realized that she been hiding the second hypo in her navy blue hair.

“That is so not right,” protested a blitzed Pike. “You’ve got an eight-foot tongue that you slap people with, and you have a tail that should be classified as a weapon.”

BOOM! She hit him with a third hypospray.  He, fortunately, landed on his back in bed, while his feet remained in a sitting position on the side of the bed.

“Let’s get him into bed. Can you grab one of his feet?” Tilly asked. “Should we get Ylsa? Since she’s in the hallway?”

“No… no… Sylvia… Not Ylsa… please… They’ll try to drag me by my arms.… and they’ll drop me on the floor…” Chris protested. “Repeatedly… and they won’t apologize… they’re just keep dropping and dragging me…over and over again… How did you get me in the bed anyway, Doc?”

Last night, he had experienced vivid dreams where the two diminutive demonesses had attempted to pull him off the floor and onto a stretcher.  There had been flashes of a great deal of creative cursing (them and him), a possible shoulder dislocation (his) and a blue tail that had been stepped on (hers by him but accidentally, and he had remembered profusely apologizing as she had been uncontrollably weeping from the agony but still, she had **_dropped_** him. Repeatedly. Like four or five times. But he still felt bad because he had stepped on her tail. Or maybe… they had dropped him so he had landed on her tail?)

“Wow, what did you give him?” Tilly giggled. “He really believes that you dropped him.”

Nessa shrugged her shoulders. “He was lucky he didn’t crack his head open when he hit the counter. He needs to remember to eat. Perhaps he shouldn’t watch brain surgery if he faints at the sight of blood.”

“There was brain matter and blood splattered everywhere. How’s your tail?” he woozily asked.  “I didn’t break it when I stepped on it, did I? I didn’t mean to step on it but you kept dropping me. How’s Singh? How’s DelRosso? Did he wake up? I need my astrophysics jokes.”

With a mighty heave, the girl power team of Tilly, Ylsa and the blue doctor pulled him into a supine position in bed.

“He’s really not very funny, but I guess I should make an effort to laugh…” Pike admitted before he was out cold.

The three women looked at each, and then at the comatose Captain and then at each other again.  The doctor leaned over the sedated captain hesitantly and peeled open one eye.  She judiciously peered at him for a bit, and then cheerily announced “He’ll be out for the next several hours. You want to join us for brunch, Tilly?”

“Really?” Tilly asked.  She hesitantly smiled as this had been the first offer of tentative friendship from anyone on the Janus as everyone had treated her like a whore, because she **_was_** sleeping with the Captain. Even her Science Squad had kept her at arm’s length with copious side eyes.  She had pretended that it hadn’t hurt but it had. Deeply. “You’re inviting **_me_**?”

“We’re certainly not inviting **_him_** ,” Ylsa explained.

They looked back at the slightly snoring Captain, and Nessa sighed, “I really didn’t want to do that but he needs to rest.”

“Liar,” coughed Ylsa. A long coughing jag followed which sounded like, “You wanted to do that, who are you fooling?”

“He stepped on my tail,” protested Nessa. “He stepped on it when we pulled him off the floor. I feared that he broke it.”

“ ** _I_** thought he broke it,” admitted Ylsa. “You **_screeched_** like he broke it.”

Better left unsaid was that after Pike had stepped on the doctor’s tail, it had been the first, but not the last time, that the dangerous duo had dropped him. In their defense, they were fierce, but tiny, and he had been unconscious, and tall.

And he **_had_** stomped on her little blue tail.

“It hurt,” protested the Doctor. “It really, really hurt. And it’s _crooked_ now. I’ll never get a boyfriend now.”

Ylsa and Tilly giggled as Nessa mocked scowled, “Yes, I know both of you are having sex multiple times every damn day. While I’m small, alone and blue. With a **_crooked_** tail. Surrounded by tall, pink, tail-less beings who insist on living in an  environment the temperature of a meat locker.”

“We can splint it?” offered Ylsa.

Nessa's expression plainly showed what she felt about that idea.

* * *

 

Their brunch date had turned into grabbing trays and returning back to Ylsa’s quarters.  It was warm and cozy, and the two began gently teasing her about her relationship with Pike.

“Is it true what they say about older husbands?” Nessa queried while she sipped her tea.  Her little blue tail was crooked in an inquisitive gesture.

Tilly blushed, and tried to act like one of the cool kids. “I don’t know, what do they say?”

“The sex is **_amazing_** ,” Ylsa the Deltan cooed.

“I’ve heard that said about Deltan Sex,” retorted Tilly who was vainly attempting to deflect the discussion as she knew Chris would be Captain Unhappy if he knew anything about this conversation. He was rather conservative that way.

“It’s true. Fortunately, Nirav can handle it,” admitted Ylsa with a slight smirk.

“I so need a boyfriend,” protested the single and celibate Nessa.  “I’d even take a pink, tall one.  How long have you been together?”

“We bonded right before we arrived here,” Tilly admitted. “A week?”

“You need to make tonight special then,” suggested Nessa. “He is carrying a great deal of muscular tensions in the head, neck and shoulders area. Perhaps a massage might be… beneficial. Ylsa, do you have anything?”

“Oh my God,” Tilly gasped. “Your tail just **_giggled_**.”

“Did not,” protested Nessa.

“It did. It just bounced like it was giggling,” protested Tilly.

Nessa turned to glare at her misbehaving tail which was bouncing around like a hyper toddler. Even glaring at it just caused it just to bounce and gyrate still more.

“I have something you can try,” Ylsa suggested. “Be right back.”

She came back with a small container. “Rub it on your hands, so it warms up before you start massaging it. He’ll be very affectionate.”

“I really don’t have that problem,” Tilly admitted.  She shook her hands at Nessa in mock protest. “Will you stop it with the tail? Will you?”

Ylsa and Nessa giggled.

* * *

 

Pike woke several hours later, feeling rather well rested.  He determined that the Doctor was in her medical lair, applying copious heat wraps to her tail, so as long as he stayed far away from her, she’d never know that he was disobeying orders.  It wasn’t as though he was truly flouting her orders, he was just in his ready room, instead of his quarters, reviewing reports.

There was a ping at his door and upon review, he realized it was Lt. Singh. This was the one encounter he wasn’t looking forward to, however sooner done, the sooner the repair could begin.  How does one say, _I’m sorry I nearly killed you because I was crazy_?

“Lt. Singh, come in,” Pike offered. He stood up and motioned for the younger man to take a seat, which Singh refused to take. “I want to talk to you about yesterday, so I’m glad you came to see me.”

The younger man hung his head and stared at the floor. His voice was quite soft when he began to speak, “I’m sorry, Sir. I am.”

“I’m the one that needs to apologize to you,” Pike quietly stated. “About yesterday…I am…”

Singh shook his head in silent protest and then plowed ahead.

“No, I need to apologize because… because I lost faith there, Sir. I really did, Sir. I lost faith in everything, Star Fleet, DelRosso, you… but when you showed up in Sick Bay, the look on your face… I realized that this entire scene was something you and DelRosso had planned out, with him… not sure how much longer he will be here… he needed to secure your position here. You really scared the shit outta the crew and the Breen were eating it up, Sir. Until you turned on them, too.”

“I think you’re being a little too forgiving,” Chris stated very quietly. “I’d rather doubt that I’d feel the same way if I were you.”

Singh bobbed his head and hesitantly smiled, all the while staring at the floor.  “The Old Man never told us what he was doing, we just knew he was… doing things, shattering the various General Orders and Service Regulations to keep as many of us alive as possible. He made us keep our heads down, hands clean, so we got back to Federation Territory, we’d be ok. Because of what happened to him on the Archimedes, he worried about us. He wanted his hands dirty, not ours.”

Singh finally looked at him then.

“I can understand that,” offered Chris, who had no idea what Singh was talking about. “The Archimedes incident… is not something… that should be inflicted on anyone…”

That sounded reasonable, right? Yes, and Singh didn’t give him any more intel!

“Anyway, the other reason I’m here is… he would send messages out, piggy back them onto space noise. Just little short bursts over and over again, to different locations in the hopes someone would know that we were still alive, still fighting.  He just got a message back, Sir. It was redirected to me today as he didn’t respond to it for twelve hours. It gave a star date, coordinates and two words.”

“What was the message?” questioned Pike.

“ _Vaya advances_ ,” Singh softly confessed. “It was a male voice. Heavily accented. I couldn’t place the accent.”

“I have no idea what that means,” confessed Pike.

“I think it means that we need to focus on hull repairs and the warp engines.  Could someone be coming for us?”

“I don’t know,” Pike admitted. “What’s the star date? Where’s the coordinates? Any idea who sent it besides Vaya? What direction? How do we know it wasn’t the Breen?”

A little more than three weeks away, a nebula that was a day or so travel away, close to the disputed territories between the Breen and the Tolerians. Within reach, but not, not with the Breen onboard.   

“I think the question is now, if we do decide to go for this, how do we regain control of the ship?” Pike asked.

Singh then surprised him by casually mentioning that the crew had a secret weapons cache however with little warp drive capability, they hadn’t attempted a mutiny.

“Very well then, let’s work on the hull and the warp drives. And regarding yesterday, I am deeply sorry that I caused you to doubt. Please accept my apologies. I can’t apologize enough, as … I went too far. Giving up our values just means that we’ve lost the battle,” Chris explained.

“The old man said similar a few times, usually after we wanted to help him,” explained Singh. “He claimed that he had already lost his personal war, so a few more battles didn’t matter.”

* * *

After Singh left, Chris decided to visit Sick Bay for his daily medication.  However, as his mother hadn’t raised any unappreciative fools, he dutifully presented Dr. Nessa with a container of hot tea and a plate of little blue sugar cookies from the replicator.  They were barely on the counter before she hit him with a hypospray.

“Just a small thank you for taking such good care of me,” he then added his best smile. “How’s your tail?”

Her eyes narrowed to little slits just like his Great Aunt Lil had when she thought he was full of shit.  For a moment he truly believed that he was gonna get the cookies chucked at him plus a tongue slap of epic proportions.  However, since the tea was nice and hot (boiling) she would keep it.

“It’s **_crooked_** ,” she announced as, God help him, she pouted, before she took a long, appreciative sip of tea.

“May I visit DelRosso?” was his attempt to change the subject.

“He is still in a coma and we’re slowly heating him back up to normal,” she informed him.  “Brain wise, I’m not sure if there’s anything left.”

She then curled up into a little blue ball of despair. Her feet were tucked under her bottom, her arms were wrapped around herself and yes, the very tip of her tail was obviously crooked.

“You did the best you could,” he softly assured her.

“I’m getting tired of my best not being good enough,” she confessed.

Couldn’t blame her, as he was pretty exhausted himself.  He couldn’t stay for long in DelRosso’s medbay because of the nagging guilt that he had nearly killed the comatose officer, so he returned  to his quarters.   It was long past time for him to review the PADD.  Therefore, he poured himself a drink and made himself comfortable.

It was heavily encrypted as it scanned his retinas and dna. Only after the security protocols were satisfied, did it query him on what he wanted. It politely explained that it was not connected to the main database as the Breen would have noticed any queries he ran so some responses might be limited.

“Review of Executive team of the USS Janus. Begin with Rafael DelRosso. I want information on his last ten years.  Assignments, reviews.”

Holograph image appeared. Dark haired, somber face. List of various degrees, classes, interests which he quickly reviewed.  He wasn’t sure if knowing DelRosso had played trumpet with a focus on jazz would ever be helpful, but one never knew.

“Cross reference Archimedes,” Pike stated. 

USS Archimedes.  Tour of four years.  Rafael DelRosso, as the surviving senior command officer of the Archimedes, was Court Martialed in a heavily redacted file. Judgement not guilty due to extenuating circumstances.

Sealed Psych reports, dozens of them.

Attachment - Admiral Katrina Cornwell.  **_Captain Christopher Pike of the USS Enterprise has agreed to accept the transfer of Cmdr. Rafael DelRosso to his command upon my request due to Pike’s experience on the USS Aldrin._**

Enterprise. **_ENTERPRISE! Captain Christopher Pike of the USS Enterprise! IS THAT ME?_**

Preliminary officer evaluation – **_Christopher Pike_**

He skimmed the report. Nothing much there so he continued to review the file. He thought it best to view the reports and then determine if he was that Christopher Pike.

Then dated three months later, a Separation Request filed based on officer’s performance.

**At this time, I am recommending that Commander DelRosso be reallocated due to his inability to appropriately manage the department and its resources.  With the recent events on Starbase 32, DelRosso has demonstrated an inability to work at a level of the uniform code of conduct that I require from my command officers. I wish him much success in his new undertaking as the liaison officer to the Tolerian Empire.**

**_Officer performance:_ Unsatisfactory. Do not recommend for reassignment in Star Fleet until Commander is remediated.**

Revision of Separation request based on officer’s performance, dated three weeks later. Once again by Christopher Pike.

**_Revision on Separation Request Based on Officer’s Performance submitted earlier for Commander DelRosso._ **

**Upon future investigation, issues in the department were found to have been deliberate acts of sabotage caused by Lt. Commander Hannigan and Lt (jg) Sosa in an attempt to secure position for Hannigan.**

**Re: Riot on Starbase 32, the Tellurite ambassador has confirmed in my presence that he did strike DelRosso with a piano bench without provocation, and quote “I deserved to get my tusks handed to me” while expressing true and ardent admiration for the ass whooping that he received.  DelRosso is now known as The JawBreaker along the Tellurites. And so, another Star Fleet Legend has been created.**

**_Officer performance revised:_ Satisfactory. Recommend for new placement in Star Fleet with caveat that his next Captain takes a more active approach in mentoring Commander.**

**_Commanding Officer Remarks regarding Revision request:_ Commander DelRosso was not comfortable coming to me with concerns. Due to the events that occurred during the Archimedes mutiny, I understand his extreme reticent in approaching superior officers with concerns regarding crewmates. I failed at making myself an approachable resource for his concerns and did not make sufficient availability in my schedule to ensure a smooth transition to the Enterprise. All responsibility for his brief unsuccessful tour with the Enterprise lands completely on my shoulders. **

**_NOTE:_ I will gladly answer any questions in the hopes I can smooth his transition into his next postings. **

**_Christopher Pike_ **

_Admiral Cornwell - I fucked this one up. No excuses, I just really fucked this one. I fear that I’m still processing what happened on Rigel, so roll out the couch for me - Chris_

“ ** _Captain Christopher Pike of the USS Enterprise_**? Show any pictures, records of Christopher Pike.”

Fortunately, he had placed his drink down, else he would have spilled it when he recognized Christopher Pike’s face.

He **_was_** a Fed. A fucking **_Fed_** , who captained a Starship. Not just a Starship.  **_The Enterprise._**

A sick panic was filling his gut, ( ** _SYLVIA_**!) so he focused on breathing, long, slow deep inhalations and extended exhalations to keep his emotions under control.

**_Focus, Chris. Focus. Review the photo. Are you sure it’s you?_ **

No doubt about it, there was significantly less grey in his hair, no facial tattoos – and he was wearing a yellowish goldenrod shirt.

And DelRosso **_had_** recognized **_him_**. The officer had quickly realized that Christopher Pike wasn’t in his right mind and The Jawbreaker, the Legendary Terror of Tellurites everywhere, had punched him in the psyche as hard as he could in the hopes of eliciting a response.

_**Well, one of my former Captains informed me that I was a sorry ass excuse for an officer, so I’m sure he’d agree with you.  God knows I wish he was here, because he would have pulled a miracle out of his ass. I’m sure he wouldn’t have let half his crew get butchered. He certainly wouldn’t be hiding.** _

_**Are you really sure you’re a Tolerian, Chris?  Do you ever catch yourself in the mirror and expect to see a different face?  Maybe different clothes?  Maybe a different color? Yellow, perhaps?** _

He forced himself to keep reading.

Two years with the Tolerians, then assigned to the Janus.  Another series of notes from Cornwell to Tanaka.

**_Hana, please.  We have failed him numerous times and I need not just anyone to take him. Kat._ **

**_Kat, DelRosso is very proficient officer, very capable, very knowledgeable. But he doesn’t make small talk to his fellow officers, Kat.  Liam Emerson volunteered to be his mentor as they both enjoy jazz.  I’m deeply troubled that he doesn’t get any communications from any living soul except for a brief daily communiqué from a Tolerian named VayastikekandrosoitosoImJustSoProuncingHisNameWrongAsIt’sDamnNearUnpronouncableSoI’veGivenUp and he refuses to take leave on any StarBase especially if the Enterprise is located anywhere in the same quadrant. He is as severe a case of space shock as I’ve ever seen. What happened to our boy?_ **

**_Hana – The Archimedes happened.  The Enterprise wasn’t a good fit so I understand why he’d prefer never to deal with them again. He was doing extremely well with the Tolerians, but coming back to Star Fleet has undone the progress he had made with them._ **

**_Kat – THE ARCHIMEDES? Fuck me! He’s THE Archimedes Operations Officer? I’ll work harder! I’m honored you trusted me with him._ **

**_Hana – LANGUAGE! But yes, that was DelRosso. Kat._ **

**_Kat, our boy made a joke today. Very droll, very snarky. Liam is making headway as he actually dragged him to a jazz concert on Starbase 12. And yes, I made sure Pike & his crew were nowhere nearby. Chris was kind enough to rearrange his crew’s Shore Leave schedule so I owe him. Eagle Scout Pike brushed off my thanks as he claims it was the least he could do for DelRosso. (Seriously, can we clone Pike’s character and psychically graft it on a few Starship Captains I know? Robert April must be so proud of his boy Pike. I will drop him a note to let him know that he ‘done good’.) _ **

**_I also caught the boys’ impromptu practice session though next time my command team would prefer not to have to crawl into a Jeffries Tube to hear them. I swear the angels would weep to hear him play his horn.   He’s also had cautious conversations with several of our new ensigns._ **

**_We may have turned a corner here as he’s actually eating his meals in the mess hall. I say again, we have sightings of him *eating in the Mess Hall*._ **

That was the last conversation, as based on the date, Tanaka had died shortly afterwards.

“Thank you, Janus, that was very informative. Do you have any Federation information on … Sylvia Tilly?” He kept his voice calm, captain-like after due to years of practice.  “Focus on Enterprise first, then a wider search.”

If he was a Starship captain, she was most likely one of his crew members and… and… and… oh fuck… oh fuck… bad choice of words… but still… fuck….  She was probably his Yeoman or an Ensign.  There was a taste of bile in his mouth as sweet Jesus Christ, their relationship couldn’t be defined as anything other than nonconsensual, drug induced….   ** _rape_**.

**_God, please no. Please, no. Please, God, I know you and I haven’t been particularly close since my mother died, but please, no. Please don’t let her be under my command. Please. It’s bad enough that she’s been forced indoctrinated into this façade, but if she was someone who I’ve sworn to protect…  because I’m pretty damn sure the Feds are significantly stricter with fraternization than the Tolerians are._ **

“No, Sir. I have no information on an Enterprise Crew member named Sylvia Tilly,” Janus assured him. “I have no information on any Star Fleet Personnel with the name of Sylvia Tilly.”

“Do you have any information on her?” He asked.

“Sylvia Tilly, Tolerian, bond mate to Christopher Pike, arrived on the Janus approximately six and a half day units ago.”

Time to test the search functionality, to see how wide the search result web truly was.

“Is there a doctor with the first name Phillip or Phil on the USS Enterprise?” he asked.

“There is a Philip Boyce on the USS Enterprise,” stated Janus.

“Record please,” he requested. “I need a photo.”

The white-haired Phil was scowling in his picture, but there was a merry twinkle in his eyes that Chris predicted an ability to raise hell on a daily… no… hourly basis. Oh hell, he **_knew_** Phil’s face but he **_didn’t_**.

“Janus, I need to access DelRosso’s personal messages. Please play the latest message from the Tolerian VayakandrosoitosoIm or however it is pronounced.”

_Heavily accented male voice stated, “I command you a pleasing day, Rafe.  I am still committed to conquering Federation Standard.”_

_Laughter._

_“Vaya, it is good to hear your voice. And I don’t think you’ve conquered Standard so much as you have beaten it into a cowering submission.”_

_“Language is continuously a fierce skirmish for me particularly this Standard. I am not silver-tongued and its meanings splits and tangles upon my tongue.”_

“End. Compare voice pattern of Vaya in this message to the message that you sent Singh earlier today. I need a percentage match please.”

“It is a 99.9743% match,” Janus informed him.

**_Ok, so the Feds... FEDERATION isn’t sending assistance._ **

“Any idea who he is?” Chris asked.

“He is a Tolerian,” Janus quickly answered.

“And?”  prompted Chris. He bit his tongue to prevent himself from adding, “I guessed that much.” Snark was lost on computers, afterall.

“He is the senior husband of his line marriage. His clan Kandranos has one of the seats on the Tolerian council, so a hypothesis is made that the senior wife of the clan is on the council. Also, there is an Ambassador Mikkos Kandranos that represented the Tolerians during their failed application to the Federation.”

“He used his patronymic, not his clan?” Pike questioned. “That means he speaks for himself, not his clan.”

Janus had no response, naturally.

He mentally reviewed what he knew of the Tolerians.  Tolerians had a slightly skewed birth sex/ratio. One woman for every five males, so their culture was matriarchically based.  Usual marriage ratio was a wife with multiple husbands and her word was law though some of the larger clans had line marriage with multiple wives in order of seniority with a plethora of husbands.  God, he had even joked with Tilly about her bringing in a junior husband but only after they had started their family.

He swallowed quickly at that thought.

“Current status of relationship between the Tolerians and the Breen, Tolerians and the Federation,” he requested.

“Tolerians and Breen are in a state of cold war with flareups over the disputed territories and reported captives. The Tolerian Empire’s application for membership to United Federation of Planets was denied. Diplomatic relationships between the two have been officially severed.”

**_So, the odds that the Tolerians are sending a couple warships to rescue us is piss poor.  We've got the assistance of just a single, rogue Tolerian._ **

* * *

 

When Chris returned to his quarters, there were candles lit everywhere.  There was a romantic dinner set up and Sylvia was wearing something that soft and silky and clung in all the sweetest of places.

**_Oh God, no. How do I handle this?_ **

“What’s with the candles?” he softly asked.

“I thought tonight… we could do… date night,” offered Sylvia. “I have to admit that I wasn’t sure exactly how long we’ve been bonded, but we’ve had mutiny, fire, coolant leak, insubordination, murder by electrocution, you supposedly getting knocked unconscious by our little blue doctor…Seriously, do you really think that I will **_ever_** believe that she managed to knock you unconscious?”

“It’s not something I will **_ever_** brag about,” he admitted.

She laughed, so he smiled.

“However, I checked my math and it confirmed that tonight is our one-week anniversary. However, I could be wrong. I thought that since it’s the longest that I’ve ever been bonded, that I would make tonight special.”

She looked at the floor and softly spoke, “You don’t look happy. You’ve wearing the serious Captain look. Did I do something wrong?”

“Sylvia… you have done nothing wrong. You are absolutely innocent, and that’s the problem,” he softly admitted.

Oh God, there was a single tear rolling down her face.

“I told you that I wasn’t that sexually experienced, but you reassured me that it was ok,” she whispered.  She roughly brushed the tear away but its sisters were soon rolling down her face. “I knew I should have gone down on you.”

And a kick to the balls.

“I probably wouldn’t have done it right… I mean, you had to guide me through everything because you didn’t like how I touched you.”

 ** _My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?_**  That was his next, completely irrational thought as it wasn’t as though he was being **_crucified_**.  No, his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

“Sylvia, no, no, no, I’ve always enjoyed you touching me, I have. I do,” he protested. “Please don’t cry. Please. Please. It’s just…I did some thinking and if I’m a Fed, that means our relationship was based on a series of lies. You couldn’t… fully… and knowingly consent to this… relationship between especially the … sexual aspect… so… so… this… has… been….”

He couldn’t voice the R word. He couldn’t, not with Sylvia hysterically sobbing as though he had broken her heart.

So being weak, he carried her to the bedroom where he physically consoled her until she fell asleep.  And he accepted the fact that he was utterly and completely damned.

**_Well, Tanaka, I think you’re wrong. Robert April wouldn’t be proud of how I’m fucking this up._ **

* * *

 

Admiral Katrina Cornwell groaned when she was paged as it was zero dark thirty in the AM.

“Voice only,” she requested.

“I’m sending this through a mutual friend as technically there is no communication occurring between our peoples.”

She recognized the voice, so she sat up and muffled her bedmate.

“Ambassador Kandranos?” she questioned.

“My operative has confirmed that your two missing personnel are on the Janus. The Council will not permit any assistance in a rescue attempt. However, my operative has gone rogue and has disappeared. My people will be **_annihilated_** if this incident bubbles into a full out war because of your Federation’s rejection of our application. Sleep well, Admiral. Kandranos out.”

“Well, he’s pissed,” Kat stated out loud.  She then exhaled slowly to center herself.  “Computer, please send a message to Commander Saru on the USS Discovery. Voice only.  Commander, I have received intel that confirm that Ensign Tilly is alive and is with Captain Pike. I will reach out to you later today with additional data.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

Commander Saru called Michael Burnham and Paul Stamets to give them the good news.

“I apologize for interrupting your sleep but Admiral Cornwell has just confirmed that Captain Pike and Ensign Tilly are alive and together. She will be updating us later with additional information once she knows more.”

Naturally, the two friends couldn’t refrain from checking to see who else was awake on the good ship Discovery with whom they could share the good news. Therefore, by the time the two met for breakfast, **_everyone_** knew. The dark mood on the ship had changed to one of hopeful optimism, as opposed to the pessimistic attitude that had previously permeated the ship’s atmosphere. Stamets being quite the wit, had declared it the ‘Oh Fuck, we lost **_another_** captain, we’re so not getting **_another_** ’ mood.

“They’re together,” Paul stated. He briefly smiled and then chuckled, “She’s probably driving him crazy while he figures out how to get them back here.  She won’t stop talking.”

Michael nodded her head and then smiled also.  

“She is very verbose, isn’t she?” She fondly admitted.

“Captain’s probably trying to figure out how to get her to shut her mouth.” Stamets then **_laughed_** for the first time since Hugh had been murdered.  

* * *

 

Christopher Pike did not sleep, as he had the strangest dreams that kept him from settling into a deep restorative slumber. One such dream was, in fact, a nightmare where he wore the goldenrod shirt while he was sitting with his legs spread wide in The Chair of Power. Ensign Sylvia Tilly of the exceedingly crazed red hair was giving him a blow job to end all blow jobs in front of the startled Fed crew of the USS Enterprise.  There was a very tall, exceeding thin, beyond merely displeased, working on thoroughly pissed, alien who wore the old uniform. The alien was appalled by the breach in dick decorum, and repeatedly and ineffectively enunciated, “ ** _Ensign Sylvia Tilly! Will you stop! That is not proper behavior on the bridge. CAPTAIN PIKE! YOU CAN NOT POSSIBLY CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR!_** ”

However, the _pièce de résistance_ was the Illyrian. She was a brunette, clad in goldenrod also, and the repulsed eye roll she bequeathed Chris made him wake as though she had physically slapped him. It was then that Chris realized that his nightmare was in fact **_reality_** and that Tilly had tied his hands to the bedpost with the fucking Tolerian bonding cords. Much to his escalating horror, he discovered Sylvia had a hitherto unknown knack for knots as he was securely restrained.

Not so much skill with blow jobs as she was being really rather **_fierce_** as though she was determined to blow his… mind… through sheer willful determination. Not that he didn’t enjoy a quick, fast fuck on occasion, but this was distinctively unTilly like behavior.

“Hey…” he hoped he didn’t sound … **_afraid_** … but he needed to be able to… well… walk by the time Tilly the Terror was done and that outcome appeared dubious at best. By the time she was done, he would be left in the hallway, maimed and crippled by her amatory enthusiasm, a warning to old men everywhere who were involved with younger women.  “Hey… I can’t reciprocate if you have my hands tied.”

If anything, his efforts at carnal de-escalation made her escalate her erotic exertion.

She was gonna kill him. Fortunately, he’d be stiff and dead, so he wouldn’t die of embarrassment.

Naturally, the universe decided that being stiff and dead wasn’t sufficient punishment for him, because that meant he had ESCAPED.  

At the pinnacle, at his Come to Jesus Moment ( ** _So sorry, Dad, but there were the bright lights and screams of deliverance that you always said would be part of the Rapture_** ) she didn’t kill him, no, not the over achieving Tilly who had decided to switch techniques and ride him like a rented mule.

She threw his back out. His back spasmed and then threw in the towel as it decided that Chris Pike was a fifty-something year-old asshole who should stick to women his own age.  Thank you very, very much.

Sweet God almighty. His back was out.

He was not having any little blue doctor, crooked tail or no crooked tail, treat him when he was in the state of complete déshabillé.

However, his back was **_out_**.

* * *

 

Most of the inner Tillys were sobbing hysterically and no one was in charge.  Sylvia just lay in the bed and struggled not to cry. Chris had been so incredibly sweet and affectionate with her after her meltdown when he had started to confess his fears over being a Fed and what that might mean for the two of them. Instead of being a partner, instead of being supportive.... she had just **_cried_** while he had endeavored to calm her unease.

**_Because she loved him. She had gone ass over tit into deep lust the first time they had met. With his dimples, the crooked smile and his calm demeanor. And oh, what a sweet ass. But now… now on this crazy ship, she realized that she was completely and utterly in love with him. Wholeheartedly, and she desperately wanted to have that horde of little red headed girls complete with their little brother who had his father’s smile._ **

**_You should have tried harder to be sexually adventurous. He’s experienced. You’re just so damn vanilla, bland and plain. No wonder he had to show you what he likes, because you’re fucking clueless and pathetic. He says he adores your curves and you hide them._ **

**_He did everything while you just lay on your back.  Christ, Tilly, how many times did Chris go down on you?  Have you reciprocated? No, you haven’t._ **

**_You get hysterical when he’s naked.  You don’t admire the view like any normal hot blooded woman, because he’s fucking hung and …. no, you just freak out. Seriously, are you even making an effort? You know damn well most of the women, half the men and the majority of the other sexes on this ship would bang him until the warp drive collapsed into a super nova._ **

**_What happens when he returns back to his Fed Ship? He’s not taking you, you frigid bitch. Not when they’re lining up in the corridors to service their Captain!_ **

**_WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU’RE NEVER HAVING HIS BABIES IF YOU FUCK THIS UP._ **

She needed to be bold, brave and courageous.

Sylvia decided that she’d give him the blow job of his life. If it killed her. It certainly would be the blow job of **_her_** life as it was the first time that she had given one.

He had joked about using their Bonding Cords as restraints… and she could… and she would… and… she’d figure out if she was supposed to well… spit or swallow… when it came to that.  So, Sylvia went to work with her typical all-in-enthusiasm.  Things had progressed extremely well, as hello! Chris was seemingly enjoying her efforts as he tried to convince her to untie him so he could reciprocate.

No, no, no.  She wouldn’t let herself be distracted by his sweet talking and his experienced hands. No, she was gonna blow his mind and utterly rock his universe. When things had almost come to a head, she decided to straddle him. That way she could watch his face at that moment… 

He gasped, loudly, and she freaked. Because it didn’t sound like a good gasp of pleasure, more of an exclamation of true pain.

* * *

 

Old man, naked, back spasming, captain of a starship, with a much younger, very naked woman on top of him.  Christ, Chris was pretty damn sure that they never mentioned this possibility in the Command Track Program even if he didn’t remember his attendance.  Plus, oh shit, it was also now time for their regularly unscheduled 3 AM maintenance disaster and the instruction guide was in a coma.

**_Janus, please, no emergencies tonight. Take the night off, get some sleep. You must be tired. I know I am._ **

Sylvia went from looking quite pleased with herself, to appearing quite worried.

“Did I hurt you?” she panicked. “Should I get the doctor?”

**_Oh HELL no!_ **

“No… no… but can you undo the restraints?” he requested. “Please?”

The warden granted his unconditional release so he then gingerly rolled on his side to face her, while he hoped that she couldn’t tell how much pain he was experienced during that maneuver. Once he was strategically positioned, he was deliberate and careful as he stroked her upper arm. That was a safe spot for him to touch, so when she had relaxed, he softly asked, “What was that all about?”

Sylvia Tilly was an utterly guileless creature.  Her blue eyes were deep enough to drown in and she was… embarrassed.

“I didn’t do it right?” she whispered.

“You did it absolutely wonderfully,” he gently lied. “Your enthusiasm surprised me. I thought we were taking certain steps… deliberately… You kinda skipped some of the course material there. You overachiever, you. Talk to me, Sylvia.”

He smiled, hoped he was dimpling, as Tilly had confessed that she loved his dimples. So he tried to only use The Power of the Dimples for Good.

“I got scared…” and he waited until she was comfortable continuing. “When you admitted that that you were a Fed. I wasn’t sure what that meant for me... us….”

“Not leaving you,” he assured her. He willed her to believe it but Sylvia, always full of self-doubts, didn’t.

“If you’re a Starship captain,” she began before she paused. “What does that make me?”

“I think you’re a Tolerian. Maybe a human adopted into a Tolerian clan but I searched the PADD that DelRosso gave me. It didn’t recognize you as a Fed; it said you were a Tolerian. But whatever happens, you’re coming with me, I swear. Two of us, together.”

“What if you are already married?” she whispered. “I find it hard to believe that someone hasn’t snatched you up.”

“Let’s ask it right now. It’s on the kitchen table, can you go grab it?” he asked, as he wasn’t moving in the foreseeable future.  “I’m exhausted, and quite content to fall asleep. You, on the other hand, seemed to be all fired up.  Go get it, and don’t hide.”

“It’s chilly,” she protested.

“Then hurry back with it,” he protested.

Chris was rewarded with a wonderful view of Sylvia’s naked curves both coming and going. She handed him the pad and he requested information even while she made herself comfortable in their bed.

“Janus, I’m requesting Demographics on Christopher Pike. Marital status?” That was the best place to start, he hoped.

“Single.” Sylvia exhaled in relief, but only slightly. He was an idiot, as he hadn’t considered that he might be… unavailable… in his real life.  Sylvia was still worried so they needed to investigate it further.

Therefore, he continued, “Has Christopher been married, widowed, divorced, separated, hand fasted, pledged, engaged, sexually enslaved or otherwise partnered in an association that might be qualified as marriage or long termed partnership by the Federation, Tolerian and any other culture that I have failed to mention?”

Sylvia mouthed, ‘Sexually enslaved’ and he just dimpled.

‘I’m really cute, it could happen,’ he mouthed at her which caused an epic eye roll of ‘Who you kiddin’ Pike?’

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and no,” the computer informed him.

“Any children that he’s reported?”  He prompted.

“None.”

“Any pending paternity, palimony claims or large transfers from his financial accounts? I’m asking about the transfers just in case I’m being blackmailed,” he explained to Sylvia who had the nerve to laugh.

The computer answered quickly, “No, no and no. However, I do notice several large deposits noted as ‘Poker Night Winnings- You cheated but I can’t prove it - Leland’.”

Sylvia merrily giggled.

“Leland seems to be a sore loser. Reminder me not to play Poker with him again.  Who is Christopher Pike’s contact in case of emergency?” Chris asked and waited for the response.

“Robert April.”

Sylvia pouted and Pike protested, “He’s my former commanding officer or so I’ve been told. Is Robert April married?”

“Sarah April, MD,” was the fast response.

“Ok, we’re good. I’m boring. I don’t do threesomes, too many elbows and knees,” he quipped. Then he turned serious, “I know Tolerians do line marriages, so if you want another husband, you can pick one out. Just after our first baby, ok?”

“I think I’m quite happy with you,” she admitted. She stroked his white (not gray, but white) sideburns, and smiled.

“Might want someone younger when my parts begin to fail. I am significantly older than you,” Chris stated. It was the honest truth and there was no way around it.

“Then we need to start working on babies,” she informed him.

“Not while we’re here,” he reminded her and himself, as he enjoyed their baby making attempts even if he shot blanks due to his contraceptive shot. “The situation isn’t safe. Have I reassured you that, to the best of our currently available resources, in my real life I am an old crotchety bachelor who is also a Star Ship Captain?”

Her kiss was answer enough for him, but he could also sense how she had noticeably relaxed.

“Get some sleep,” she protested. “I refuse to ever declare you crotchety.”

“I feel bad for that Christopher Pike,” he softly admitted.  “If you think about it, like I have. He doesn’t have you.”

Sylvia broke out into an ear to ear grin.

“Think about it, no pillow talk, no cuddling, no high-speed conversations where it takes me hours to fully digest what you said so I laugh long after the punchline has gone stale. Just an empty bed that he doesn’t share with anyone. He must be an utter bastard as a Captain, as he’s all alone with no one to help shoulder his burdens. So for the sake of my traumatized crew, you are coming with me, wherever I go.”

Tilly blushed, so he softly continued, “My crew members will be stopping you wherever you are and thanking you because the Old Man isn’t being a bastard. You’ll be getting curvier and curvier, before long it will be obvious to one and to all that I loved you so much that we made a baby. You will look absolutely adorable when you’re pregnant, Sylvia.”

Her eyes watered, and she whispered, “Really?”

“Really,” Christopher Pike assured her.


	15. Chapter 15

Chris dozed for the remainder of the night, his spasming back obligingly sending him painful reminders that he was an ancient idiot ever so often. Just in case he forgot. However, Sylvia slept the sound sleep of the sexually spent, so it was enough for him (and his pride!) just to watch her drool on her pillow.  And he pondered about the Real Christopher Pike, not the Tolerian/Human Brain Washed Hybrid who attempted to keep this ship in one piece, and he worried… if he would actually **_like_** the real Chris. Because God knows that he sometimes didn’t like himself **_now_** … but that other Chris didn’t seem particularly… likable… considering his former officer’s justifiable aversion.

And if he didn’t like the real Chris… would… Sylvia?

Whatever the answers to those would be, he’d protect her.

Be it from the Breen, the Tolerians or the Federation.

* * *

 

Sylvia kissed him goodbye before she went to work, and Chris glibly assured her that he’d behave.  That done, he realized that he needed to be seen by his favorite little blue doctor. It took several hours to ambulate to the MedBay due to well… putting his SHOES on… but he managed to arrive at Med Bay.  His stern face kept anyone from asking him any questions though he knew that they were wondering.

“You look like hell,” the doctor tartly informed him. She was curled up in a chair and drinking hot tea. Her tail appeared straighter but there was still a noticeable kink. “You also seem to be walking at a bit of slant.”

“It’s my shoulder. I think when you dislocated it, you didn’t put it back in correctly. I’ve got neck and back pain now,” he informed her.

“I didn’t dislocate your shoulder,” she softly protested even as she daintily sipped her tea.  Nessa was the picture-perfect example of blue innocence which fooled him not at all.

“You did, when you and Ylsa tried to pull me off the floor using my arm, it dislocated,” he reminded her.  “It made a very loud popping noise.”

There was a flicker of unease in her eyes, and Pike laughed because he was **_finally_** able to read her. “I never realized this, but when you lie, you turn **_pink_**.”

“I do not turn **_pink_**!” his favorite blue alien protested. “I am **_blue_**. There have been many a drunken Federation officer turned poets who thought they could describe me as Sapphire, Cobalt or Egyptian blue.  But I have never been declared to be any shade of pink. I can do a vision color test also, if you’d like.”

“Your ears,” he informed her.  For emphasis, he tapped his ears and smiled.  Then for further amusement as well, she _had_ dislocated his shoulder and it was time for payback, he stated, “Pink. Definitely pink.”

She covered her elfin ears that were tinged with a lovely shade of pink. “I’m not **_PINK_**!”

“Neck, back, shoulder pain. How many times did you drop me?” he questioned.  “Did you knock me out with your tongue?”

Her gasp of pretend shock was almost believable, if he hadn’t seen her use her prehensile tongue to give Devins a concussion. “I’m a **_doctor_** ,” she protested. “I’m not a barroom brawler.”

No, that was Rafael ‘Jawbreaker’ DelRosso.

“A little blue doctor, who with the assistance of a rather petite Deltan had to pull me off the floor,” he stated. “Just fix me up so I can walk, please? I won’t write you up this time.”

Who was he fooling? Who would he submit it to? Yeah, he’d save it for when they got back and he'd send it to Robert April. He and Susan would laugh their assess off that Chris had gotten knocked unconscious by a tongue slap.

Thankfully, she nodded.

In spite of her extracurricular, truculent activities, Dr. Nessa was a very good doctor.   She had him pain free in record time with a minimum of snarky comments. Phil could have learned a few things from her.  Whether Phil would have put them into practice, was highly doubtful. Then, Nessa began to give him the aftercare instructions, just because she cared, you know.

“I’ll talk to Tilly and tell her to keep your nighttime fun down to a few basic positions for the next week or so, but remember knees and hips, no lower back,” Nessa informed him.  Then she went into very graphic details about what he could and couldn’t do while Pike vainly wished for a supernova to explode or a hull breach. Heck, he’d even take a fire, as they hadn’t had a fire in days!

“You are having entirely too much fun with your Captain’s supposedly steamy sex life. Why?” Chris questioned in a very serious tone. 

“You **_stomped_** on my tail and broke it,” she explained.  “Now it’s **_crooked_**.”

“I hope I apologized,” Chris softly admitted.  “If I didn’t, please accept my sincerest apologies for stepping on your tail.”

“You did, repeatedly. It’s just now, there’s ligament and tendon damage and the cold environment makes it ache.” She pointed at the damaged crooked spot that was **_all his fault._**

“You need a tail specialist?” he asked. He winced the minute he said that.

Her eyes narrowed and for a moment, Chris felt fear when she licked her lips as though priming her prehensile tongue for an assault in answer to his insult.   “This is me, not laughing at the tall, cold blooded, pink Tolerian Star Ship Captain who **_viciously_** stomped on my tail. Seriously, next time Tilly throws your back out, just tell me.” She trilled then, so Pike tilted his head.

“We good then?” he asked.

“We’re always good, Captain. I just **_love_** making you blush. And you, my dear Captain, are pink. Very, very pink.” She trilled some more and Pike laughed.

“What’s the update on DelRosso?”

“Come with me,” she requested. “He’s doing better. Pressure is down. EEG looks better.”

“Still not awake?”  was his next question.

“I don’t know if he ever will. He needed someone who has actually performed brain surgery, not me.  The other docs, they had experience doing brain surgery, but not me. This is my **_first_** and **_last_** deep space assignment,” she dejectedly admitted.

“This won’t be your last space assignment, as I will get you and the crew home,” Pike promised her.

“Then I’m resigning my commission when I get back.  I don’t want to be a doctor anymore, I want be something else… anything else… maybe a… space pirate.” Nessa mock growled her future career plans at him, and he wisely didn’t laugh.

“You would be a frighteningly good one,” Chris dryly assured her.  “I’m scared.”

She looked up at him and shook her head, “Flatterer.”

* * *

 

DelRosso looked like hell. His eyes were swollen shut, he was vented and surrounded by various monitors.  There was unfamiliar music with a male singing that loudly played overhead and Pike tilted his head, “What is that? I don’t recognize it.”

_“'T ain't what you do; it's the way that you do it. That's what gets results.”_

“Emerson used to quote that song all the time as he wanted everything done the proper way, the Federation way. It became a catchword for everything around here.” She waited for a second for his response and when he said nothing, she explained, “That’s Emerson singing, though he normally played the clarinet. In a couple minutes, DelRosso will start playing.  I noticed that his brain waves seem to perk up when it’s a song that Emerson and he played, so we’re listening to what Janus had recorded of them. Plus, the drums’ vibrations on these songs drives the Breens’ helmet sensors crazy. However, I must delightedly confess that I saw a Breen have a literal break down due to Emerson’s clarinet solo in “Rhapsody in Blue”.  It was simply beautiful, and … **_blue_** …”

She gyrated in what he assumed was her culture’s version of dancing and her tail swung happily, even while she mouthed the words.  And for the record, her little blue tail wasn’t crooked. Not at all. “The music is rather catchy, Captain. I’d ask you to dance but you do have a history of **_stomping_**.”

For added guilt, she made a series of stomping motions as she boogied around him even while expertly inspecting and adjusting the various monitors to her satisfaction.  Chris noticed that she gently tucked in DelRosso as his blanket was slightly askew.

“I need him to wake up,” he softly informed her. Nessa stopped dancing and her tail drooped. “Not now, but within the next week or so.”

“I don’t know what’s left of him in there,” she admitted. “It might be a kindness to let him slip away.”

“He has information I need if we’re going to get home,” he explained. He looked at her, really, guesstimated her age, rank and how long it had probably taken her to earn her position there.  “By time spent on this ship, you’re just right after DelRosso aren’t you?  You’ve been on this ship for… what… twenty-three months? Maybe a little longer? Everyone has been here less than a year. You’re an earlier rotation than Singh’s group.”

She peered up at him, and appeared uncertain.

“So, of everyone on this ship, you would know him best,” he prompted.

“You’re his former and current commanding officer, Sir. I think that provides you with insight on him that I lack,” Nessa informed him.

A rather surprisingly astute comment from someone who pretended to be not particularly perceptive meant he was on to something.

“Recent events seem to prove that I never knew him particularly well,” he confessed.  “And you’re one of his chief lieutenants. Probably, you are the chief minion because the Breen would underestimate you as you’re small, female and blue. They’d think Nirav, maybe Ylsa… but not our friendly little blue doctor in Sick Bay. By the way, I noticed your tail wasn’t crooked when you were dancing just now.”

Her eyes narrowed, and in a very stern voice, she informed him, “Follow me.”

He did and he found himself in the Janus’ morgue. Full to the brim and then some, and there were various pictures and names scrawled in multiple languages on the various drawers. Locker 4B drew his eyes, as it was covered with multiple pictures of a happy couple, smiling in civvies.  EMERSON, TANAKA were the names on the drawer.

The room felt off, as though he was in a crowded turbolift, crammed full of people… living people… certainly far more than just the two of them.  For a moment, he remembered the raw rage when he first stepped on the Janus, as it was echoed here, so very strongly that he had to take a deep breath to calm his nerves. Then unexpectedly, the ferocity eased back, as if ordered to stand down. It was still there, but highly contained.

But it was **_cold_**. He had been too many morgues to count over the years… but this one… felt cold enough to see his breath.

“Captain, Emerson’s in locker 4B, right next to Tanaka. He adored her, and she made one too many comments about running off to Risa with him. Plus, they’d always finish each other sentences, so I decided to keep them together. Now, the Breen never come in here, and I can’t stay here for long. What question do you want to ask me?”

“He was contacted by a … Vaya. Any idea if that’s a good thing or a bad thing? How much help will he be? The two of them chatted every day before the Breen arrived from what I can tell,” Pike questioned.

“I don’t know anything about his time with the Tolerians. He might have gone a bit native, because he wasn’t happy to be back on the Janus at first. He just wanted to serve out his tour and get the hell out.  After the Archimedes incident… where he broke the quarantine, I think he was just… worn-out…”  She looked up at him, and shook her head, “You still don’t have all your memories, do you? You’re not the Pike we need right now.”

“I have my memories,” he protested.

“Then you would know what **_really_** happened on the Archimedes. Anyway, I’m cold,” she informed him. “And I hate this room as it’s full of the unhappy dead. Whenever I come in here, I can **_hear_** them.  Emerson’s the loudest. You’d think after being decapitated that he wouldn’t be able to scream as long and long as he does. The senior staff is in here, the rest of the crew I have in a makeshift morgue on deck six.  They’ve moved on so it’s quiet down there, but the Command Staff feel that they failed their crew so they’re… refusing… to move on from the ship.”

“Or maybe, they can’t move on.”

She put her hand on the locker that contained several medical staff in a gesture of farewell. “Not to add any more pressure to your already quite complicated life, but they’re quieter now that you’re in the room. Tanaka recognized you.”

“I’ll get the crew home,” he promised, though he possessed doubts that anyone besides Nessa heard him.  Yet the pressure in the room seemed to ease even more and yes, the room grew warmer after his promise. Nessa waited for him to acknowledge the change, but he refused. 

He walked her out of the morgue but he had to ask, “Do you **_really_** hear them?”

“Emerson is tremendously vocal, in life and in death,” was her soft response. “And I saw your face when you stepped in the room, you **_felt_** them, didn’t you? Their anger, their despair?”

He said nothing, as Starship Captains do not believe in ghosts.

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Pike,than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” the doctor informed him.

* * *

 

Christopher Pike then spontaneously inspected the various departments, and received updates on the two key issues – hull and bulkhead integrity and the warp drive.  After being productive, he invited Singh in for a private conversation in his Ready Room or one that he hoped would be private.

“The warp configuration,” Chris began. “It’s….oddly configured. There’s a great deal of damage down there, and I still don’t have any idea how you ended up here.”

Singh said nothing and Pike prompted him again.  “Look, take away the Tolerian tattoos, and I’m Star Fleet. You have to trust me. Nothing about this ship makes sense; you’ve got a neural interface…”

Chris paused and waited for Singh to speak.

“The ship was upgraded and rushed into production because of the Klingon-Federation war,” Singh explained. “There was a neural interface with the ship’s computer so the senior officers could directly link with the Janus for faster decisions as the Federation was getting slaughtered. Only ones that I know who interfaced with her were DelRosso and Emerson,” Singh admitted.  “DelRosso was interfaced when Captain asked us to go to Warp. The Janus had a new configuration of the nacelles so a ship could move faster and farther.  It was the first time we tried to break Warp 3.”

The young man paused and looked away from Pike. He focused on the wall, and began to speak in dry, matter of fact tones which underscored how much trauma the young officer had endured. “The warp coil blew and from our best guesses, we created an unstable wormhole which deposited us here. Then everything went to directly to hell when the Breen showed up shortly afterwards.”

Pike turned away from Singh to give him a chance to regain his composure.

“What do we have for weapons?” Pike asked.

Their weapons cache was pitifully small. Sonic grenades, a plethora of hand phasers, a dozen Mark Three phases plus several Mark Threes that had been modified to deal with the Breen’s armor.

“We’ve got thirty-eight on our side, and fifteen Breen. I was hoping for more in the manner of weapons,” Pike admitted.

“We’ve got you, Sir. I almost think it might be an unfair fight for Breen,” Singh stated with a startlingly sincerity. “However, I must express that I don’t find myself feeling any sympathy for them. Once you give us the word, the crew will fight. I promise you that we will fight hard, Sir. We’ll make you proud of us, Sir.”

Chris inwardly groaned as Singh’s eyes shined with the fervor of a devotee.  He had nearly pushed Singh into a psychotic break and the kid still thought Christopher Pike was a miracle worker.

“Already damn proud, Singh. You’re dismissed,” Pike stated.

Well, fuck. It seemed that everyone, the living, the dead and whatever the hell that **_energy_** was in the Senior Officer’s morgue were anticipating that Christopher Pike would pull a miracle of out his ass and have the kids home in time for dinner. (Here’s looking at you, DelRosso for starting that rumor).  He decided to grab something from the mess hall and deliberately ignored the message on his PADD from one little blue doctor that started off with “ ** _YOU BETTER NOT BE IN YOUR READY ROOM, CAPTAIN, AS I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU TO REST_**...” and went steadily downhill from there.  To his unease, he noticed that when the Feds… sorry Federation crew members would spot him walking down the hallway, their conversations would stop and they would stand straighter.

“At ease,” he kept repeating over and over again.

Needless to say, by the time he returned his quarters, his internal stress level was sky high. (Completely self-induced as Phil was wont to inform him, but damn it, everyone was looking at him like he was about to walk on water so yes, he felt justified in being stressed. Fortunately, the food replicators were working, so nobody had dropped off five fish and two loaves of bread for him to multiply and distribute to the hungry masses. Though he wished he was able to turn water into whiskey as he needed a quick dram.),His back was stiff and his neck and shoulders were in pain. Sylvia took one look at him, grabbed his tray and pointed to the sonic shower.

“Go take a sonic.  Doc says she’ll be here momentarily with a hypospray or three. She saw you in the Mess Hall and her words were, ‘he looked like leftover algae reheated up and served for leftovers, so go. Sonic. Keep your shirt off, as I have some massage oil for your back and shoulders.”

“I think I’m in love,” he softly quipped and he was rewarded with her bright smile and an allover blush.

“I know I am,” she softly admitted.

“So, it’s two of us then,” he teased. "That's very promising."

* * *

 

When he exited the sonic, he was surprised that it was only Sylvia in their quarters. There were a few hyposprays on the table so she motioned for him to sit in front of her.

“She had an issue so she got called away,” she explained.  “Why did you put your shirt on?”

He leaned towards her and kissed her.  That done, he dryly quipped, “I didn’t want her to ogle me in front of you. I don’t want you getting jealous and killing our only doctor. I really think she finds me quite attractive as she’s constantly stripping me naked whenever I’m unconscious. We need to find her a ‘friend’ so my virtue remains intact.”

Tilly snorted, so he explained, “I’m yours, completely.”

“You should have told me that you hurt your back last night,” she protested even as she hyposprayed him. However, she bequeathed him a kiss after each injection because he was being her very brave captain.

“I didn’t want you to think I was… old,” he admitted. “I am… older… than you… and really… I prefer not to remind you of that. I’m worried you’ll start searching out the crew for your next husband.”

“DelRosso’s single,” she quipped and she laughed at the disgruntled look on this face.  “No, no, I’d need a much bigger bed due to your larger than life… personalities.”

“Oh, that is what we’re calling… it…?  My…. Personality?” Pike quipped, which earned him a pursed lip of disapproval.

Sylvia continued, “And while the Federation might be willing to overlook your involvement with me as I’m Tolerian and not a Fed, I don’t think they’ll agree to you having multiple spouses. Besides, I’m still amazed that you’re all mine.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” he admitted which caused her to shake her head. “Ok, talk to me. Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because you’re amazing,” Sylvia admitted.  She looked away from him and played with her hair which meant she felt insecure. “You’re a Star Ship Captain and you’re fucking **_hot_** as fuck.”

“Thank you,” he quipped. “I think that was a compliment.”

He was rewarded with Tilly laughing so he was happy.

“You’re funny and you’re … nice to me. Even though the Breen put us to together so I’d distract you from figuring out you were a Fed, you don’t blame me for being annoying.”

“I must confess that I find you very sexually distracting,” he admitted complete with that little bad boy smile that made her ovaries go kabloomy and all her inner Tillys wanted to jump him then and there thank you very, very much. “However, why would you think that I’d find you annoying?”

“I don’t know when to shut up. I talk entirely too much and too loud… and…yet you like spending time with me.”  She whispered that and Chris moved towards her.  He took her hand in his and he began to stroke it with his thumb.

“Actually I ADORE spending time with you, but go on,” he prompted.

“I’m not used to that. I mean my own mother didn’t want to spend time with me, and… when we did, she always criticized my hair, what I was wearing or what I was eating. She truly believed that she was improving me but she just destroyed my self-esteem. I was always the odd, quirky kid with no friends. Yet, you’re the type of guy that was always unobtainable for me, because you were way out of my league. The popular kid who everyone wanted to be their best friend.”

Chris smiled and nodded his head. “I suppose you won’t believe that I was pretty unpopular at that age. I was this lanky kid who wanted nothing more than to fly. I was Mr. UnPopular.”

Tilly gasped, and blurted out, “What happened?”

“Life happened,” he stated.  He pondered for a bit and then admitted, “I think I lost my virginity when I was in my third year at the Academy.”

“No!” Sylvia protested.

“Yeah. Kat and Philippa got me really polluted one night and wanted to find out if my packaging was pristine as apparently, they had placed a wager on it. It was right after my mother had died, my father and I were once again… not talking and… Oh, this is really the embarrassing part, I hysterically cried after they deflowered me. I really freaked them out because they weren’t anticipating **_that_** reaction. They were hoping for more of a ‘Thank you, Jesus, that was amazing, let’s go for another round’ moment, not hysterical grief. I had bottled everything up because I just refused to grieve in front of my father, as he was dispensing metric tons of ‘She’s in a better place’ bullshit to any sympathetic listener.”

They kissed for a bit, long and slow as Tilly was trying to be careful of her Captain Dimples.

“Let’s take this elsewhere, shall we?” Chris asked, complete with a very suggestive leer.

“What was your mom’s name?”  was her next question even as Chris took her hand, and tilted his head towards their bedroom.

“Willa. It’s Earth German for devoted protector,” he explained.

“So.. William, Liam, Bill, Twyla, Wilhelmina,” she sounded out the names and Chris’ eyes grew suspiciously moist.

“Baby names?” he whispered.

“First one we’re naming after her,” she decided in a unilateral decision. “We are not naming any of our children after Kat or Philippa, though I will remember to thank them for removing your packaging so very carefully.”

He gifted her a side eye that spoke volumes and he shook his head, “I’m also planning on meeting your mother only after we started baby number one. I will let her know how absolutely amazing her daughter is. I will regale her with how Sylvia Tilly is brilliant, kind and compassionate, that she has a heart the size of the universe. I will also overshare with her in extremely graphic details how you threw my back out giving me oral sex as it will give her an attack of the vapors.”

Sylvia laughed and then she shook her head. In a very soft voice, she admitted, “I love you, Chris.”

“I love you too,” he admitted.  “Now let’s go to bed, have some fun, make some noise before I fall asleep.”

“Can I try going down on you again?” she hopefully asked.

“No, no, no,” he playfully protested.  “I am not getting stripped by Dr. Nessa two nights in a row as it will give me a reputation for being a slut.”

“And Captain’s reputations are everything,” Sylvia agreed.

“It’s not what you do it, it’s the way you do it,” he agreed.

“You’re saying that **_now_**? It’s the ship’s motto or something…” she began but never finished as Chris guided her the bedroom.

-=-=

The days and nights passed quickly with Chris focusing on the necessary repairs plus planning a successful mutiny under the ever-present watchful eyes of the Breen, with Sylvia insistent on ensuring that Chris wasn’t all Captain and no fun. One night after Captain Tilly had ruthlessly ordered her clumsy ensign in how to sexually satisfy her, they were both resting in the blissful afterglow when he was paged.

“It’s Nessa. DelRosso’s awake and he wants to talk.”

-=-

Chris nodded his head at Singh and Nessa who were bedside. That done, he faced DelRosso even while his mind categorized that the music playing had a lot of drums.

The commander whispered, “Chris?”

Well, he’d let protocol slip for now.

“Yeah, I’m here. How are you feeling?”

“Like I got my head drilled without anesthesia,” Rafe admitted with a dry laugh which caused him to painfully cough.  He spoke in a slow, steady pace, a far cry from their last conversation. “I checked my messages when I woke.  I understand we’re having company in a few days.”

Yes, the mutiny was tentatively planned for eight days.

Chris nodded and then Rafael slowly exhaled, “We need to change the date. The Breen have been watching you and the crew.”

He inhaled and exhaled, and then he continued, “They’re planning on throwing you out of the airlock two days from now. Janus just overheard them planning them on bringing someone new in. You do good work, Chris. Too good as the Breens noticed that the crew is **_yours_**  now. Vaya will be here tomorrow and he’ll access the ship through the airlocks as I’ve sent him the codes. He’s willing to fight, Chris, and he’s bringing assorted toys. I can keep him hidden until the fight breaks out.”

Rafe closed his eyes and exhaled once more. “I won’t be able to help physically, but I’ll interface with the Janus, so we can deep space the Breen with hull decompression, adversely affect them by cutting off turbolifts, and whatever else I can think to do. Crew will need to be limited to key areas, so you can fight. Chris, they can’t get their hands on the warp core and they can’t get the computer core. You have to blow the ship before they get their hands on it.”

“I understand,” Pike assured him. “Can everyone leave please? I’d like to speak to the Commander.”

They shuffled off and Pike sat down next to DelRosso. “First of all, I need to clear the air between us. I deeply apologize for your less that pleasant tour on the Enterprise and my comments on your performance.  In reference to last week’s incident. I can’t even apologize as there is no excuse for my actions.”

DelRosso softly coughed a laugh. “Really? You’re apologizing for that? Now? Fuck me, I must be dying.”

Pike softly chastised, “Language.”

And both officers laughed before Rafael offered a soft, “I know that you’ll get us home, Chris. You’ll take care of our crew, wontcha?”

“I swear.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always this is a chance for me to experiment. There's a beginning, and an end, and skip in the middle when the mutiny is discussed.

**The Mutiny - Planning Stages - USS Janus**

 

The plans revised and finalized (HA!)  for the following day’s mutiny, Pike found himself, rather strangely, at peace with his decisions.  His nerves had settled down once the hard choices had been made, the senior troops informed, the weapons caches located and inventoried. Singh had produced five communicators that had been modified to variate their communication frequencies randomly so the Breen would have to work to listen to them.  

The mutiny would happen, and God help them, they’d win.

If they didn’t win, the decision on what to do then had also been made.  However, that weighty decision had been discussed only between him and DelRosso.

As had been the conversation on the strong possibility of Federation fatalities. Chris firmly stated that none was the only acceptable option while DelRosso bluntly reminded him that there was a dearth of senior officers who had seen successful combat and that Pike was being perhaps too optimistic on the abilities of their crew. On that point, they both privately agreed to disagree as their armistice was still fragile.

“My suggestion is to put Vaya in charge of the group Devins is leading.  He’s got a great deal of experience with the Breen, including hand to hand combat. Devins could be a good officer in a few years, but right now, he’s too traumatized to make the smart decisions. To review, we have the following squad leaders; you, Singh on the bridge, Ylsa, Devins guided by Vaya, Tilly in engineering and Nessa in medical,” DelRosso crisply explained.

“This... Tolerian…. What is his skill set?”  Pike asked. Let him be useful, **_please_**. And let him bring fifty of his closest friends and family.

“He was one of the senior officers on the ship on which I was stationed. Tactically, he’s crazy brilliant as he’s pulled off some insane stunts.  Good mechanic, damn good field medic, can insert a chest tube, can also field amputate a leg.”

Pike winced.

“Yeah, but he’s still married to his patient, so it’s all good. I even saw the two of them dancing afterwards, though it had been a couple years since he took off the leg. You also traded me to him for a case of whiskey, Pike,” DelRosso tersely reminded him of the story that Pike would never **_ever_** live down and sometimes at night, Pike pondered if he really wanted to remember that legendary trade.  “A single, **_solitary_** case of whiskey. I think I’m worth more.”

There was definite amusement in DelRosso’s eyes.

“So, quartermaster and personnel resources experience then?” Pike quipped. “And yes, if he offers to trade again, I’m starting at fifteen cases.”

DelRosso snorted a dry laugh and shook his head. “One case. **_One case_**. They were willing to offer up to five, and you were like, nope, one’s good, get him the hell off my ship. You didn’t even ask him to throw in some bitters.”

“I drink my whisky straight,” Pike confessed with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Hmph. Anyway, engineering and medical can be encapsulated once they clear the area of the Breen. I’ll be in the Computer Core with the Janus. I’m in no condition to lead a squad, I’m afraid but I can work with her.”

They hashed out the details some more and then DelRosso shook his head, “I’ll add the violations of General Article 15 and General Article 17 to my ever-expanding list of offenses. Singh will need to remand you and me into custody the minute we enter Federation territory, so the Court of Inquiry can get their pound of flesh. From personal experience, try to archive any evidence that might save your ass. Doc’s got all your medical details from when you first stepped on board, including the fact that the Breen had drugged you. We need to wean you off that shit, Chris, but it has to be done carefully.”

DelRosso’s tone was quite serious, Pike realized.

“These are extenuating circumstances,” Pike softly protested.

“Doesn’t matter one goddamn bit to those bastards. I found that out after the shitstorm on the Archimedes,” DelRosso sighed and rubbed his head.  “I’ll do my best, Captain.”

“Of that, I have no doubt,” Pike informed DelRosso.  He stood then and extended his hand, “Thank you, Commander.”

DelRosso hesitantly shook Pike’s hand after a noticeable deliberation.

“I would hope that after all this, we might be able work together in the future,” Pike tentatively offered. “Third time is the charm, I’ve heard.”

DelRosso stared at Pike for the longest time, and Pike wondered if perhaps he’d end up with a broken jaw. However, DelRosso then slowly nodded his head with a soft, “We’ll see what the Board says. I may be facing thirty years.”

“I guess I can assume that’s not a hell no,” quipped Pike. “Let’s be totally honest, I really see things being better next time. I think after a truly horrible start, we’ve hit rock bottom here. Nowhere to go, but up.”

That jest earned loud laughter from DelRosso.

Pike made his rounds of the ship, spoke to everyone including the various Breen. It was something that he always did off shift – though with having only 2 (and a ½ if you counted the still exceedingly nervous Ensign T’Seng) Feds who he trusted sitting in the Chair, he didn’t have that much downtime.  Hopefully, post mutiny, DelRosso would be up to taking a shift or three.

Pike returned to his quarters where Tilly pounced the moment he walked into the room. She was exceedingly gentle with him, no doubt worried that she’d break him again, but he could sense her desperation as though she feared it would be their last time.   For that reason, he endeavored to give her the best sex of her life.

In afterglow, Tilly turned serious, and grabbed his face. In a voice, he had privately declared her Captain Killy voice, she sternly informed him, “Not to give you any additional pressure, but our future children’s lives are completely and utterly dependent on you winning our freedom tomorrow.”

“You and I will both survive tomorrow,” he promised with all the assurance he could muster.

She didn’t answer, instead she clung to him.

“It’ll be ok,” he promised. He rubbed concentric circles on her back until they both fell asleep.

 

**_The Mutiny of the Janus Remembered on the USS Discovery_ **

**_(aka Kat Cornwell tries to get Christopher Pike to talk about what happened)_ **

 

_Later, when Captain Christopher Pike was forced to discuss the mutiny in great detail for the Board of Inquiry, for Admiral Cornwell, he found that he … **couldn’t**.  _

_He could only answer questions._

_Yes, the mutiny had occurred. Yes, they had moved against the Breen. Yes, he had a Tolerian on board who had fought against the Breen. No, he hadn’t known who the Avenging Angel was, only that the Tolerian had been the only one who had answered the Janus’ dire requests for any and all assistance._

_Yes, he had meant it the way it sounded.  They had been left to die and so people, good, young people, had died.  So, yes, he would have willingly taken Vaya’s assistance even if he had known who he was._

_Yes, did he need to repeat it? People had died._

_Yes, he was exhausted._

_Yes, he was still recovering._

_Yes, Yes. Yes, Yes. **Yes**._

_He couldn’t voice the horror of seeing young ensigns dying on his watch, under his command, all the while they yelled, **‘It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it’** in honor of their dead XO. _

_Of the Breen who had decided to space him and THE ENTIRE FEDERATION CREW earlier rather than later, so instead of twenty Breen, there were easily a hundred on board._

_Of Devins screaming, “This is for **TANAKA** ,” while his squad attacked a numerically superior legion of Breen who were attempting to access the Computer Core.  _

_Of an unfamiliar, accented voice announcing, “I am in dire need of assistance on Level Five, Rafael.” Then soon followed by a soft, “No reason to hurry now. I’m the only one left alive, Rafael.”_

_Kat Cornwell poked and prodded him until he at last gave her a tidbit of information._

_“What bothers you most about the entire incident, Chris?” Kat asked. “There must be something that troubles you the most.”_

_He thought about the dead, about the wounded, the smell of cauterized flesh, of ozone and smoke, of DelRosso,.. which led to poor, poor Sylvia …no, he couldn’t permit himself to think of her as Sylvia, not anymore, she was **Ensign** Tilly… and he had… he had… he had…REPEATEDLY **to her** … and… and…  and he locked down that thought HARD… because he couldn’t handle that guilt right now or possibly ever, and to shut Kat up, because she’d poke him until he exploded, he finally admitted a rather inane, “Janus played music during the mutiny.”_

_“Music?” For a wonder, Kat went silent and didn’t press for an answer._

_“Rhapsody in Blue,” Chris admitted. “I desire to never hear that song again.  There were a couple others that she played during the fight, but that was the first.”_

_The shrink paused for a moment, and thankfully she didn’t ask why he had requested **that** song be played for the Janus’ crew mass funeral.  _

_“Any reason why DelRosso picked that tune?” Kat prompted._

_“He didn’t, as he was… glitched.. by then. He had interfaced with the computer and…  the data stream just…overloaded him. Doc had warned him not to interface with the Janus and he decided to do so anyway. I had… actually… rather… hoped to work with him again…”_

_He stared a spot that only he could see, and said nothing more._

_Kat nodded her head in sympathetic understanding of the foibles of executive officers, and then prompted, “You said Janus picked the tunes.”_

_“She did.  Doc said they were recordings of Emerson and DelRosso. Plus, the syncopated rhythms played havoc on the Breen’s sensors. She played the music **loud** and you could feel the walls shake. It was… fucking… surreal.”_

_Combat with a soundtrack, God help him._

_“You make it sound as though you thought the Janus was sentient?” Kat prompted._

_He nodded his head. Once._

_“I think she was. There were… decisions made… during the mutiny that…I know I did not make. There were spontaneous hull decompressions of corridors that spaced dozens of Breens. Random occurrences   that saved Federation lives. Once is lucky, twice is a coincidence, but the sheer number of circumstances of barely beating the odds was because we were getting help from someone… something….  She blasted into warp in mid-mutiny, blew her engines to hell in the process to escape the incoming Breen warship and I didn’t order that ….because I was too busy fighting to know that they had sent another warship once they realized that they were losing control of the ship.”_

_Longer pause, before Pike spoke, “The XO…. Emerson… had an interest in Artificial Intelligence.  From what I could pull from the logs, he spent a great deal of his free time with her, discussing music, playing chess and discoursing about whatever tickled his fancy at the time. I think something… sparked… there. Emerson and DelRosso cultivated it… probably as a joke from the little I knew of them… but it blossomed.”_

_“I know… there’s only officially seven who died during the mutiny… but there were actually eight.”_

_“The Janus?” Kat asked._

_Chris nodded._

_“Chris, you did an amazing job. You got as many home as you could. You were drugged and indoctrinated, and you **still** got people home.”_

_He stared straight ahead and shook his head, “Tell that to DelRosso, tell that to Ensign Tilly. I’d like to be dismissed now, Admiral.”_

_Naturally, Kat wasn’t having any of that shit._

_“You need to forgive yourself, Chris.”_

_Forgive himself? Forgive himself? After forcing… because there was no fucking way Sylvia Tilly, all of twenty something years, willingly wanted to have sex with him. Once, let alone multiple times in various positions._

_Even if they tried to smooth it over by claiming it was the drugs, the brain washing, he had nightmares where he saw Sylvia’s horrified face when she realized that she had fucked her captain. Repeatedly.  That she had given him oral sex repeatedly. He had moved towards her, in an misguided attempt to reassure her that it would be ok, that he’d protect her… because there was no way in hell she could believe that she was at fault… and she had moved away from him, as She. Was. Terrified. Of. Him._

_“I… damaged… Ensign Tilly…. Nearly destroyed her career… and she’s out of the Command Track Program…”_

_“Temporarily,” inserted Kat. “We couldn’t have her in the program with you as the Captain overseeing it. She doesn’t hold you responsible for anything, Chris. She spoke in your defense as did DelRosso.”_

_Chris bit his lip, hard, and tasted blood._

_“Yeah, that’s why she ran for the hills the minute she got the chance, why nobody will tell me where the hell she is,” Chris barked. “I can’t even get confirmation that she’s still in Star Fleet, Kat. Why won’t you tell me that much? I need to know that she’s ok, that she is being helped, and nobody will tell me a goddamn thing, Kat! I need to know that she is ok, Kat!”_

_He stood when he spoke, and he realized that he had raised his voice._

_A serene Kat merely nodded her head, and exhaled. “This is good, Chris. You’re angry. You’ve been locking down your emotions since you came back Ensign Tilly is still in Star Fleet. That’s all I’ll confirm, because I don’t even know where she is. She wants some time to recover, and you have to respect that, Chris.”_

_“I never meant to hurt her,” he whispered. “But I did…. But I did.”_

Immediate Post Mutiny – USS Janus

 

The alarms were blaring, loudly in the hopes that someone would notice them long enough to silence them. Janus had just spontaneously warped out of the Breen territory and stopped hard in the middle of nowhere, leaving the ship at a distinct sloping tilt about five degrees off a horizontal line.  And the Big Band music blared at full volume.

“Tilly, who ordered the ship to Warp?” Pike asked as he raced towards deck 5 where Devins was… had been located. Behind him were Lt. Singh and a squad of personnel who were struggling to keep up with his pace.  “Can you convince Janus to turn off the music?”

“No one did, Sir,” Tilly reported. She was on the bridge and safe, thank God. “We’re trying to stop the music, but the computer is not responding to commands right now.”

“So, you’re saying that the ship spontaneously decided to go to warp in the middle of a fire fight?  Speak to T’seng and find out where we ended up. Also confirm that there are no Breen left on board,” Pike announced.

He stopped once they reached the closed corridor, sharply gestured towards the kids who were following him.  After a quick review of the sensors that confirmed his worst fear that was only one person alive, and it wasn’t any of his crew’s biosignatures, Pike softly announced, “Mr. Singh, please take the team to medical.  We will need four body bags and stretchers.”

Singh blanched and nodded his head.

“We won’t need the doctor,” Pike added. “Singh, please assist the team in gathering the equipment.”

He seemed as though he wished to protest but Pike shook his head once. He wouldn’t let Singh see this. Not now, which is why he had brought the body bags. Hopefully, he'd have the crew bagged before his officers returned. 

Pike waited until the kids… no… officers…. followed his orders and left the area. They were battle seasoned officers, Pike reminded himself, though half of them didn’t need to shave with any regularity.

“Vaya, it’s Captain Pike. I’m coming in, don’t shoot,” he announced. “Do you hear me?”

Pike waited and then repeated it once more.  He paused, counted to fifty, and then entered a bloody massacre as there was blood and body fluids everywhere. The Tolerian was wearing blood splattered armor and his face shield was down so he was a complete enigma to Pike.  He was also slumped against the wall, surrounded by some pretty heavy armaments and … Devins… the security officer… whose face would now never be free from acne, was lying next to him, along with three other crew members.  There was a score or more of… decapitated… (DECAPITATED?!?!?! DECAPITATED?)  Breen in the hallway, and Pike noticed that in front of each of his crew there were a small memorial cairn of Breen helmets, weapons and armor. He also observed that each of his crew had been carefully positioned so they were supine with their arms crossed over their chests and that their faces had been arranged into a semblance of deep sleep.

He also noted that Devins had bled out, and that most of his blood was on the Tolerian who had been unsuccessful in staunching the blood loss.

The Tolerian bowed his head and softly spoke, “They died well, Captain, with limitless courage. I grieve with you for their loss. Truly, I know of few who could have taken down an entire Breen squad.”

Pike swallowed once before he was able to acknowledge the truth in his statement with a simple head nod.

“Where is my brother, Rafael?” The Tolerian questioned.

“He’s not responding,” Pike admitted. “I’ve sent a team down to the Computer Core.”

Vaya nodded in tired recognition of what that possibly meant and tapped his helmet so it exposed his face. His dark face was heavily tattooed in a multitude of colors and he appeared quite perplexed when he glanced at Pike.  Though Pike would swear that Vaya also appeared to **_recognize_** his facial tattoos.  Not just him, but the tattoos. Vaya then asked, “Was your tattooist both drunk and insane? I know someone who can fix that.”

“It’s a very long story,” Pike explained as he offered Vaya a hand to stand.

“I find that an all too familiar occurrence with the Federations,” sighed Vaya once he stood.  He was a head shorter than Pike but he held the air of command about him.  He rotated his head and pulled his long fishtail braid of white hair free from underneath his armor. “I decapitated the Breen as I needed to ensure that their suits weren’t sending data to their home base. The communication devices are housed in the neck areas of their suits so I needed to sever the connections. I needed to do it quickly. I hope that I was quick enough.”

Pike nodded his head in tired understanding, because **_naturally_**. Nothing was ever easy on the doomed ship known as the Janus.

The Tolerian gestured toward the dead Federation personnel.

“I was not certain if you bury your warriors with the weapons of their dead, or if there is some ceremony that must take place when they pass to the next realm,” Vaya stated. Then slower, he offered, “I gave them the rites of my people so their spirits could move on. I hope I did not overstep.”

That was offered with a sense of hesitancy, as though he believed Pike would disapprove. The Tolerian was very wary of him, Pike noticed.

Respect had been given, and it needed to be returned. Perhaps that way, the two of them could form a tentative pact as Pike feared that the … the person…  the reason… why the Tolerian had arrived was lying dead in the Computer core.

“I deeply appreciate the honor and respect that you have shown my crew,” Pike sincerely stated. “There is no need to fear overstepping when respect is shown, for it can only be reciprocated in turn.”

The Tolerian seemed to be reassured as he seemed less anxious. But it was hard to tell, Pike admitted. What with the Tolerian being a full blooded Tolerian, complete with the parietal eye and the nictating eyelids.

“We’ll take care of Devins first,” Pike decided. Pike unfolded the bags he had brought even as he began to speak, “In your hands, O Lord, we humbly entrust our brother.  In this life you embraced them with your tender love; deliver them now from every evil and bid them eternal rest.”

* * *

 

 “Captain Christopher Pike of the USS Janus,” was his introduction after they had finished bagging the deceased. He held out his hand and Vaya hesitantly reached for it. “I greatly appreciate your assistance.”

“I am… Vaya,” the Tolerian offered.

“Just Vaya?” Chris asked.

“Just Vaya,” was the answer. Then slowly, the Tolerian added, “We have met before, Captain. Is the fact that you do not recognize me part of the very long story?”

“Yes,” was his terse response.

“I hope that perhaps later you will have time to expand on the tale, because I find myself utterly perplexed,” admitted Vaya.  He head-bobbed in a way that Pike knew meant that the Tolerian was quite confused.

 _And probably going to make a run for it, because Vaya hadn’t signed up for any of this insanity._  

“Are you currently working for the Tolerian government?” was Chris’ next question.

Vaya tilted his head and glanced at Pike. His multiple eyelids blinked and blinked before he spoke.

“At this time, no,” Vaya admitted. With a graceful motion, he extended both of his hands with his elongated six fingers open, rather than curled, which meant he was not attempting to dissemble or otherwise deceive Chris.  “I am open to any opportunities.”

“Under extreme emergency situations, I am authorized to conscript individuals. However, I much prefer to ask you to remain on this ship as an officer. If you traded liquor for DelRosso, you’ve got experience as a Quartermaster, but those dead Breen say that you’ve got tactics and security assessments skills that I need to get my crew home.”

Vaya’s multiple eyelids blinked and blinked six times before Vaya spoke, so he was pondering Chris’ offer.

“You do know that the Federation and the Tolerians are not talking to one another right now,” Vaya reminded him of that simple fact.

“I’ve been out of the loop for a bit,” Pike confessed. “I don’t know what happened with your application, but right now, I have thirty something people who need to get home.”

The Tolerian stared at Pike as though debating if Pike was crazy. The decision that Pike was certifiable was confirmed, but the Tolerian didn’t seem to care. Vaya wiped his hand against his bloody armor and then held it out to Pike.  His hand was covered with red blood mixed with a purplish pink liquid so it seemed that both human and Tolerian blood had been spilt.

“I swear on our mutual blood spilled today that I will do my best to ensure your crew returns home. I came to support my brother, Rafael, and I can do no less for his brother in arms.”

The two shook hands then, the agreement sealed between them.

“Welcome to the Janus, Commander Vaya. We’ll discuss payment and retirement benefits in a few weeks,” quipped Chris.

Double blink of the eyelids, which meant Vaya didn’t get his quip.

“Very well, I can wait as I believe you to be honorable. We need to get this ship moving, Captain. Do you know where we are? I felt us warp in the middle of the battle and then the engines went. I have some supplies in the nebula so if the Janus could get there, it would prove helpful.”

“Do you have a new warp engine?” Pike asked. Yeah, no doubt he had one in his pocket of his spacesuit.

“I’ve brought salvage engines,” Vaya informed him. “Eighteen of them. They attach to your hull and we can at least get the ship moving. Speed is completely determined by your hull stability. I noticed upon my review of the ship…”

“You reviewed the ship?” Pike questioned.

“As you humans say, I had time to slaughter while waiting for my opportunity to assist you during the mutiny,” Vaya stated while Pike struggled not to laugh because yes, Vaya bludgeoned Federal Standard with a mighty cudgel until it was a piteous pile of adjectives, adverbs and assorted verbs sobbing in a corner. “Might as well be productive. Priorities, engines, then the hull. Life support is also important. Shall we begin the review of the ship?”

“You certainly have the bit between your teeth,” Pike admitted.

Vaya stopped and tilted his head. “I have nothing between my teeth.”

He opened his mouth to display a rather fearsome set of incisors. But no prehensile tongue, Pike noticed. Thank God, as he couldn’t handle two tongue slapping aliens.

“It’s a saying that means you’re ready to work,” explained Chris.  He kept his voice composed though he felt close to cracking up; in laughter or in tears, he couldn't say.

“The sooner we are in Tolerian space, the happier I will be, so yes, I am ready to work, Captain.”

Pike’s communicator chirped so he flipped it open.

“Pike,” he enunciated.

“Captain?” Tilly’s voice shook, which meant bad news.  “Commander DelRosso… we’re taking him to Sick Bay. It’s not good, Sir. He’s unresponsive but he’s breathing, Sir.”

The Tolerian hissed in protest over competing priorities. “The ship has to move **_now_**. We need to get to the nebula **_now_**.  Get me to the bridge, so I can lay in a course. The Breen will be coming, and we need to leave. Once we get to the nebula, we attach the engines, dump the Breen bodies and any non-essential cargo and supplies and ignite the nebula so hopefully they will believe that we blew up the ship.  We make a quick escape to Tolerian space and then I’ll guide you through to Federation territory. If you follow my course, I can guarantee you safe passage through our territory. We leave the path for any reason; my people will blow this ship to pieces.”

Pike nodded his head once.  Slowly.

“There are some that are very angry with your people, and their response to our application,” admitted Vaya.

“And you’re **_not_**?” Pike asked, as it seemed that it been one hell of a breakup.

“You were in dire need of aid, Captain. It would be… **_inhumane_** … of me to refuse assistance.”

And the music finally, thankfully, stopped.


	17. Chapter 17

The newest member of the USS Janus was a hard worker, Pike quickly determined. Systematic in his review of an issue matched by his determination and execution of often unusual solutions to match the current crisis at hand. The course laid in, the Janus limping away at a fast crawl, the hull integrity determined to be in no immediate fear of collapse as that was the day after tomorrow’s looming issue, Vaya requested to visit DelRosso with Pike’s permission.

“I’ll show where it is. Mr. Singh, you have the bridge,” Pike requested.

Pike deliberately ignored Singh’s hopeful look of “He’s the new XO, right?”

* * *

 

Dr. Nessa had a ward full of wounded and Pike felt guilty that he hadn’t made time to visit them.  Someday, somewhen, he’d learn how to split himself into three of more Pikes so he could complete multiple priorities at the same time. However, he caught sight of an extreme amount of curly red hair in the corner so he made a beeline over to her.

“You ok?”  he whispered. He pulled back to look at her, giving her a complete visual inspection, “You injured?”

His sigh of relief escaped when she assured him that she was fine.

“She’s been swamped, so I’ve been trying to help triage since I got down here,” she softly answered. “I’m assuming that’s the Tolerian? There’s the most interesting rumors about him, including that he’s a Tolerian War Lord.”

“I don’t think he looks like a Tolerian War Lord,” protested Pike.

“Let me look,” offered Tilly.

She peered around him and he glanced to see that the Tolerian was headed toward DelRosso’s bedside. The officer looked like hell, but his monitors were beeping which Pike hoped was a positive sign.

Tilly shrugged her head after viewing the Tolerian.  “Probably not, however his tattoos look much nicer than ours. Think we can get a redo?”

“A redo on our holy vows? I think not,” Pike protested.  “Not sure what to think of him just yet. He’s very self-assured and quite comfortable with the idea of command. He knows his stuff though, so I recruited him. I just hope he doesn’t decide to commandeer the ship. Been there, done that, gave it bad reviews.”

“Don’t be jealous. You freed the ship from the Breen, so you’re always be my favorite captain,” Tilly assured him.  “I’ll show you later tonight.”

“Promise?” Pike asked as he leaned towards her. “I require plenty of hands on reassurance.”

“Promise, Captain Pike,” she assured him.  She knew that she had a goofy expression on her face but he was slightly smiling.  There was grief and pain and… blame in his eyes, but she’d help him shoulder the weight, even if he decided to be noble and stupid.

“Brother, I am here,” the Tolerian stated. He leaned over DelRosso’s prone figure and grasped one hand. He then placed his free hand on Rafael’s face. “I am here, as I promised. I wished my arrival had been earlier.”

He peered at DelRosso and then he softly spoke, “His _Ka_ is struggling to depart but his _Ib_ clings fast to this world. However, his grasp is weakening.”

The Tolerian then looked at the Doctor and in turn, the doctor slowly nodded at his astute perception.

There was silence in the Sick Bay as the realization of what was about to shortly occur dawned. Tilly reached for Chris’ hand and held it tight. The stupidest thing came to her mind, that she, at least, had brought him his requested cannoli when he had been in Sick Bay.

“Brother, I am here,” the Tolerian softly announced. “Lay down your worries and responsibilities, Rafael, for I will shoulder them for you. At this moment of transition, fear not, as you have no burdens to tie you here as I will carry them for you. Return to the Mother Creator, giver of life, as she welcomes her child home. You have done well, my brother, so very, very well that we will sing of your bravery and courage. My children and my children’s children will know of your name and you will not be forgotten. This, I so swear, and now I beg you to go in peace.”

DelRosso’s breathing slowed and then ceased. The Doctor quickly scanned him and then nodded her head.  She roughly wiped tears from her eyes and motioned towards two ensigns.

“Please reunite him with the Executive team,” she quietly stated. “Slot 4C, please. He requested that I leave that slot open for him.”

That decision made; she took a moment to compose herself while several of the wounded openly wept.

“I have to help,” Pike informed Tilly. She nodded her head and squeezed his hand in silent support before she released it.

He was getting too familiar with body bags, Chris decided. There was a little trick with the zipper that he had learned, but when it came time to close DelRosso in the bag, forever, the fucking thing still stuck. 

Not because of the guilt.

Not because his hands were shaking.

Because the Federation insisted on cheap zippers that stuck.

Yeah, that was it.

* * *

 

After they had put DelRosso in 4C in the very somber morgue, (the ghosts of the former Executive team had been eerily, respectfully silent when DelRosso had joined the Dead Officers’ Club) he and the ensigns returned to the medical ward.   Vaya stayed in the morgue and Pike saw that he was comparing the other memorials to DelRosso’s blank slate. It seemed from the look of displeasure on his face that the blank memorial would not acceptable for him, so he began to draw on it in a neat flowing calligraphy.

There were less people in Medical as the Doctor had treated and streeted them, therefore Nessa had time to focus on other issues. Such as the dots of purplish blood that were congealed on the floor.  She was busy following the blood spots until she came across her victim when he returned.

Nessa then turned to face Pike and accusingly asked him as though he was to blame, “Who is he and why is he dripping blood on my floor?” She then whipped her medical tricorder at Vaya and growled. “You, on the bed, now.”

She was so annoyed that Pike instinctively stepped back,  thereby saving him being thwacked by her flailing tail when she twirled.

“You’re… **_blue_** ,” Vaya announced.

“And you’re **_bleeding_** ,” sniped Nessa. “On the bed now, so I can see what your spacesuit is hiding. Take your suit off.”

“You’re as blue as the bottomless seas of Aberdeen under a cloudless sky, with eyes as dark and furious as Mother Space,” he added.  Then in a voice of true wonder, he stated, “And you have a tail! It must be simply marvelous to possess a tail!”

Nessa appeared perplexed and Tilly gently poked Pike, “Take notes.”

“He’s **_married_** ,” protested Pike.

“Yes, I counted his nose rings and his earrings. He’s **_definitely_** involved in a very large line marriage, probably the senior husband. Plus, he complimented her on her proudest attributes. She’s very proud of being blue and having a tail so someone trained him very well in his observation skills. It’s something you can work on because as you can see, she’s completely neutralized. She can’t yell at him, because he complimented her on being blue and having a tail.”

“I noticed he didn’t mention her prehensile tongue,” Pike offered.

“That would be **_flirting_** , Chris, and highly inappropriate as he’s married.  Oh! And now he’s **_unequivocally_** naked.” Tilly moved to grab a gander but Pike blocked her.

Accidentally.

Though he heard the assorted appreciative inhalations from most of the crew members.

“He’s still wearing his boots,” Pike primly protested. “Decorum, Tilly. Decorum. You can’t stare at naked crew members.”

“Such a pity,” she protested. “I was a child bride and I missed out on a great deal.”

“That **_hurt_** ,” he whined.

“But I gained a great deal also,” was her teasing retort.

“Did you use a cautery on that wound? It broke open,” Nessa snapped as she began wheeling over a tray to his bedside.

“He’s gonna get tongue slapped,” Pike whispered to Tilly who shushed him. “You shouldn’t watch this as she’s your friend, and she’s very scary when she unbridles her Tongue of Tactile Terror.”

“No, I utilized a soldering iron, not a cautery.”

Nessa shrieked a … blue… streak of obscenities, so Pike took Tilly by the arm and gently guided her to the exit.  There were some things new officers had to learn on their own, and this was one such occasion.

“I didn’t have anything anything with which to sew it shut, so I cauterized it. It was either that or bleed to death. I was battling for the crew at that time, Doctor. I had to staunch the blood and it was the fastest way to do it. I didn’t have enough time to stitch it closed. However, if you’re busy and have a needle, I could close it myself.”

Definitely time to leave as Nessa’s jaw was unhinged from shock.

“Doctor, please take good care of our newest crew member. Commander Vaya, Doctor Nessa.  Commander, I’ll meet you on the bridge in roughly three hours for the salvage engines. Doctor, please **_ensure_** that he is upright and conscious when you return him,” Pike quipped.

They left to the sounds of Nessa sputtering about ‘Soldering irons’. Chris attempted a left but Sylvia blocked him.

“Quarters, not bridge. You need some down time,” she insisted. “Singh has the bridge, and he will notify you if there are any issues with the engines. Besides, you need to change.”

“Change?” he asked.

“Into a Federation uniform.  Ylsa thinks that you were close to Emerson’s size so you can wear his old uniforms. Yes, you’re a captain, and he was a commander, but you’re a Federation officer. You need to look the part.”

“I don’t look the part?” he protested.

He gestured at his black leather pants, a shirt that had seen several better days weeks ago and his black boots.  Tilly, in turn, saw how exhausted he was, physically, mentally, emotionally and the overwhelming grief he was struggling to hide from everyone, especially her.

“No, you don’t. You look like a second-rate scavenger.  Seriously, now, after all this, you need to look the part. Plus, it will help you, I think,” Tilly decided.

“Help me how?” Chris asked.

“If you look like a Starship Captain when we get into Federation territory, the Federation will take you seriously,” she stated. “And I want you to do something for me, please.”

“Yes,” he promised.

“Leave Captain Pike outside of our quarters for the next three hours,” she requested as they stopped in front of their quarters. “Chris needs time to rest and recover, and the Captain won’t permit it. Before you protest, let me take care of you. Permit yourself to grieve, Chris.”

As she anticipated, he began to protest and she shook her head, “I’m in charge in our quarters, you promised that. Don’t take that from me. If they call for the Captain, they’ll get the Captain, but right now I worry about Chris.”

That earned her a mock frown, but he capitulated.

“Sonic, first, then…” she attempted a seductive smile.

“How about that **_first_**?” he whispered.

“Shower, **_ensign_**.”

There were several sets of uniforms on the counter and Tilly picked one up. “This might fit, but Ylsa isn’t sure what uniform they can put the new guy in.  He’s got a couple extra neck vertebrae among other various non-standard parts, so Ylsa thinks maybe a Janus T-shirt and the uniform pants. He’ll have to wear his own boots also as Ylsa thinks Tolerians have three toes.”

“Did you get a look at his non-standard parts when he decided to strip?” Chris quipped.

“Nessa told him to get out of the spacesuit; I think she didn’t realize that it was just him, the suit and all that he came into the universe with, until he dropped it. He seemed amused by the crowd’s reactions, so I think he’s an exhibitionist.”

“You did **_look_** ,” Pike shook his head and attempted to force a laugh, but God, he was tired.

“Shower.”

* * *

 

He was showering, ok, standing under the hot water, when she slipped into join him.

“This is a pleasant surprise,” he confessed. "I'm so glad we go the Captain's shower working again."

“Hands on the wall,” she instructed. When he turned to face her, she chastised him. “Wrong wall, ensign.”

She began to soap him and he grumbled a soft protest when she refused to let him reciprocate. That earned him a threat of corporal punishment, so he settled down. Instead, he just relaxed… well… some parts relaxed, others did not relax, not with her rather bold hands. Long, slow strokes with a bit of wicked twist and he was absolute putty in her hands.  Plus there were enough accidental touches for him to realize that Sylvia was naked.

“Bed, please,” he softly requested as he was thisclose and he desired nothing more than to lose himself in her embrace for as long as he could.

“Are you tired, ensign?”  

“Yes,” he admitted. She hummed softly and then cheerily ordered him to towel off and meet her in the bedroom.

Well, damn, that wasn’t what he had anticipated.

* * *

 

He walked in the bedroom, wearing only a towel, and Tilly was sitting in a chair. She had changed into one of his t-shirts and that was it.

“Drop the towel,” she ordered.

Slowly and deliberately, he removed the towel, and then to be a real pain in the ass, he proceeded to neatly fold it and place it on the cabinet. That done, he turned to face his commanding officer.

“Standing at attention and ready for inspection,” he quipped which earned him an eye roll.

He didn’t even rate an appreciative gander, just an eyeroll, he might add.  Even the new guy had rated more from Tilly so his feelings were hurt.

“Get into the bed,” was her next instruction. “Sit up, hands by your side, close your eyes.”

He did and he felt… unbelievably weary. The bed shifted beneath him and he opened his eyes.

“No, eyes closed, remember?” Sylvia insisted. “Hands by your side, closed eyes.”

She straddled him then, and he protested, “Hey…”

“This is for you,” she whispered. “And I promise you that I won’t hurt you this time.”

It was quick, with a deficit of points awarded for non-existent technique and lack of partner satisfaction, but it left him feeling utterly cored. He managed a soft moan of protest when she ‘dismounted’ but she shushed him with a soft kiss.

“You needed that, now go sleep,” she whispered.  “I’ll wake you in ninety minutes or so.”

* * *

 

Sylvia made Chris model his new Federation uniform and then, because she felt playful, she pondered.  He had to twirl, had to sit, had to stand and then she made him twirl once more.

Finally, Chris broke and asked, “Can I wear these? Emerson was close to my size and he never wore these.”

“It’s the pants,” she finally admitted. “You fill them out so nicely.  I used to admire you in those pants because they showed off your butt. T’Seng gets overly enamored with your rear, and I’ll have to put her straight.”

Pike laughed and then appeared perplexed. “You saw me in them? When? I still don’t have my memories straightened out thanks to the Breen.”

Sylvia tilted her head and confessed, “I’m… not… sure… but… I remember admiring your perfectly pert posterior in those pants.”’

Perfectly pert posterior? WTF? Chris’ disbelief was obvious, so she placed her hand on his rear.

 ** _Oh yes_** , murmured her Inner Tillys while one yelled, **_Give me a hallelujah, Ladies! The Spirit is moving me!_**

“Very pert,” she assured him as she squeezed him to prove her point. “Firm, too.”

“I feel violated,” Pike teased. “Perhaps I should wear the jacket? I think it’s long enough to cover my ass.”

She loudly giggled and he smiled. God, she loved **_that_** smile, the one that was just **_hers._**  It was his sleepy, post coital smile where he was utterly blissed out due to her, combined with his amused smile with the dimples.

“Sylvia, thank you,” Chris softly stated. “You’re keeping me functioning. I’ll make up for earlier, promise.”

They kissed, briefly, and she blushed. “You’d do just fine without me. I know you would,” she assured him.

His smile faded before he spoke, “You need to give yourself more credit. When this insanity is over, I want to help you believe in yourself more. You have been my rock and my sanity in this disaster, plus you make me smile.”

He winked, before he added, “And not just in bed.”

She glanced away from him, and murmured a protest.

“And… and…when we get back to Federation space, I want to make this Federation-legal between us,” Chris stated. “That way, wherever I go, you come with me. Even if we have to run off and get married, I want us Federation binding. I’ll introduce you to my father and my stepmother, and then hopefully sooner rather than later, we can tell your mother about the grandbaby and us. Whattayasay?”

He was serious and smiling, and… **_optimistic_** … and… sweetly nervous that she wouldn’t say yes.

Sylvia paused and shakily asked, “Are you…”

“Officially asking for you and me to plight each other’s troth once we get back. Unless you come to your senses and you decide that you don’t want to do it.”

She launched herself at him and kissed him. When they broke for air, she announced, “That was **_yes_**.”

“Now Captain Pike needs to speak with Singh, and maybe you can sound out your friends among the crew. Have they heard memorial services? What should be done? Also, chat with the new guy when you get a chance.  Let me know your thoughts on him, except for his non-standard parts, please? Keep those to yourself,” Chris quipped with a smirk.

* * *

 

“Commander,” Pike greeted his newest officer. “You’ve been busy, I see.”

“Yes,” Vaya assured him as he handed him a PADD. The Tolerian was now wearing Federation pants, a tee shirt emblazoned JANUS and what seemed to be his personal battered black jacket that had multiple stripes on the sleeves. And yes, he was wearing his own boots. “Here’s the list of repairs that needed to be done yesterday, what should be done today, what can wait until tomorrow. I marked the ones that we can actually do.  I reviewed the supply stores; we’ll need to trade with any Tolerians that we come across.”

Pike reviewed the list, winced at what critical items had to be done yesterday yet couldn’t because they lacked supplies. Reviewed it again, and then handed it back to him.

“We don’t have much in the way of trade,” Pike confessed. “They stripped the ship which is part of the problem.”

“I brought salvage engines,” Vaya explained. “Sufficient to move the ship, along with some for trade if necessary. They’re top of the line, so I should be able to obtain what we need, as I have a good idea what each clan makes, what they need and how to trade for it. I try to be thorough.”

“That you are,” Pike murmured. “And I think we can forget trying to get you into a uniform.”

“Praise to the Mother Creator,” his newest officer quipped. “I feared crawling through the tubes in these pants. Tolerian joints have a different range of motion and I didn’t want to deal with the doctor again.”

“From personal experience, I have to admire your good sense,” Pike informed him.

“I installed the salvage engines. You give the word, we can cut the warp engines, dump the trash from the cargo bay, ignite the nebula and then… use the new engines to move out of the nebula. The Breen won’t have the warp signature trail to follow, and we can fix the engines easier if they’re offline. Once they’re fixed, you will hopefully be in Federation territory in…  about twenty-eight days or so.”

Twenty-eight days, so hopefully they’d hit a Federation beacon in three week or so and he could relay that they were coming home. Someone had to miss them, someone had to care, right?

Pike nodded and stated, “Ylsa, hit it.”

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Tilly, being a woman on a mission, spotted the newest crew member in the mess hall. The Tolerian stared at the food replicators, at crew members who utilized them, and then stared back at them. There was a large space around him as the Janus crew was unsure about the latest irregular to join their crew.  He wasn’t Breen, yet he wasn’t small and blue, and able to dispense narcotics, so they gave him a wide berth. That isolation would never do, so Tilly walked up to him.

“Hi, I’ll show you how to use them,” she offered.

“I would be indebted,” he murmured with a polite tilt of his head.

“So where are you from? What planet?” Tilly asked.  Then she quickly added, “So I can figure out what you might want to try.”

“My homeworld fell to the Breen many years ago. I’ve been shipbound ever since,” was his soft confession. “I am willing to attempt your cuisine.”

“Spicy?” Tilly questioned.

“Yes,” he murmured.

“Hot pot?” She asked, with a smile.

“Could you?” he requested. “Share it with me and we can chat. You can give your Bond Mate a full report after we’re done.  We can trade question for question. And… perhaps, I might even answer truthfully.”

He widely smiled which caused Tilly to laugh even after she programed a hot pot.

“You start,” he decided as he carried the trays for her.

“Is it that obvious?” Tilly asked.

“That you were sent to wheedle information out of me? No, but it’s something I would have done if the roles were reversed. Your captain is dangerous, but not as dangerous as you,” Vaya stated. “The female of the species is **_far_** deadlier than the male as my senior most wife would prove.   ** _She_** is most dangerous. So tell me, how did that stern Captain capture your interest?”

“I didn’t ask my question yet. Did I? Wait, that’s my second question wasn’t it?” Tilly shook her head in protest while Vaya informed her that she was up to three questions.

‘Yes, it was, but I’ll excuse the two of them, if you answer me true. How did the stern captain capture your interest?”

His eyes were measuring her, and Tilly decided to tell the truth.

“The Breen captured him, and brain washed him into thinking he was a Tolerian.  They gave him me… to keep him entertained.” She paused and then confessed, “I was lucky as… he was very … sweet. It progressed from there and …   I was very lucky…because the Breen made me believe he was my Captain and that I had always had a crush on him.  They could have given me to someone significantly worse. Someone who would have enjoyed hurting me. Chris has always been exceedingly… gentle…”

She stopped then, and he gently squeezed her hand. “The correct Tolerian viewpoint is that the male is considered fortunate to have a wife, not the other way around. If he ever laid a hand on you in anger, I would kill him. It is the Tolerian way, and I fear that you have been away from us for far too long, little sister, if you have forgotten that fundamental truth.”

“Little sister,” she murmured with a slight smile. Then with a wider smile, she admitted, “I like that. I don’t remember much about my family.”

Except for a mother who had been impossible to please.  

“We have lost many of our clans to the Breen. Not all through death,” he informed her.  “We lost several who had human children among their ranks. Until you learn otherwise, we will cling together as family among these very strange Feds. They confuse me greatly and with Rafael among the stars, I have no translator.”

“Brother, I will translate for you,” she promised which earned her another smile.

They sat in silence for a bit and then Tilly had to talk. Naturally.

“I worry sometimes, that what I think I remember about my life, isn’t true,” she confessed. “Because when I look at myself in the mirror, all I see are the tattoos. I don’t remember what I looked like without them.”

“I wondered about the tattoos,” he admitted. He pointed to his own and explained, “They tell the story of our lives, so you are exceedingly young and the wrong sex to be wearing that particular narrative so the fact that the Breen placed them on you makes sense.  For example, mine details clan, marriages, children, battles, and other significant events in my life. I will have my brother-husband Bryce add Rafael’s death to my story when we meet again.”

He began setting up the hotpot with a practiced ease. It was deliberately done so he could compose himself.

“I’ll leave the hot peppers on the side,” he decided. “I understand that some find them intolerable.”

“How many… spouses… do you have?” she asked.

“There are twenty in total, with four wives and sixteen husbands. There are twenty-one of us but they were debating optioning a new wife when I left, however I had wished to bring Rafael in. There are forty-two children of various ages from this line marriage.”

“Forty-two?” yelped Tilly.

“Question three,” he gently reminded her. “Mainly through artificial wombs. There is a creche on the ship, and they are raised there. We all take turns with the little ones, even **_She_** does.”

They kept their conversation light and pleasant, and they were soon joined by Nessa and then Ylsa and Singh.

The Tolerian placed his hands together and nodded, “Thank you for the meal. I need to visit my engines. There is a hum that needs to be resolved.”

He removed his dirty plates and recycled them before leaving. Ylsa watched him, and then turned to Nessa. “As Emerson would have said, that’s who dropped trow in your area?”

Nessa nodded once, and then grinned.

“He’s MARRIED,” Tilly protested. “He’s got like thirty-seven spouses.”

“I have six parents as my people do group marriage also. Besides, I can look, and he was more than willing to show,” Nessa explained in an innocent tone that fooled no one. “If it bothers you, Tilly, I could always have the Captain come down for a physical?”

“You’ve already stripped him, multiple times so I’ve been informed,” Sylvia tartly protested which caused Nirav Singh to choke on his tea.

Fortunately for Singh, he was able to clear his airway as the women were too busy talking to notice his imminent death.

The doctor waved her little blue hands in Tilly’s general direction, “It’s was completely professional at all times. Except when he stomped on my tail and broke it. That time… I willingly admit… was **_vengeance_**. Pure and simple.”

* * *

 

The start of Gamma shift, Pike turned over the Chair of Power to T’Seng. She was becoming more comfortable being in the chair, though she still sat as though sitting on a bed of nails and one move would cause complete chaos. However, it was better than her previous look of impending execution.

Well, at least she had respect for the Chair.

He performed a brief tour of the ship and decided to visit the morgue. Chris took a very deep breath, exhaled and then girded his loins up like a man, proving once again, you could take the boy out of Mojave, but the upbringing stayed with him as he was still mentally quoting Job.

“Good morning,” he announced as he entered the morgue. “I wanted to give you an update. We hope to have the Janus back in Federation territory in twenty-eight days. If you have made any connections with any heavenly hosts, I would gratefully appreciate any assistance they might be able to provide.”

No answer, Thank God, as he wasn’t sure if he could handle it if the dead had decided to talk to him, perhaps through a burning garbage can as there were no bushes to be found.

He waited for a moment or three for a possible response.  While he waited, he noticed that there were new photos up on the memorials, including the first one of the entire Executive team.  The entire team laughed and smiled except for DelRosso, as he wore what could only be described as a stoic expression. Emerson had his arm around DelRosso in a half hug, as though determined to break DelRosso’s walls through sheer Irish stubbornness.

“I’ll make sure I give you frequent reports,” he informed the Dead Officers Club when they thankfully didn’t respond. However, he desperately needed sleep as he thought he had **_felt_** Tanaka’s heartfelt thanks.

That done, he visited the mess hall where he found Vaya reviewing holographic schematics, their most likely trail through Tolerian space which was marked by blips of assorted colors and sizes. He tapped the first one, expanded it and then tapped a flashing dot that opened to review the ship’s inventory. He scrolled through it, hissed in disappointment and then tapped another holographic dot.

“This will be our first trade session tomorrow… today? We’ll have to trade two of the engines, to obtain the materials for to get the warp drive back online.  Fortunately, I brought extra engines just in case. Because you’re Feds, they’ll haggle hard, but they’re top of the line salvage engines. We’ll get a fair trade if you don’t lose sight of that. You have the upper hand.”

Pike nodded his acceptance and then asked, “Did we get you quarters?”

“I asked for DelRosso’s because his quarters are in the Tolerian style. Singh’s doing another security sweep in the morning to make sure they're clean. There’s too much about this ship that screams Federation classified so I desire to leave when we’re done, instead of languishing in a Federation prison. I’m limiting myself to the most basic interactions with your computer system and repairing the engines, not touching the weapons. The Breens were idiots, as I would have reversed engineered those multi-phase photon torpedoes first thing and gotten them into mass production as opposed to dealing with a warp engine that doesn’t produce a stable wormhole or the AI. Speaking of which, I think your AI has passed.” The Tolerain paused and then made a smooth gesture. “Mother Space, please accept her soul.”

Pike wasn’t willing to bet the farm that Artificial Intelligences had souls, not just yet.

“The Artificial intelligence…has…. passed?” Pike questioned slowly.

“Yes, Janus does not respond to her name. My understanding based on conversations with the crew is that she would respond to her name. She no longer does and there appears to be extensive corruption in the AI data core.  The time stamp correlates to when there was a massive data spike during the battle to regain control of the ship,” Vaya informed him.

Pike nodded his head, pondered for a bit and then asked, “What’s your real rank among the Tolerians?”

If Vaya wasn’t his equal in position, well, he’d be damned surprised.

 Vaya softly admitted, “I have no rank. I have no clan or kin. I am simply… Vaya.”

“But you’re **_married_** ,” Pike prompted.

“I have been only recently removed from the scrolls. While the mind admits it, the soul takes longer to accept it.” What will be, will be, was the calm response but his eyes blazed in what could only be a great deal of emotional pain. “Plus, some of these piercings are hand squared years in age. It will be physically painful to remove them.”

“May I ask a very personal question, and you can refuse to answer. Were you … excommunicated… because of this? Us?”

Multiple eyeblinks and then the Tolerian nodded his head.

“There are many that believed that I am … foolish… in assisting the Federation. But they are short sighted, because if this ship had been successfully deconstructed and the improvements successfully duplicated and implemented, where would the Breen have gone first? My territory, my people. We would have been slaughtered. I’ve given them… perhaps anther ten years before they are utterly annihilated. Hopefully, someone will be able to guide them wisely during that time frame.”

Vaya gestured and the various holographic displays shut down.

“I have lost everything,” he admitted. “I came to extricate Rafael, and failed. Now all I have left is to ensure that this ship does not fall to the Breen. It will not happen, or I will die in the attempt.”

Pike nodded his head and then asked, “Those salvage engines?  They’re… **_bombs_** …, aren’t they?”

“If specific modifications are made, yes, they could easily be bombs, but for now, they’re merely engines. It’s time for me to sleep. I am not as young as I once was. I’ll go visit that little blue doctor as she keeps her office at a temperate climate. Perhaps, I can sleep there for now.”

“Where are you planning on going, once we get into Federation space?” Pike questioned.

“I know not where,” he admitted. “I just know that I do not want to be in a Federation prison.”

Pike remembered a conversation past, a lifetime ago, where DelRosso had discussed the Board of Inquiry and he nodded his head in agreement. “I agree with that, completely.”

* * *

Chris returned to his quarters, and slipped out of his uniform and then into bed.  Sylvia turned towards him and whispered, “As you see, Captain, I’m ready for debriefing.” He slid one hand down her side and then shook his head. He mock growled, “It seems that you were already debriefed.”

They grinned at each like lunatics, and Chris chuckled.

He turned serious and then kissed her. It was a promise that neither of them would get to sleep shortly.

“You’re the only good thing that has come out of this clusterfuck,” he informed her. “Always remember that.”

* * *

“Your tattoos will be problematic for some,” his Executive Officer informed him in the next morning in Pike’s ready room.  “Some may feel it’s a sacrilege, others may not.  You are Federation, so some may not want to trade with you. Others may not wish to trade with me.  This particular clan is more flexible than some.”

Pike arched his eyebrow in response.

“Flexible?”  Pike questioned.

“I don’t think they’re likely to shoot at the Janus first,” Vaya easily admitted. “The Federation is not particularly well-liked in these parts.”

In response, Pike rubbed his temples.

“I’ve been away for a few months, so I don’t know what happened to your application,” Pike admitted. “What happened?”

Vaya just blinked his eyes while he steepled his hands in front of him. “I don’t think your government could possibly have been more offensive. However, our Archon negotiated from a position of weakness, so their rejection was not… unanticipated. The insolence of their response, was however, unforeseen.”

* * *

“We’re being hailed, Sir,” Singh announced. “They are willing to speak to us.”

“On screen,” Pike requested. He waited a moment and then recited, “I greet the Clan Chief and offer my respects.”

Pike stopped for a moment, as the young man on the screen was not what he would have pictured as a clan chief. Maybe in twenty… thirty years… not now. Vaya, who had ensured that he was offscreen, appeared puzzled. He then started to tap away at his console. Whatever he viewed caused him to frown.

“I return respects to you,” the young man stated slowly in what had to be heavily practiced Federation Standard.  “I have reviewed your requirements, and unfortunately, we do not have what you need in the quantity that you are requesting. Is there anything else that we could possibly discuss in trade?”

“I require the supplies I listed,” was Pike’s response.

The clan chief nodded his head and then Vaya spoke, “Captain, may I address them?”

“Go head,” Pike permitted.

“Clan Chief,” Vaya began. “I greet you on the behalf  of the USS Janus. We are traveling the permitted path in order for the ship to return back home. We request trade right with you.”

Pike carefully watched the interaction. He wasn’t sure what he expected but it wasn’t for the onscreen Tolerian to turn pale. The ship’s captain looked like nothing more than a first-year cadet face to face with a Fleet Captain after said Fleet Captain had been severely trampled in game of flag football. Not that he’d know from personal experience… naturally.  He had merely been a bystander, Thank God.

“Sir! I did not realize that you were on the ship!” The younger Tolerian confessed even as his various crew members sprung to attention behind him.  “We don’t have much, but it’s all yours, Sir.”

Vaya soothingly gestured and then spoke, “I am simply Vaya. No more, no less. We will not take unless there is an equal trade. Your engines, they were recalled, were they not?”

“Yes, Sir, we’re planning on getting them fixed shortly.”

“Have you checked your air quality lately? I’m concerned, several of your crew members look a bit off-color.”

“It’s poor, Sir. It will be fixed shortly also,” he explained. “We need to get to the repair station.”

While the two verbally sparred, Pike noticed that they rapidly gestured at each other in Tolerian Trade Talk. Small motions with their fingers, a tap to the head and then the younger Clan Chief softly spoke in Tolerian.  The way the younger man kept glancing at him, he was pretty sure that he and the Feds were the topic of conversation.

Vaya barked at the younger clan chief and shook his head. He turned on his heels, sharply, and then spoke, “Captain, permission requested to board their ship. I’ll need our blue doctor, what medics she can spare, plus three engineers.  Our team will need venti masks, plus spares. They’ve got a slow leak in their plasma core and the power surges have shorted out their environment recyclers. Plus, they’re exhibiting signs of poisoning from the bad air.”

Then in rueful tone too low to be transmitted to the Tolerian ship, Vaya added, “This will be a strictly humanitarian mission as they have nothing to trade. This may delay our arrival into Federation territory.”

He said nothing after that, instead he just blinked his eyes.  Slowly.

It was a test, Pike guessed. Regardless, there was only one acceptable answer. “As you came to our aid, we will come to theirs.”

“Very well, I will inform them that you and I will be beaming over. Once we assess the damage, I will contact Lt. Singh to determine what can be spared. I’ll need to confirm with our doctor that she understands the Tolerian Triage structure.”

“Lt. Singh, you have the chair,” announced Chris.  “What’s the triage structure?”

“Women first, then children. Males are treated by age; the youngers are treated first.  White hairs like me, are treated last.”

Vaya tugged his long fishtail braid of solid white hair, and then glanced at Chris’ heavily graying hair. “Don’t worry, you’ll get treated before me.”

Chris barked a laugh and shook his head as they entered the turbo lift. “So, what were you two saying in Trade talk? He kept looking at me?”

“Would it be sufficient to say that he thought you were very handsome?” Vaya asked. “He was expressing concerns about you meeting his wives.”

“Not my first rodeo,” Pike protested.

“There are horses on the ship? Really? Why have I not been shown them?” Vaya asked in what had to be pretend amazement, and Pike just grimaced and shook his head.

“Seriously, he was concerned. If I was still married, I would not let you within a parsec of my wives. You would give my former brother-husband Galen competition.” Vaya tilted his head and smiled, which didn’t reach his eyes, Pike noticed. “It would do him good as he’s rather… exotic… in his appearance. He’s not familiar with having competition. It would be delightful to watch.”

“What did you **_really_** discuss?”  Pike asked. “I really doubt that he’s worried I’ll flirt with his wives. That’s bad form.”

“He did not wish to appear weak in front of the Federation, so he did not wish to request assistance. He also expressed sincere doubts if a Federation ship would be willing to assist them in their time of abject need. You must excuse his doubts, he is… in over his head. The Senior husbands of his line marriage are moribund in the infirmary, along with the secondary lines. He’s tertiary, so he’s floundering. I feared to ask about the wives, because She should be there on the bridge with him, unless She’s passed.”

At Chris’ confused look, Vaya shook his head.  “I need to explain line marriages to you? Didn’t your bondmate tell you about them?”

“We’re still getting comfortable with the idea of the two of us. Let alone opening it up to others,” Pike explained.  Then dryly he added, “At this time, there are no openings for additional spouses.”

“That’s true. She’ll need you trained before she takes on a new husband,” Vaya agreed.

Trained? Pike mouthed.

“I came into the marriage with my two brother husbands. I was Senior, Bryce was Second and Mikkos… Mikkos was Mikkos and glib of tongue. In time, She selected Galen as she wished a Pretty, and Tye…” Vaya stopped and Pike swore that the Tolerian glanced at Pike’s facial tattoos before he continued to speak. “My brother Tye was brought in because he didn’t talk very much. Then the second wife was added, She assisted her with selections for the secondary line. Then in time, they expanded the family to additional wives and they assisted with the selection of husbands. I had hoped to bring Rafael in…. Anyway, with our new friend’s rank in the line marriage, it would be akin to Singh taking over the captainship.”

“Singh’s a good man,” protested Pike.

“Of that there is no doubt,” Vaya easily agreed. “But he’d be over his head if you weren’t here.”

They were almost to the transporter room when Pike stopped Vaya with a quick gesture. “Are you still pretending that you’re nobody among the Tolerians? That kid seemed to recognize you.”

Vaya shrugged his shoulders and quipped, “It’s my white hair. Tolerians respect the elderly.”

* * *

 

“Their Captain will greet you. He may offer you food and drink. Kindly decline until after we review the damage.  It’s good form to accept, still better to wait. However, he may offer you a scarf. If he does, accept it and permit him to drape it around your shoulders. Nod your head slightly after he drapes it. I don’t think he will, but best be prepared,” Vaya explained.  “It’s also better that I translate for you instead of relying on your translator. The rest of the crew can use them, but in your position, to have a machine translate would make them feel that subtle nuances are being missed.”

Chris mentally repeated the instructions, but it was for naught. As he was greeted not by the Clan Chief, but by four women. The oldest was holding out a scarf, but she was significantly shorter than he was so he bowed down to her height.  She still had to reach slightly to put it around his shoulders.

“Please drape it,” he requested which earned him a very amused smile while she draped it just so after Vaya translated. He also blushed when she gently caressed his cheek.

“Vaya,” the older woman spoke rapidly in Tolerian and Vaya did not bother to hide his amusement. Then she turned to face Pike and then gestured at Vaya.

“I’m to translate,” Vaya explained while he used Tolerian trade talk. “She finds you quite modest, and bit of a flirt.  However, as you bowed to her so deeply, you understand that the women are superior.  She also stated that it is a good thing that you are married because that combination reminded her of her first husband. The rest I cannot possibly translate out of politeness.”

That earned a spate of angry Tolerian from the women and Vaya nodded. “Very well, she wishes to convey that your wife is a very fortunate woman; her nights are full of love as your mischievous eyes reminded of her second husband.”  Vaya used an apparently universally gesture for sex as Pike flushed. Vaya tilted his head, spat out something in Tolerian which seemed to translate to “Oh you naughty, naughty girls” as the women all giggled. “I simply cannot translate all that, Captain Pike, however it appears that the Clan Chief was quite right to be concerned about you.”

“What did they say?” Pike asked.

“They wanted to know if your bondmate would be willing to give them your genetic material,” Vaya admitted. “I advised them that you were newly bonded and your mate would not be willing to share you as of yet, as you are still untrained.”

* * *

 

It was a hectic day, but a good hectic day, Christopher could admit to himself later.  The Tolerians were first very reticent with him. Gradually, he realized that their standoffish nature hid a surprisingly warm and affectionate culture as they became more comfortable with the strangers in their midst.  After the engines had been repaired and the environmental controls functioned properly, he and his team had been invited for a meal.

He had hoped to sit next to Sylvia; he hadn’t seen her all day, as no doubt, she was ablaze with scientific excitement. Instead, he found one of the youngest crew members had decided to sit next to him. As she grew steadily more and more tired, she decided to climb into his lap and fall dead asleep. Since the crew member was perhaps at most, two years old, he hoped Sylvia would forgive him.  However, he did find it difficult to eat his noodles as he worried about waking the little girl.

“I see you met Jaylin,” Vaya softly teased.  He kept his tone soft so not to wake the child. “They’re bringing the older children in from the creche to see the Federation personnel who helped repair their ship. Please be patient, you and the team are the first Feds they’ve ever seen.”

Pike glanced at his team, added the sums and came to a very interesting conclusion. The team that Vaya had recommended to him was a very interesting mix of Federation personnel. Every species that was on the good ship Janus was represented, in various shapes and colors (even blue! Complete with matching, fully healed, blue tail), except for the Deltans. He suddenly remembered how Vaya had examined Ylsa as though pondering a question, which he had then murmured, ‘Entirely too dangerous’.

There was a flash of a memory; he was on the Enterprise. He was with Phil and they were reviewing the daily updates from Star Fleet. There had been a brief notification that the Tolerian Prime, the head of the Tolerian Fleet, would be traveling through their quadrant on his way home and they were not to engage as the Prime was considered too volatile… too dangerous….

Tolerian Prime, of the Clan Kandranos, whose brother husband was the Ambassador Mikkos Kandranos who in turn were both senior husbands to the female Head of the Tolerian Government.

Fuck, Vaya wasn’t working FOR the Tolerian government. He WAS the Tolerian Government.

“Is this some sort of Federation Friendship tour?” Pike softly questioned.

Vaya just blinked at him, several times before he answered. “Why would the Federation need to do a friendship tour, Captain?”

“I’m sure you know why, **_Prime_** Kandranos,” Pike softly retorted. “I am honored to meet you.”

Christopher wondered what the reaction would be.  Vaya flinched as though he had been struck. Hard. It took time for the Tolerian to compose himself, and then once again, the affable Vaya façade was back.

“Prime?” Vaya softly laughed as though told a merry joke. “What would the Tolerian Prime be doing shepherding a bunch of wayward Feds through Tolerian territory? The Prime would be busy with more important things such as attempting to save his people from mass extinction by the Breen. I don’t think that as a Pariah, Unnamed by Clan and Cast out by Kin, I would be able to do such a thing. I thank you for the compliment, but it is unearned. I am merely honoring the last request of my brother Rafael, at extreme… personal… cost.”

The fake façade disappeared, and the real Vaya softly spat, “Do not **_mock_** me by calling me **_Prime_** , Christopher Pike.”

Again, the façade was quickly respackled, and Vaya’s ever present smile returned as though the brief glimpse of the real Tolerian had never occurred.

“Please accept my apologies, Commander. It was not my intent to rip open an obviously painful wound,” Christopher quietly apologized.

“I am Outcast. I have no Clan, nor Kin.  To call me the rank of Prime, shows how little you know of my people. I will begin the lessons now. There is no need to apologize to someone like me for I have no Clan or Kin to take offense,” Vaya quietly stated as though it was obvious. “Now, I need to finagle the price of our assistance. They won’t be able to offer much, and I’m giving them the engines. They won’t get to the repair base without them. I’ll do the best that I can, Captain.”

“I know you will, Commander.”

The little girl stirred then, and pulled herself off Chris’ lap. As regal as any princess, she held out her hand to Vaya as though she had anticipated his response. With an easy grace, he picked up the small child and began speaking to her.  It was soft and lyrical and Chris heard his name mentioned several times. The small child quickly waved in his general direction and then hid her face in Vaya’s jacket.

“See… again… charming the ladies, Captain.”

* * *

 

Tilly soon snuck in next to her Captain.

“She’s a little young for you, isn’t she?” she teased.  “I hear that the ladies of the ship wanted your … DNA…”

She gave her a very coquettish look after her euphemism. To her delight, he dimpled and blushed.

 ** _“God, he is just so cute and he’s ALL OURS!”_** The  Inner Tillys excitedly screamed.

“Yeah, two seconds on the ship and they started haggling for my… DNA…. How did you find out?” he asked.

“The Commander told me, and advised me that they would be approaching me later. He advised me to request him for translation purposes if they wished to haggle for your 14th chromosome.”

Pike leaned toward Tilly and whispered, “Only you have claim to my 14th chromosome. Remember that.”

She leaned towards him, and she knew she was smiling stupidly at him, because oh my God, he had been so fucking cute with that little girl in his lap, and all his inner Tillys were blabbering about Babies (even Killy, but she was asking if a surrogate was possible because helllllo…. Tight leather pants and babies didn’t work!). “Get us home, Captain, and I’ll make reproductive use of all twenty-three of your chromosomes as soon as possible.”

Chris grinned at her and whispered, “I think you mean productive.”

“No, I know what I meant, and I know what I said,” she teased.

“Here come the children, which means I have to be presentable and behave,” he whispered.

Tilly watched as Christopher was introduced to the various children. Some were bolder than others, but Chris made an effort with the shyer ones, as he crouched down their eye levels and listened intently to them, even though it required the use of a universal translator.

 ** _“Oh, my Good God”,_** shrieked one of the Inner Tillys. “ ** _Just take me now_**.”

**_“I want his babies!”_ **

**_“Lots and lots of babies!”_ **

While all her inner Tillys were having a severe case of baby Fever, one Tilly was not. Brianiac Tilly was looking at her calendar very intently. She was busy counting and recounting and counting again. Deliberately, she placed her hand against her tummy.

**_“Ladies?  Ladies? Are we…. LATE? We’ve been having sex almost every day for the last six weeks. ARE WE LATE?”_ **

Tilly shook her head and silenced her inner Tillys. “I had my shots, so did Chris.”

**_“THE BREEN LIED ABOUT CHRIS BEING A TOLERIAN. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT THEY DIDN’T LIE ABOUT THAT?” Brianiac Tilly screamed that hypothesis. In the unexpected sickly silence that followed,  the other Inner Tillys put down their alcoholic drinks en masse except Captain Killy, who quickly downed her drink._ **

**_“Fuck,” she swore. “There goes my leather pants and I just got them!”_ **

**_"I need to hurl," whispered an Inner Tilly. "OH MY GOD I FEEL NAUSEOUS!"_ **

**_"ARE MY BOOBS BIGGER?" VaVaVoom Inner Tilly asked, even as she clutched her chest in both hands. "CAN SOMEONE FEEL MY BOOBS AND TELL ME IF THEY'VE GOTTEN BIGGER?"_ **

“Because I’d know if I was pregnant,” Tilly murmured to herself. “The shots are still good, and I am not pregnant. And if I was pregnant, it is something we both want.”

Christopher Pike turned her way. In his arms, there was a little girl who insisted on touching the grey in his hair.

And he winked at her.

****


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story took a hard left turn a while ago and continued to do so.

“All hail the victorious ones, I’ll break down what we got in trade now. There’s not much, but they offered silk yukatas for the away team,” softly quipped Vaya when they returned to the Janus after a very long, eventful day.  He softly exhaled his exhaustion, and Dr. Nessa shook her head.

“No, you’re coming with me. Even commanders need to rest sometimes,” she softly ordered.  Her little blue tail wrapped itself around his wrist as she walked from the transporter room.  He dutifully followed her even Pike turned to face Tilly.

He waited until the rest of the team had dispersed, leaving the two of them in the hallway before he spoke, “You ok? You don’t look like yourself.”

“Tired,” she lied.

“Ok, so Captain’s ordering you to his bed. I’ll be there in a bit, as I need to report in,” he explained. He nodded his head and then narrowed his eyes, “Do you need to see Nessa?”

 ** _HELL YES! I want a pregnancy test_** , demanded Captain Killy. **_I haven’t broken in my new leather pants yet!_**

 ** _No, we can’t be pregnant.  We aren’t displaying any symptoms_** , protested the Brainiac Tilly. **_I remember getting the shot! Dr. Culber gave us our shot._**

 ** _Who?_**   The inner Tillys all asked, sounding like a chorus of confused owls.

**_I don’t remember, but I know he did!  Dr. Culber was the nice guy and Stamets was snippy except when he wasn’t._ **

**_WHO?_ **

**_My breasts are sore_** , inserted a Tilly.

 ** _You need to stop squeezing them like you’re checking melons for ripeness,_** Captain Killy announced before she savagely squeezed the complaining Tilly’s breasts. As the Tilly exclaimed her pain, Killy snorted, **_Yup, those girls are really ripe. Chris is just gonna love suckling them Mamas. He'll latch on to them and we'll have to physically separate him when he goes to the bridge._**

**_But would it be a bad thing, if we were? Chris wants children. He said so!_ **

**_But if the Tolerian lied about him, lied about the birth control shots…. Then they probably lied about us.  What if we’re not a captured Tolerian of human ancestry. What if … we’re…._ **

Brainiac inner Tilly couldn’t continue, but the other inner Tillys gasped in true horror.

**_No, we’re not Federation.  We can’t be._ **

**_NOT JUST THAT!_ **

**_WHAT IF HE’S OUR CAPTAIN?_ **

**_WHAT HAPPENS IF WE GET TO FEDERATION TERRITORY AND IT TURNS OUT THAT OUR CAPTAIN KNOCKED UP HIS ENSIGN?_**

**_HIS CAREER WILL BE DESTROYED._ **

**_He’ll hate me,_** the real Tilly fearfully admitted.   ** _And he will never be able to forgive me._**

Chris waved his hand in front of her face. “Hey? You just zoned out on me. You sure you shouldn’t see Nessa?”

“No,” she said, sharper than she would have liked. Then in a desperate feint to distract Chris, she quickly added, “I don’t want to interrupt **_anything_**.”

Chris mentally processed what she wasn’t saying and then blinked as though he had been hit in the head with a Mark Three Phrase, “They’re….” He paused and then he expressed his admiration. “He’s either extremely brave or he has a death wish, I’m not sure which.”

“Probably both,” she admitted.

“I think Singh was rather relieved to be relieved from the XO position. He won’t be happy if I have to rescind it.”

Tilly smiled because Nirav Singh had seemed exceedingly happy to be relieved of that position. It might have been the little bounce in his step after Chris had made his announcement.

“When did that develop?” Pike asked. “I missed it.”

Well, in his defense, he had decided to stay far away from the Doctor as she was dangerous.

“There’s layers upon layers of masks that he wears.  He lost his family, he couldn’t save DelRosso, I think he’s lonely and grieving, plus I’m sure seeing his people really hurtand… she’s lonely… and grieving… so… they’ve been dancing around each.  Plus, he **_ADORES_** her blueness,” Tilly admitted.

“Is that a word?” Chris teased. “Is blueness a word?”

“In my universe, it is. And don’t be jealous, as I love your silvery foxiness,” Tilly informed him. “Yes, those are two additional new words for you to learn.”

Silvery Foxiness, Chris playfully mouthed as he brushed back his hair to show off his silver streaks.

“Since I’m just living in your universe, I’m adding blueness to my vocabulary. Let me check the bridge, and then I’ll be back in our quarters,” Chris promised. He broke out into a smile, “I think we may have made some friends just now?”

“With the Tolerians? I think they just want your… DNA…” Tilly teased.

Pike laughed and shook his head. “No, no, they want my silvery foxiness, Sylvia.”

“Not getting it,” was her lightning fast retort. “Only I can possess your silvery foxiness.”

* * *

 

Tilly returned to their quarters, took a long shower and then stared at herself in the mirror. She didn’t look pregnant, didn’t feel pregnant, so it was probably her Tillyness that was making her apprehensive over a possible pregnancy. Because her Tillyness never permitted her to accept happiness, no instead her Tillyness always feared that her unworthiness would cause something to go wrong. Plus, she remembered… remembered… sweet… sincere…. **_Dead_**? Hugh Culber had given her the shot.

But her Tillyness still protested because come on, look at Chris. How the hell did she deserve him in her bed?  There had to be copious drugs and intensive brain washing involved.

“Now that is a lovely sight to greet me after a very long day,” murmured Chris. “Tell me what I did right so I can do it again and again.”

Sylva yipped and grabbed a towel to hide herself.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to frighten you. So, are we back to that now?  You’re back to hiding again? I thought you and I had gotten past that?” Chris questioned.  He didn’t bother to hide his disappointment.

“Just chilly,” she lied. “The Tolerians keep their ship slightly warmer than we do.”

For a moment, Chris appeared saddened because he knew that she was lying. He then nodded his head in easy acceptance to permit Sylvia her secrets.

“Jump into bed, and after I take my shower, I’ll see if I can warm you.” He smiled at her and then his smile faded, to be replaced by a look of sheer earnestness. “Then… afterwards, you tell me what’s wrong, ok? Because we’re a team, right? If something is bothering you, something I’ve done, you just let me know so I can fix it.”

“It’s nothing,” she insisted even as she bit her lip.  “Just sometimes I just can’t believe how lucky I am.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Chris easily admitted.  He leaned towards her and kissed her forehead. “You’re not upset about the Tolerians, are you?”

“No,” she could admit that honestly. If anything, it had been rather cute as Chris had been completely embarrassed by how the Tolerian females had inspected him.  (Ok- they had ogled him)

“I’m glad. Remember, you can always tell me that I’m an asshole. Whenever you want,” he reminded her. “Just not on the bridge.”

He winked and she smiled because God help her, she loved him.

“That’s better. Though you still look rather pale. If you don’t feel better tomorrow, go see Nessa. I have upmost faith that our stalwart and doughty commander will have her in a very good mood. Or else he’ll have died in the attempt. God, I hope I don’t have to write that report. That will be so hard to explain to Star Fleet.”

Another wink, and then he began to strip.

* * *

 

Something or some words had triggered Sylvia, as she had retreated back to being bodily self-conscious and shy with him. Therefore, after he showered, he kept the lights off when he returned to their bed.  He crawled in and to his surprise, she reached for him and clung to him. Something had truly rattled her as she trembled in his arms.

“I’m worried what will happen when we get into Federation space,” Sylvia whispered. “Everything will change.”

“It will,” he admitted after he brushed his lips against her forehead. “However, what we have, won’t. We may need to take a breather; we may need to step back and just spend some quality time together when we get back to get our heads screwed on straight. When that’s done and you and I are in a good, healthy place, we’ll have a serious conversation about you having little Sylvias.”

“We can skip the serious conversation and start now?” she whispered.

God knew how much he wanted that, but he had to be the adult, he had to be the responsible one of their coupling.

“Don’t tempt me.  It just wouldn’t be fair for you. I fear it will be quite chaotic when we return to Federation space and… to go through all that turmoil plus starting a family. I mean, would it not be nice to start our family in a nice, safe environment? Maybe on one of those pleasure colonies where all you do is relax and drink crazy drinks with umbrellas in them.  We won’t be a ship that’s falling apart on us, we won’t have craziness… we’ll have the two of us… maybe three by the time we’re done.”

Chris then slowly exhaled. “I’m an idiot. I know what this is about. I’m so sorry, Sylvia.”

“You do?” Sylvia whispered. “Are you ok with it?”

“You saw me with the kids, didn’t you? You know I really want to have children with you, and you want to give me that. But not at the risk of your mental and physical health, Sylvia. I’m not gonna lie, it’s gonna be really stressful when we get back, so I don’t want to be so focused on our return and the Janus’ crew homecoming, that I can’t support you asI would want. It has to wait, Sylvia. Because you deserve my full attention and complete support when you’re growing our family. Yet, as their captain, I have to get the Janus crew settled and get them help for what they’ve endured.”

Chris gave her a small smile, and explained, “I’m sorry but it’s how I am. I need to take care of my crew. You’re the most important part of my crew, however. So, I’m insisting that we wait. Please don’t be angry with me.”

“I know,” she whispered as she had been deeply moved by his sincerity even as her heart broke at the possibility that his well thought-out plans were for naught. “That’s the man you are, and I adore the man that you are.”

He hugged her and she clung to him.

“And I know that, secretly, you’re worried because I’m really old compared to you. I’ll see Nessa tomorrow, get a complete physical and I’ll start eating healthier.”

Tilly laughed because if she didn’t, she knew she would cry. That was her Chris, always trying to throw a little levity into a situation.

“Therefore, Captain Tilly…  I must … prove… to you that… while…. there is …. snow… on the …roof…, the fire is …. Still…. Raging….”  He thoroughly kissed her during each dramatic pause even while she giggled.

* * *

 

“I’m detecting some disturbance on our long-range sensors,” Singh announced.  Pike nodded his head and realized that everything had been rather … dare he admit … uneventful on the good ship Janus for the last twenty days.  The few Tolerians they had traded with had been pleasant yet still intent on his DNA (as he was pretty confident that acquiring his DNA was a running joke among the various Tolerians).

Whatever had caused Sylvia to retreat back into being shy with him had apparently dissipated.  Maybe something had spooked her, or maybe because they were having actual… date nights… and were settling into a somewhat normal relationship in which she had been reassured about whatever had bothered her.  Yes, these days there was a little less living high on adrenalin and a little more normalcy, of talking and conversations, rather than critical meetings.  Sometimes, they had even cuddled on the couch to watch an old movie.

One good thing about being mind-wiped by the Breen, he didn’t remember any of the endings of the movies.  

Plus, there hadn’t been a fire in twelve days, no rolling power outages and the ship’s engines were humming smoothly.  Even after his mandatory nighttime friskiness, he was obtaining six or more glorious hours of uninterrupted sleep per night with Tilly curled around him.

They were seven days out from Federation territory and everyone… anxiously waited for the first tell-tale ping from a Federation buoy.  A response would mean mail call and Federation database updates plus… news… and then the big announcement, “Hello, it’s the USS Janus. Miss us?”

Before he had to list everyone, who had died on the ship. That lessened his good mood somewhat but… he’d face that when he had to.

The good mood had infected the crew. Why, the little blue doctor in Sick Bay had been caught **_cooing_** and she hadn’t tongue slapped anyone in weeks.  Even after the Phaser Talk that Pike had given Vaya, her good mood had been maintained.  The ‘You do anything to hurt her, and I’ll space you’ talk had gone well, until Vaya had reciprocated his own warnings.  Vaya would use a cudgel on him if he hurt Tilly. The two men had agreed to properly behave with respect to their significant others, and then had shaken hands on it.  Immediately followed by a toast of some Tolerian liquor that tasted like honey, was smooth as silk going down and then burned like holy fire in his system. Plus, it had knocked him on his ass after two drinks.

Thank God he had slept through THAT hangover.

“Interpretation?”  Pike questioned.

“Might be a ship?” Singh decided.  “The interference that is being generated seems too uniform to be a natural phenomenon.”

“Commander?” Pike then asked Vaya. The Tolerian pulled up the displays and intently reviewed them after asking for intel on the Tolerian telemetry buoys. “Could they be hostile?”

Could they be Breen? Was the unasked question.

“I strongly believe that the Tolerian government have us monitored while we’re in their shipping zones. We have permission to access these routes as a ship in distress, but they’re keeping an eye out to confirm that we keep our part of the agreement. If it’s the Tolerians, the disturbance should clear up momentarily, as it’s just a friendly reminder that they’re out there.”

“Friendly?” Pike quipped.

Vaya turned to face Christopher as he spoke, “Not just for us, but any Tolerian clan that feels… rambunctious. We’ve left the heart of the Empire and some of the outer clans are a little…less… loyal to the current administration. There was an election, they lost and they’re pouting as they didn’t get to select the previous Prime or his successor. Good thing too, Yoshi wanted the position, the poor soul that got pushed into that position never wanted it. They usually make the best leaders, I’ve found.”

Pike quirked a slight smile.  “Then how did he get the position?”

“His wife, as the newly elected Tolerian Archon, wanted someone she could implicitly trust in the position. A ship’s captain fell asleep at the Council meeting, I believe, as he had been dealing with an engine fire for most of the previous day and night. When he woke, his stalwart crew were busy investing him into the position of Tolerian Prime, of All Houses and Yet of None, Father of All, and Yet None and all that ceremonial bullshit that means absolutely nothing but sounds so impressive to someone who doesn’t know better.”

He completed a ceremonial gesture as though remembering it first hand, and then he rapidly blinked as though he remembered that he was on the bridge of a Federation ship. “So, let that be a lesson to you, Lt. Singh. Never fall asleep at a meeting.”

Vaya nodded his head even as Singh laughed.

“How long has this disagreement …?” Pike asked.

“About six months maybe,” Vaya admitted. “New Prime was selected… recently…”

“What happened to the previous one?” continued Pike.

“The Archon originally desired someone she trusted, not someone she could control. There’s a difference, and events proved that she wanted someone she could control, Captain.  As Sun Tzu stated, ‘The Enlightened leader is heedful while the good general is full of caution’. Perhaps we should talk in your Ready Room, Captain?”

Pike nodded.

“If you’re quoting Sun Tzu, I think we should. Lt. Singh, you have the chair.”

* * *

 

Vaya sat and Pike stood in the ready room. Pike could tell it would be one of those conversations and pinched his nose to prevent a headache.

“I take it that you fell asleep on election night?”

One head nod was his answer while Pike exhaled.

“Who’s your replacement? Can you trust him?” Pike asked.

“I would assume it would be Bryce. He is the Senior now that I’m gone.  Galen and Mikkos do not have positions that will permit them to be of use as Prime. As for trust, I trust Bryce beyond measure.”

“I wish you had informed me of who you really were,” Pike admitted. “It’s difficult to trust someone…”

“I didn’t lie. I am no one, I have no cast and no kin because I had been cast out. I had hoped to merely extricate Raphael and make our escape so that his rescue might gain my readmittance,” the Tolerian admitted. “With Rafael dead…. I found myself desperately wishing that I could leave you to this mess, but I couldn’t. There are many reasons why I couldn’t just leave, but most importantly, it would have been morally wrong. We have morals, **_I have morals_** , though the Federation disagrees.”

Vaya exhaled, before he spoke, “My suggestion is that we do not deviate from the path, and pray to whatever deities might be listening, for no contact with these clans.  They do not like me, and your facial tattoos will be a problem.”

“Then why did you lead us this way?” Pike questioned.

“They shouldn’t be in control of this section.  They should be seventy clicks in the other direction. I had prepared my troops to anticipate the Breen would attempt to take our quadrant Five while they thought we were distracted with the Janus.  A general of no foresight, would have thought that my people would be at section 2 to grab the Federation ship and strip it of its equipment, making a Breen assault at quadrant five a likely way to divide and conquer our empire.  For these clans to be here, it means that Bryce pulled all the clans into the fight. The Prime is now reallocating positions back to the traditional sections, so we… they,,, must have beat the Breen back. ”

“You mentioned three of your senior husbands. You didn’t mention Tye.” Pike offered that slowly. “Is he deceased?”

“He was lost many years ago,” slowly admitted Vaya. “I did not have proof of what happened to him until quite recently.”

The sideways glances at his face, of moments where he remembered how Vaya had taken a double take when they had first spoke.

Pike tapped his face and asked, “Am I wearing his facial tattoos?”

Vaya nodded his head. Once.

“They’re not Tilly’s?”  Pike asked. He was surprised that his voice didn’t shake as he feared the answer.

“No, she would not have been marked until she took her first husband.  She certainly would not be wearing that particular story on her face. Forgive me, it’s sometimes quite painful to see your face as I grieve anew for Tye. He was… a very good Tolerian. It’s been so many years, and yes, I still mourn him.”

Pike swallowed, once, twice and then three times. “She is Tolerian, is she not?”

He couldn’t bring himself to mention her name.

“I don’t remember seeing her at the clan meets.  To have hair the color of the Denbudian sunset on the eve of Winternight would be noticeable or at least remarked upon,” the Tolerian admitted.  “She might be… the daughter of human traders who were captured by the Breen.”

“Or she could be Federation?” Pike questioned.

“She could be,” admitted the Tolerian. 

“She could be part of the Enterprise crew,” he thought. He didn’t realize that he spoke that out loud until after he had done so.  “Oh, dear God, no.”

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly was having a nice, long sleep in, so she was content to bask in her nice warm bed.  Captain Dimples had been exceedingly affectionate last night and all the Inner Tillys were still asleep plus **_hello_** , today was her rest day so there was no reason for her to get out of bed.  No, she just needed sleep to recover as Dimples had been so very thorough.

Until there was a reason to escape from her warm, comfy bed, she wouldn’t. However, she decided to steal Chris’ pillow. Sylvia made the mistake of inhaling as she had done countless times before. Just because his pillow smelled of him, and it comforted and soothed her because it reminded her of Chris’ steadfastness. To her surprise, her stomach violently rebelled at the overwhelmingly nauseating smell, and she barely reached the toilet before she vomited.

Up came everything she had ever eaten, had ever thought of eating plus a few spare parts of the warp coil. After her power pukes turned to dry heaving, she still continued to wretch until she was completely exhausted and there were tears down her face.

 ** _Guys, I really think we’re pregnant_**. **_She was wrong, we didn’t get the shot after all_** , Captain Killy protested. She unsuccessfully struggled to zip up her leather pants and her boobs were overflowing from her low-cut top. There were various other announcements from the inner Tillys regarding her exceedingly likely pregnancy, but there was one psychological specter who was uncontrollably crying.

 ** _She’s new_** , the Brianiac Tilly whispered. **_Everyone needs to settle down as she’s new to our family… and she’s really frightened._**

The inner Tillys thankfully quieted down as physical Tilly was having enough issues.  She verged on her own nervous breakdown, and couldn’t deal with anyone else’s at the moment.

 ** _Hi,_** the lead Inner Tilly spoke to the newest Tilly. **_You ok? Everything’s going to be just fine, I promise you._**

The red head sat in the corner of Tilly’s mind, and she sobbed as though her heart was broken.

**_Who are you? I don’t know who you are. Are you wearing a Federation uniform? Come on, honey. It’ll be ok, we’ll all here to support you.  Who are you? If it’s easier, you can give me name and rank, dearie. Quick have a little bit of Andorian brandy, it won’t hurt you and it might stop your tears._ **

When there were no tears left to shed, and the brandy had been drunk, the newest Tilly of the inner Tilly collective raised her eyes. She wore an exceedingly tight Federation uniform, which showed off her burgeoning curves and her swollen belly which shyly peaked from underneath her top

**_Who are you, honey?_ **

**_I’m Ensign Sylvia Tilly._ **

**_USS Discovery._ **

**_Captain Christopher Pike is my captain. Our captain._ **

**_And...._ **

**_and...._ **

**_He’s the father of our baby._ **

****

 

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've met the Inner Tillys, now it's time for Christopher PIke's Greek Chorus to arrive.

Christopher Pike dismissed his Executive officer at the end of their conversation. As the Tolerian made his escape, Pike slowly exhaled, grateful for the brief reprieve.

However, his inner Greek Chorus decided to make an appearance after Vaya had vacated, so pretty much the universe had decided that it sucked to be you, Chris.  Pike had noticed as he transitioned back into Federation Christopher Pike and moved away from Tolerian Pike, that he increasingly pondered what Robert April would make of the mess he was in. (Sometimes, he felt like he deserved to be at the wrong end of one of Rev. Pike’s thunderous denunciations about how badly he was screwing everything up).

Yes, as he pondered his life and the current issues that multiplied like fornicating bunnies, an entire chorus of choir members decided to show up in his mental psyche. Robert April, Reverend Pike (He’d never be DAD to Chris, but sometimes, he had rated a very heartfelt and sincere, ‘Sir’, on the few, rare times that they had connected), Philip Boyce (and really did Doc need to start offering cocktails as Rev. Pike was a teetotaler, and he was glaring at Chris as though it was his fault that mental adult beverages were being served?),  a somber young male Vulcan, who seemed stoic… however was **_thoroughly_** displeased at being roped in by Chris’ psyche to deal with the maddening crowd, and there were four women.  Sarah April, his Mom, and two women in Federation uniform whom he didn’t recognize but who seemed tight as thieves.   One was much higher rank the other, but that didn’t seem to bother them one bit. 

He marked those two as trouble. Definite troublemakers. Probably gave him most if not all of his grey hairs.

“There are times when I truly hate being a Captain,” he admitted to himself and his various Chorus members. “I have an Executive Officer who, at one time, was the War Lord who oversaw most of section we’re in. He obviously isn’t telling me everything he knows. The only intel I have is that he had a thermonuclear breakup with his nineteen spouses.”

The Chorus were orderly, he had to admit as they, as one, turned to face their Voice.  However, Chris did notice that Rev. Pike had uncontrollably twitched at his mention of Vaya’s line marriage. You can take Rev. Pike out of Mojave, but you couldn’t never take the religion out of Rev. Pike.

God, help him. It was time for Robert April to talk.  He learned everything he had ever known about captaining from April, but damn, did the man like to split hairs.

**_Chris, does he look you in the eye? Did he not fight to free this ship at great personal risk to himself? The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood._ **

**_Bob, no, please. I can’t handle Teddy Roosevelt right now. Not after DelRosso misquoted him. He readily admits that he was at one time, The Head Tolerian War Lord, and the Federation rejected his people’s application to join. I mean, were you there when he decapitated the Breen bodies in the hold?_ **

Robert April shook his head _ **.  Chris, he hasn’t decapitated anyone since, has he? He’s also spent a great deal of time with T’Seng in his free time and has helped rebuild her self-confidence. Things are running smoother with him on-board, as you’re not running yourself ragged trying to be everything for everyone at all times.**_

**_Should I trust him? Would you trust him, Bob? He had supposedly given up everything to help rescue Raphael._ **

**_He has,_** one of the women announced. He decided then and there to call her the Admiral. **_You don’t remember me, obviously. I’m a Xeno psychiatrist by profession. I can read him; he isn’t lying about the cost._**

**_Then, my dear Xeno psychiatrist - what type of individual would give up everything to rescue one person?_ **

**_You would, Captain.  Of that I have no doubt._** It was the young Vulcan who spoke.  His steadfast assurance truly touched Chris’ heart, but somehow it would have meant more if he only **_KNEW_** who he was. For all he knew, the Vulcan line officer could be Chris’ frazzled brain trying to recreate a stoic representation of Zeno of Citium in Athens.  With all these intense personalities demanding a voice, he needed a voice of Stoicism and Rationality.

 ** _Nor I, Chris._**  It was the other woman clad in Federation garb who voiced that.

“Bob, that’s not my biggest issue. Sylvia might be… an ensign… under my command. It was different with you and Sarah. You weren’t technically in her chain of command.”

**_Sylvia Tilly._ **

“After what the Breen did to me… as they drugged me and … indoctrinated me…”  Chris stopped in mid-sentence.

Ding. The light went on so brightly that he was surprised that the bulb didn't blow.

Well, fucking hell. Their relationship unexpectedly made complete sense after all.

Sylvia was in prime of her life, the time spent best relishing new experiences and drinking life from a waterfall… it had made no sense of him why Sylvia Tilly would willingly share his bed unless she was drugged and brain washed.  Seriously…. he was forty-six years old, and she was …. Twenty-six?

That was really bad. He didn’t even know her age but he knew her biblically.  Tilly had to be as drugged and indoctrinated as he was, if not moreso.

Dear God, if she was one of his ensigns…. God forbid … his Yeoman, he’d have to protect her from court martial as their relationship wasn’t her fault. After all, he remembered being the one sweettalking her into bedding him.

 ** _I hope you treated her with respect_** , Reverend Pike thundered.

 ** _Of course, he did!_**  Sarah protested.

**_If he fears that drugs and brain washing were involved, then can he be sure that he treated her with respect? They could have rutted like… animals._ **

“It’s a good question, Sir. One for which I am… currently reviewing the evidence,” Pike admitted.

First things first, he needed to command a sexual cease fire in his relationship with Tilly.

No sex until they clarified who and what she was especially in relationship to one Christopher Pike, Captain.

It would be hard. (Pun so not intended) To give up that physical intimacy with Tilly, even for a short time, would be difficult.  She was very affectionate and demonstrative, and her warmth filled a hole in his soul. It was amazing how a simple touch of her hand on his would make him… happier.

 ** _You’re so lonely, Chris. Is it such a bad thing for you to admit that you’re lonely?_** Mom asked. **_I’m sure you treated her with respect. Because you were raised properly._**

Thank God, Sylvia wasn’t pregnant.  He remembered Phil giving him his shot, but the very idea that he, pardon his vernacular, had knocked up his yeoman would be beyond disgraceful.

God, he hoped that she wouldn’t cry when he decided to call a cease fire, because he couldn’t handle that. It would be drug induced tears, but … still…

 ** _If it makes you feel any better, Bob still can’t handle me when I cry._**  Sarah April admitted that while Robert shook his head in mock protest over secrets divulged to a very amused studio audience.  Well, Chris had no doubt who the ranking officer was in that relationship, and it wasn’t Robert April.

Any other time, Christ would have found that tidbit amusing. Not now, not when he needed to figure out a way to talk to Sylvia about his fears.

Plus, a way to find out how to shut up his inner Greek Chorus would be beneficial as Phil Boyce, Bartender, had commandeered his mental bar (When had **_that_** showed up?) and was occupied dispensing mixed drinks. He’d go mad if he was forced to listen to the incessant tinkling of ice cubes in a martini glass as the Janus’ ice maker hadn’t been resurrected.

Robert April had his Old Fashioned, the Admiral had her beer…

 ** _Reverend Pike, drink a little wine for thy stomach’s sake_** , Boyce quoted 1st Timothy with a straight face. **_Mr. Spock, would you like something to drink? For medicinal purposes._**

The Vulcan’s stoic expression changed not a whisker, but Chris **_heard_** him inwardly screaming about his need to escape when Boyce handed him a small pink fuzzy drink. Well, he internally screamed as much as a Vulcan could, which was pretty darn loud.

Naturally that’s when everything went to hell. (So sorry, Reverend Pike).

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly pulled herself together.  She splashed cold water on her face, admitted that she looked as though she had cried a river or three, before she decided to hell with it.  It was time to face the music and hit Sick Bay.  She’d ask Nessa to run a few tests, confirm her fears and then tell Chris the news. Or not, if there was nothing to report.  

Be bold, be brave, be courageous, she mentally chanted.

She found Nessa sitting on her desk while Vaya gently rubbed her tail through his hands.  Nessa’s eyes were closed and she loudly cooed as the physical attention seemed very pleasurable. Until she realized that she had a visitor in her office and she snapped to attention. Her quick reaction caused Vaya to be soundly thwacked with her tail.

He yelped in the background and placed one hand on his aching jaw.

“Hello, what are you doing down in these parts?” Nessa asked.  Tilly noticed that her ears were quite pink as she was stone cold busted.

“I need a checkup,” Tilly softly explained.

“What’s the problem?” Nessa asked as she scampered off her desk.

“I need a checkup.” Tilly repeated that.

“What’s the problem?” Nessa asked.

Tilly glanced at Vaya and she expressively frowned in response.  Nessa’s mouth dropped open in a perfect, little blue “O”.

“Time for me to leave,” Vaya announced as he decided discretion was the better part of Valor. Or at least, he attempted to announce that but the Janus decided otherwise. The ship groaned and then went silent except for the very unhappy sound of metal shearing. “That’s not good. Vaya to engineering? Have we lost our engines?”

Alarm started to blare and the lights dimmed to Auxiliary power.  The normal hum of the Janus was silenced.

“Yes, sir. We are red across the boards,” announced one of the engineering ensigns. “Initializing a reboot.”

“Don’t!” Vaya ordered. “Wait until I get there. Captain Pike, I’m reporting to engineering.”

“Make it quick. We’ve lost the engines and auxiliary power. I need to know what happened. Life support is critical, so I’m ordering non-essential personnel move to desks 1 through 3 in case we need to evacuate. We’ll lose life support in Sick Bay in ten minutes.”

“I’ll grab my space suit on the way, Captain,” Vaya assured him. “Now you’re coming with me, ladies. Hurry. This is really bad.”

“Can’t you fix it?” Nessa asked.

“Your faith in me, while a true ego boost, has to be realistic. I’ve been hacking various systems for parts and trading what I could for the rest. I fear that this is end of the line for the good ship Janus.”

* * *

 

On the darkened bridge, Pike took command from a rather relieved T’seng. He was proud of her; she had come a very long way as she had held it together until he arrived.

“Any idea what happened?” he questioned.

“Cascading systems failures, Sir. We get one system up, another fails,” she admitted. “Warp core will go critical shortly unless we blow it. We had a yellow in engineering and then everything went red.”

“It’s that damn hologram system. I hate that system,” Pike muttered which earned him a very confused look from T’seng. “We had a similar issue on the Enterprise.”

She nodded once.

“Commander Vaya? If we need to evacuate the ship, what is out there? We’ve got thirty-four crew members, three working shuttles? We can put ten or so in each shuttle, and have three days of oxygen on them.”

“There should be Tolerian ships within three days travel,” was the response. “I’d recommend that you consider evacuation. I don’t know where to start and I don’t have sufficiently trained crew in sufficient quantities.”

“Yes, I am ordering a full evacuation. Would Yoshi agree to rescue us?” Pike asked as he wasn’t sure of Tolerian politics, the Tolerian dislike for the federation and what that would mean response wise for an open band distress call for any available ships in the area.

“I’d much prefer Bryce if I had a choice. He has honor; Yoshi has only a passing familiarity with the term. Send out a distress signal on the following frequency and specifically address it to Tolerian Prime Brycetecean.” His XO spat out a frequency with a specific modulation and Singh nodded that he had caught the necessary information.  “Loop it until he responds. That modification will ensure that it goes to his personal communication device along with the ships.”

A new alarm beeped and then Singh announced, “Sir, I’ve just received notification that the cargo bay has opened, and the Commander’s space craft has launched.”

Pike nodded his head in acknowledgement. It was too much to hope that Vaya would stick around for this cluster and he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry.  Vaya had signed up to rescue Rafael and had stayed, nevertheless.  How much could one individual give?

“Godspeed, Vaya,” Pike softly stated.

“Sir, it’s not Vaya onboard the craft.” Singh stated. “Dr. Nessa and Tilly are on board the craft. They appear to be on a plotted course as the ship is picking up speed. It is also broadcasting a SOS on the same frequency and the modulation the Commander requested.”

“Commander Vaya?” Pike questioned.

“Captain, I’m heading towards the data core. I’m pulling the ship’s brains and we’ll put them on one of the shuttles. You thought I left, didn’t you?  And miss all this fun?”  The Tolerian merrily laughed and Pike shook his head.

“You are deeply, deeply insane, Commander.” Chris didn’t bother to hide his amusement.

“You aren’t the first to tell me that, however you are the first to whom I wasn’t married,” quipped the Tolerian.  “I’ll put the core on a shuttle. We’ll need to redistribute the weight of the crew so the shuttle that has the data core isn’t overloaded.”

“I’m setting the self-destruct sequence,” Pike stated.  “Singh, lead the evacuation. Put thirteen each on two shuttles, the rest will be on shuttle with the data core.”

Evacauation from the Janus was a calm affair.  No doubt as everyone had reached the shell-shocked stage of complete exhaustion.

Pike met Vaya in the bay area and the last shuttle craft remained.  Vaya had managed to pull the data core into the shuttle and he panted from the exertion.

“Get in, Captain Pike,” ordered Vaya.  “There’s enough air and space for one more person on that shuttle, and that’s you. We put both of us on that shuttle, and we lose eight hours life support that you can’t afford to lose.”

“You go,” Christopher ordered. “I outrank you. It’s my ship, my call.”

“No, you don’t outrank me, Captain, as I have a tranquilizer gun.” Vaya informed him before he tranqued Pike.  Christopher almost fell to the ground when the drugs hit his central nervous system but Vaya caught him.

“This is a court martiable offense,” Chris warned. Or attempted to, as his legs weren’t working so he needed to focus on that.

The Federation staff protested this unexpected rebellion even while Vaya dragged him towards the shuttle.

Vaya hissed, “Listen to me, I didn’t come here to rescue Raphael. He was dying; there was no chance of saving him. He and I both knew that, and had accepted it. Instead, I came here to rescue… **_Captain Christopher Pike.”_**

He began to pull Chris’ uncoordinated body into the shuttle craft.  Several crew members assisted him for which he was rather grateful. Vaya sounded exhausted and Chris was a bit concerned that he’d drop him.

“Christopher, listen to me. You will get home. You will talk to Robert April and you will advise him that the Butcher of Ba’Kai is dead. That he died nobly, saving Federation personnel and you will convince your Ambassador-at-Large Robert April that the negotiations between the Tolerians and the Federation can be… reopened.”

“What?” Pike mouthed.

“Your previous Federation ambassador believed that I was a warmonger. That as long as I headed my people, he refused to approve our application. I offered to resign, to leave, but the Tolerian Government refused to accept it. My senior wife refused to consider it. So I left, and broke the very covenant of the Tolerian Government, in order to be declared outcaste and kinless.”

Vaya knelt before him and grasped Chris’ shoulders hard.

“Goodbye, Christopher Pike. Everything I have ever done was towards the one goal -- save my people from the Breen -- and it is fitting that it is the very last thing I will ever do,” Vaya insisted.  He buckled Christopher into a seat and then nodded his head before he left.  Once outside the shuttle craft, he spoke with some urgency. “Now, go, go, go! Ylsa, close the shuttle’s doors and go. Now, that’s an order.”

Ylsa shook her head in protest.

“Very well, then. Tilly and Nessa have been sent on ahead to your final destination.  It has been a pleasant surprise to realize that Raphael was not the lone Federation citizen with a sense of honor.  Fare thee well, Captain. Shuttlecraft Copernicus, run override sequence DelRosso Sigma Mach 9 triple 9er.”

The door shut and the engines began to rev as the Tolerian ran towards safety of the blast doors.

“He overrode the shuttle, Sir. I didn’t shut the door, Sir. I swear I didn’t,” Ylsa insisted.

“I know, Ensign.” Christopher Pike softly admitted as the shuttle began to move. “Where are we heading?”

“I don’t know, Sir. However, on the positive side, we’re catching up with the other shuttle crafts, Sir.”  Ylsa then paused before she quickly spoke, “However, I am unable to determine where Tilly and Nessa are currently located. Commander’s ship is a great deal lighter than this, and it was also built for stealth.”

“Smuggling, you mean,” interrupted Singh. “The nacelles are streamlined plus there’s a distinctive curve to them. That craft can move and maneuver. Pardon my language, it’s as fucking fierce as anything I’ve ever seen.”

“Familiar with smuggling, are we, Lieutenant?” quipped Pike.

“It may have been a traditional family activity at one time,” Singh softly admitted.

Pike laughed as he finally put together the pieces.

“You’re a member of the **_Smuggling Singh_** dynasty? Is that why Emerson’s liquor stash was legendary?”

Singh gave his captain a very weak smile. “I remembered to bring his last bottle to toast our arrival in Federation territory.”

“Good man,” congratulated Pike. “Remind me that I’m bringing you with me on the Enterprise when we get back.”

Singh said nothing but his wide smile was enough.

* * *

 

“So… you really don’t know how to fly this?” Nessa asked.  The two women had roused from their unexpected nap to realize that they had been kidnapped and were now in a tight two-person pod of alien design.

In the middle of outer space.

“No, I don’t. **_Why do you keep asking me_**?” Tilly asked.

“I just figured, you know, you’re the Captain’s wife, he might have given you flying lessons,” the little blue doctor decided then to explain her reasoning in greater detail as there was nothing else to do. “I mean, Captain’s apparently pretty vigorous but right now I am hoping that you must have done something in your off hours besides having copious amounts of sex.”

“Well, weren’t you involved with the guy who overpowered and stuck us in here?”  Tilly snapped as she felt the slightest bit space sick.  Ok, more than a little. “Well, I have to be honest, I’m glad that he did leave a note that says, ‘I wanted to ensure that you two survived,’ which really isn’t very reassuring when we don’t know where we’re going.”

Nessa nodded her little blue head and wiped her blue eyes hard.

“Can you read the panels at least?” Tilly asked.

“Not really,” the doctor admitted.  With her delicate fingers, she pointed out a few key features, “I think that’s the speed, that’s the fuel and this might be our destination based on how they’re acting. That seems to be increasing which our speed seems to be, based on a rough estimate. That’s the fuel, which is decreasing, and that blippie thingie is getting bigger and the blippie noise is getting louder.”

“Blippie thingie?” Tilly repeated. “You did not just call it a blippie thingie.”

“I’m a doctor, not a helmsman,” snapped Nessie. “And if it makes you feel any better, I think the blippie thingie is in fact a Tolerian Heavy Cruiser and it just noticed us. It’s heading this way.”

“Open hailing frequencies,” Tilly suggested as the Tolerian Heavy Cruiser had just dropped out of warp and was rapidly overtaking them.

Nessa was having just about enough of the universe. Her career as a Star Fleet doctor had hit rock bottom and her designated backup career as a Space Pirate was rapidly losing its luster. “Which button?  It might be that one, or will that open the hatch causing us to lose all our atmosphere causing our heads to violently decompress after I accidentally jettison all our environment into deep space?”

“Next time, you need to focus a little less on the sex and maybe learn to read Tolerian,” offered Tilly. “Just a suggestion however I’m not planning on being Tolerian-napped in the near future. Though if you had learned the Kama Sutra in its native Tolerian it would have been a win. I’m sure some of the words in it are similar to the writing on the panels.”

“Weneverhadsexwejusttalked,” blurted Nessa.

Tilly would have commented on that tasty bit of gossip when the ship’s controls went offline. Well, everything except for the environmental controls, shut down. There was a burst of bright light and the two women closed their eyes, and instinctively grabbed hands for moral support.

“We’re being tractored in,” Nessa whispered. “I really hope they like little blue aliens with tails.”

“Chris will find us, I know he will,” Tilly confessed even as she prayed that their latest captors preferred red-heads.

* * *

 

On day two in the shuttlecraft with no response to their hails, Christopher Pike had mentally reviewed any conversations with Robert April he remembered for what was now, the sixth time, and was about to go through them again for lucky number seven.  There must have been some pearls of knowledge that he wasn’t readily seeing, instead being overwhelmed by the overwhelming blarney.

“Captain?” The voice was soft so not to disturb him if he was sleeping.

“Yes, Ensign?”

“Nirav and I were wondering….” She paused and then blurted out, “Will you officiate our hand fasting?”

Chris open his eyes and realized that the kids were really nervous about asking him. To calm them down, he widely smiled and nodded his head. “Once we get back, you name the time and date, we’re doing it. I love marrying people.”

“No, Sir. We want it done now,” Singh explained.

“We don’t want to be like Tanaka and Emerson,” inserted Ylsa.  “We want to be together **_officially_**.”

Because the kids didn’t think they were gonna make it out alive.  Therefore, by the power invested in him by Star Fleet Command, Christopher Pike oversaw the hand-fasting of one young Deltan ensign to the dashing Sikh lieutenant.  Two young lovers’ commitment were witnessed by three approving security specialists and the taciturn data core who had nothing to say.

* * *

 

“Admiral Cornwell, I have Commander Saru for you,” the young ensign informed her.

“Very well, I’ll take it in my conference room,” she decided as she walked towards her sanctuary.  With a quiet sigh as she had no news on Pike or Tilly since her Tolerian contact had gotten pissed and taken his cookies with him, she sat down and then put Saru on screen. “Commander Saru? To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“We have a signal in the Tolerian section of space. How do we proceed?”

A red angel sighting in the vicinity of the last known Christopher Pike sighting. What were the odds that Chris wasn’t involved somehow? Pretty damn small. Kat was damn glad that Chris was going greyer faster than she was.

“With the spore drive, we could be there in less than fifteen minutes,” Saru explained.

“And start a war in the process, Commander.  The Tolerians will not be very happy if the Federation just pops into their territory. It might even start a war, so let me reach out to my contact and gain permission to enter their space. I can meet up with you in two hours at your present location, so wait for me. Cornwell out.”

She shut down the view screen and then called her aide. “Tell Leland I need a ride.”

* * *

 

Day three in the shuttle craft.

Christopher Pike had a blinding headache and he felt sluggish. He just wanted to fall asleep and some idiot kept talking to him. Finally, someone had just about enough of stubbornness and gave him a mid-sternum notch rub. It was painful enough to wake the dead so he moaned a protest.

He opened his eyes then, and then groaned when he recognized a concerned and familiar blue face peering down at him. Behind the blue alien, there was a tattooed alien who appeared quite perplexed by Dr. Nessa’s tough love medicine.

“Captain Pike, all the crew is accounted for except for Commander Vaya,” Nessa whispered. “Did he get off the ship? The Tolerians keep asking where he is and I have no idea. They’re really getting agitated about it.”

“He remained on the Janus,” Chris muttered as he tried to sit.  “He overpowered me and put me in the shuttle.”

The tattooed alien spoke in what had to be Tolerian and Nessa shook her head, even as Tolerian injected him with assorted medication.  

“Galen, I don’t speak Tolerian but I know you understand Standard,” she protested. “I know you aren’t fluent in Standard, but please, we need Mikkos or a translator.”

“Pardon. The ship self-destructed but there is red… thing… there… now.  We in race… get there first. What he know, he tell Bryce. Get up, we go.”  Galen spoke in a very heavily accented tone.

“Sylvia?” Chris asked Nessa, who shook her head.

“After we were rescued, Galen oversaw our care.  They moved her to a separate area almost immediately and they won’t tell me anything. Galen plays dumb when I ask,” Nessa admitted before she hissed her displeasure at Galen. Yes, all her teeth were on display.

“You have pretty smile,” Galen informed her. He laughed and smiled when she growled her frustration. “Very pretty blue tail also.”

“Flatterer,” hissed Nessa.

“I want information on my crew, including Tilly,” Pike requested.

“I’m afraid that you’ll need to speak to the Tolerian Prime first,” another voice announced. “I’m Ambassador Mikkos and I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke.  There’s only a handful of us that speak your language fluently.”

“There is a universal translator,” Pike protested as he stood. For a moment, everything went swirly but Galen grabbed him and prevented him going arse over tit.

“Subtle nuisances are lost when translation is done by a computer.  Only by speaking another language, can you gain true understanding of your opponent’s mindset,” the Ambassador explained. “Speaking of which, Galen, remove those tattoos. The Prime and Archon understand that he’s wearing Tye’s sigils, and why he is, but seeing them on him, might be very problematic for those of our family that remember Tye. His children are onboard, so your safety is dependent on this request.”

“I’m not your opponent,” Chris protested.

“Please remove them, Galen. It greatly distresses me to see our brother’s sigils on the face of a Fed.”

* * *

 

Michael Burnham, sometime mutineer, sometime Star Fleet officer and now wayward time traveler slash Avenging Red Angel arrived at the wreckage of the Janus.  She had only a limited amount of time to determined what needed to be done here, and since Christopher Pike had only told her a little of the events on the Janus, she was at a loss.  Since the Janus, since Boreth, the Captain was a pale imitation of the man who had appeared on their transporter pad a few short months ago.

“You here to help blow the ship?” a voice asked her. “Because the fucker didn’t blow. Typical Federation craptastic job.”

There was someone in spacesuit who was collapsed on the floor.  His gloves had six fingers, not five and the space suit had very distinctive feet.

“You see me?” she asked.

“Sensors says someone’s there, but I don’t see you. Pike set the ship to self-destruct but it failed. I’ve got most of the engines set to blow shortly, so you better leave. Unless you here to die with me, so introduce yourself.”  He barked a quiet laugh.

“You first,” Michael ordered.

“Officially, I am without a name or caste.  However, you can call me Vaya. You?”  the alien questioned.

“You’re the Tolerian Prime?” Michael asked. 

“Former, soon to be quite deceased, Tolerian Prime. If you're looking for the current one, his name is Bryce.”

A memory jogged; she then knew what she had to do. Everything was about to come full circle, because she had put it in motion.

“I’m afraid you’ve got a date in the future,” she informed him. “Your death is being postponed.”

 


	21. 21

We left Chris being rescued by the Tolerian version of Abbott & Costello – err Mikkos and Galen.

* * *

 

“Naturally, you can see your crew members before we remove the sigils,” Mikkos explained.

The Ambassador reminded Chris of every Ambassador Chris had even met, with a skillset that included verbal warfare, oral misdirection and the ability to charm the knickers off a nun (Except for Sarek, never ever Sarek, as Chris never understood the Amanda/Sarek dynamics except to Thank God and all God’s assorted various angels that unholy couple had somehow produced Spock.  Hey, that was a good thing as he was remembering Spock?). “Except for Tilly, she is currently resting.”

Pike stopped and exhaled, counted from one to twenty and then backwards twenty to one. “Is she ill?”

“She is…. Resting…”  the silver haired, blue-eyed Galen advised.   He spoke rapidly to Mikkos in Tolerian who nodded his head at various parts of the conversation. 

“Galen wishes to let you know that he personally oversaw her care and reviewed Dr. Nessa’s care when they arrived here.  Tilly was physically exhausted, so she was placed in a private room so she could sleep undisturbed.”

Ah yes, Galen, he was the one selected to join the line marriage as he was **_pretty_** , Pike remembered. The Healer seemed telepathic as he turned towards him and smiled.   The smile was bright as the sun and his blue eyes were seemingly as empty as space.  Right before the asteroid clipped your tail wing and sent you careening into a tail spin because you had been fooled by the vast emptiness of space.

Yes, Galen was playing stupid.

“I’d like to see her,” Pike requested.

“When she wakes,” Mikkos advised him.

 “I’d like to see her, **_now_** ,” he repeated a little firmer. Just in case there was a translation problem.

“When she wakes,” Mikkos reminded him, as though he was hard of hearing. “I understand your concern, but my brother would not have her sequestered if she did not require it.”

“Captain, don’t even try. Pretty boy over there wouldn’t let **_me_** see her as he pretended that he didn’t speak Standard,” Nessa angrily explained.  She hissed at Galen, who Nessa had deemed Pretty boy, who once again angelically beamed a vacant smile.  “She’s resting is all that they’d tell me. Pretty Boy is playing stupid and Glib boy…”

She hissed.

Both Tolerians stepped out of her two-foot tongue attack range, which spoke well of their common sense. However, Nessa could probably spin on her toes and thwack them with her tail if she well and truly pissed.

“Any use of your tongue to attack me would be considered an act of war,” Mikkos advised Ness, even as his eyes narrowed and the fake smile faded from his dark eyes.  “And if necessary, for protection purposes, Healer Galen can and will temporarily paralyze your tail.”

Mikkos then smiled brightly as though he was merely discussing the latest scores of the Andorian Wombats and how wasn’t it such a shame that they wouldn’t make the playoffs again, while Galen, who couldn’t be that pretty and empty headed, not if he was the Head Healer of a Tolerian War Ship, cheerfully grinned. Chris swore that he could hear the sound of ocean waves coming from the vast blank cavern between the Healer’s ears.

Though compared to his darker skinned crew members, he could see how the fair-skinned Galen was deemed exotic.  Perhaps… even… **_pretty_**?

Really?  Galen wasn’t stupid. Far from it.

He hated being played.

“Galen, let us show Captain Pike that we have taken care of his crew as is proper,” Mikkos smoothly inserted. “The Prime will understand that as a good steward of his crew, Captain Pike wishes to see them prior to seeing to his own health. We are somewhat overwhelmed as we’ve already taken on the crew of four ships that were heavily damaged, so we have to put your crew in one of the cargo holds. Please excuse us; we have tripled up occupancy in any available space plus station security. We’re trying to keep sufficient room to prevent any altercations due to fraying tempers as some clan disputes go back **_generations_**. However, due to your rank and our immense respect for your doctor, we managed to pull together private accommodations.”

“I’ve got a closet,” Nessa dryly stated. “You’ve rated the quartermaster’s office.”

The two Tolerians appeared concerned over her obvious lack of enthusiasm, and then Nessa giggled, “It’s a very nice closet. Small and cozy and private. Now, can the Captain see his crew?”

* * *

 

At that moment, Tilly was not technically resting. No, in fact, she was sedated.  When Nessa and Tilly had exited the spacecraft, they had been greeted by armed guards.  There also had been three older Tolerians males who Nessa easily identified.

“The one with the long white braid and the burn marks is Bryce, Tolerian Prime, the one with the salt and pepper braid would be Ambassaor Mikkos. The one with the silver hair and those intense blue eyes is Healer Galen as Vaya said he was the prettiest of the senior husbands. They are the ranking husbands in their line marriage,” she explained to Tilly. “As you can tell, we rated the big guns, literally and physically. All we need is for the Archon to appear and we’ve got ourselves a Royal Flush.”

Bryce gestured and the guns were lowered.  He bowed once and then gracefully extended his hands outward in a show of welcome

“I greet you, Sylvia Tilly,” he quietly stated.  Then in perfect Chistorian, he ritually greeted Nessa who was rather impressed at his fluency.  “You have had a long journey, so let my brother Galen examine you. He is our head doctor and he is familiar with your species’ physiology as he cared for Raphael while he was among us.”

He had a noticeable limp to his gait and he motioned for them to follow him.

“My brother Vaya advised us that you would be the first to arrive. We are adjusting our course to meet the remainder of your crew as quickly as possible as I understand that your shuttles have limited oxygen.”

Nessa stopped, “Brother Vaya?” Her voice was soft, and her tail slightly drooped.

“He unilaterally decided to leave the family, the family did not agree to his departure, so Brother Vaya he will be and will remain until we meet again,” Bryce softly stated.

“The Prime hates being Prime,” Mikkos stage whispered.

“I’m a munitions expert, not a military strategist,” protested Bryce. “I have a pathological craving to explode things. The bigger the boom, the better.  I should not be in this position for that reason alone. Alas, the Archon has a very dry sense of humor. She felt if the Federation found Vaya offensive, my promotion would just push the entire sorry lot of you into the Galactic Core where you could all implode with our sincerest regards.”

“I never found Vaya offensive,” protested Nessa.

Bryce gave a curt nod even as Tilly offered a quick agreement.

“If you’ll come with me?” Mikkos offered. “We’ll take you to medical.”

* * *

 

Galen motioned for Tilly to enter a small private room, while a very unhappy Nessa was ushered…. Escorted…Chistorian-handled to another room.

“Are you comfortable with me treating you? I can have a female come in for the exam?” Galen asked. “I’m also conversational in Federal Standard as the Archon insisted that the senior family learn it. Not… fluid… fluent?”

He grimaced.

“Can you close the door? I have some questions,” Tilly admitted as she settled on the stretcher. “Will it be kept between us?”

“Swear on my oath as a Healer,” he easily agreed. He also performed what seemed to be a ritual gesture as part of his vow.

“I-i-i-i might be pregnant,” Tilly confessed.

Galen nodded and simply stated, “If you require… options, I can offer them. No one need know.”

His sincerity and empathy surprised her and his genuine concern for her brought her to tears.

Tilly shook her head, “No, it’s a good thing, but we hadn’t planned it for… now… With everything happening… it’s just… we wanted to be somewhere…. Safe… when we started our family.”

“You are safe with us,” the Healer gently assured her. “Do not be worried about The Prime. His leg is paining him something fierce plus he mourns Rafael and Vaya.”

“What?” Tilly not so smartly asked.

“He believes Vaya passed on the Janus as he is not on any of the shuttles.”  Galen’s smile disappeared and he closed his eye to permit himself composure. “Vaya and he are… were quite close. They and The Archon built our family so his loss weighs heavily on The Prime. He also fears that he is not the Prime we need now. However, we have faith in him.”

Her eyes filled with tears. God, she was so emotional at the best of times, but… not Vaya, he of puckish sense of humor. She wearied of all the death that seemed to be following her since she had first stepped foot on the Janus, Devins, DelRosso and now Vaya.

“Does she have a name?” Tilly asked.

“Who?” Galen asked.

“Your senior wife?” She prompted.

Galen blushed, and admitted, “Yes, she does.  I use it only when we are alone among our family or during pillow talk. She is The Archon otherwise, as is the Prime.  For others to use her given name implies an intimacy that would be improper for the leader of our people.”

His exam was surprisingly thorough and then the moment of truth came.  Deep in her heart (belly?), she knew the results before he said a single word. Her inner Tillys were silent except for the newest member of her mental menagerie who softly sniffled. Her various inner Tillys (except for the one sobbing) held hands and several of them prayed to deities of the ninety-seven major religions plus a few of the lesser known ones. Their sincere (but far too late as Chris’ swimmers had bolted from the gate as if they were swimmers on a mission to knock her up) prayers were for naught.

“Boy or girl?” Sylvia asked.  Her voice trembled only slightly.

“Girl,” he informed her. “Among my people, if your first baby is a girl, it’s a very good omen. You’re maybe… four weeks… so still quite early.”

Tilly nodded her head once and tried not to cry.

 ** _I am Ensign Sylvia Tilly of the USS Discovery and I am pregnant with Captain Christopher Pike’s child_** , her inner Federation Tilly announced. Her voice was quite dead.   ** _He’ll be furious when he finds out. Culber gave me the injection, I know he did._**

“Don’t tell Chris. I want the moment I tell him… to be perfect… when he’s not worried about… the crew… and…  please don’t tell him…  Please… please…” Her voice broke as she wept for the dead, she wept for the baby… and she wept most for Captain Christopher Pike whose career she had just destroyed. The tears would not stop even as Galen permitted her to dampen him with her waterworks. He hesitantly embraced her and the simple compassionate gesture made her weep still harder.

Galen reminded her of nothing more than Hugh Culber… who was dead… she realized.

**_What about Stamets? Was he dead also? What about Michael? Chris… no… CAPTAIN PIKE was on the Enterprise; how could a mere Ensign from the USS Discovery know him?_ **

**_Why am I remembering him on the Discovery?_ **

**_You have beautiful nailbeds._ **

“I won’t say anything,” he promised. “I can give you… options… if you need them. Among my people, the females make the decisions.””

**_Uhm… I’m Ensign Sylvia Tilly. I’m… I’m Discovery’s newest addition to the Command Training Program._ **

**_AND I’M FUCKING PREGNANT. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE CURRICULUM!_** Screamed Captain Killy.

 ** _THIS IS AN AUTOMATIC DQ FROM THE PROGRAM_** , shrieked another Inner Tilly.

 ** _WHO CARE ABOUT THE CTP?  WE’RE GETTING THROWN OUT OF STAR FLEET_**!

 ** _Mom was right, I always fuck up everything. I always do_** , wept Brainiac Tilly.

“No… no… I don’t need…. Options…He’ll be so happy…” she lied as she was flooded with memories… of **_Ensign Sylvia Tilly and her countless Tillys who had people laughing at her. Not with her but at her, but this one, this was biggest fucking Tilly she’s ever done_**.  “The moment… I tell him… the good news… has to be perfect.”

**_You thought you broke a Captain before… HA! The universe has decided to show you how to really do it._ **

**_That warm smile with the dimples where he was laughing with her, not at her._ **

“We talked …. about naming…. our first girl… after his mother…” she explained, even while she cried so hard that she hiccuped.  “I wanted….a little boy… that looks like him… I swear… these are… happy tears…”

**_I can’t let him find out. I can’t let him find out.  I have to hide this until I know what to do. Omigod, I’m so scared. What do I do? What do I do? How do I handle this? I’m pregnant!_ **

“Can I see her? I know she’s just a blob of cells right now, but she’s,…. My… blob.”

“Of course,” Galen easily agreed. The Healer motioned for her to sit up even as he brought over a wheeled device. He tapped on it and there, suspended in midair was a blob. “This is your insides. Currently, she is the size of a jalan melon seed.”

He looked at her, and nodded his head. “You’ve never had a jalan melon, I take it. The seeds are very, very small and they insist on clinging to your teeth after you have a jalan melon. We need to expand the visual, and there she is. That’s your little circle of cells right now, but before long, she’ll look like a baby. If you will permit me, I will do a thorough scan to ensure that there are no issues so far?”

“She’s beautiful,” Tilly whispered, before she broke down into body shaking tears. “Please scan to make sure she’s healthy so far.”

 ** _Excuse me, she’s just a blob of cells, right now?_** Asked an inner Tilly. **_How can you decide that she’s beautiful?_**

There was a fierce response from the most unlikely of Tillys.

 ** _SHE’S OUR BLOB OF CELLS RIGHT NOW_** , Captain Killy stridently announced. **_WE WILL NOT LET ANYONE HURT OUR LITTLE BLOB NOW OR EVER. WE WILL BE THE BEST MOTHER EVER! WE WILL PUT ALL MOTHERS TO SHAME! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD? AND YES, SHE IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!_**

 ** _YES, MA’AM!_**  The Inner Tillys shouted.

**_WE WILL PROTECT HER FROM EVERYONE. WE WILL PROTECT FROM OUR MOTHER. WE WILL PROTECT HER FROM STAR FLEET AND WE WILL MOST ASSUREDLY PROTECT HER FROM CHRISTOPHER PIKE. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?_ **

**_But he wanted this?_** One lone voice asked that before her sisters turned to face her. **_But he wanted this. He wanted this with me._**

**_IT WAS THE BREEN WHO PLANTED THAT IDEA IN HIS HEAD.  TILLY SEX WAS MEANT TO BE A DISTRACTION, SO HE WOULDN’T REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING WAS A LIE. BUT WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HE’S A FEDERATION STAR SHIP CAPTAIN, AND TILLY IS AN ENSIGN, HE WILL NOT WANT THIS.  HE WILL NOT WANT TILLY! HE CAN HAVE ANYONE IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE SO HE WILL NOT WANT TILLY. WHAT HE WILL WANT IS FOR THIS ENTIRE EMBARRASSING EPISODE TO DISAPPEAR AND THAT WILL MOST ASSUREDLY INCLUDE OUR LITTLE BEAUTIFUL BLOB._ **

The inner Tillys gasped in horror.

 ** _We should trust him. We should tell him,_** pleaded an Inner Tilly. **_If he finds out from someone else, he’ll be so angry that we didn’t tell him._**

**_WE ARE NOT TELLING CAPTAIN PIKE ANYTHING, BECAUSE WE CAN NOT TRUST HIM. CAPTAIN CAN NOT USE THE POWER OF HIS DIMPLES TO WIN WHEN HE’S FACING MAMA BEAR, IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?  WE WILL NOT TELL HIM. WE WILL NOT TELL ANYONE. WHEN WE GET BACK TO THE FEDERATION, WE WILL RUN, AS FAST AS WE CAN._ **

The inner Captain Killy walked over to Federation Tilly who hysterically sobbed. In a soft voice, she whispered, **_I know you want to tell him. But we have to protect our little Blob, because she’s ours. It’s a little piece of Chris that only you will have. Don’t you want to keep that part of Chris safe?_**

Federation Tilly nodded her head and wept harder.

Killy sat down next to Federation Tilly and she hesitantly embraced her, **_I know, I know. You want to believe that Chris would be happy to continue… this… That he’d risk everything… his career…. His reputation… everything… to be with you and our little Blob, but you know it won’t happen, Tilly. He will look at you with nothing more than disdain and disgust for the madness that he endured, and that disgust will include our little Blobbie. We need to protect our little Blob, as we’re the only ones that can._**

**_He was so nice to me. He was so kind and patient. Unlike the others, he wasn’t… wasn’t ever… mean … to me. He never mocked me._ **

**_He was Chris,_** murmured Brainiac Tilly. ** _So sweet and affectionate. It was really easy to fall in love with him. Because for the first time, someone unconditionally loved you and all our little quirks. He didn’t try to turn  you into a better person, he didn’t want to fix your faults, he just wanted to be with you. Oh, honey, I fell in love with him, too. Like all of us did, even Killy did. Plus, honey, he was one hell of a lover, wasn’t he?_**

Federation Tilly nodded her head.

**_But it was the drugs, Tilly. It’s the only way we’d ever get someone like him, you know? They gave him a shitload of drugs so he would constantly want sex, and we were willing to provide it._ **

Tilly had to ask ** _, What’s so wrong with me? That even Christopher Pike had to be drugged and programmed to want to be with me? You don’t think… that the Blob will be embarrassed by having me as her mother, do you? Do you?_**

No answer from her inner choir, so Sylvia Tilly screamed her questions again.

**_CAN SOMEONE ANSWER ME, PLEASE?  SHE WON’T WISH SHE HAD SOMEONE ELSE AS HER MOTHER, WILL SHE? CAN SOMEONE ANSWER ME?_ **

**_CAN SOMEONE LIE TO ME, PLEASE?_ **

**_I WON’T BE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HER?_ **

**_LIKE I WAS TO MY MOTHER? I’M TIRED OF BEING AN EMBARRASSMENT. I WANT SOMEONE TO BE PROUD OF ME FOR ONCE._ **

**_I’M SO TIRED OF BEING A JOKE. I’M… JUST… SO… TIRED…I just want someone to love me for me…  what is so wrong with me? For the first time I felt… special… because it was fucking Christopher Pike who wanted to be with me.  You know… the girls on the Janus were jealous because I was fucking the Captain._ **

**_They wanted to be me, for once.  They wanted to be Sylvia Tilly, who right now, wishes she was anyone else._ **

A concerned Galen carefully took a hypnospray and applied it to Tilly’s neck. Her bout of hysterical weeping had him concerned as she appeared close to emotional collapse. Tilly stiffened when she heard the telltale hiss of betrayal.

“You… drugged… me….” She protested. “I… trusted… you…”

“You’re exhausted and you need sleep.  Your baby needs you to be stress free and rested,” Galen murmured as he carefully positioned her on the stretcher.  Then he placed one hand on her right temple and began to whisper, “Go to sleep. You’re exhausted and you need to sleep. You know you are safe because Vaya sent you on to me. He’d only send you to someone you can trust, someone who can help you.”

An exhausted Tilly was deeply asleep before long, so Galen summoned his senior spouses to Medical.  Once the three of them agreed to his summons, he began a rather thorough physical exam as Tilly’s emotional reaction wasn’t making sense. As a Stage 5 Empath, the amount of sheer terror and grief when she realized she was pregnant had badly rattled him.

Whatever had happened to Sylvia had happened in Tolerian space, so Tolerian justice would prevail.

And if Christopher Pike had raped Tilly, (but that didn’t seem to be the case, but her fear of his reaction to her pregnancy had … been so incredibly intense… that Galen had momentarily feared becoming completely and utterly undone) the Tolerian Prime would throw him out the airlock sans suit while the drums thundered and the crew cheered.

Regardless of Federation protestations, it was his duty as a Tolerian officer to ensure Tolerian law was maintained. He would report his concerns to the governing Triad and they would decide how to handle it.

* * *

 

“Behave,” Chris hissed at his favorite little blue doctor during a brief stop on their walk to the cargo hold. Mikkos had stopped at the quartermasters for additional supplies for the Janus crew, so currently Pike and Nessa were left to quietly talk amongst themselves.  “We need a ride to the closest Starbase unless you can breathe vacuum.”

Nessa nodded and then whispered, “They won’t permit me to see Tilly. When I was done with my exam, Sir, they had the three heads of the Tolerian Government in Medical. They had the Ambassador, the Prime and they had even pulled in the Archon, and they were waiting for Galen in his office.  He came out of Tilly’s sickbay and then went into his office. Closed door meeting and I wasn’t allowed to see her after they came out. Galen was only in there for a few minutes and afterwards he turned into the dumb pretty boy right then and there… This isn’t good, Captain.”

Chris motioned for her to continue, so she did, “As a Captain, you should have been greeted by **_their_** Captain. No, instead you rated the Ambassador-at-large and the Healer.  Plus, Galen’s a genetic quirk. The few Tolerians with blue eyes are customarily females, and they’re also Empaths. When a male Tolerian has blue eyes, they’re Empaths of extreme strength. Stage 4, sometimes even a 5. The Tolerians aren’t sure about you, Captain. You’re Federation, plus they know Rafael had difficulties on the Enterprise which you captained. Your greeters consist of someone you can’t read, and someone who can read you.”

“You know a great deal about our hosts,” was Chris’ response.

“DelRosso had gone native during his tour with them. He came on the Janus, hair braided and he was tattooed. Carefully done, so they weren’t visible in Federation clothes. I know what it’s like to be the odd one out on a deep space mission so I made an effort to reach out to him. Jury rigged the food processor so he could have his Tolerian noodles dishes. Learned about their holidays and their traditions, but something is really wrong here. The Prime greeted Tilly and me when we arrived, so something’s changed. Is Tilly ok?”

“What do you mean?” Chris asked.

“The atmosphere changed after Galen examined Tilly. Speaking as a concerned officer of the Janus, I have to ask, when you two get freaky, do you get… rough?” Nessa asked. Her ears weren’t just pink, they were scarlet. “By that I mean, abrasions or bruises? I mean, she did throw your back out, so I know you two are…”

Nessa covered her blue face with her little blue hands.

“Physically rambunctious?” was her strangled question. “Sexually adventurous? Possibly trying out the trampoline in the gym?”

“Absolutely **_not_**.” His response was louder than he meant it as both of their Tolerian babysitters turned to face him. “I would **_never_** hurt her.”

“Oh, thank the goddess, because the Tolerian punishment for rape is that the ship’s Captain tosses you out the airlock while the crew cheers the execution. The female ratio to males along the Tolerian is quite low, so they’re both in charge and protected. Wait… wait…” Nessa protested as Chris strode towards his babysitters.

“I would never, ever **_hurt_** Sylvia,” he informed Galen. “ ** _Never_**. Do I make myself clear?”

Galen blinked and Pike grimaced, “Stop playing stupid. I highly doubt Vaya tolerated stupidity, let alone married it.”

“They married me because I was pretty,” Galen easily confessed. “Not for my brains.”

“I’m sure that the possibility of having little Tolerians with your gift might have come into play. I don’t particularly care for Telepaths… and I’m not so sure about Empaths, but if you wish to rummage through my mind to prove that I did not hurt her, go right ahead,” growled Chris.  “And as for Rafael DelRosso, he and I made our peace before he died.”

Gone was the blank expression, instead Galen appeared … contemplative as he weighed and measured Christopher Pike. At last, he turned to Mikkos and nodded his head once.  Mikkos visibly relaxed.

“I will see her,” Chris quietly stated.

“She’s sleeping, as she was … emotionally exhausted. She should sleep for some time as I sedated her,” Galen stated.

“You **_what_**?” Pike questioned as he stepped towards Galen.

“I sedated her as I felt it medically necessary,” Galen explained. He stepped towards Pike even as Nessa made a sardonic comment about pissing matches and dick waving.

Chris stepped closer to the Healer and then the ship around him took on an amber hue.  He was about to speak when there was an overhead announcement and Mikkos motioned for him not to talk.  The announcement was brief, but the effect was immediate.  The crew went from every day calm to a heightened sense of alert.

“Change of plans, you’re not seeing your crew. The Janus didn’t self-destruct and there’s a red signal of some sort. We’re pulling all the various captains in for their input, so you’re invited for a meeting with our leaders. There’s nothing we can do about removing Tye’s sigils from his face in the next ten minutes?”

Galen shook his head.

“It may help you actually, as it will prove that the Breen are acting against the Federation. Enemy of my enemy will attack each other and leave us out of it. That was Vaya’s words of wisdom,” Mikkos admitted.

* * *

 

“Enter,” a voice announced.

Chris entered the room and he was surprised to see that there were only two Tolerians present. One male, one female. The male didn’t look up from his desk, but he continued to speak, “Opening offer. My wife wishes to offer twenty cases of Draxylian Whiskey for your little blue doctor with the tail.”

Pike grimaced and he heard Nessa hiss. Two could play that game, so he retorted, “I’m sorry, she’s of such sterling quality that nothing less than seventy-five cases would be the minimum offer I’d consider.”

That was enough to buy a small freighter, so there was no way in hell that he’d get that price.

“Done. We’ll transfer the liquor over.”

Nessa slapped him with her tail hard, and hissed, “What is it with you and trading staff members for alcohol? I’m filing a complaint with my new Captain and then I’m reporting you to Star Fleet as you have a very serious alcohol problem that needs to be addressed. However, if you drink seventy-five cases of Draxylian whiskey, your liver will **_implode_**.”

There was a soft cacophony of noise which Pike realized was the Tolerians’ laughter.

“Captain Pike, please sit down. Doctor, please also sit down. It has been… sometime since I last met you,” the male spoke. “I thought it best in the interest of safety that I discuss this matter with you separately as opposed to with the other four ship captains. So, let us unbraid our hair, and freely speak regardless of rank. Mikkos, can you please ask the staff to serve dinner? Remember, the doctor only gets a half-serving of whiskey. She’s feisty enough sober, Goddess help us all if she gets drunk.”

The Tolerian males undid their braids and the female motioned to a very perturbed Nessa to sit down.

“It appears that having obtained the role of Prime; it has aged me, as you do not recognize me, Christopher. Doctor, please, we did not seriously trade for you, however if you wish to join us, we would be delighted to have you join us.  Both Raphael and Vaya spoke highly of you, plus… Galen could use another doctor,” the Tolerian Prime stated.

“You have me at a distinct advantage,” Pike admitted.

“Starbase 32? I was there when the Tellurian Ambassador decided to hit Raphael with a piano bench. Apparently, the Ambassador wanted a stirring Tellurian march played, but he took it unkindly when he was outvoted. I’m Brycetean?” The Prime shook his head, “Bryce? You really don’t remember me?”

“The Breen have done something with my memories,” Chris admitted. “Everything is hazy.”

The woman spoke then, “Then we have a problem, Christopher.  We had hoped you might be able to explain these seven red signals. Do they look familiar to you?”

The Archon gestured and seven little dots appeared in the universe.  They hung in the air, and the Prime began to explain, “As you can see, they predominately appeared in Federation territory. One was in Beta Quadrant, and one was in our territory. They first appeared when we were busy fighting off the Breen. By the time, we were able to arrive at the location, the signal was gone and there was nothing there to explain them.”

Chris viewed the red splotches and something clicked.

He was on a Starship; the crew was wearing the old Federation uniforms while he was in goldenrod. His new crew, not the Enterprise…. But the **_Discovery_** , they had just…. jumped… **_jumped?_**   to the coordinates of the first red splotch and there was nothing there. Just an asteroid shedding debris.

“I was expecting a red thing. Where's my damn red thing?” he whispered.

Connelly was dead.

And Ensign Tilly had brought a dark matter asteroid onboard just for shit and giggles among the science corps.

Ensign Tilly.

Ensign. Sylvia. Tilly.

**_Ensign. Sylvia. Tilly, who he had been regularly fucking for the last two months._ **

**_SHE WAS HIS ENSIGN!_ **

**_HE HAD BEEN FUCKING HIS ENSIGN FOR THE LAST TWO FUCKING MONTHS!_ **

**_CHRIS, BREATHE. CONCENTRATE ON THE MISSION. THE FUCKING RED THINGS,_** Robert April reminded him. **_DAMN RED THINGS NOW, CHRISTOPHER PIKE, TILLY LATER._**

“The damn red thing has reappeared,” the Archon explained. “The coordinates are the exact location where the USS Janus is. What would the Janus have to do with those damn red things?  The Federation has requested permission to enter our territory. We have granted it with the understanding that we get there first, so we are burning out our engines to ensure that we arrive first. What is the damn red thing?”

“We’re not sure. We had two recent encounters. The signals were gone by the time we arrived, but each time, there was someone or someones in need of rescue. There was a downed Federation medical transfer ship the first time, the second time, there was a colony of humans that were about to experience a nuclear winter but we prevented that,” Pike answered.

He compartmentalized himself, answered whatever questions they had even while he ate. However another part of him was focusing on the problem of one Sylvia Tilly.

“While officially we are not in communication with the Federation, we have a way to contact one of their Admirals. We have reached out to her, and once she responds, I know she will wish to talk to you,” the Archon advised him.

Pike nodded his head.

“Is possible to speak with Sylvia? I want to talk to her,” he requested. “Galen, please?”

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly woke from a very deep sleep. First thing, she touched her tummy and sent massive reassurances to Blobbie, on how much she was loved and wanted. How she was utterly perfect because she took after her father. Then she opened her eyes to see Christopher Pike sitting next to her bedside. His eyes were shut, and so help her, she thought he was praying.

“Captain?” she whispered.

His eyes opened and he smiled. It was an odd smile, not his usual warm smile, but tentative… guarded. She noticed how his eyes weren’t focused on her, they were looking at anything but her.

“Hey, how are you feeling? Galen said you were exhausted?” Chris asked. “The last few months have been really rough, so I’m glad you could get some sleep. You still look pale, are you sure you’re feeling better?”

**_He knows, Galen ratted us out!_ **

“I’m fine. Just needed a nice long nap,” she lied.

Christopher said nothing and then he began to speak, quickly. “I just received some information and I needed to talk to you. I hope you know that the last two months with you… has been …. Amazing. It really has been, but… it has to stop. It has to end. It’s not you, oh God, believe me, it’s not you. It’s…Sylvia… I just found out… I’m your commanding officer. I’m your … Captain. You’re an Ensign on the Discovery, Sylvia.”

“What?” she asked.

**_I told you. I told you he’d be too embarrassed to continue it. He can’t even look us in the eyes._ **

“The blame for this is completely mine, as I kept pushing the idea of us…” Chris stopped and then closed his mouth.

“Fucking, you can say the word, Captain,” her voice sounded like hers, but it was Killy who spoke. “We fucked. **_Repeatedly_**. **_Incessantly_**.”

“I want you to be angry, Sylvia…” Chris.. no Captain Pike requested.

**_He’s being sincere. Ignore it. You need to be a Mama Bear right now._ **

“Ensign, you will address me as **_Ensign_** , Captain Pike,” Killy interrupted.

“I want you to be angry with me; I want you to be furious with me. When we get back, this entire issue needs to go the Board of Inquiry. What with DelRosso, Devins…us… it has to reviewed. But I’m promising you that I’m getting you help. Anything I can do for you, I will. I swear. You won’t be out of the Command Track Program and you will still be on the Discovery. Your friends are there, Michael’s there, and you’ll need them now. I’m just temporary so I’ll be gone soon. Saru will take over your mentorship, and you will never have to deal with me. You just let me know what you need, and I will do it. This relationship between us will not be a blemish on your career, I swear to you, I will do everything I can, pull in every favor owed me to protect you from the fall out. You have to believe me when I tell you this is not your fault. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise."Pike was talking fast, unlike his usual laconic speed. That speed, that cadence appeared when the Discovery or its crew was in trouble, and Captain Pike had to make an appearance.

**_You think you can solve this? You think you can just make everything better?_ **

“You think you and I can be on the same starship after this?” Tilly asked. She couldn’t even try to hide her disbelief. “You think it’s possible for me to be in your chain of command after this?”

**_Oh yeah, I’d love to hear you answer that when I’m fucking eight months gone and bigger than a shuttlecraft, waddling in front of you on a daily basis._ **

“I’m hoping we can. I’m only temporary, and you’ve got your friends there. Right now, I think you need their support,” he requested. He pleaded, “We can do this. I will protect you from the fallout as this is my fault.”

Then with a Mama Bear strength that came deep from within, Sylvia Tilly turned towards Christopher Pike and spat, “You really think we can be on the same ship after this? You are a **_fucking_** asshole, Christopher Pike.”


	22. Chapter 22

Then with a Mama Bear strength that came deep from within, Sylvia Tilly turned towards Christopher Pike and spat, “You really think we can be on the same ship after this? You are a  _ **fucking**_  asshole, Christopher Pike.”

Pike flinched at her acidic vitriol. He then collected himself enough to softly agreed with her, because she was right. “I will not disagree with you. I shouldn’t have permitted what happened… between us to progress to the point it did. It was the drugs, I wouldn’t have… touched you except for the drugs.”

He immediately regretted that admission as Sylvia’s eyes widened as though he had physically slapped her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Tilly might be the most amazing raw talent he had met in years, but he knew… how **_badly_** her mother had destroyed her self-esteem. How long it taken him to patiently build her confidence up enough for her to trust him.

**_In the afterglow, Sylvia softly whispered, “Was I ok?” She sounded so doubtful, as though her other lovers had disparaged and criticized her._ **

**_“You were amazing,” he assured her as it was the honest to God’s truth. And his sincerity caused her to smile because she was so happy._ **

_Sylvia, you need to give yourself more credit. When this insanity is over, I want to help you believe in yourself more. You have been my rock and my sanity in this disaster, plus you make me smile.  
  
_ _It was the drugs, I wouldn’t have… touched you except for the drugs._

**_That comment didn’t help her self-esteem, Chris. It just nuked it back to the Stone Age._ **

“I had guessed that, Captain. Now, I would appreciate you leaving…now,” she softly requested. “Please, just go.”

“I am… incredibly sorry…” Chris admitted. He bit his lip and then nodded his head. “Anything I can do for you, you … you… let me know, please?”

It was gasoline on a forest fire, as Tilly exploded.  He took it, because he deserved it and more.

“The times I can trot you out so you can proudly tell everyone how the very distinguished Captain Christopher Pike only fucked me because he was heavily drugged are rather limited.” She paused and then she bitterly laughed, “I know, next time I visit my mother, you can come along and tell her. She’ll be so impressed about how you fucked me only because you were drugged. You promised… promised… that you would defend me to my mother… but … that … character reference… will only prove her point that I’m a complete and utter fuckup.”

Tilly's voice changed as she mockingly commented, "Oh, Sylvia, if you had only listened to me when you were younger, you wouldn't have to drug a man for sex. Did you have to pay him also?"

“That comment did not come out the way I meant it,” Chris softly confessed. "I can't apologize enough."

“The one thing I always admired about you, besides your dimples, was your honesty, Captain. So you meant it, so for now, just go, that’s what you can do for me right now.” Her big blue eyes were full of tears that were all his fault.  Sylvia… no… Ensign Tilly appeared literally sick to her stomach, thanks to him.

Healer Galen politely knocked on the door and then barged into the room.

“Out. Go to Bay 5,” he ordered Pike.  Pike opened his mouth to protest, and Galen just shook his head in disapproval. “Captain, please. It’s best for her if you leave now.”

In response, an exhausted Pike deflated and softly requested, “Please… please... take good care of her.”

“Naturally,” Galen retorted. “Now, out.”

Tilly waited until Pike had securely closed the door behind him. Then she faced Galen and asked, “Did you tell him?”

She managed to hold herself together even while her inner Tillys hysterically screamed how they could never let Chris know about Blobbie because he’d insist on an abortion.

 ** _I thought he really cared_** , whispered one Tilly. **_He told me that he loved me. I believed him, because I just wanted to have someone love me._**

 ** _It was the fucking drugs, idiot.  We have to run, run as fast and as far as soon as we can. Maybe, Po on Xehia can help us?_**  Killy suggested.

**_Just for the love of God, will all of you just SHUT THE FUCK UP!_ **

“No, as per your request,” Galen simply stated. He handed her a container and advised, “Drink this. It has protein, nutrients, assorted vitamins and various minerals you need right now. It will also settle your stomach. As an experienced healer, I notice that you have the expression that means vomiting is imminent.”

“I should have vomited on him,” Tilly stated, while Galen attempted to look… indifferent. But his eyes were highly amused.

She uncapped the container and sniffed it. Then, she took a hesitant sip before taking a more generous sip.

“This is actually pretty good. Now, can you remove the facial sigils?” She requested. “I want them removed as soon as possible.”

“It will take several days to rid you of them due to your fair skin. I don’t want to leave you with scars,” he informed her. “Now drink up. All of it, then back to bed. You both need to rest.”

“Can you keep me visitor-free for a bit?” Tilly requested.

“Of course. Now, I reviewed all the scans, and everything looks… **_perfect_**. Now, what information can I give him when he asks? I won’t mention what you told me not to mention, but I need to give him… something. I could tell him the truth…” Galen paused.

Tilly began to protest and he reached for her hand, and squeezed it. His touch was calming and reassuring, as though everything would be ok. God, he was so much like Culbert, warm and compassionate, even while dealing with a host of crazies (see Stamets, see Galen’s co-senior husbands for comparison graphics and analytics)

But Culbert was **_dead_** , and Stamets was in deep despair, and … and… Vaya was gone…and…

“That you have experienced a great deal of emotional and physical trauma in the last few weeks. Between that and the fact that I need to carefully wean you off the drugs the Breen gave you, I feel it best to keep you here so I can monitor you. It’s the truth,” he informed her. Then with a wink, he added, “Just not all of it.”

“It’s complicated,” Tilly mumbled, as she rolled back onto her side. She yawned but remembered to murmur her thanks when Galen covered her with a blanket.

“It always is, little sister. Sometimes, a little sleep will help the most tangled of knots unravel.”

“Can I just stay here?” Tilly pleaded. “You’ve got so many spouses; you wouldn’t notice another one.”

“We would,” he softly assured her. “Especially one as pretty as you.”

“Chris told me I was pretty, but it was just a lie,” she whispered.

* * *

 

Chris was in Bay 5. The silver-haired Tolerian Healer entered the bay and began the exam.  The doctor wasn’t Phil or Pollard, or even Nessa, but he was quite thorough and polite, which was a pleasant change. He also didn’t possess a prehensile tongue or a tail that was classified as a weapon of destruction, so Pike was happy. While it was obvious that he wasn’t happy with Pike for upsetting his patient, he managed to keep his opinions unvoiced.

“I understand that the Breen captured you and indoctrinated you into believing you were a Tolerian War Lord,” the Healer finally stated after a very long, very thorough exam. “Having been married to several, I don’t think you possess the sheer level of crankiness that position requires. What do you remember of your past life? Your true past life?”

“I’m the temporary captain of the USS Discovery,” Chris admitted. “Normally, I am the Captain of the USS Enterprise.”

Galen nodded his head and then pondered that admission for a bit.

“You’re succinct also.  Another confirmation that you’re not a Tolerian War Lord, because most of them would have tacked on the claim that they are the acting captain of the Janus also,” Galen quipped.  “As your Healer, I can assure you that our conversations will remain private unless you permit otherwise. That means that I can only give you what information Tilly wishes you to have.”

“I want to know everything as I’m her…” Chris bit his tongue before he could claim to be her … bondmate… husband… lover…  “I’m her… captain.”

“Not how it works here, I’m afraid. I can tell you that she has experienced a great deal of emotional and physical trauma in the last few weeks. She has been drugged by the Breen, and I need to ween her carefully off those drugs. She’ll be spending the next few days here as I need to monitor her vitals. The doctor on the Janus,” Galen shook his head, “She took a hell of a risk taking you off the drugs the way she did. You’ve got the Luck of the Six that you didn’t have a psychotic break.”

“I… had a ... break, I used a pain stick on DelRosso,” Pike slowly admitted as he thought of Singh’s mental collapse, of how he had injured DelRosso… how… DelRosso’s blood... weighed down his soul. 

_It was the drugs, I wouldn’t have… touched you except for the drugs._

“No, you were still on the drugs when you did that based on Dr. Nessa’s findings.  That particular medicinal cocktail causes rampant paranoia and a very short fuse,” was Galen’s succinct explanation.   “Now, I just need to do a few scans to confirm how you are doing. Then, may I remove the sigils? Let me just check something first.”

Pike nodded his head and Galen motioned for him to lie supine. He closed his eyes, felt Galen’s hands on his face and was surprised that he felt drowsy. No, perhaps the feeling wasn’t merely drowsy, it was though he was drowning in waves of exhaustion. It would be so easy to slip into slumber.

“Is this…tiredness… you?” Pike slurred.

“You’ve been running on sheer adrenalin for the last few weeks, Captain. It’s understandable that your body is telling you that it needs a rest. You’re safe and most importantly, your crew is safe. Lay down your burdens and all your cares, Captain. You are safe among the Tolerians, Captain.”

“Galen?” he mumbled. “Will she be ok?... I never meant to hurt her. I really didn’t know who she was, I swear.”

“Go to sleep,” the Healer insisted.

“I don’t … who I … am… anymore. Or what…” admitted Pike.

“Shhh… go to sleep,” whispered the Healer.

* * *

 

The Archon, Head of the Tolerian Government, motioned for her two of her three husbands to join her for a quick conference.

“Mikkos, your Admiral friend is very, very insistent on talking to Captain Pike. I advised her that Pike was under the care of Galen for space exhaustion and was incommunicado. She is not happy with that response; do you think any of the … **_children_** … on that crew might be enough to satisfy her need to speak to someone from the Janus? She hails us **_constantly_**.”

Mikkos chuckled and she glared at him.

“I seem to remember that you were younger than Singh is when you first took command of a ship. Give her Singh and give her the Doctor. Nessa can confirm that Pike is need of medical care and that we are not holding him hostage,” Bryce suggested.

“It was different for me as I had five stalwart souls to support me. Mikkos, you will sit in with them when they talk to the Admiral. We need representation during their interrogation as the Federation will no doubt attempt to make us look bad.”

Mikkos nodded.

* * *

 

Admiral Cornwell was inwardly amused how… **_annoyed_** … the good crew of the USS Discovery was over her refusal to use the Spore Drive. They desired nothing more than to Spore drive in, **_immediately_** , to rescue **_their_** captain and **_their_** ensign. It was a far cry from the uneasy, suspicious atmosphere that Chris had described to her in their early daily briefings.

“Admiral, we have a communication from Ambassador Mikkos from the Tolerian Empire,” Lt.  Bryce reported.

“On screen,” Admiral Cornwell requested.

She (and the rest of the Discovery crew) had hoped for Christopher Pike. Instead, there a young lieutenant junior grade that she didn’t recognize and a blue Federation doctor plus the Tolerian ambassador.  The brightly dressed Tolerian was pouring Draxylian Whiskey into glasses and he handed the glasses to both Federation officers with a motion to drink.

“As the Archon had explained earlier to you, Admiral, Captain Pike is incommunicado at this time. He is being treated by our Healers. Once he is recovered enough to talk to you, he will reach out to you.”

The lieutenant’s hands shook as he gulped the drink, and then he coughed.

“Savor it,” Mikkos instructed in the voice of a kindly uncle who was assisting with his nephew’s first pub crawl. “Anyway, as Captain Pike is not currently available, I am presenting you with the best options. Lt. Nirav Singh, XO of the USS Janus along with their Chief Medical Officer.” He then made a long bird call and the blue doctor beamed. “However, she also goes by Dr. Nessa, for those that cannot manage the triple dipthong.”

“Lt. Singh,” Cornwell then gestured at the Discovery crew to get her information on the young man who was wearing a far too large uniform. “Are you the senior surviving officer of the USS Janus?”

The young man’s haunted eyes appeared as though he had stared too long into the abyss and that it had gleefully waved back. Cornwell made immediate plans to call in every damn counselor she could for the Janus crew. If he was the best option, that crew needed psychological help **_yesterday_**.

“Actually Dr. Nessa is, but she is our only doctor, Ma’am. Captain Pike field promoted me to the position when he took over the Janus. I want to make sure that I mention that the Tolerians have been exceedingly helpful to the survivors of the USS Janus,” Lt. Singh stated.

“Oh, Singh, now the crew of the USS Discovery fears we’re torturing you for that comment,” Mikkos dryly remarked.

Singh trembled, and Mikkos gently patted him on the shoulder.  “Finish your drink,” the Ambassador ordered. “Just savor it this time.”

“But if it wasn’t for Commander Vaya helping us rebel against the Breen, we’d be dead,” Singh intently reminded Mikkos. “Plus, your ship rescued the survivors when the Janus’ systems failed.”

“Vaya?” Admiral Cornwell interrupted Singh. “As in Vayalimirte t’Kandranos, the Tolerian Prime?”

“The previous and now believed **_deceased_** Tolerian Prime,” Mikkos inserted. Then in a flat tone, he added, “We believed he died on the Janus, saving Federation personnel.”

He sniffed a laugh, before he tersely added, “Rather ironic, if you ask me, Admiral.  You tell your Federation committees that Vayalimirte t’Kandranos, at great personal risk to himself, was key in liberating your Federation personnel from the Breen. Did not your committee members decide that the Breen did not pose a current threat to your United Federation of Planets? Have your committee members ponder **_that_** in the wee hours of the night. Unless capturing ships and personnel is no consequence to the Federation, I fear your threat assessment is incorrect.”

Silence, and then Singh shook his head. “I don’t understand,” Singh finally confessed. “You have helped us. We’d be dead or worse without your assistance. Shouldn’t I have acknowledged that?”

“Don’t you worry, Singh. It’s the game of empires on which billions of lives are won or lost on the uncaring throw of the die. It’s always being played, where a simple thank you can take on a far greater meaning,” Mikkos said. He then squeezed Mikkos’ shoulder again. “We’ll get you and your crew home as Vaya promised. Finish your drink as its really good whiskey. Now, any more questions, Admiral?”

“Lt. Singh, the Janus had a crew compliment of eighty-nine, how many of you are left?” Cornwell asked.

“If we include Captain Pike and Tilly, there are thirty-two of us left.”

“Please send me a list of the surviving personnel. Ambassador Mikkos, I wish to speak to Captain Pike as quickly as possible. Lt. Singh, and Dr. Nessa, please inform your crew that we will meet up with the Tolerians shortly, and you will be home soon. Ambassador Mikkos, if I may have a word with just you?” Cornwell requested.

The two Federation officers left the briefing and Cornwell sighed, “Really? I requested to speak with Captain Pike, not two shell-shocked survivors who are barely out of the Academy.”

Mikkos arched an eyebrow and asked, “Why are you assuming that your Captain Pike wasn’t equally traumatized by his treatment by the Breen? Or perhaps even more so? I understand trust can only be earned, but I think we’ve earned some level of trust from you. Vaya’s actions certainly proved that the Federation does not understand our people as the Federation declare him a psychopath. Giving up his life for ungrateful strangers is not psychopathic, it reeks of rampant stupidity. Yet the Federation stubbornly continues down the same path, with nary a thought to possibly reexamining the map, so convinced are you of your moral and intellectual superiority.”

That gave her a moment’s pause, as she remembered Christopher Pike after Talos IV. A quick glance at the Discovery crew showed their unease at the thought that Pike was in worse shape than the jittery Lt. Singh.

“As I have explained, and will now once again repeat for those of us who are hard of hearing, Captain Pike and Ensign Tilly are both currently recovering. They are both under Healer Galen’s care as he is one most familiar with Breen-induced trauma. When in Healer Galen’s medical opinion, he feels that Captain Pike has recovered enough to speak with you, he will permit it. Until then, permission will not be granted, Admiral. Ambassador Mikkos out.”

The communication ended, and then Cornwell exhaled. “How fast can we get there, and no, we cannot use the spore drive, Commander Saru.”

Saru splayed his hands to show his internal displeasure but Cornwell wasn’t having any backtalk, spoken or otherwise.  “We do not wish to start a war, Commander. Not with an empire, that on the surface, has done nothing but protect and shelter our people at great expense to themselves. If, for any reason, I deem that they have adversely affected our personnel there, then yes, we can Spore and grab. You have my word on that, Commander.”

* * *

 

Ambassador Mikkos found Galen. “We need Pike up and functioning as their Admiral is quite insistent on talking with him. When can that happen?”

“I can wake him now,” Galen offered. “Though he appeared to be in the midst of some sort of existential crisis earlier.”

“Knowing the Federation, they will blame us,” Mikkos guessed. He slowly exhaled and then admitted, “Someone needs to sit with him when he talks to the Federation. Perhaps the little blue doctor?”

Galen shook his head, “No. The crisis has to do with the Janus and the personnel. I’ll have to sit in.”

“If Vaya didn’t die on the Janus, I will kill him,” Mikkos admitted to Galen. 

“Bryce will not permit it as that means he’s stuck in position,” Galen quipped.

* * *

 

Chris was roused from a rather restless sleep where his dreams were haunted by him loudly announcing to everyone and anyone that he had required massive amounts of drugs to have sex with Sylvia Tilly.  If anything, he felt more exhausted rather than less, so he tried to concentrate on the conversation he was having with Galen.

“I didn’t remove all the sigils, Captain.  I didn’t want to scar you, so here’s what you look like,” Galen offered before he presented Pike with a mirror.

He had gotten greyer. Hell, he had developed a **_white_** streak and he needed a haircut. His face was a mixture of sigils, sunburned appearing patches of skin and faded tattoos. But his eyes, his eyes were full of self-loathing and far too many emotions to name.

Fuck, he looked **_old_** and felt worse.

“She’s insistent on speaking to you. Can you manage this?” Galen asked. “I’d wish I could have permitted you more rest, but Mikkos fears that she believes that we have adversely harmed you. We have not earned any trust from the Federation, even at the cost of Vaya’s life.”

Pike slowly nodded.

“You have a choice of a Federation Commander’s uniform or we can provide something?” Galen asked.

“Commander uniform. Tilly said… it would give me… more… credibility… with the Federation. I need as much as I can right now. I have to protect her, Galen.”

* * *

 

“We’re being hailed by the Tolerians,” Lt (jg) Rhys announced. “It’s Captain Pike.”

Cornwell smiled at the excited murmurs from the Discovery crew. She nodded her head and announced, “On screen.”

The person who appeared on the view screen might have been Christopher Pike at one time. The greying hair was longer than his norm, and unlike his usual contained hair style, his hair was distinctively misbehaving. His face was a patchwork quilt of livid tattoos, faded tattoos and unmarked though bright red skin. His shoulders were slumped and he appeared as though he had the weight of the universe on his shoulders.

There were assorted gasps of surprise regarding his appearance from several Discovery crew members.

There also was a new Tolerian sitting next to Pike. He was dressed in a dark grey uniform and he motioned for Chris to speak.

“Hello Admiral, I understand from very reliable sources that I look as though I’ve been dragged through the various circles of Hell,” Christopher Pike attempted to quip. A quick, forced smile faded from his face. “Admiral, let me first assure you that the Tolerians have given the crew of the Janus every courtesy though they have experienced tremendous losses due to the Breen. I greatly appreciate the quality of care that Healer Galen and staff has given us. He promises to pretty me up before we reach Federation space.”

“There will be a firing squad waiting for us when we enter Federation space at this rate,” hissed the off-screen Ambassador Mikkos. “They think we’re forcing him to say that.”

“Captain, you’re wearing a Commander uniform?”  Admiral Cornwell’s tone couldn’t hide her concern. **_Chris, you look like hell._**

“It’s Commander Liam Emerson’s uniform from the USS Janus.  He never wore it. It’s the closest to my size as Captain Tanaka was… she … she wasn’t … anywhere … near my size. There were a great many uniforms to choose from, but Emerson was closest in size and rank.”

Pike closed his eyes and paused for a moment before he spoke, as though drawing strength, “At this time, I wish to verbally commend the following personnel of the USS Janus. Nirav Singh, who I have field promoted to Lieutenant Junior Grade, and I hope that the rank will be made permanent upon review. I also commend Ensign Ylsa T’sShai , Dr. Nessa and Ensign Mai T’seng. I also wish to posthumously commend Ensign Lawrence Devins and Commander Rafael DelRosso… who died in defense of the USS Janus’ crew. Their actions on the USS Janus exemplify the moral code and conduct of… Star Fleet. Without… without… their bravery and perseverance, the crew of the USS Janus would be dead. Admiral, please ensure that my verbal commendations make it to their files.”

“Absolutely,” Cornwell agreed. “I’ll personally ensure that those commendations are put into their records.”

Pike touched his face and winced.

“Don’t touch that, please. Your skin is regenerating and it’s very itchy. I’ll give you an additional analgesic after you’ve finish talking with the admiral. Please don’t scratch as it will scar,” was the soft request of the Tolerian.

“I also recommend that Commander DelRosso be posthumously promoted to the position of Captain, due to the events on the Janus. After Emerson was decapitated by the Breen, he was the acting Captain of the Janus. He deserves the rank, Admiral. More importantly, he earned it. He kept the crew alive and functioning.”

“I will submit that request,” Cornwell promised. “We will need supporting documentation from you, Captain Pike.”

Long pause. Chris spoke again, and his voice cracked several times.

“I also wish to commend Ensign Sylvia Tilly of the USS Discovery during recent events. Though Ensign Tilly was drugged and indoctrinated by the Breen into thinking she was not a Star Fleet officer, at no time were any of her actions a knowing violation of any Star Fleet regulations and guidelines. At all times, she adhered to and exceeded the Star Fleet standards and I want **_that_** documented in her files. I need a private conversation with you, Admiral, so I can discuss what occurred on the Janus.”

“Put him in the ready room,” Katrina ordered. She relinquished the chair to Saru and made her way to the ready room at a brisk pace.  When she entered the room, she encrypted their conversation with the strongest algorithm the Federation possessed.

Her inner voice warned her that the Discovery team might try to break the encryption lock, just because they cared too much for their temporary captain.  She’d have to make it quick then.

* * *

 

“Was that **_really_**   Captain Pike?” Stamets questioned. He flushed scarlet when he realized that everyone heard him and the whispered, alarmed agreements did not make him feel the slightest bit better. In a fake attempt at joviality, he added, “His hair was a mess.”

“Yes, it was,” Commander Saru confirmed. “I am certain that he protected Ensign Tilly at great cost to himself, because that is the type of Captain he is. He insisted on rescuing Burnham from the asteroid, I do not anticipate that he would do any less for Ensign Tilly.”

Burnham glanced at Stamets, who appeared as uncertain as she felt.

“I’m really worried about Tilly,” he admitted. “She’s just so… Tilly. I hope they didn’t break her.”

“Captain Pike was there. He kept her safe, I know. He protected her and he **_will_** protect her because he’s not … like our other Captain.”

Even now, she couldn’t voice Lorca’s name.

* * *

 

“Chris, what happened?” Kat softly questioned.

“I need to speak with Robert April as soon as possible.  Completely confidential, can you do that?” Pike requested. “It’s regarding the Tolerian application to the Federation.”

“Consider it done, what the hell happened?” Kat couldn’t hide her concern.

“The Breen captured us, and… they fucked with my mind, Kat. Like Talos, but worse, because it wasn’t just illusion. There were drugs and …” Pike stopped to compose himself as his voice shook. “They convinced me that I was a Tolerian War Lord. There needs to be a full Board of Inquiry called and I need to be remanded into custody once I’m in Federation territory.”

Chris was close to coming complete undone, and she noticed that the Healer was preparing a hypospray.

“Chris, you know as well as I do, we don’t have to remand you into custody for an Inquiry hearing regarding the loss of the Janus.” God, she had slipped into her soothing counselor tone, which radiated, **_I’m here for you. Tell me everything that happened and I will not judge you._**

If anything, Chris grew more stressed, rather than less, as he struggled to explain, “It’s not just that. I need to remanded during the investigation of charges involving the deaths of crew under my command…and … a nonconsensual sexual relationship with a junior officer...”

“What?”  Cornwell stated. Actually, she added a few non-Federation approved curse words.

“I’m responsible for Devins and DelRosso and the others that died on the Janus. Their deaths need to be reviewed. As for Ensign Tilly….”

Pike paused and looked away from the viewscreen.

“Kat, please protect her. I am begging you to protect her,” Pike softly requested. “I won’t be able to live with myself if… this gets out. I don’t care about my reputation; it’s not that. I’m just worried for her. They made me think we were married... and.. the relationship felt so real... but it wasn’t but it felt so fucking real. She didn’t consent to the sex because she was drugged and unable to consent, Kat.”

“Just the once?” Kat softly questioned

Christopher Pike shook his head, “No. I fucked her at least once a day, more likely twice a day. Sometimes, as often as… four or five times a day.”

Kat really didn’t know to how to answer that in a helpful manner, even while her analytical mind tallied the math, repeated it as it couldn’t believe that number, not at Chris’ age, and then repeated still another time.

Shit, that tally meant it was at least a Level seven offense.

“At least, Phil gave me my shot,” Pike admitted with a soft laugh. “That’s the one positive to all this, because if I hadn’t gotten my shot, I most assuredly would have gotten her pregnant.”

He laughed but his body shook.

“We had talked about having kids, Kat.  A whole horde of red-headed girls. Oh, thank God, Phil gave me the shot.  Thank God….” He whispered that over and over again even while his body trembled. "I wouldn't know what to do if I got her pregnant, Kat."

Galen hit Christopher Pike with the hypospray even as Mikkos declared the conversation over.


	23. Chapter 23

Sylvia Tilly woke and stretched. She felt remarkably clear headed and rested. Most importantly her tummy was behaving so that was a definite WIN.  There was a soft knock on her door and she saw it was Galen. There was also a little blue tail that was waving a very intent hello behind Galen. The Tolerian noticed it, sighed and then pointed the owner of said tail in a direction away from the door.

“Come in,” Tilly stated.

Galen opened the door, and Nessa quickly dashed into Tilly’s room. The Tolerian easily picked her up with both hands and removed her gently.

“No! Bad Nessa! Bad!” he stated. “Is this how you ran your Medical Bay on the Janus? And don’t even try to phase out and sneak your way in. I’ve got heat sensors set up so I’ll know if you skip over the threshold.”

“I **_have_** to tell her that Singh and Ylsa got handfasted!” Nessa insisted excitedly. “They finally did it! Singh’s finally an honest man now! Tilly! Ylsa **_tagged_** and **_bagged_** him!”

“Wait, wait, get her in here, Galen,” Tilly insisted.

Nessa attempted to stroll calmly into Tilly’s room, magnanimous in her victory, but her little blue tail was all ‘Na, Na, Na, are you gonna stop me now, you big silvery guy?’ To her annoyance, the Tolerian blocked her with a stern, “Treatment first, then visitors.”

He closed the door on her and then as Nessa had her face pressed against the glass door, he hit the privacy shades. As the shades lowered, Nessa expressed her unhappiness in very explicit terms.

“That last comment was **_quite_** rude, so I understand why she and Vaya were chummy,” Galen’s tone was quite mild but his eyes danced. “She will be required to wipe her nose prints smudges off the glass.”

Tilly giggled, and Galen smiled.

“She’s tried to sneak into your medical records,” he informed a concerned Tilly as he took a seat next to her bed.  He waved a scanner over her and smiled at the results. “Do not fear; I took the liberty of safeguarding your secret, so I permitted it. It’s not on your records, because I am anticipating that I will need to turn them over to the Federation. Singh got handfasted? To whom? I’ll have to let my senior husbands know, as handfastings are good luck. We’ll have to arrange a private room.”

He tilted his head and then said, “Wait… Ylsa, the Deltan. She’s small, petite, shaves her head? We have been keeping the unmarried personnel away from her as she’s… ** _enticing_**. Fortunately, when in a line marriage as large as mine, someone is always willing for fun times, as she is broadcasting very loudly. We understand that it’s not something that she can control at times of high stress. I wish her husband strength, fortitude and a great deal of stamina. Maybe I should send him vitamins, too.”

Tilly giggled.  

“You speak Standard extremely well,” Tilly pointed out. “Plus, you’re really rather observant.”

“It’s easier to pretend that I’m just the pretty one in the Senior line of this marriage. Being ranked with Kandra, Vaya, Bryce and Mikkos fosters expectations.  Tye and I were the foundation, they’re the stars.”  

“Is Kandra the Archon?” Tilly questioned.

He nodded.

“I thought…” she paused as her eyes filled with happy tears. “Am I family?”

“You’re family. Vaya called you his little sister therefore you are my little sister, which is why I will keep your secrets.  As your brother, it pains me to admit that perhaps it is best that you keep this close to your heart for a little while longer. Your lover…”

“He’s my commanding officer, Galen,” Tilly interrupted. “Whatever it was between was all Breen fabricated to keep him… docile and submissive.”

**_And now, it’s completely one sided, as I’d gladly take him back even if he does need drugs to fuck me.  It just proves that there’s something seriously wrong with me.  It was nice, for once, how everyone was jealous of Sylvia Tilly because she was fucking Captain Dimples._ **

**_Sylvia Tilly, really, if you had only listened to me when you were younger, you wouldn’t be reduced to drugging a man to have a boyfriend…_** **_stated a very familiar mental voice._**

 ** _QUICK! It’s MAMA TILLY! ATTACK!_**   **_Screeched Killy_** _._ **_PUT HER BACK IN THE SECURED ZONE EVERYONE. THE BITCH HAS ESCAPED!_**

**_The mental Siobhan Tilly was quickly overwhelmed and hurled back into Sylvia’s Psyche Storeroom where Mama Tilly landed on one Christopher Pike, in his dress uniform no less._ **

**_“Hi, I’m Chris,” he stated. He held out his hand and dimpled, “You must be her mother.”_ **

**_“No wonder drugs were required,” Siobhan announced after looking up and down at the snack of a captain. “You could have anyone, but you got… Sylvia.”_ **

**_Her voice dripped in disgust._ **

**_“A great many drugs were required, plus mental indoctrination,” he confessed.  Complete with dimple._ **

**_The dimple which, yes, made his cavalier confession hurt a thousand times more._ **

**_One Tilly stopped short and protested, “You said you’d defend me from her. That you would tell her that I was special and that she was wrong about me.  I… believed… you…”_ **

**_“Which one is she? Clueless Tilly?” whispered VaVaVaVoom Tilly.  “Helloooo…. Someone needs a clue. Chris never cared about you. It was the fucking drugs and the tits.”_ **

**_“Seriously, it was the drugs. You were a lousy fuck, honey,” her mental Chris told her. “Trust me, I’ve had better. A lot better. Girls who didn’t hide beneath the blankets and insist on the lights being off. I didn’t expect much from you, but hell, you couldn’t even reach that low bar. And as for your tits, I’ve seen a lot better. Have you seen my XO on the Enterprise? Hello! There is a reason why she’s Number One!”_ **

**_Clueless Tilly was actually Enraged Tilly as she shrieked and attacked. She landed a picture-perfect punch on Captain Dimples’ picture-perfect face. He fell backwards and she hit him over and over again. It was satisfying to hit him, her physical expression of her anger at the entire fucking universe._ **

**_“I trusted you,” she shrieked. “You told me that you loved me. You’re just like my father. He fucking lied like you did. He left like you did. When I needed help the most, you both left.”_ **

**_“Think we should disengage her?” a Tilly asked Captain Killy as she appeared to be the Inner Tilly in control these days._ **

**_“No, let her hurt Pretty Boy as badly as he hurt us,” Killy stated. “And Mama Tilly and Pike can never know about Blobbie because they don’t deserve her.”_ **

**_“I’m tired of constantly being told that I am not being good enough,” Tilly announced after she hit Pike one last time. “I will be the best mother possible and to do that I will keep both you away from her. I swear, I will never leave her, I will never let her believe for one moment that her best isn’t good enough. And I will love her enough for the both of us, so she’ll never ever miss you, Chris. She won’t even notice that you’re not around, Mama.”_ **

**_The inner Tillys all stomped, applauded and cheered at this display of defiance even while Captain Killy pointed at Mama Tilly and Christopher Pike with a Mark 3 phaser that was set to Killy err Kill._ **

**_“Back of the closet, bitches. Right next to dear old Daddy,” she hissed.  She slammed the door shut and securely locked it.  “How the hell did she escape? Did someone actually think of going to MUM for assistance? I know we’re all scared, even me, hard as it may seem to believe, but there’s other people who we can reach out for assistance.”_ **

**_“Who?” asked the Tillys. “Michael will try to convince me to tell him.  She’ll also insist that it is illogical to keep her.”_ **

**_“Galen,” Tilly decided._ **

**_“Why should we trust him? We barely know him!”_ **

**_“Who else can we trust? Nessa and Ylsa will tell Pike.”_ **

“Galen to Tilly, are you there?” he asked.  He repeated himself again, slightly louder.

She sniffled. “Sorry, I zoned out there.”

“I noticed. Pike’s very concerned about you,” Galen quietly confessed. “What occurred weighs very heavily on him so I am unsure of how he would react to your news. He wishes to somehow make recent events right for you.”

Tilly snorted, “Well, I’m the one with the incipient weight gain. Think he could put on twenty… thirty pounds for me.  You know what, tell him to put on fifty and it’ll be even-steven. He’d look **_adorable_** chubby. What you’re telling me is, he’ll keep harassing me, trying to fix this mess until I convince him that I’m… fine.”

Galen nodded.

“But… I’m not fine.” She wiped her eyes. “I’m not fine at all. Can you tell me how’s he doing?”

**_Stop caring, Tilly. You need to harden your heart and just accept that it’s over. Keep your pride at least._ **

“I can’t. I only told you this much because he publicly requested that the admiral put a commendation in your file. That while you had drugged by the Breen, at no time were any of your actions a knowing violation of any Star Fleet regulations and guidelines. He also told the admiral that you adhered to and exceeded the Star Fleet standards at all times during your time on the Janus. He wanted that documented in your files, so it obvious to me he’s trying to protect you.”

Tilly permitted herself one solitary tear, because that gesture was so Chris… **_Captain Pike_**.

She nodded her head, and then she asked, “Will he be OK?”

“I don’t have the gift of foresight, but I can tell you two things.  We have to let the little blue sprite in else I will live out the remainder my life fearful that she will strangle me with her tail.  Most importantly, you and Pike need to come sort of understanding on how to handle the ramifications of what occurred between you two. Including the baby. He needs to know, but when and how that decision is yours.”

Tilly sat in silence for a bit before she nodded her head.

“Now, shall we let the little blue doctor in?” Galen requested.

“Yes,” Tilly decided.

Galen opened the door and Nessa immediately stormed the gates, stepped on Galen’s foot, **_deliberately_** , and then hugged Tilly.

“Don’t forget you need to clean off your nose prints off the door,” Galen instructed before he left.

“Yeah, sure,” she agreed easily, having no intention of doing so. That glib assurance given, she jumped on the bed next to Tilly.  “So… Singh and Ylsa got handfasted on the way here.  They commandeered Captain Pike and they were like, ‘Captain, we **_have_** to get married here and now’. He did the ceremony in the shuttlecraft, so you need to do whatever you have to do to convince the Captain to have a redo. Maybe when we get back home in Federation territory? He can wear his dress uniform, and so can Singh. Ylsa will dressed like a Deltan bride and… the only way it could possibly be better if DelRosso was the one doing the ceremony, because they went to him for advice and permission when they ‘connected’. Rafe was such a romantic or else he thought Singh’s time was short because he told them to grab life with both hands.”

Nessa sighed and her tail went down.

“I really miss Rafe,” she admitted. “Plus, I’m terrified about the Board of Inquiry. There has to be one, after everything, and I am just **_scared_**. There’s so much I did on the Janus to keep the crew alive; I don’t know what the Board will think.”

“There will be one, won’t there?” Tilly whispered.  That meant, everyone would know. She’d be the laughing stock of the Federation.

“Yes,” Nessa agreed.

Tilly swung her feet over the bed, and then stood. “I need to speak with Captain Pike about it. Where is he?”

“He’s in Bay 5. He’s sleeping,” Nessa confessed.   “You need to sleep.”

As Tilly made her way to Bay 5, Nessa attempted to follow her but she was stopped by Galen.  He handed her a rag and a spray.  “Did someone forget to clean the door?”

“I wanted to stop her from leaving her room as she needed her rest,” Nessa explained. “Has anyone told you that you have such lovely blue eyes? So rare among the Tolerians as they usually have such dark colored eyes.”

“Numerous times,” he dryly retorted.

“Yes, but were they experts on the color blue like me?” Nessa questioned as she twirled her tail rather flirtatiously at the Healer. “I think not.”

He pointed one very elegant finger and stated, “ ** _Door_**.”

* * *

 

Tilly snuck into Chris’ room. He slept, so she sat next to him for a moment, just content to watch, to memorize his features. The ugly red patches had faded and most of the Tolerians sigils had been removed   She was tempted, so badly tempted, to stroke his hair once last time, but she knew that would be a mistake.

**_So… Willa… no… Wilhelmina, this is your Papa.  He loved his Mom so much that I want to give you her name.  I’ll have to play with your name for a bit, but… for now, you’re Willa._ **

Chris woke then, and his eyes were glassy.

“Tilly?” he mumbled.

“Captain?” she whispered. “Go back to sleep, please.”

“He drugged me,” he mumbled. “Is there something about me that makes perfect strangers decide to drug me?”

“There could be,” she agreed easily which caused Chris to moan a futile protest against the universe as a whole and the medical profession in general. “Nessa’s scared about the Board of Inquiry.”

Chris sat up then and she pulled away from him.

“I’ll protect Nessa and I’m doing everything I can for you,” he stated. “You did nothing wrong. I spoke to Admiral Cornwell already and you’re getting professional help.”

“You did what?” Tilly asked. “You told… **_Cornwell_**?”

“Kat and I go way back. I needed someone I could trust to help you,” he explained.

“You didn’t even think to ask me? You didn’t think maybe… we could have not mentioned it?  Just pretended that it never happened and kept it between us?” Tilly asked.

“Tilly, you need help. What happened between us was non-consensual, and I want to make sure that I do everything that I can do to make sure you recover from what happened.  I will pull in every favor owed to ensure you get whatever help you need.”

“I wish you had asked me,” Tilly quietly stated. “Because… the more you ask your old friends to help you out of this mess…”

“I don’t care about me; I’m **_worried_** about you,” Pike insisted.

“The more people who you get involved, the more people will know,” protested Tilly. “I was willing to keep what happened quiet. So only you and I would know. We could always have claimed the Janus crew were mistaken as they weren’t in our quarters. Instead, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. You told the admiral. Who else did you tell? Who did she tell? Isn’t this mess big enough without you informing everyone that you had drugged sex with me? There is no way that this could possibly be worse.”

Tilly paused before she spoke, “Oh, I know how it could be worse. You could put a big announcement on the StarFleet newscast how Captain Christopher Pike fucked his ensign, because he was really, really drugged.”

She turned herself away from him, as she refused to weep in front of him.

“Be angry, Tilly. Be furious, by all means.”

“I don’t need your permission to tell me how I should feel,” she protested. Then just to show that she knew her status in the universe, she added a curt, “Captain.”

“Tilly…It could have been worse. What if I had gotten you pregnant? I wouldn’t know what to do if that had happened,” Pike softly admitted. “Thank God, Phil gave me the shot before I left the Enterprise.”

“Don’t worry. Galen confirmed everything and said that I’m good for the next eight or nine months. There’s no possible way I could get pregnant. After that, I have to get the shot again,” she said.

It wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t. Chris… no the Captain, would put his own slant on it. She couldn’t get pregnant, because she already was. Plus, she was never ever having sex again in the next year, let alone, in her lifetime.

“When we get back to Federation territory, I want a transfer off the Discovery,” Tilly stated.

“Your friends are on the Discovery; do you want to lose that support structure?” Pike seemed truly concerned about her.

“I feel that it would be in my best interest if I transferred off the Discovery. I would prefer never to see you again,” she lied.

“You don’t have to leave the Discovery,” Pike protested. “Once we’re back in Federation space, I’ll be remanded to the Brig. There will be charges filed against me, of which I am guilty, and I highly doubt that I will ever step foot on another starship again.”

Tilly placed her hands on her face, and struggled not to scream out her frustration.

“Because you have this obscene need to FIX me, like I’m broken; you’re throwing away your career?” Tilly spat. “You know, in this fake relationship of ours, the only good part of it was the fact that Fake Chris didn’t try to fix me. He didn’t think I had problems. He didn’t think that he could turn me into a better person.  He was happy with me, and he didn’t harp about my weight, my hair, or anything. I’m so stupid, I should have realized then that it was a fake relationship, _fake_ , **_fake_** , **_fake_**. No, I was just pathetically grateful that for first time, someone wasn’t trying to fix me. That’s the only reason why I put up with the crappy sex.”

And SCORE, as Pike swallowed. He literally blanched.

It was so fucking satisfying and **_so below the belt_** , as it were.

“Seriously, I didn’t realize that a man of your age would be so… clueless about a woman’s body. Do you know how many orgasms I faked? ** _All of them, every single time_**.” Yes, she stated that in a very happy, clappy voice.

He flinched again.

**_Tilly – 2, Pike – 9,434 but I’m GAINING!_ **

“You f-f-faked them? All of them?” Pike nervously questioned. “I… asked… you… if you… were enjoying yourself… and…  You…were… my… sanity… during my time on the Janus… and I wanted … our sex to be really good for you… it… **_wasn’t_**?”

“Perhaps, next time, when you’re on Risa, Captain, you can get some professional help,” she chirped.

Truthfully, the last two months had been the best sex of her life. Repeatedly.  But her partner had been the Fake Chris, who had been sweet and affectionate… who told her that she was amazing and brilliant… and… he wanted to her to meet his parents because they were making everything official… and they had talked about babies… lots of babies… and he had worshipped her curves.

He wasn’t Captain Pike, who had decided that Ensign Tilly was intrinsically flawed, that she was deficient and that she needed professional help and… that she was so unappealing that he had required major amounts of drugs to fuck… who thought the baby she was carrying was the absolute worst thing that could ever happen.

But she wanted to hurt Christopher Pike, to know that something he had taken pride and delight in, wasn’t good enough, and needed to be fixed… because it just wasn’t good enough.

Something personal, so he’d know how it felt to be summed up and judged as substandard.

 ** _Enough, dear. You’re turning into Siobhan_** , whispered an Inner Tilly. **_I know that you want to hurt him, and you have. Deeply. Just… stop… as you are scaring everyone.  Including Willa, she’s just terrified right now.  _**

**_I didn’t mean to scare her._ **

**_Willa, Momma loves her baby girl, don’t be scared. Please? You’re beautiful and you’re perfect because you take after your father. When you grow up, people will wonder how I was your mother, because you’ll be flawless. Everyone will love you, even Chris._ **

**_Momma loves you. Please forgive me? Please?_ **

God, she was confused. Her life had spun out of control and… she just wanted someone to hold her and **_lie to her_** that everything would work out.  Extra points would be granted for sincerity.

The Board of Inquiry? There was no way she could hide Willa then, as they’d want to do “The Exam” for possible sexual assault… and… he’d know… and he would tell her why Willa was such a very bad thing…  and Michael would agree that there was only one logical choice… but Paul… Paul would understand… why she wanted part of Chris for herself…

“Go ahead and cry,” was his soft request. Chris… no… Captain Pike held onto her like she was worthwhile yet acknowledged her fragility and… he held her together so gently even while the cracks spread in her soul. “I know you hate me. You are **_not_** worthless, Tilly. You are **_amazing_**. You are **_brilliant_**. You are a **_light_** in the **_darkness_** , and you’re hurting because of me.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over again until she felt the hypospray against her neck.  She was exhausted so her body reacted quickly to the sedative.  Her body shifted as Captain Pike carried her back to her room.

“Why did it hit her that fast?” Pike questioned after he placed her carefully in her bed.

He covered her with a blanket and then brushed her face with his hand. Quickly. Fleetingly.

“I gave an extremely mild sedative and I didn’t anticipate that it would affect her as quickly as it did,” Galen explained. “She’s exhausted.”

“I will never forgive myself if I broke her,” Pike murmured.

“It’s not you that broke her. It was the Breen,” was the healer’s terse retort.  Galen exhaled loudly, as he was having just about enough today.  Between little blue aliens and Pike and Tilly, he rather looked forward to the end of his shift.

Alas, it was not to be.

“What now, Mikkos?” Galen asked.

“We’re about to arrive at the last coordinates of the Janus. Prime wishes Captain Pike or some senior crew members from the Janus on the away team. There needs to be some lawfulness with us being on board the ship as the Federation’s arrival is estimated several hours after we arrive. And Galen?” Mikkos paused.

“Yes?” Galen asked.

“You’ll need to get suited up,” Mikkos ignored Galen’s obvious displeasure as he continued. “When Vaya did his walkabout, he took eighteen of our best salvage engines with him, plus some other things.  He also stole one of the prototype hibernation suits. We do a great deal of space walks to repair our ships, Captain Pike.  When someone gets disconnected from the ship, this particular suit would place the individual in hibernation automatically so we would have additional time in which to rescue them. It is literally bleeding edge technology for us, so The Prime was livid that Vaya took that suit.”

“Are you getting vital signs from the Janus?” Pike asked.

“No, but we just picked up a message from Vaya. It’s dated the day after Pike abandoned ship, ‘The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone’.”

That’s George Eilot, Pike realized but his mind focused on the bigger picture.

“He might be still alive?” Pike asked. “And he might have seen an angel.”


	24. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which May and the Red Angel make appearances.

“Irrational, explosive anger is a known side effect of withdrawal from the drugs the Breen gave you,” Galen offered that consolation warily to Christopher Pike while they stood in the debarkation zone. They had somehow managed to stuff Pike into a Tolerian space suit and helmet because the Janus lacked an atmosphere in various locations. He almost pitied Nessa as they had found a child-sized suit for her and had squeezed her and her little blue tail into it. But not quite, as his feet hurt because the Tolerians had three toes and he had five. Thank God, they had found five finger gloves for the humans.  “I should have warned you, but I had hoped that the weaning process would go a little more smoothly. I don’t usually have to take humans off those drugs, so I underestimated the titration rate. Please accept my apologies for her outburst.”

“You heard?” Chris asked. He kept his voice level, but inwardly, he was still stunned by Tilly’s anger. Some of his previous relationships had ended badly, but never quite this bad.

 ** _Seriously, did you see the look in her eyes when she realized that she been fucking her captain? Her more than twice her age, grey-haired, bad back captain? How else did you think she’d react, Chris?_**    ** _That she’d thank you for the sexual experience of being groped by an old man who admitted that he needed drugs to get it up and give her a goodbye kiss_**? His Inner Boyce snarked.

“No, I felt it.” Galen placed his hands on his temples and grimaced. “It reminded me of an uncontrollable spin in one of the transports I once endured. It happened once, and that was enough.”

“There was a lot of truth in what she said,” Chris admitted with a wince.

The Healer shook his head, and explained, “From first-hand experience, when one is raging during the weaning process, there’s just enough truth in the rage to cause excruciating emotional pain to their victims. You know first-hand what those drugs can do to a person.”

Chris looked away and admitted, “I know.”

**_I nearly killed two crew members when I was on them. I know all too well what those drugs can do._ **

The Healer then rubbed his temples again and exhaled loudly. “One moment.”

Galen walked over to three Tolerians who were already suited up and helmeted. He tapped one of them on the shoulder and stated, “ ** _NO._** Go back to your mother; you are not setting foot on that ship. I will not permit it. **_Prime_**?”

The Tolerian Prime had just entered the staging area, and he had several other Tolerians in tow. He limped over to Galen even as his composure darkened.

“Did you approve of this?” Galen questioned.  “She’s coming?”

Bryce growled, “No.  You three are remanded to quarters. Helmets off.”

Underneath the helmets there was a silvery haired teenage girl and two dark haired boys who were probably slightly older than the girl.  The two boys looked scared but not so the girl.

“Sir, on a mission of this severity, you should have at least five Talents on the team. By permitting me to assist, you have two,” she explained.

“A half-trained Talent is no good to me, especially one that is prone to disobeying orders. Quarters. Remanded. Two Cycles,” Bryce stated.  “Three Cycles... Four Cycles...”

The miscreants hit the door at a fast pace and the Prime then began speaking rapidly in Tolerian.  It was the picture-perfect example of not needing a common language, as the dressing down of junior officers was a universal work of art.  That done, the victim bled profusely from a multitude of verbal wounds, the Prime returned to Standard out of courtesy to the various Federation personnel in the area.

“Brother, I refused your daughter’s offer of assistance multiple times,” the Prime quietly stated. “I do not want her on that damned ship.”

Galen nodded once.  The Prime then motioned to Pike to come closer. “Let me introduce you to the other captains onboard. Inari, Tinjen, Ilas and Eben this is Captain Pike of the USS Enterprise, Discovery and Janus.”

There were head bobs in acknowledgement and a rather archaic knuckle to the head formal greeting from Inari.  He responded in kind which earned him an appraising look from the Tolerian captain.

“He has manners,” she murmured which earned a snort of laughter from the other captains.  In mild protest, she added, “I think that’s very remarkable considering he oversees **_three_** ships. There are some who have difficulties following social norms when they have **_one_** ship.”

That quip earned a round of laughter from the Tolerians, with several names bantered about.

“We are bringing their crews in to assist in the removal of the Janus personnel,” Bryce explained.  
“The ship’s orbit is disintegrating rapidly and if we wish to honor Raphael’s request, we will need to offload them as efficiently as possible. My understanding is that there were eighty-nine crew members on board, plus three additions to the crew. With only thirty-two members of the crew remaining, we should have a tally of... fifty-nine Federation to remove.”

“There’s only forty-seven bodies on the ship,” Nessa interrupted softly.

“What happened to the other twelve?” Bryce questioned.

“Chief Engineer Zhivanevskaya and her team of engineers sabotaged the warp engines and anything else they could. The Breen discovered their efforts.”  Nessa’s lips began trembling uncontrollably. “They... they...  they made me .... watch... but…. I made sure… they had passed… before they were spaced. The Breen never knew...  but Rafe and I made sure… we couldn’t save them… but we saved them from… that…”

Nessa couldn’t continue, and Pike realized that the blue doctor had been hiding her trauma perhaps too well under a veneer of cheeky blueness.

**_Sweet mother of God, they spaced them._ **

**_Make time for her, Chris. You need to make time for her.  You need to make time for Singh and Ylsa. You need to write up recommendations for the survivors; what captains you know will take them on as a personal project. You can’t do a DelRosso again, and get so wrapped up with your inward navel gazing that you miss the fact that someone needs help and you just ignore it._ **

**_Tilly needs help. She won’t take it from you, but twist every arm that needs to be twisted. Fight every battle that needs to be fought for them._ **

**_Do it for them._ **

**_Do it for HER._ **

“We know what the Breen do to saboteurs,” Bryce murmured. He reached for her hand and squeezed it.   “Mother Space, accept the souls of your children in a final embrace. Embrace them, so they know that they no longer walk alone. Welcome them, for they are home. Assure them, their songs will be sung and remembered.”

The assorted Tolerian captains repeated the prayer.

“There are... seven... in the... Sick Bay morgue with the rest in the cargo hold,” Nessa explained. “I tried... to keep... everyone...identified... so ...”

She bowed her head and then shook her head.

“Clan t’Kandranos will bring our brothers’ bodies in so we can add them to the garden. The remainder will be brought to cargo hold seven. Nessa, you do not have to come with us,” Bryce stated quietly. His voice was quite soft when he made that offer. “Your bravery is legendary, Nessa. You do not need to prove anything.”

She straightened herself up and then shook her head, “I’m the senior surviving officer of the Janus massacre, I have to be there to make sure everyone gets off that damn ship. I have my PADD and... and...I have everyone... listed...with ... location... and I will check... them... all... off.”

The little blue doctor nodded her head brusquely and everyone refused to acknowledge her blue tears.

“Captain Pike, we’ll be utilizing drones to search the ship for Vaya. I can assure you that we won’t be stealing Fed tech,” the Prime assured Pike.

“The tech didn’t do the Janus crew much good,” admitted Pike.

“I’m also having several drones stationed around the engines. It appears that the timers just stopped, so that’s why they didn’t blow. I’m also detecting an abnormal number of tachyon particles in the ship. Please tell me that your people aren’t playing with time? That ship isn’t set up for cloaking as the nacelles...”

That comment caused Pike to arch one eyebrow ala Spock, and the Prime sputtered to a stop before he explained, “My background is munitions, but Vaya was an engineer first. I’ve picked up a few things over the years.”

Pike continued to say nothing, because he was inwardly debating how much Federation Technology the various Tolerians had managed to absorb.  

The hell with it, he had enough problems in his life. He couldn’t handle any additional ones even as the universe seemed determined to pile more on his shoulders.  

Let Kat handle it.

“Very well, everyone, time to suit up!”

* * *

 

When Sylvia Tilly awoke, her helpful subconscious immediately reminded her of her extremely bad behavior. In full surround sound, especially the unbelievably caustic comment that she had hurled at Chris... not Captain Pike... no, it had been directed at Chris. The remark had been designed to hurt him and she couldn’t believe that she had said that.

**_TO HIM._ **

He had **_winced_** and... he hadn’t told her she was a crazy bitch and that she needed to remember who the hell she had just insulted.

No, instead... he had held her and tried to console her.

_“Go ahead and cry. I know you hate me. You are not worthless, Tilly. You are amazing. You are brilliant. You are a light in the darkness, and you’re hurting because of me.”_

She needed to apologize.

Immediately. Sincerely. Completely.

Her inner Tillys wholeheartedly agreed, but there was a new person in her head. A short, dark haired woman who wore a Federation ensign uniform.

She whispered ** _;_ _He doesn’t care about you. He deceived you. Don’t trust him, because he’s embarrassed. He wants nothing more than for this to go away. For you to go away._**

**_Who are you?_ **

**_I’m May, Stilly. Don’t you remember me? May Ahearn? We went to school together and we were best friends.  We told each other everything including your crush on Marty._ **

Marty had been an upper-class man who had never even known she existed.

 ** _I don’t like her,_** Brainiac Tilly inserted ** _. She shouldn’t be here; she’s not one of us and she’s very, very scary.  She really hates Chris._**

 ** _He hurt her!  He seeded her and then abandoned her!_** May spat that and for a moment, she seemed a far cry from a Federation ensign and in fact, seemed to be something much, much darker. A frightened Brainiac Tilly immediately hid behind the other Inner Tillys as there was safety in numbers. **_I’m the only one here that cares about her. You don’t, as you’re not real. I’m real, and you’re not. And I will take care of my Stilly Tilly. _**

Oh God, she needed to vomit.

Hopefully, she could reach the toilet in time.

* * *

 

“Lt. Ariana Robles, Communications,” Singh announced. His voice shook and then he attempted to hide his grief.   “She’s the last one. I counted forty? Can you please confirm?”

Nessa nodded her helmet clad head in acknowledgement. She had stopped answering ‘roll call’ after the first dozen names or so, but still she held onto the PADD with a death grip.  

A team of Tolerians picked up the body bag, gently and respectfully, before they began the long, slow march back to the transporter room.  Pike had noticed quickly that there was a great deal of precise ceremonial .... dare he say **_respect_**... in how the Tolerians handled the deceased.  Each step done in a certain way, conveying their culture’s reverence and veneration for the deceased.

**_As though these dead were their own._ **

**_Bob, I need to talk with you about so many things. The Breen. The Tolerians. Tilly._ **

“Very well then, Sick Bay,” Singh stated.

* * *

 

 ** _Are you feeling better?_** May asked after Tilly vomited. **_How long is that vomiting supposed to last?_**

Tilly ignored her as there was no May Ahearn on the crew roster of the USS Janus. Alive, dead or missing – presumed deceased.

“If I’m going to apologize, I need to be presentable.  I need a uniform.”

 ** _Those uniforms show off everything.  Are you sure you want to do that? He won’t be able to miss…_** May made a few exaggerated and quite hurtful gestures about Tilly’s expanding boobs and expansive belly. **_Very noticeable. Might as well wear a sign that says ‘I’ve been seeded by the Captain’._**

“My mother is living in my head,” Tilly moaned her protest. “Why do you keep saying **_‘seeded’_**? That’s just weird.”

 ** _Ignore her.  You can’t even tell as you’ve lost weight from all the vomiting,_** **a** new Tilly assured her.  She was older than the other Tillys. Unlike the others, she just seemed to have it all going on, as though she had finally gotten her life figured out. Even her hair was perfectly behaved in impeccable curls. **_You’ve got a few more weeks until anyone notices._**

**_Who are you?_ **

**_I’m the real you, with just a great deal more self-confidence and a few more years of life experience.  You’re right though, she is exactly like our mother. Mom delighted in destroying your inner equilibrium so you were completely dependent on her. May is doing the same thing. In fact, she might have helped fuel your anger towards Chris. She is not your friend._ **

**_I AM STANDING RIGHT HERE! YOU DO NOT NEED TO INSULT ME AS I LOVE STILLY!  I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT DOES. NOT HER CAPTAIN OR CHRIS. DO NOT LISTEN TO HER!_ **

**_She’s very possessive and really quite strange. Now, if you wish to apologize to Chris, we need to do it soon.  Ask Ylsa for a uniform._ **

**_What if I can’t fit it?_ **

**_YOU WON’T._**  May spitefully offered that helpful comment.

**_Go up a size, but stop listening to her. Chris has been nothing more than respectful during this entire mess. You need to remind him of that. _ **

**_He told me that he needed drugs to fuck me._ **

**_LOTS OF DRUGS.  THEY HAD TO KEEP DRUGGING HIM OVER AND OVER AGAIN,_** May reminded everyone, just in case they had forgotten ** _._**

**_That’s not what he said; he said that he wouldn’t have touched you except for the drugs. Because they took away his memory of being a Federation officer and his position versus yours. You need to apologize before we reach Federation territory because knowing Chris as well as we do, he will do something stupendously stupid and self-sacrificing because of his intense guilt.  He’s very noble and that’s why we love him._ **

Tilly nodded her head.

**_When he returns from the Janus, be there to greet him. He’ll be traumatized by the experience; you’ll need to emotionally support him.  Don’t be surprised if he breaks down. He’s tired and he’s overwhelmed, and quite honestly, it’s exhausting being Captain Christopher Pike at the best of times.  Trust me; this is the absolute worst of times for him. You need to let him be Chris tonight._ **

**_JUST REMEMBER THAT THERE WON’T BE ANY SEX AS HE’S NOT DRUGGED._**  May then stated that once more.

 ** _Shoo!_**  The other Tilly made a negligent gesture and May disappeared with a soft pop.

**_Actually, there might be, even without the drugs.  A final physical farewell, of sorts, so you end on good terms._ **

**_I don’t think he will, plus how can I hide..._ **

**_Chris will need comforting so tonight you will take care of him. As for showing, you’re not having quads.  Don’t let May fuck with your head._ **

**_Oh good, you still use that word._ **

**_Fucking frequently.  Now, remember, Chris will need you to be you tonight. The loving, generous Tilly. And Tilly... you really should tell him.  When he finds out, he’ll be really hurt that you didn’t confide in him. He’ll understand... but it will hurt him. Be bold, be brave, be courageous._ **

* * *

 

“Dr. th'Zoarhi,” Nessa announced when they removed the body from the vault. “She’s... the blue... bag... She’s... Andorian... such a ... pretty blue...it was… the only… logical… choice… ”

Chris reached over to the doctor and placed his hand on her shoulder.  He squeezed, gently, and she nodded an acknowledgement.

“Rafael DelRosso t’Kandranos,” Bryce stated next. He spoke in Tolerian and then several of his clan members stepped forward. There were eight Tolerians of substantial size who were instructed to, “Bring our brother home, so we can prepare his body. As his clan, we will bury him according to our ways.”

Inari then spoke, “Tinjen, Ilas, Eben, Mikkos and I will take Emerson to the ship. Captain Tanaka should be carried home by her crew.”

“Agreed.  Inari, please oversee this. Galen, Pike, you’re with me. We need to find Vaya.”

* * *

The three men left the Sick Bay slash morgue but they were joined by Nessa.

“You don’t have to come,” the Prime assured her.

“I do. You need someone from the Janus crew, and begging your pardon, Captain Pike, that’s me or Singh.  Since he’s with Captain Tanaka now that means me.” She paused for a moment, and added, “Besides, Galen looks as though he’s about to vomit.”

Galen said nothing.

“This ship is completely saturated with traumatic deaths, am I right, Galen? He can’t block all the negative emotion,” Nessa stated.   “You need him to find Vaya, I know. But you need me, just in case he throws up in his helmet. He could aspirate if we’re in an atmosphere-free area of the Janus.”

The Prime looked at Galen who still said nothing, though he did appear ill.

“You know, if you were only Tolerian, I would have already asked my Senior Wife’s permission to court you and bring you into the marriage,” the Prime finally informed Nessa. “You certainly have the heart of a Tolerian.”

He hit his chest with his fist. Galen did also.

“It’s a good thing that it’s dark, I think I’m blushing,” she quipped.  “Just don’t tell Captain Pike, he’ll be jealous.”

“Come to dinner tonight. The entire family will assemble to grieve for Raphael and you can speak of him,” Bryce offered even as he viewed the various drones.  He then tapped his communication device, “Archon? Can you confirm the tachyon readings, please? There’s been a spike in the readings.”

There was no response after several hails.  As they had been in conversation with the ship multiple times, the silence was… unexpected.

“Pike, Galen, Nessa, time check. What time do you have?” Bryce requested. His voice was tightly controlled, displaying no unease.

The Captain Voice, which immediately gave Chris great concern.

The trio reported their times and Bryce confirmed.

“Are we located at a temporal event horizon?” Pike asked. “I know you’re a munitions expert, not a quantum mechanical engineer but … are we?”

“The views on the drones are blank.” He handed his PADD to Pike.  “Look at the time stamps for the last recorded images and check your time again. Then there’s easily several minutes of blankness and the time stamp hasn’t updated on the views. Galen? Input?”

“We could be… I’m hearing echoes….” Galen offered. “Of conversations we have not had yet. I’m seeing… flashes… of events… that have occurred and have not occurred. Between that and the sheer amount of death on this ship, I feel exceeding… ill.”

Everyone looked at Pike, who just shrugged. “I was not informed of that there were any temporal activities on the ship.”

“I hate this ship, as ‘No Good Deed Goes Unpunished’,” was Bryce’s succinct retort. “Do you hear Vaya in these conversations, Galen?”

Galen nodded an affirmation.

“Am I threatening him?” Bryce asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Galen confirmed.

Bryce smiled and laughed merrily. “Means he’s alive, if I’m threatening him. I’m giving him his job back the moment that I see him. I’m going back to munitions where I was happy, blowing up things.  Very well. Let’s move on, and be very careful. Do you have much experience with time paradoxes, Pike? I have none.”

“It’s happened to me once before.  We were stuck in the same moment for hours, until Una realized that there was a certain set event that had to take place for us to move forward,” Pike remembered.  “She rationalized that there were certain events that had to take place in the future, which required additional events to occur in the past. In the absence of the past events  time just… stopped until we made those past events happen. Then time could start again.”

**_God, Una, I wish you were here. You’d figure this out._ **

* * *

 

Ensign Tilly checked out her appearance in the mirror. The uniform top was several sizes too large, as the late Ensign Morrison had been taller and more broadly built than she was.  The sleeves ended past her fingertips and she could almost get away with wearing it as a very short dress.

 ** _NO, YOU COULDN’T. BESIDES YOU’RE SHOWING_** , May announced.

 ** _No, she is not. You’re not a nice person, and you’re not one of us, so you should go away._**  The mature Sylvia then gestured at May who disappeared with a loud hiss of frustration. The assorted inner Tillys applauded.

**_How do you do that?_ **

**_I’m a mom._ **

**_Are… you… a good mom?_ **

**_I’m the best, as I always take a deep breath, and ponder deeply what would Siobhan do or say to the current situation? Then, I do the opposite._ **

**_I like that. I think I’ll raise Willa like that._ **

**_You will._ **

There was a knock on her door.  It was Lt. Singh and he gestured at her.  First thing he said after he viewed her oversized top was, “I see you and I go the same drunken Cardassian tailor.  The Archon wants you and your brain in her main conference room ten minutes ago. She wanted our best engineer, and that’s you.”

“What’s happening?” Tilly asked. “What about McKenzie?”

“Mackie says she’s not in your league. Plus, she took one look out the window and she had a panic attack. She’s being sedated right now.”

“What?”  Tilly asked as they followed their Tolerian guide through the milling crowds. She noticed that the Red Alert light was lit but it wasn’t flashing.

“We have to take the steps, as they’ve got people stuck in the elevators.”

Singh yelled something in Tolerian and their guide stopped.

“You speak their language?” Tilly questioned.

“I can say yes, no, and stop. That was **_stop_** ,” he explained. “Let me show you what I mean. Please do not freak out when you see this, as we need your brains right now. Look out the window, and you will see that the Janus isn’t there…”

“Chris,” she whispered.

**_Don’t worry, Willa. I’m sure your Papa is fine. He’s tough like that._ **

“The stars aren’t there, Tilly.  It’s just blankness. The Archon is pissed as three-quarters of her senior husbands are on the Janus. The clocks are all stuck on the same time, and they’ve tried to warn the Discovery not to get any closer, but we’re not sure what’s happening. Plus, the engines timers have all stopped at the exact same time on the Janus so we’re dealing with a quantum irregularity right now.”

“They’re on the Janus?” Tilly asked and then she gasped when she saw the wide vast nothingness, “Oh my God, the fucking stars **_are_** gone. Hurry, hurry, we need to find out what’s going on and save our people!”

**_And save Chris! I know he’s there!_ **

She crossed her arms across her sore breasts before she ran for all she was worth.

* * *

 

Lt. Rhys announced, “Admiral, we’re being hailed by the Tolerians. It is the Archon, the leader of their people.”

“On screen,” the Admiral announced.

The female Tolerian who appeared on screen was an older female with extensive tattoos. She was sitting cross-legged in the command chair as though she was born to command.

“Good day. I am notifying you that we have reached your ship ahead of schedule. We are currently boarding the ship to remove your deceased crew members. Do not worry, your Captain Pike is overseeing the recovery mission,” the Archon informed them.  “On our arrival, we first detected tachyon particles at a value that is highly abnormal, and repeated readings confirm that the value is steadily rising.  We recommend extreme caution when approach….”

The Tolerian ceased talking in mid-word.  The view screen just stopped. No movement, no sound, nothing.

“What do our long rangers scanners show?” Cornwell asked.

“There appears to be….” Burnham began.

“I don’t want appears to be. I want solid information, as those are our people, and your crew members, out there,” Cornwell snapped.

**_Damn it, I don’t want to tell Sarah April that we lost Chris._ **

“The Janus is the focal point of temporal rift,” Saru advised after reviewing Lt. Commander Airiam’s data. “The Tolerians have been caught in the rift.”

* * *

 

Michael Burnham stared at the collapsed Tolerian. To say that she was confused would be an understatement.  Her plans had been simple, to rally all the troops (including this guy) and then deliberately sabotage the Enterprise so that one Christopher Pike would find himself assigned to the USS Discovery. That was the action needed to ensure that events in their universe worked out as they should.

 “What do you mean? I have the wrong Tolerian Prime? Aren’t you the Senior Ranked Husband of the Clan t’Kandranos?” Seriously, it was a big universe, but not big enough that there were two guys with the same rank and title. 

“You’re looking for Bryce, not me,” Vaya explained. “I walked away to save Christopher Pike’s ass. Lost my position, lost my family and if you’re looking for someone to create weapons to help fight for the future that means that you’re looking for Brycetean a’lamera t’Kandranos. He’s the Prime right now, but he’s the best munitions master that I know.  And if you don’t mind, winged Crusader, with your wingspan, you’re blocking my dying view of the stars. That’s why I came to the mess hall, so I could see the stars while I wait for my brothers Tye and Rafael to arrive to guide me home. They’re **_late_**.”

Michael shifted, but only slightly. She did turn completely to face the window when she heard Vaya inhale sharply.

“Well, fuck me, no wonder they’re late. It appears we’re stuck in a temporal paradox because you picked the wrong Tolerian,” Vaya snarked as they peered at the vast **_blankness_** that had replaced the stars.  “Well, what do you need Bryce to build?”

 

* * *

“The Federation is here because I invited them. The temporal focal point is currently based on their ship, Janus, and that is why they came,” Mikkos translated for Singh and Tilly as they were the lone Star Fleet personnel in a room on concerned Tolerians.  “We are asking them to confirm that the Federation has not decided to meddle with time.”

“There are no experiments regarding temporal mechanics on board the Janus,” Singh confirmed.

That was translated, and then Inari, the oldest of the assorted captains who were temporarily onboard the ship, made a very good observation. “Your uniform doesn’t fit properly. Your senior officers are dead, you’ve been promoted from lower positions to fill a vacancy. Can you state with all honesty that you would be aware of such a clandestine activity?”

Singh paused for a moment before he answered. “When the Breen boarded, the senior officers systematically destroyed any data on the projects going on at the time.  Commander DelRosso kept me updated on the status of that data destruction. It was readily apparent that the Breen would be eliminating the senior officers and he wanted someone to know what had been done. He decided that I would be that one.”

The communication device chirped, and there was a rapid conversation.

“Singh, my watch just started,” Tilly whispered.

“Not just that, the timers started on the bombs,” Mikkos stated.  “We’ve got less than twenty of your minutes before the ship blows. Vaya reprogrammed the engines and we can’t regain control of them. He locked us out of the core programming unit.””

* * *

 

“Where on the ship do you have the largest window?” Bryce asked. “Not viewscreen, but a window so one can view the stars?”

“That’s where he would go to die,” Galen confirmed.

“Mess Hall,” Nessa offered. “He always sat there after his shifts ended so he could view the stars. Follow me, I know the fastest way to get there.”

“My chronometer just started,” Chris stated. “I think we’d better get off this ship as quickly as possible. We better run.”

In a suit that didn’t fit, combined with his too large feet screaming about the fact that he had two toes too many.

“I don’t have your long legs,” protested Nessa. “I’ll never be able to match your pace. Please don’t leave me here!”

“I’ve only got the one real leg, so I brought a hyperdisc,” was Bryce’s retort even as he knelt next to Nessa. “Get on my back, let’s go. Let’s go, let’s go.”

After she had clambered on his back, he dropped a disc on the floor that expanded to roughly a meter in diameter.  It flickered before it began to hover slightly off the ground. Bryce stepped gingerly on it then with more enthusiasm. With a quick gesture, he shot off down the hallway at a fast pace.

Pike and Galen began to run while Bryce easily matched their pace on his hyperdisc.

“Next time, bring enough for the class,” Pike protested.

* * *

 

“So, you want Bryce to build something that can beat that monster?” Vaya questioned.  He had drawn assorted formulas on the wall and had held a heated discussion regarding temporal physics, causality, the chicken or the egg, and the coefficient of assorted metals.  Then, as he was very tired and rather close to death, he had collapsed on the floor to stare in horrified fascination at the equations. They were some of this best work ever, but who'd ever see them, here? “Wow.”

“Plus, he needs to disable it,” Michael informed Vaya.  

“You thought I was the bomb guy because Pike introduced me as the Tolerian Prime?  I guess that means I’m getting off this damn ship? Wait, I know, you can’t tell me,” Vaya murmured. “However, can you give me a hint if my people were admitted to the Federation?  I’d like to know if everything I’ve endured was worth it.”

Outwardly, Michael kept her Vulcan composure though inwardly she was glad that this was the only individual with whom she had to converse. For the others, she just had to make a signal and go.

Speaking of which, she still needed to play havoc on the Enterprise.

“The stars are back,” Vaya informed her.

The door to the cafeteria opened and she knew… **_knew_** … that Christopher Pike was about to enter the room.  A lifetime ago, and several months in the future, he had spoken to her about this very moment, how the angel had given him a sense of peace, how it would all work out in the end.

Therefore, it was time to give Christopher Pike a much-needed boost of assurance as he was about to endure a very rough patch.  One Red Angel Assurance Special coming up for Christopher Pike. 

She owed him that much, if not more.

She hit him with her full radiance and as an added bonus, she added some tidings of peace, happiness and great joy, befores he jumped to her next time appointment.

**_The USS Enterprise._ **

Chris was holding court in the command chair and he was asking his crew for any information on the seven signals. She watched him for just a moment, and then realized that Pike was looking in her direction. Directly at her, in fact, as though he could sense an unwanted visitor on his ship.

That would never do, so she deliberately overloaded several key systems and watched the Enterprise lurch out of warp.

“Una,” Pike snapped as the Federation Flagship, the great and renowned USS Enterprise came to a crashing halt. “What the **_hell_** just happened? Engineering, I am detecting a severe lack of forward momentum?”

Burnahm smiled, as Christopher Pike was about to meet a group of severely traumatized StarFleet misfits and turn them into well running machine.  He’d even turn them into a family.

Whether they liked it or not.

It was time for her to move forward.

Though she didn’t fail to notice that Chris had gotten exceedingly grey on his tour of the USS Discovery.


	25. 25

While Pike focused on the appearance of the Red Angel, Galen and Nessa raced to Vaya’s side, even as Bryce undid his helmet. He removed it, and stared at the illegible scribbling on the wall.

“What in the name of Seven Blessed Sisters am I supposed to do with this insanity?” Bryce asked.  The Red Angel, having skipped on to her next assignment to sabotage the Enterprise, answered him not. 

“Put your helmet on before you get hypoxic. Then take pictures; the ship is gonna blow sooner rather than later. That’s what I’d do,” Nessa suggested helpfully. “When you’re done, you can help us move the big guy here.”

“Archon, can you transport us out?” Galen requested. 

“Locking on from the bridge. We have five life signs, so I’m suggesting that you stand really close to one another,” the Archon informed him.  “In five… four… three…  **_now_ ** .”

They had a rough transport and they landed hard. 

There was a great deal of anguished screaming as they rematerialized; apparently once again, Christopher Pike was guilty of accidentally stepping on Nessa. Or it might have been Galen, who had decided it was the perfect time to vomit copiously. However, Chris put the blame squarely on Vaya and Bryce. The Tolerians had probably wiped out Nessa when they had collapsed on the transporter pad. 

“We need to get belted in,” Bryce announced as he pulled Vaya off the floor.  Chris pretended not to notice how Bryce was busy cursing out Vaya. Yes, it was in Tolerian, but cursing is universal. “Once the transporter area is evacuated, she’s probably planning on hitting warp before those salvage engines blow.  If there are any accelerated tachyons in the area when they blow, and we’re in the immediate vicinity, between the two warps engines, those accelerated particles and those damn salvage engines, we may have another Ba’Kai.”

Galen then assisted Bryce in carrying a weakened Vaya.

“No,” Vaya stated weakly. “We won’t just blow up a solar system, we may rip... a hole.... in the space time continuum.”

Pike picked up a whimpering Nessa easily, carefully so as not to jar her tail, or her foot, but he still had to ask, “You blew up a  **_solar system_ ** ?”

**_Good God, no wonder the Federation didn’t want you to join._ **

**_Hi, we’re the new guys! We like blowing up solar systems for shit and giggles!_ **

“If the Breen had gained control of that solar system, they would have overrun our people. They would have enslaved the youngest and killed everyone else.  So yes, yes, we blew up a solar system to keep our people fighting for another day. Now… can we move?” Bryce snapped.

The room was next to the transporter bay, and there was a medical pod in which Vaya was placed. There were also sufficient seats and belts for them all. Nessa decided to sit as far away as possible from Chris; he could still hear her sobbing off color mutterings about self-absorbed, tall pink people who stepped  **_repeatedly_ ** and  **_uncaringly_ ** on innocent, little blue doctors. Chris noticed that Galen and Bryce sat between the two of them to keep them separated. 

“We’re belted in,” Bryce informed the Archon. “Vaya is in a medical pod and his vitals are stabilizing.”

“Be prepared to go warp momentarily,” was her response. “All crews have been advised to shelter in place.”

“Please don’t throw up, Galen,” Bryce requested playfully, then he turned serious.  “Don’t worry, Chris and Nessa. She’s the best Captain I know, that’s why she was selected to be the Archon. She’ll get us out.”

“If anyone can, she will,” Galen agreed. He then softly asked, “Nessa? Are you ok?”

“I think  **_s-s-s-ssomeone_ ** broke my  **_tail_ ** ,” a weeping Nessa protested. “ **_Again_ ** . My tail will be permanently  **_crooked_ ** . And no one will ever love me with a c-c-crooked tail. I’ll spend the rest of my life alone, all by myself, because I’m an orphan and I don’t have any family. Plus, someone  **_s-s-s-stepped_ ** on  **_my_ ** foot…. And …. it’s  **_c-c-crrushed_ ** . So I’ll limp for the rest of my life, too and who could ever love someone who limps and has a crooked tail? I’m just so… t-t-t-tired… of  **_mean_ ** people who just step on m-m-me…. Like… I d-d-don’t exist. Do you think…  **_s-s-ssomeone_ ** … would like it if I stepped on  **_his_ ** foot? I’m…. j-j-just…so…t-t-tired…of b-being b-b-blue… and  **_s-s-stepped_ ** on.”

Wisely, Chris decided not to mention that Nessa had, in fact, dislocated his shoulder.

“He wouldn’t feel it,” Galen admitted as he reached for her tiny hand. He grasped it securely with one hand, while with the other, he jabbed her upper arm with a hypospray. Nessa didn’t even make a blue comment about further betrayal; instead she continued to sob little blue tears as though her heart and soul (and foot) were shattered. 

And yes, while Chris refused to accept blame for the latest Nessa-related maiming, he felt very guilty.  

“Count back from one hundred,” Galen ordered brusquely, even as the ship began to shake. 

“One… hundred….. ninety…..” and then she was out. 

**_Cold_ ** .  

There were little cooing noises heard as her chest rose and fell. 

“Is that…. Nessa?” Chris softly questioned.

“Yes,” Galen admitted easily even as he adjusted her straps carefully. “She’s absolutely exhausted. Physically, mentally and spiritually.  She’s been using stimulants to stay on her feet, one of which I’m afraid to say,  **_is_ ** broken. She’s off duty for the next three cycles, even if I have to tie her to the bed myself. I wish hadn’t needed to take her onto that damn ship; seeing all those bodies again just… overwhelmed her. She’s been compartmentalizing her grief, so she could function. Unfortunately, her walls are now down.”

“You seem quite comfortable sedating people,” Pike stated.  Galen “Quick Draw McGraw” tranq’d people with such enthusiasm that even Phil Boyce would have been alarmed.

“Well, in the short time that I’ve known your crew, it seems that everyone on the Janus has required sedation at least once, I’m afraid.”

Chris remembered how Singh had always been there, always one step ahead of him, the first on the scene of their many disasters during their time on the Janus. He had even joked about it.

**_“Singh, Ylsa, you’re off duty until oh eight hundred tomorrow. Go have fun, go on a date, do something. Just understand the only reason I will see you before then is if Tinker Bell decides to wake up Captain Bligh.”  At their looks of utter confusion, he shook his head, “I’m mixing my metaphors. Both of you have been doing twenty hours plus a day since I showed up. Enough. Go. Bye.”_ **

**_Nessa was on stimulants because she’d been the only doctor on the ship. Singh and Ylsa had been putting in an obscene number of hours… you should have guessed how they were able to endure that workload.  Where the HELL was your brain, Pike?_ **

**_Oh yes, having sex with Tilly._ **

“And Ylsa? Is she on the stims also?” Pike asked. “Is there anyone else I need to know about?”

“Ylsa was using them, T’Seng was on them but it seems she had an adverse reaction so they took her off them in a rapid detox. I also think that Martin, Uchendo, Gral have been utilizing them but their blood chemistry says that they’re clean. They’re all clean, blood chemistry wise, except for Nessa and Singh. If you know where to look, however, there’s been some minor changes in their pineal glands.”

“Good thing you’re not familiar with their physical makeup so you don’t know where to look,” Bryce inserted.

“Such a true shame that I didn’t check that during their exams,” Galen easily admitted. “By the time we get to Federation territory, their pineal glands should be recovered.”

“Is she addicted?” Chris asked.

“No, not yet.  I need to find out where she’s been getting the stims, because she and Singh have abused them.”

“Thank you for keeping it off their records. Sometimes, it is best not to put everything down,” Pike slowly admitted.

Galen tilted his head and inhaled.  He was silent for a moment then he asked, “You agree that it’s sometimes best to do that?” 

“If it’s on their medical records, it may destroy their careers, so yes, the better part of valor is discretion, so we can get them the help they need,” Chris explained.

Galen made a symbolic gesture with his one hand, “And so we are agreed. It makes my soul rest easy to know that we agree that some things can be left off a medical record for the greater good.”

Tolerians. Blowing up solar systems; tattooed and pierced with a strong code of their own ethics, and making absolutely no sense to him for the last thirty odd days. 

“What was the scribbling on the wall?” Chris asked.

“Hypoxic ramblings of which I can’t make any sense,” admitted Bryce.

Galen reached for Bryce’s hand even as the ship’s engines began to whine in protest.  The Healer still held Nessa’s hand in his. “Poor lonely, little Nessa. I think we need to bring her into the family; she’ll be appreciated and spoiled as the marvel she is. We can show her she’s wrong and she can be loved even with a limp and a crooked tail. Not that she will have either; I’ll make sure of that as I take pride in my work. And no one will dare step on her ever, ever again.”

“It’s been discussed; the Archon and Mikkos agreed,” Bryce admitted. “Vaya grew exceedingly fond of Nessa.”

“And I wasn’t asked for  **_my_ ** opinion when the Seniors discussed it?”

“Well, she IS prettier than you,” was the retort.  It seemed to be a long-standing jibe as Galen snorted in response. “We wanted you to suggest it as you’re the most sensitive of the Senior Ranked.”

“Your engines don’t sound very happy,” Chris stated loudly, as much as he hated breaking up the matchmaking session. Between the ship shaking and the hum of the engine, he hoped that they wouldn’t explode.  Not after they’d come so far. 

“They’re not.  She’s pushing them past their safe maximum to get as far away as possible from the explosion,” Bryce advised him. 

“I hear that people have visions when the space time continuum is disturbed,” Galen mentioned that a bit too casually. “Any idea who might show up?”

“No idea. I’d hate to have explain to my Dead how I was the Prime in charge of this fiasco,” Bryce confessed.  “I just want to blow things up. That’s all I ever wanted to do. I never wanted to be Prime.”

They hit warp with a shudder and then time began to slow and condense around them. 

“One…. Two……. Three……….. Four……….. Five………” Chris counted mentally.

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly, secured thoroughly, waited for the time tsunami to hit the ship. Somehow putting time in front of everything did not, in fact, make things cooler, but made them much, much scarier. Especially when she was carrying a very fragile cargo. 

**_I know your Papa’s fine.  I love you baby girl._ **

The ship groaned piteously when the time shockwave crashed over it. 

* * *

 

Chris hallucinated. 

That was the only explanation for  **_experiencing_ ** a scared little girl with a mass of curly black hair who clambered into his lap and held tightly onto him.

**_It will be ok, it will be ok_ ** , he assured her. 

* * *

 

Real time returned with an audible snap and Chris exhaled gratefully.   Fortunately, the little girl had toddled off to parts unknown with nary a wave goodbye. She would have been extremely hard to explain as she had violated every known StarFleet Protocol and had blatantly refused to give him her name, rank and serial number. 

Or any explanation as to who she was or why  **_she_ ** had decided to visit  **_him_ ** . 

Instead, she had just clung to him. 

“Everyone still here?” he asked, and he was glad to hear two affirmative responses.  “I don’t want to go through that again.”

Galen then unbuckled himself and tapped on the med pod to start the extrication process.

“Is he stable?” Bryce questioned.

“You three need to get to the bridge. Trust me,” Galen informed them. “I saw… permutations… upon permutations and … no one else saw them?”

“I saw Tye, He said to say, ‘hello’ to everyone and that he loves and misses us,” offered Bryce.  “Chris?”

Fortunately, he was prevented from answering as their presence was requested on the bridge. 

“Go, I’ll take Nessa to Sick Bay. I’ll fix her up and then, unless I’m needed, I’m going off duty,” the Healer instructed them. 

* * *

 

The halls were still empty so the three were not impeded on the way to the bridge.  There were amber lights flashing, which Bryce mentioned meant that the ship was on high alert status.

“We just experienced a significant time dilation, based on the quantum frame of reference,” Vaya explained to Bryce. His color was significantly better than it had been on the Janus, and he was able to walk briskly under own power so he must have been in the medical pod for several hours at least. “We need to find our beacons and compare ship time to see  **_when_ ** we are. And  **_where_ ** we are? Is Tilly available, Chris? I think we’ll need her brains on this.”

“I’ll request her,  **_Prime_ ** ,” Bryce offered.

Vaya ceased his forward movement in the hallway, and glared.

“I’m pretty sure the High Council has already voted you back in as Prime as your proper punishment for abandoning the position to take a walkabout. In other words, you got us into this mess, you better get us out. Unless the drums are out; you’ll have musical accompaniment while you’re spaced,” offered Bryce.

“She would do it, too,” Vaya admitted proudly. “Mother Space, the Archon is just amazing, isn’t she?”

Pike had stopped also and he decided to look at the stars.  They appeared familiar to him, in a very not good way.

“Gentlemen?” He interrupted. “Look at the stars. I think we’re in Federation territory now, deep into Federation territory.”

“How far in?” Vaya asked.  “If we just arrived, we have only a short time before they send a warship after us.”

Chris mentioned a number, and the Tolerians grimaced.

“That far in, and unannounced? They’ll consider it an act of war; a definite provocation and we’ve got the damn High Council on the ship. Do you have any connections that might be able to prevent this from blowing up into an all-out war?” Vaya asked. 

“I know some people,” Pike admitted.

* * *

 

Knowing some people meant Commodore Robert April, Ambassador at Large and General Pain in the Ass to Star Fleet Flag Officers everywhere. 

“Chris!” He bellowed in his basso profundo. “What in the name of the Sam Hell is goin’ on? Your friends have the entire Federation Council all worked up and pitching hissy fits. They blew past the Federation border at Warp 15.7, trailing tachyons behind them like double-struck lightning. They’ve ignored any and all communication attempts and  **_now_ ** you’re reaching out?”

“How fast?” Pike questioned. “Did you say… fifteen dot seven?”

“You heard me,  **_15.7_ ** .”

“The incursion was unintentional. We were hoping to meet up with the Discovery at the site of the Janus, but … we seemed to have triggered some sort of unstable transwarp vortex so we ended up here,” Pike explained. 

“An unstable transwarp vortex?” Bob barked.

“Plus, we’re missing about seventy three hours according to the clocks,” Pike added.

Bob added the tally and came up with the result. 

“Stay there. Tell the Tolerians to put their ship in park. Half the fleet is assembling, so I need to get the Discovery there first.  Not plum but pert near, it’s the best I can do from here. Now… Chris… I spoke with Kat… are you serious about what you are planning?”

Chris nodded his head, and Bob exhaled.    “I can’t help you, Chris. I would if I could, but I don’t have the pull.”

“I understand, Sir.” 

* * *

 

Meanwhile on the Discovery, there was a ripple and then the screen went blank. 

“Commander Saru?” Cornwell requested. “What just happened?”

It took several minutes for Saru to compile a report. 

“Our internal chronometers are reporting that they are approximately seventy-three hours, fourteen minutes, twenty-two seconds behind the Federation chronometers.  I have confirmed their readings with six other Federation chronometers. Shall I update?” Saru requested.

She nodded her head in affirmation. 

“We lost three days?” Cornwell stated. “What about the Janus? What about the Tolerians? Are they still here?”

“The temporal distortion is making it difficult to scan, however there appears to be a significant amount of debris.  The field is large enough to be the remnants of at least one space ship.”

“Keep scanning and see if you can confirm which ship blew,” Kat instructed. “What else happened in the last three days?”

“Admiral, we had multiple communication attempts during our outage,” Lt. Rhys announced. 

“Who attempted to contact us?” Cornwell asked.

There were several significant names on the list but Commodore Robert April’s name caught her attention.  He had reached out to them no less than seventeen times which meant that he was both worried and pissed.  That was a bad combination for Bob. Hopefully, Sarah was calming him down. 

“Send Bob’s messages to the ready room. Commander Saru, you have the chair. Please determine what ship or ships are making up that debris field.”

She steeled herself mentally to prepare for her conversation with Bob. She might be the ranking officer, but Bob had overseen her Command Training, so it was easy for him to slip back into being senior.

“Kat, you need to turn that Goddamn ship around and meet up with the Tolerians who are waiting for you to escort them to Starbase 32 even as we speak. I have granted them safe passage, but I want you to escort them.  Once you meet up with them, you are to take Captain Pike and immediately place him under arrest.  I want you to do it, so you can figure out how the hell to save Chris from himself. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” she agreed.  “Bob? We’re arresting him? I know he had mentioned it in passing… but…”

“He’s insisting on it. He demanded the full Board of Inquiry, which is why you’re coming here.  I will be overseeing it, so I  **_cannot_ ** assist you in saving Chris. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Bob.”

* * *

 

Christopher Pike had just finished his last recommendation on the final Janus crew member, Mai T’Seng. He had suggested that she be placed in a nice, safe stellar cartography post where she could be mentored. And if by chance, Captain Dhar had an opening on his roster, so much the better.  Ravi would take her under his literal wing and keep an eye on her. 

Every recommendation completed. Every evaluation finalized, combined with a dash of suggested medals to be awarded after review of his crew’s action. Though in a touch of whimsy he had deliberately suggested that Dr. Nessa be nominated for the StarFleet Medal of Honor. She certainly deserved it and well, it was  **_blue_ ** . 

“Captain Pike?” 

Inwardly, Pike groaned. He was beyond tired and he desired nothing more than to be alone. Plus, the fact that Tilly was wearing a significantly oversized Federation uniform was just a painful reminder of how everything was just screwed. 

Completely and utterly screwed. 

“Yes?”  He answered and prayed to any deity listening that for once in her life, Tilly would be succinct. The Tolerians’ Mother Space owed him a favor or three, but it seemed that she had left no forwarding contact information when she had skipped out the solar system, so he was out of luck. 

“About yesterday, Sir? Or what’s yesterday for us because of the time rift,” Tilly looked at the floor and bit her lip. She had both arms crossed in front of her breasts as though the oversized jacket wasn’t sufficient camouflage to shield them from him.

Christ, he was too tired to throw her against the wall and have his way with her. 

“Ensign, I’m really not up to hearing you detail my sexual shortfalls at the moment,” he tried to convey that he didn’t wish to discuss yesterday, or whatever the hell day it was ever again, with a disarming smile.  “Perhaps, we could schedule an hour tomorrow? Or if you require additional time, we can break it up into multiple sessions.”

He was bone weary and he grieved deeply for the Janus’ dead… and he was distinctly mawkish.  What he would do for Phil Boyce to meander in right about now, kick his ass and give him a medicinal cocktail,wasn’t legal in thirteen solar systems.

She looked up at him, and her blue eyes were wide. “No, no…” she protested.

He interrupted her. “Sylvia, I’m sorry. I wanted our sex to be really good for you. I’m sorry if it wasn’t. If you’d told me that you weren’t happy or my technique wasn’t satisfying you, I would have done anything to make it better. You were my sanity during our time on the Janus. I wanted you to be happy.  And that’s not the Tolerian Chris talking; it was the real Chris who wanted that. I’m deeply sorry this old man disappointed you.”

“Sir, I wanted to apologize,” Tilly explained. “When you said that you needed drugs… it really hurt me. And I said what I said because I wanted to hurt you.”

**_You certainly scored._ **

Pike exhaled. “Myexplanation came out … wrong… I meant…”

“Now, I know what you meant. That if you had remembered who you were and the rank you hold, you wouldn’t have touched me. It’s just… when I was involved with …. the fake Chris, he was the longest relationship I’ve ever had. I  **_really_ ** cared for him…” 

Shit, she was struggling not to cry. 

“And for the first time ever, people were jealous of me. Like, how the hell did Sylvia Tilly land such a Silver Fox? He was also the first person who didn’t want to improve me. Since I was a little girl, I’ve always been told that I talk too much, that I should do something with my hair, or I should work on my weight. Fake Chris never told me any of that, so when you mentioned the drugs…. I just wanted to hurt you because… for the first time… I had … trusted someone… with the real me. Not that it was the real me, it was the Fake me, but I’m pretty sure that the Real me was in her… somewhere… and the real me was so angry at myself for trusting him. For foolishly believing that for once in my life, I could have a boyfriend who… wanted me for me. And for thinking that I deserved a boyfriend who was such a wizard between the sheets. Because, the sex was… fucking… fantastic. It’s all my fault, not yours, because I knew I didn’t deserve my relationship with that Chris… I knew that there had been some sort of mistake… and I didn’t listen to myself because… I wanted to be wrong.  I wanted to be wrong so badly, and I was angry at myself, not you, when I said those horrible, horrible things.”

Tilly paused, and then she exhaled a quick, “Ohmygod, did that make any fucking sense?”

“It made absolutely perfect sense,” he agreed after he had spent several minutes diagraming her sentences mentally.  Finally, he had decided it was a lost cause. “So, we good?”

“I can’t forgive myself for saying that to you,” she softly admitted. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. I just can’t forgive myself.”

“I can, and I have.” It was the truth as he knew Tilly’s issues with her self-esteem. 

Tilly then roughly wiped her eyes and whispered her thanks.

“There’s something so wrong with me,” she whispered. 

“Come here,” he requested.  He held out his arms and motioned for her to come closer.  Like a frightened animal, she wouldn’t so he walked over to her to embrace her. “Come on.”

Chris hugged her gently, so she could pull away if she wanted. To his surprise, she decided to embrace him.

“Listen to me; you are a beautiful woman, physically, mentally and spiritually. You have a loving, open hearted soul.  If I was only… twenty years younger… if things were different, I would never let you go.”

It was the god’s honest truth because… she always made him smile. Because she lived her life with such enthusiasm … and… he had to stop that train of thought because it wasn’t ever gonna happen.

Tilly wept then. He held her until her crying ceased.

“I’ve gotten your jacket all wet,” she apologized.

“Don’t apologize. After all we’ve been through, a wet jacket is the least of my concerns. You kept me sane on the Janus.  You were my rock and my support. No matter what happens, no matter what is said, you will always have my utmost respect, Sylvia.”

He gave her a final squeeze and then they broke apart. 

“You’re  **_amazing_ ** . Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise,” he instructed her. 

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly returned to her bed in sickbay. Galen shook his head in disapproval at her escape and commented that her doors would now be secured so she couldn’t leave again.  On the positive side, she also had a roomie now, as Nessa had been brought in. The doctor was sound asleep, complete with a cute little cooing noise. Her left foot was in a little blue brace and her side of the room was filled with blue flowers of varying hues. 

While Sylvia’s side had several nice flower displays, they weren’t various shades of blue.  There were also significantly fewer, but Tilly had a hunch about the discrepancy. There were several drawings of little blue people with tails that been done by less than capable while enthusiastic artists so it seemed Nessa had been adopted. 

Oh, and the children had also drawn something for her, though she didn’t think her hair was THAT shade.

“I hope I don’t wake you up with my snoring,” Sylvia whispered.  She crawled into bed, and carefully rolled on her side. 

To her horror, there was a smiling face beaming down at her.

**_Hi!  You don’t snore, Stilly!  We’re almost back on the Discovery, it will be you and me! Just like old times!_ **  May insisted.  **_I can’t wait!_ **

* * *

 

There was a knock on the door and Christopher Pike gave them permission to enter.  Singh walked in, as did Ylsa, T’seng and Vaya. While Chris was pretty sure that Vaya was now back to being the Tolerian Prime, he wore the simple mechanics jumpsuit now. The same jumpsuit that he first worn on the Janus. 

“Sir…” Singh began.  His voice shook, and he protested, “I can’t do this. I know why you’re doing this… but I can’t… ”

There had been a long discussion regarding what had to be done and why.  Singh had hesitantly agreed but now that the moment of truth had arrived, he had severe doubts.

“You actually don’t have to,” Vaya explained. “I’m still his Executive Officer, so I’ll do this. Better it’s not on your record. We ready, Chris?”

Christopher Pike inhaled and nodded his head. “Thank you.”

His removal had to be done before Cornwell stormed the gates. No doubt she was pushing the Discovery to its limits until she hit the border. Then she’d spore drive here.   Thank God the other Tolerians (Yoshi) had decided to escort the Discovery to the border; she couldn’t reveal the spore drive until after their escort disappeared. 

“First, we have to open Commander Emerson’s last bottle and toast,” Singh inserted.  “We’re in Federation territory and you got us here, Sir.”

Chris nodded. 

“Please open it, Sir,” Singh requested as he handed over the Dingle Triple Distilled Irish Whiskey. “We’ll drink it straight, like Emerson did.”

The whisky was poured, and they all stood for a moment.  Ylsa then held up her glass and announced, “To Tanaka.”

There was silence while the whiskery was savored and then sipped.  Slowly. Deliberately. It was full-bodied, creamy and spicy, with notes of sweet vanilla, dried apricots and sultanas. It was a truly excellent last drink. 

“He knew his whisky,” Pike finally stated, just to break the silence.  There was a ripple of agreement from his crew and then he put the glass down. 

That done, he held out his hands.   Vaya stepped up him and expertly restrained his hands.

“I couldn’t let Singh do this, he’s been through too much,” Vaya whispered. 

In a louder voice, he announced, “As of this time, as the Executive Officer of the USS Janus, I am releasing you from command and removing you from duty due to multiple violations of StarFleet regulations. I charge you with the deaths due to negligence of Commander DelRosso, Ensigns Devins, Hanley and Matai among others. I also charge you with repeated sexual contact with a victim who was unable to properly consent due being under the influence of drugs. Also, you are charged with causing the deliberate injury of Dr. Nessa. There are additional charges of which you will be informed once you have counsel.”

“At this time, I relinquish the command of the USS Janus to Lt. Singh,” Pike announced. In a shaky voice, he reminded Singh of a conversation that they had held on the Janus a very long time ago. 

_ Think of it, promoted to Lieutenant and now you’re the XO in two days. Who says there isn’t advancement potential in StarFleet, hmm? _

“Take care of my crew,” Pike instructed Singh. “Get them home.”

 


	26. Chapter 26

“Una!” Philip Boyce barked.  The Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise was rather agitated and Number One was so not in the mood to deal with it. She was knee deep in repairs and Louvier was being a temperamental genius.  Yes, Chris would have been able to soothe Louvier’s French ego and get him calmed with a few sympathetic clucks, but Una wasn’t having it.

“You get that **_fixed_** , Louvier, or you have it to explain to the Captain why you couldn’t do it. However, that will only be after you explain why to _my_ satisfaction as I don’t wish to waste his time with temper tantrums,” she informed the Chief Engineer.  It wasn’t a threat; it was a fact. “He’ll want a full report when he returns to Federation Space.”

“Yes, Commander,” Louvier stated, sulkily.

“Yes, Doctor?” Una asked.  She huffed a sigh and protested, “I’m not that overdue on my physical. It is not necessary for you to walk me to Sick Bay.”

“Walk with me,” Boyce ordered.

That brusqueness earned him a raised eyebrow but she did so.

“What?” she snapped as they stepped into the turbolift. 

“I heard indirectly from Bob. Chris needs our help,” Phil stated tersely. “Grab a shuttle, we’re going to Starbase 32. You and me. Put Louvier in charge of the repairs, pack your bags, grab a dress uniform or three.”

Una was the smartest Illyrian of her age, and quite possibly, of any age.  “That much trouble, Phil?”

“Probably more, but Sarah couldn’t say much.”

The door opened and Una exited at a fast pace. “If Sarah is passing messages to you, Chris is in a great deal of trouble. I’ll meet you in the shuttle bay.”

* * *

 

“Admiral Cornwell, Ambassador Mikkos of the Tolerian Empire would like to speak to you,” Saru announced.

“On screen,” Cornwell announced.

The Tolerian was dressed in his ambassadorial regalia complete with sash.  He was even wearing his nose-earring chain with assorted clan medallions dangling from it.  This meant that this was a very serious call; he was displaying his representation of all the Tolerian clans.  A silver haired Tolerian stood behind him.  He was dressed in a nondescript grey uniform. He was… the doctor… Kat recalled.

“I greet you, Admiral Cornwell. What is your anticipated arrival time to our location? We have put our ship in park, to quote your Commodore April. However, we grow increasingly uneasy over the amount of Federation vessels that have announced their imminent arrival. Are we so dangerous that you feel it necessary for **_fifteen_** of your warships to escort us to Starbase 32?” Mikkos questioned, with a wry smile. “I would feel flattered if I wasn’t so concerned.”

“Your particular clan has a… formidable… reputation,” was Cornwell’s response. “Plus, you did cross our borders in a rather alarming fashion.”

Mikkos barked a laugh.  He blinked his dark eyes several times and grimaced, “Next time we decide to rescue Federation personnel, I’ll put in a request to the higher powers that we skip the tachyon burst. I was rather surprised you were not caught up in the tachyon wave with us.”

A subtle jibe about how the Federation ship had hung back while the Tolerians had been at the epicenter.  Cornwell smiled to show that she heard the taunt and deemed it unworthy of comment.

If anything, Mikkos’ smile grew broader as he deemed her a worthy opponent.

“Very well, as we are in Federation Space, Captain Pike has been removed from command and placed under arrest. This follows your General Policies Twenty-eight and Thirty-eight.”

The Tolerian heard the Discovery crew’s intense displeasure at that news, but Cornwell’s quick gesture and evil glare settled the crew down.

“What are the charges?” Burnham requested.

“Commander?” Cornwell snapped and Burnham nodded her head in acknowledgement that she had stepped out of line.  On one hand, Cornwell was thrilled that the misfits on the Discovery were keen to defend their temporary Captain, but there could be a great deal of collateral damage if they ran off willy nilly in their desire to save him.   “Ambassador?”

“Captain Pike wrote up the charges himself, and he was exceedingly thorough on what general orders, policies and procedures he had broken,” the Ambassador stated. “Commander Vaya relieved him of command, and currently Lt. Singh is the acting Captain of the USS Janus.”

“Commander Vaya?” Cornwell asked. “The former Tolerian Prime is now a Federation officer?”

What in the name of the seven assorted moons of Sirius Alpha Theta had Chris been drinking to do that? Or in truth, how bad had things gotten on the Janus that Chris had needed to draft a Tolerian War Lord as his Executive Officer? At least he was smart enough to put Singh in charge.

“Seemed Pike drafted him. General Order Five? Vaya is an accomplished officer; it’s understandable Pike snatched him.  He’s an extremely capable engineer, though Vaya does have these brilliantly erratic moments when he claims he ‘sees the pattern’,” Mikkos admitted with a pop of an eyebrow and a shrug of his shoulders, as though to say, ‘Oh that Vaya, so modest’. “However, I’m recommending that you find a tachyon burst and arrive here as quickly as possible. Captain Leland is the closest to our position.”

Section 31 was involved? 

There, a gesture with his hand that he had to have learned from Chris or Bob. A seemingly innocent scratch but actually meant, **_PERIL_**.

The Tolerians had wandered into a middle of pissing match, and they weren’t sure who to trust. In fact, she was pretty damn sure that they had debated about warping back to their borders.

“Leland?”  Cornwell repeated.

“Yes. His anticipated arrival is seventy-three of your minutes.  My grasp of your rank structure is poor, but I believe his Admiral outranks the Commodore, but you outrank them all. He wants Pike transferred to his ship upon his arrival. However, we explained to him--much to his displeasure--that we are only turning him and the Janus crew over to the Federation authorities at  Starbase 32. Can you please expedite your arrival?” Mikkos requested. “Break the laws of physics if necessary. If _we_ can hit warp 15.7 due to a tachyon burst, perhaps there is another wave out there somewhere.”

Another gesture.  **_Hurry._**

Cornwell said nothing and then Mikkos explained, “Perhaps there is one on the horizon **_now_**? We’re getting reports of strange increase in the number of tachyons in the area, perhaps you should ‘batten down the hatches’? Is that the term?”

Her vision shifted and she **_heard_** the Tolerian Doctor in her mind.

**_We do not know this Leland. But we know of Section 31 and their involvement in the Archimedes incident. We are prepared to fight if necessary, to prevent him seizing Pike. Please expedite your arrival through whatever means are necessary.  Bring Commodore April._ **

The Tolerians didn’t have Telepaths.  That was on their admission form to the Federation.   A low percentage of empaths, but no telepaths.

**_I thought you were just an empath._ **

Her vision shifted back and the Tolerian doctor quirked a crooked smile at her.

“Understood, I have verified that we have confirmed your findings. Thank you, Ambassador.”

The screen cut away and Saru protested, “I have no increase…”

“Commander, he was advising me that he knows the Federation has been experimenting with new Warp Technology and if we, amazingly, show up before Leland’s ship, they will turn a blind eye. Stamets, Airam, we need the spore drive, _now_. Rhys, I need you to reach out to Commodore Robert April at Starbase 32. Advise him that we need him on the Tolerian ship.”

* * *

 

 ** _Christopher, Christopher, what the hell have you done this time that made Control notice you?_** Leland pondered.  To his annoyance, Georgiou arrived. Sans puff of smoke for once, although that was her usual entrance.

“I rather doubt that they’ll turn him over to you. The Tolerians were always rather intractable, so I had to wipe them out. Pity, as they fought to the very last ship and then proceeded to blow up their various solar systems so they could die ‘Die Free’. Their Archon ritually disemboweled herself to atone for the shame.”

Expressive Eye Roll over the dramatics.

“If I could have earned their loyalty…,” she murmured. “What is so important about Pike anyway?”

She couldn’t hide her interest in the Discovery, its crew (Burnham) or its captain.

“Control says he's the key to a better future,” Leland stated.   Georgiou made a little noise that he had learned to realize meant something. “Did you know him where you came from?”

“He got his first command because he was a pretty boy. My advisers thought we should have someone handsome to represent the fleet, and people treated him as a pretty face.  I knew better,” she admitted.

“And what was he?” Leland asked.

“He was dangerous. He was bitter because no one treated him as anything other than a pretty boy who I used for my amusement, so he did anything to prove that he deserved his captaincy. When he was angry… he was magnificent… a true inspiration to the Empire. So many underestimated him, it helped weed out the idiots. He would leave a swathe of wreckage behind him. It was glorious.”

Leland barked a laugh because Georgiou was close to ecstasy.

“You’ve met this version?”  He asked.  He knew she had, but he was curious about her thoughts.

“Yes,” she hummed her approval. “He’s in much better shape than the Pike I knew… intimately.  He isn’t a drunk, for one. However, I’m pretty sure that people are fooled by his charming personality.”

“I know Christopher pretty well,” Leland stated.

“Ex?” Georgiou questioned pointedly.

“Jealous?” Leland retorted.

* * *

 

The center of this maelstrom had little awareness of the universal trouble he was causing. Instead he was being walked, not marched, to the Tolerian jail cell.  Vaya was strolling next to him, and there were four very serious, very large Tolerians providing the escort.  No obvious weapons, but still everyone gave them a wide berth.

“Oh, how rude of me, Chris.  This is Jomei, Huon, Hursi and Tyr. Tyr is Tye’s oldest son, and we simply refused to let him leave the family when it was time for him to be selected. They are the second line of the t’Kandranos clan.”

Each Tolerian nodded his head when his name was announced and that was it. Pike, being polite, greeted them.

“May I ask how Tyreena is?” Vaya questioned the Tolerians.  “She is the youngest of the t’Kadranos clan wives, Chris.”

Silence.

Vaya pouted. A literal pout.

“Still not part of the family?” Pike asked.

“I violated their trust,” the Tolerian explained. “It will take time to rebuild, if it can ever be rebuilt.”

They entered the holding area; Chris was scanned and the cuffs were removed. He was surprised when Vaya entered his two-bed cell and sat down on one of the beds. With a careless grace, Vaya kicked off his boots and made himself comfortable. The reason why became apparent when the grid went up and Pike groaned.

“Yes, you are correct. I’m remanded here also. The Archon is extremely annoyed with me, because I couldn’t save Rafael. She’s not supposed to have favorites, but he was one of her favorite husbands. Galen’s the other, but then again, Galen’s everyone’s favorite as he’s just so…  **_Galen_**. Steadfast and humble. And so very exotic looking.”

Pike raised an eyebrow and quipped, “After meeting the various senior spouses, I can see why she’d prefer Galen. So… Rafael was….?”

“My husband,” Vaya stated simply. “We didn’t want him to return to the Federation, but they said he had two more years to give them. They got their two years out of him… they bloody well did….”

Vaya swallowed once. He then sprawled out supine on his chosen bed and closed his eyes.

“Anyway, meal times in the brig are the standard times. We’ll have some breaks in the garden to mediate or walk. You can even drill me, again, on that Red Angel which I still don’t remember meeting or the formulas that I don’t remember scribbling down. The last thing I remember was… heading there so I could die watching the stars. Next thing I know, I’m in a medical pod.”

“What can you tell me about the formulas?” Pike questioned.

“There were several. The ones I can somewhat grasp involve the burn point coefficient for one of the metals we use in our torpedoes. Another would involve re-modulation of the shield frequencies to provide a wider shield diameter but the energy expenditure required is off the scale.  The last is one I hope Bryce is reviewing as it involved the arming mechanics of the mother of all multi-phase torpedoes.    Maybe they’ll let me have a Screen so I can work on the equations. I liked being an engineer.  I hated being a captain, and I hated being Prime.”

Pike exhaled. A long slow exhale. “You tell me half-truths all the time, Vaya.  Can I be sure that what you’re telling me about the equations, about what you saw is completely truthful?”

“I am the most decorated Prime in all of our history. Do you know why? It’s not because the Archon likes giving me pretty little pins, it’s because I have the blood of my people staining my hands and their deaths on my soul. I have been fighting the Breen since before your father met your mother and I have done things, terrible things, to keep my people alive to fight another day. I boarded your ship, not possessing any understanding of who you were or if you possessed any concept of honor. So yes, I did not give all of the truth, because you had not yet earned my trust. I had not earned yours, either.”

Vaya then rolled towards the wall. “I’m going to sleep now. Perhaps you should think about resting while you can; I’m sure the Universe is not quite done with you yet, Christopher.  Best be rested for your next adventure.”

“Is that supposed to be reassuring?” quipped Pike.

As far as brigs went, this was fairly comfortable. He had been in hotels that weren’t as nice.  He had a double bed and there was even a working water shower. No rats, and it smelled clean.  The bedding was fresh and there weren’t any creepy crawlies infesting the mattress. Thank God, there weren’t any spiders either as he hated spiders. Plus, Una wasn’t around to handle them. He hoped that whatever prison the Federation sent him to didn’t have spiders.

After a quick shower, he returned to his bed. He was drifting off to sleep when he saw **_HER_**. Again.

Big blue eyes, curly black hair. All too serious face. Maybe …. Five years old…. Maybe?

She pulled herself onto his bed and snuggled against him.

“You again?” he whispered. She nodded her head intently. “Why are you visiting me?”

She refused to answer.

Typical.

He detected a pattern with her which bode poorly for anyone that had to deal with her when she was older. If in fact, she was human.

“Are you actually a thousand-year-old space alien who is impersonating a little girl? So, when I fall asleep, you’re gonna suck my brains out?” He questioned.

Her face crumbled and he felt incredibly guilty because he wasn't as funny as he thought. 

“Look, for all I could know you could be a Talosian illusion. They really fucked with my brain a few years ago and sometimes I think they’re still out there, waiting for me to return.” He was unbelievably weary and he could barely keep his eyes open. “Just remember when you suck my brains out, you’re the only person to whom I’ve ever mentioned that fear.”

She bequeathed him a little girl kiss on his cheek and smiled at him. It was an oddly familiar smile that he knew from somewhere.

“Everything will be OK,” she stated in a far too serious voice for such a little girl… possible brain sucking alien.

“Just don’t turn into a spider, I don’t like spiders,” he explained.

“ ** _Promise_**.”

He was falling, falling, falling and when he was about to smack into the ground, he woke. To his relief, there was no little girl in the brig.  Instead, there was just Vaya, who was putting on his boots. 

“Good, you’re awake. Seems the Universe is requesting your presence,” Vaya informed him.

The Tolerian was wearing a formal uniform, bedazzled with assorted awards and ribbons. His long hair was pulled back and intricately braided. He was even wearing an intricate nose-earring chain with assorted clan medallions dangling from it.

“I see you’re back as Prime,” Pike stated. “That’s good, right?”

“The council removed my clan patch,” Vaya stated quietly.  “I thought I had accepted that my decision to rescue the Janus would render me clanless, but apparently, I… fooled… myself into believing I would be immune to the… pain… I had to lose everything in the hopes of saving my people.”

* * *

 

“Commodore April advises that he will be ready for our arrival. He also advised that he is bringing… the cavalry…” Rhys sounded perplexed but Cornwell smiled.

“Let me guess - Pike’s XO from the Enterprise, Drs. Boyce and April.” Cornwell stated, not as a question, but as a fact. “I’ll meet them in the transporter room. Black alert.”

* * *

 

 Tilly woke after a long nap. She heard Nessa being examined and Galen commented flirtishly about her little blue foot and about her lovely blue tail. Nessa was purring. Loudly.

So being a very good friend, Nessa pretended that she was asleep until she heard Nessa giggle.

“She’s awake!” Nessa announced cheerfully.

“Very well; Tyr, can you please take Nessa down to join the rest of her crew. You can carry her as I don’t want her putting any weight on her foot for the next day or so,” Galen instructed.

Nessa quickly departed, being carried off by a Tolerian Nessa had nicknamed, Tall, Dark and Lanky.

“I rather enjoy her,” Galen admitted with a fond smile.  He then turned serious and stopped smiling.  “You and I need to have a serious conversation about what is happening upstairs. Your Captain…”

Tilly interrupted, “He told them, didn’t he? About what happened between me and him.”

She was close to panicking and Galen put one hand on her shoulder to steady her.

“Yes. Among a litany of charges, he stated that he had nonconsensual sex with you as you were drugged and in no position to resist him. You and I both know that isn’t true, however charges like that will require an exam. They are assembling a Board of Inquiry on Starbase 32 even as we speak.”

“They’ll find out about…” Tilly put one hand over her belly.

“I’ve already done your exam, Tilly, and I have omitted…” he gestured towards her midsection. “When you required sedation when you first came on board? I performed the exam…. There were no physical markings consistent with a nonconsensual encounter. My suggestion is that you state that you have had the exam performed and that you are refusing another one.”

“Why did you do it?”  Tilly asked.

“You were exceedingly fearful, so much that I worried. If they insist on you enduring another exam, I will be able to fool their sensors. The method won’t hurt you or the baby.”

“Do it,” Tilly requested.  “I need to contact someone on the Discovery. But in such a way that it can’t be easily traced.”

“That’s easy,” Galen said.

* * *

 

Michael Burnham was at her station when she was pinged. A text message appeared on her station advising her that she had received a diplomatic message.

At first, she thought it was from Amanda, but then she reread the message envelope.

It had gone to Amanda first, who had then forwarded it on under the diplomatic seal which meant it was encrypted and secured. No one could read it. Officially. Unofficially, any encryption could be broken if one tried hard enough.

**TO: MICHAEL BURNHAM, CMDR USS DISCOVERY**

**FROM:  MIKKOS KRTI INDRARHJUN t’KANDRANOS, AMBASSADOR OF THE TOLERIAN EMPIRE**

**STARDATE: 1048.2**

**STATUS: DIPLOMATIC**

**_MICHAEL –_ **

**_HELP!_ **

**_Captain Pike is intent on destroying his career because of what happened on the Janus. They’re holding a Board of Inquiry to court martial him._ **

**_He thinks he’s protecting me, but he’s not._ **

**_HELP!_ **

**_TILLY_ **

“Commander Saru?” Michael stated. “Would you mind reviewing this finding for me?”

Saru’s eyes narrowed when he read the message. He nodded his head once before he spoke, “Advise her that the… cavalry...  has mounted. Have her determine if any of the Janus crew members should be… recruited… for this mission.”

Michael nodded her head and quickly typed back a response to Amanda.

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Fiona for going through this story and editing it. (Even Chapter six where I lost everyone)
> 
> And a BIG WOW goes out to Lj_Pynn who drew her version Dr. Nessa for me. Complete with hurt tail. 
> 
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/9bffa5baf7f9a6e8ab241abae329a1ba/tumblr_ptsp7yRnX31vczvwgo1_540.png
> 
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/40e82563d6ca5060eb990870a9dcce49/tumblr_ptsp7yRnX31vczvwgo2_1280.png

Back in the brig where we had left Christopher Pike.

* * *

 

“We’re burying Rafael,” Vaya informed Pike. “I understand that you are currently in the brig partially due to his death, but it was decided that you should attend.  The crew from the Janus will also be there. It’s not our way of doing this so quickly, but we want him buried before the Federation shows up. They want his body for an autopsy, and we will not give it to them. He has had two, he doesn’t need a third, especially as they will no doubt afterwards refuse to give him back to his family.”

Mikkos stood outside the grid and he held out a sash that was covered in assorted medals.

“I don’t want to wear that,” Vaya protested to the uncaring universe, and to Mikkos, who in this case, were one and the same.

“We’re wearing full formals thanks to you, Prime,” Mikkos stated dryly after the grid came down. “We’re having company, so out come the formals. At least your formals are more comfortable than mine, so stop complaining.”

“I jingle when I wear it,” protested Vaya, even as he struggled into it. And yes, he jingled. 

“Stop being a hero and you’ll stop getting medals,” was the mild suggestion. “And now this.”

Mikkos handed over an all too familiar device to Vaya, who twirled the mace with a practiced ease and tucked it under his left arm, and Pike protested, “You’ve got a _painstick_?”

“It’s actually a mace. It’s a traditional part of the Prime’s formals. It acknowledges our ancestors, where we came from, and how far we’ve come. It’s passed down from one Prime to another. Ship captains have something similar, but the Prime’s Mace is the largest.”

“The Breen gave me something similar… when they had me impersonate…” Pike stated slowly. 

For a moment, he was _drowning_ , as he remembered … utilizing a similar device on DelRosso until the officer had collapsed. His aneurysm had blown shortly afterwards and… and… **_he had killed DelRosso._**  

“I know, they twisted our traditions. It’s just ceremonial, not used for punishment.”

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly was a woman on a serious mission, to save one Christopher Pike from himself. She had two formidable allies, Ylsa and Nessa from the Janus crew, plus she had Michael on the Discovery. However, what to do, what to do? Times like this she needed copious amounts of espresso to help her thinking process, though Galen had informed her that she couldn’t have any espresso due to the baby. 

**_What I do for you, baby girl, I would do for no other._ **

They were meeting in Nessa’s quarters which was a converted closet located in the ship’s cargo hold that was housing the crew of the Janus. It was a nice closet, but still a bit on the small side. Well, maybe not for Nessa, who was also on the small side, but definitely for any guests of average size,

 ** _Plan of action - find out what a Board of Inquiry actually involves, what do they do, how can we help save Chris?_** An Inner Tilly mentioned. 

Her Inner Tillys were back, and no May to be heard. **_Huzzah_**!

**_We muzzled her and threw her in the closet with Mum and the Alternative Universe Chris.  May hates Chris and wants him in prison._ **

There were copious banging noises from the closet and the door rattled as though something large was trying to escape.

**_Don’t worry, we got this! She’s not getting out while Captain Dimples needs us!_ **

“We can’t have Nirav involved with this, as he’s just too honest. He won't be able to pull off what we need to do,” Tilly explained. “I know he’s your mate, Ylsa, but…”

“I like him the way he is,” the Deltan agreed easily. “Sweet and honest to a fault. Nessa, you’re senior among us, what do they do in a Board of Inquiry?”

The tiny blue doctor adjusted her braced foot for a moment until she was comfortable and her thoughts were collected.  

“This is all second hand information, from Emerson. DelRosso never really talked about his Board meeting, so I asked Emerson for information so I’d know what not to mention. Emmie said, three senior officers investigate the issue and charges.  Defendant is last to speak, so really, we have a very good opportunity to cause the inquiry to spin wildly off its axis before Captain Pike gets to speak.”

“How far off the axis do you think we can derail this?” Ylsa questioned.

“If we do it right, Pike will be getting medals,” Nessa explained.  “But we have to be careful how we state things. For example, DelRosso had a pre-existing head trauma from when he got clocked in the head with the piano bench by the Tellurite ambassador; it got reaggravated during the data spike. What Pike did may have hastened his demise, but it did not cause it.”

“Can you prove that?” Tilly questioned.

“I did the autopsy.” Nessa stopped speaking for a moment to repress her emotions, so Tilly squeezed her hand. “Galen did one also. He confirmed my findings. The Tolerians are interring DelRosso shortly, so his body is no longer available for autopsy.”

Her two co-conspirators appeared confused. 

“The bodies of the deceased are reconstituted back to their basic organic chemicals and then are placed in a memorial garden on deck twelve.  It’s very peaceful and pretty there, so the family often goes there to meditate. The food gardens are on another deck so there is no cross contamination. Besides, if anyone is to blame for DelRosso’s death, it is **_me_**.”

Ylsa and Tilly both protested even while Nessa shook her head.

“I performed the brain surgery to try to get his intracranial pressure down and the aneurysm blew then. It’s **_my_** fault. If I had been a better doctor, he’d still be alive.” Nessa said that quietly, and this time, she didn’t bother to hide her tears.

Tilly decided to change the topic to another charge. “Now, let’s talk about Devins and his squad’s death. They were sent to protect the computer core. The decision was to have Vaya in charge of that squad because Pike wasn’t sure about him, so he wanted that squad in a place where they believed that the Breen would send a bare minimum of their troops. Instead, the Breen sent forty troops against the four of the Janus crew and Vaya. Only Vaya survived as Devins and his squad died defending the data core.”

Long pause as both Ylsa and Nessa remembered Devins, the lanky security ensign. 

“I think we can safely state that Devins and his squad died big fucking heroes,” Tilly stated. “However, do we have any proof of these plans? We can’t access the data core, Nirav made sure that it’s been guarded since we left the ship. We can’t access it.”

Several data crystals were placed on the table by a tiny blue hand. The very unexpectedness of it caused Tilly to inhale, “Oh My God, are those the fuck I think they are? ** _How did you get those_**?”

For a moment, the old Nessa was back. Smirking and giggly, but it was only for a brief moment. 

“Those are copies of Rafael’s personal logs. His originals are on the data core, but those are his copies, plus I have additional copies hidden away just in case,” Nessa explained. “I got these from Vaya.”

The Deltan helmsman then piped in, “After the Archimedes and the Enterprise, DelRosso was compulsive about keeping copies of his personal logs and his reports.  Vaya found them as DelRosso hid them in Emerson’s clarinet case. When Singh swept the room for… stuff… he didn’t touch any of Emerson’s stuff. He just left all of Emerson’s things untouched.”

“DelRosso was very badly traumatized by the Board Inquiry on the Archimedes, so he ran a recording on everything.  Including him and Emerson playing music, which you heard when the Breen attempted to take over the ship,” Nessa stated.  “The Breen really hated “Bugle Call Rag” due to the percussion.”

 ** _He probably recorded all of his little mutiny attempts,_** Killy inserted. **_Hopefully, DelRosso noticed that Chris wasn’t acting like Chris. He no doubt commented on it. Find those meetings on the crystals and they can be used in the Inquiry hearing._**

“He probably recorded your little clandestine meetings then, where you were planning the mutiny?” Tilly prompted.

She earned head bobs from her squad.

**_HUZZAH!_ **

“DelRosso knew Captain Pike the best out of all the Janus crew; did he say anything about how he was acting?” Tilly prompted. 

Ylsa answered quickly, her eagerness to save Captain Pike caused the words to tumble out of her mouth. “DelRosso said that he knew Pike and that Pike wasn’t acting like Pike. He said that Pike was Starfleet, and the Breen had done something so Pike truly believed that he was a Tolerian of human ancestry.   I also remember him stating that Nessa was trying to scan Pike to determine what the Breens did to him. He made a couple comments, that after the Talosians, he thought Pike was unbreakable.  He also didn’t know how you, being a cadet, ended up with Captain Pike. He thought maybe your previous Captain had killed off his crew again? I can’t remember that Captain’s name but DelRosso really despised him. He also thought that the Breen had specifically brought you onboard to ensure Captain Pike behaved.”

 ** _Jotting that thought down!_**  An Inner Tilly announced.  **_Lots of good intel here! We can do it! We can save Chris!  We have someone who has reason to dislike Chris who admits that Chris wasn’t acting like himself._**

**_Wait – the Board may decide to dismiss it because of DelRosso’s injury._ **

**_I think if the logs are reviewed, they will prove that DelRosso was compos mentis._ **

“The Breen conditioning cracked after the incident with DelRosso, because Pike realized that he was DelRosso’s former Commanding officer,” Tilly inserted. “However, can we prove that the Breen conditioned him?”

“I have medical records on both of you. I can show proof of blood levels that match known conditioning agents. I can even show the rapid detox protocol I utilized on Captain Pike and the corresponding lab values,” Nessa offered.

Ylsa turned a very off shade of green, before she whispered, “Is that going to show how we repeatedly assaulted a senior officer?”

“What?” Tilly offered even as Nessa assured glibly that everything would be ok, as well, they had dropped Pike repeatedly only after he had broken her tail. Besides, Nessa had knocked out the Captain, Ylsa had only tried to assist him onto a biobed when they had dropped him.

Repeatedly.

**_There’s a story that’s obviously not for the faint hearted. How about we just skip it? So, say we all?_ **

**_SO SAY WE ALL!_ **

“How can they blame him for losing the Janus? What can we do to document what happened repair wise on the ship?” Tilly questioned

“Show them the entire engineering squad getting spaced,” spat Nessa. “They’re so comfortable second guessing everything, show them that. I don’t understand why there’s an Inquiry on this? Why is he insisting on being charged? He deserves a big fat medal or three for saving the Janus’ crew’s asses. And a party. He deserves a big party.”

Ylsa murmured her agreement and then questioned, “What other charges are there?”

 ** _You’ll have to tell them, so they can help Chris,_** the maternal Tilly whispered.

“C-c-chris… sorry… Captain Pike is being charged with multiple accounts of sexual assault in reference to our relationship,” Tilly whispered.

“Well, fuck me and paint me pink,” offered Nessa.

That unexpected colorful expletive caused Ylsa and Tilly to look at each other and struggle not to laugh. 

“Not helpful,” Ylsa finally inserted.  “That doesn’t match what I saw. You two were sharing quarters, but I never saw bruises or anything that seemed to suggest… that… He seemed to really care about you, and it was obvious that you were crazy about him. We need to discuss an action plan on this, were you two involved prior to the Janus?”

“ ** _No_** ,” protested Tilly.  Her voice was loud so Nessa gestured at her to lower her voice.  “I mean, I had a huge crush on him, because … seriously… who wouldn’t.”

“I don’t, he’s rather tall and pink,” offered a very discerning Nessa. 

“I have Nirav, and Nessa’s right – she’s got the Tolerian senior husbands in thrall. Four of them and she hasn’t had a single one in her bed,” Ylsa snickered. “Though have you ever read ** _I was a Tolerian War Lord’s Sex Slave_**?  It’s utter trash but supposedly, you’d get all the senior husbands plus the senior wife on your marriage night. The next night is the second tier until you run out of spouses.”

“Bitch,” snapped Nessa. 

“Honey, if you just wiggled your tail, they’d be lined up,” offered Ylsa even while Nessa murmured a tart reminder that **_hello_** , her tail was crooked and that she now had a profound limp. The Deltan then turned serious, and sighed. “Yes, he’s really hot especially in the Federation uniform that shows off that sweet ass of his. Don’t tell Nirav, please.”

 ** _And the shoulders! And the greying sideburns and THE DIMPLES!_** The Inner Tillys remarked.  _ **THE DIMPLES ON HIS FACE AND THE DIMPLES ON HIS ASS.**_

“Hello, **_focus_**?” Tilly interrupted. That was directed to the Inner Tillys and Ylsa also.

“Sorry. So quick overview – the Breen conditioned you two into thinking you were a bonded Tolerian pair complete with the unification tattoos,” Nessa murmured. “Those tattoos additons were really sneaky, because they probably distracted your inner eye from seeing the real you. It’s pretty apparent that it was a mutual agreement for you to have sex, right?”

Tilly nodded her head, and hoped her face wasn’t as red as she feared it to be.

“Then he’s doing it to protect you? Because sex between a senior and junior officer is pretty much a one-way ticket out of Starfleet?” Ylsa confirmed.

“You know, they conditioned you into believing that you were a Tolerian. Who’s to say that she didn’t just think they were having sex? Did you see them having sex?” Nessa questioned.

“No, but it was pretty obvious….” Ylsa paused when she realized that she was the recipient of Nessa’s evil eye. “Pretty obvious you weren’t because Pike was really out of it when he thought he was a Tolerian. You know, a splash of truth makes a lie much stronger.  In ** _I was a Tolerian War Lord’s War Bride,_** they claim that the wife is shared among the husbands.”

Nessa snorted, “Anyone want to tell the Archon that?”

“No, I want to live,” Ylsa insisted. 

“Do you have copies of those? I need some light reading material,” Nessa asked.   Ylsa explained that after Captain Pike had arrived on the Janus, the tawdry books had been loaned out to a crew member and she had no idea who now had any of the twelve volumes of the **_For the Love of the Tolerian Prime_** series **.**

“Pity,” Nessa commented dryly. “However, Tilly can claim she remembers having sex with DelRosso. Actually, Tilly, you can claim that you remember having sex with both DelRosso and Pike at the very same time. I suppose for added horror; you could always say Vaya was there too.”

Stunned silence.

“All those _personalities_ in the _same_ bed?” Ylsa choked.  “Besides, is Tilly comfortable lying under oath?”

“Honey, I’m thinking all those egos and penises, actually, with poor Tilly as the grateful recipient.” Nessa stated before she giggled. “Just think of all the different sexual techniques that would have been utilized on you.”

Tilly knew that she was the color of her hair. 

“I’m pretty sure Pike will claim that never happened, so Tilly can then say, if she remembers being a Tolerian of human ancestry, can her memories of having superb sex with Captain Hottie and DelRosso and half the Tolerian fleet be accepted as truth in the Inquiry? No, because I’m pretty sure DelRosso didn’t put that on his data crystals.”

“If I cause true doubt on the validity of my testimony regarding sex with Captain Pike, his testimony will be tossed out.  The only way they can prove it really happened is if a Janus crew member confirms with a **_recording_** that Chris and I had sex.”

“I was too busy having sex with Nirav to keep an eye out for you,” Ylsa admitted.

“Between my crooked tail and limp, I’ll never have a boyfriend,” Nessa whispered. “Since I don’t have a clan because they were killed when my homeworld was attacked, I’ll be alone and blue for the remainder of my life.”

“You’ll always have us,” promised Ylsa and Tilly.

“What’s going on?” Nessa asked, in an attempt to change the subject. “The crew is assembling around Singh.”

Lt. Nirav Singh was standing on a box surrounded by the few remaining survivors of the Janus. 

“Attention everyone, the Tolerians are having a service for Commander DelRosso,” Lt. Singh announced. “I’ve requested that Captain Pike be permitted to attend as we all know that Commander DelRosso’s death was a direct result of the Breen. So say we all!”

The crew yelled, “ ** _SO SAY WE ALL_** _!”_

“However, because Captain Pike has been charged and sentenced for an Inquiry, we will not be able to speak with him. However, Captain Pike is our Captain.  Captain Pike promised that he would get us home and he did. Remember that. When the Board talks to us, remember **_WHO THE HELL GOT US HOME! IT WAS PIKE! DELROSSO! VAYA!”_**

“ ** _PIKE! PIKE! PIKE! PIKE! PIKE!”_**  The remnants of the USS Janus crew chanted with assorted **_DELROSSOs_ **and **_VAYAs_ **thrown in.

Singh continued to incite the crowd. “And remember, when the Board talks to us, you remember Commander Liam Emerson.  Because it ain’t what you do…” he paused and held out his hand as though conducting the crowd.

**_“IT’S THE WAY THAT YOU DO IT!”_ **

And yes, Tilly heard her inner chorus yell.

“And Pike did it the **_Federation_** way! You cannot deny that, and we will not let the Board try to claim otherwise.”

Stomping of feet and loud cheering.

“Please tell me Nirav uses his oratorical skills for good,” Nessa murmured in true appreciation. “I’d forgotten how eloquent he can be.”

Singh motioned for the crew to settle down and so they did.

“As I explained earlier, their funerals are different than most of ours. If you feel you cannot respect their traditions due to your own beliefs, I request that you stay behind. We will have our own memorial service for Commander DelRosso on Starbase 32.”

Silence.

“And we’ll be closing the bar in honor of Commander Liam Emerson!” Singh shouted.

Loud cheers and whistles. 

 

* * *

 

The Human Whirling Dervish known as Commodore Robert April made a quick and expeditious arrival on the USS Discovery.

“You good, Sarah?” he asked, once his wife and he materialized onto the transporter pad.  Sarah had a phobia with transporting, so he always checked in with her immediately after rematerialization. His voice was soft and tender, which caused Kat Cornwell to do a double take. 

His wife nodded, though she appeared quite nauseous, and then Bob returned back to his usual volume. For the uninformed, Kat had heard warp engines that were quieter.  Much, much quieter.

“Ok, I’m Commodore Robert April, my better half is Dr. Sarah April, and those two tagalongs are the Enterprise XO and the Chief Medical officer. I’m guessing you’re Commanders Saru and Burnham. I’ve heard a great deal about you two.”

He nodded his head once and then stepped off the transporter pad. Time was a-wastin’ and he needed intel.

“Philip Boyce,” introduced the doctor. The XO was about to introduce herself when Bob began to talk.  The XO blinked her eyes in controlled annoyance and then shook her head. 

Bob began to speak in a rapid-fire manner. “Well, let’s get moving, Kat. What the hell is going on with Chris? What’s your opinion on his mental status as he doesn’t sound or look quite right to me? I need all the details on the Janus crew, who survived, who didn’t? I knew Tanaka so I’m sure she ran a tight ship, but if they’ve been out in deep space for six months with no senior officers and having been held captive by the Breen, God knows what condition those kids are in. I pulled every counseling teams in that I could so they’re waiting for them on Starbase 32, but any intel on why the Tolerians wanted to speak specifically with me?”

“Did you double confirm the names of the various captains on that vessel, because if the translation is correct, we’ve got the goddamn Tolerian High Council on board. Actually, if you’ve got the Archon, the Prime, their Lead Ambassador and their High Council, the entire Tolerian government is currently parked in Federation Territory after warping in at 15.7 in that goddamn monstrosity of a battle cruiser without so much as a by your leave. What the Sam hell was Chris thinking conscripting the Tolerian Prime as his executive officer? Then there’s the matter of Commander DelRosso. The Tolerians have informed Star Fleet that they, and not the Federation, will be burying him. The Janus doctor did the original autopsy then the Tolerian doctor did his own. If the Board wants another autopsy, we won’t be able to provide a body, so the charges could go either way on that.  And I want all the details on this Sylvia Tilly ensign including any recent psych evals. What I’ve read so far has me concerned.”

Both Saru and Burnahm attempted to politely defend Tilly as a capable officer, but Bob April just continued to talk and walk over their protestations. 

Bob continued, “Have you noticed if the Tolerian ships have moved any closer to our border? Deep space scans show they’ve got five cruisers sitting near our perimeter but they’re not packing the firepower of that ship that’s sitting there. They had some pretty vicious fighting with the Breen, and they drove them off, according to my sources.”

Commanders Burnham and Saru having not had the pleasure of meeting April appeared startled by Bob, the Human Bull Dozer. But Kat knew him quite well, and knew that Bob’s overclocked mind was busy deconstructing the problem on how to Rescue Christopher Pike from Christopher Pike.  He was like a bird hound on a scent, fixated on solving an issue. It made him both a great officer and a bad one, as sometimes he couldn’t let things go. 

“If you’ll follow me,” Kat requested as she handed Bob four data PADDS.  Sarah, Phil and Una got two for their own perusal. “That’s the strategic intel, including what we know of the Tolerians. Sarah, Phil and Una, you’ve got everything we have on the Janus crew, plus Ensign Tilly. Let me get you situated, so we can jump to meet the Tolerians. Who’s on the Board of Inquiry?”

“You know I’m not supposed to tell you,” barked Bob.  So, Kat looked at Bob’s wife even as they strode to Pike’s ready room. It was an odd relationship but Sarah’s calming presence kept Bob functioning and more importantly, alive as more than one of his former XOs had wanted to cram a PADD down his throat. 

Not that Kat knew that from personal experience. 

**_No._ **

**_Not at all._ **

“Giseo, Tovan and Garan,” Sarah announced. “They’re reasonable and will deal with the facts.”

“A Caitian, an Andorian, and a Teluarite?”  Saru noted. “That is an odd combination.”

“Yes, we’re trying to make this Inquiry completely transparent. None of them have ever worked with Chris in any sort of capacity which is pretty damn hard at this level. However, they’ve been sequestered on the Starbase; they’re not even hearing any rumors.  They don’t even know who it is they’re sitting in judgement on.  What’s the crew’s reaction to the news? How are they handling it? Do I need to talk to them?”

That was Bob. Some people might get fooled by Bob’s thunder, but he cared deeply about his crew. Chris was still **_HIS_** crew, which meant Chris’ adopted Discovery crew was Bob’s crew too.

Cornwell spoke quickly, “They know that it is standard procedure after a ship has been lost that there is a Board of Inquiry, especially as there were several deaths after Chris took over the Janus. However, I have not permitted the entire list of charges to be released.”

Bob barked a laugh, “So what you’re not telling me, Kat, is they’d follow him into Hell and back again when he decides to kick down the doors of Hades for shit and giggles.  You haven’t told them everything but you think they’d react poorly. Amazing change in the Discovery crew, considering the reports on the ship’s personnel after Lorca shredded them.  I didn’t think Captain V’las would have worked with this crew, not at all.”

V’las had been the new Captain who had been waiting for the Discovery to arrive on Vulcan. 

Reports had it that he was still on Vulcan, waiting for a ship, any ship.

“I beg your pardon?” Saru asked even as the long-suffering Boyce made a gesture that said, _Don’t bother. He won’t answer._

“Chris does tend to create strong bonds of loyalty,” Cornwell murmured.  “I’ll put you into the Captain’s ready room for now.”

“Well, you should at least give Commanders Saru and Burnham that information, because if looks could kill, not even Sarah and Phil could save my Texas ass right ‘bout now,” Bob admitted with an easy chuckle. “Chris is lucky to have you two backing him up on the Discovery.”

His wife shook her head, in an exasperated but still fond gesture that spoke of their long partnership.

“I will as soon as I get you and your team settled in Chris’ ready room,” Cornwell promised,

* * *

 

They had forty minutes before Leland arrived, but Kat wasn’t ready to cut it too close. She trotted back towards the bridge while Burnham and Saru trailed behind her. However, Saru’s long legs soon outpaced her and he stopped dead in front of her, requiring her to stop.

“Admiral,” Saru inserted, his voice quite concerned. “Why was Ensign Tilly’s name brought up repeatedly by the Commodore?”

“And what are the exact charges that Captain Pike is currently facing?” Burnham asked. 

Cornwell ensured that they were in a private space before she spoke.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed that Captain Pike has a very strong moral center,” Kat explained. “In times like this, it is a both a good and bad thing. He created a literal laundry list of charges of his supposed violations of accepted policies and procedures and he has requested a review by the Board of Inquiry. For example, on the list is a review of the loss of the Janus. Yes, I know he didn’t arrive until six months after they were captured, but he was the captain when it was abandoned.”

She continued to detail the charges, including the various deaths, and injuries of assorted crew members. Then came the last one. Kat took a deep breath and then calmly stated, “He stated that while on the Janus, he had a nonconsensual sexual relationship with Sylvia Tilly…”

“Are you stating that Captain Pike raped Tilly?” Saru stated.  His ganglions flared and he didn’t notice. Kat did, and she noticed that his hands had immediately flexed. The Kelpien was thin and gangly, but Kat had no doubt that an enraged Saru would be a very dangerous opponent. 

“Captain Pike?”  Burnham repeated. “ ** _Captain Pike_**. I cannot believe that he would ever do **_that_** to Tilly.”

“Our understanding is that something happened when the Breen captured the two of them. Chris was indoctrinated into believing he was actually a Tolerian of human decent, and…  he claims he had repeated sexual intercourse with Ensign Tilly when she was not able to consent to it. He isn’t just claiming it, he believes it. The number of occurrences he’s claiming, make it a Level Seven offense.”

Burnham’s arched eyebrow hit her hairline and Saru took several deep, calming breaths. Then several more for additional benefit.

“I do not believe it,” he stated firmly. “I have only known Captain Pike personally for a short period of time; however, I do not believe he is capable of **_rape_**.”

“If they were drugged by the Breen, sex may have occurred between him and Tilly,” Kat stated. “It may have happened the way he believes it has, but I have my doubts.”

* * *

 

The internment services for Raphael DelRosso were held in a lush and green garden. The climate was similar to a rainforest due to the humidity, plus there were assorted colorful birds flying through the air, Chris noticed. They stood in the corner of the room, while a hundred or so Tolerians stood on one side of the plot, while the Janus’ crew stood on the other. 

“On our first ship, I insisted that we have a room like this, so we could plant flora from our home world.  My world was beautiful, until the Breen turned it into an arid wasteland. The clans didn’t have enough firepower to defend the planet, so instead they evacuated as many as they could. That’s how I met Bryce and Mikkos as we were in the same sept of orphans. There were so many orphans, as there weren’t sufficient resources to take their parents.”

Pike nodded his head. 

He had been advised not to speak to anyone, as the Tolerians had decided to bend the rules just enough so he could attend.  Pike hadn’t been too sure about the propriety of him being present but he had been advised that Singh had requested that he be permitted to attend. Therefore he was there. 

Several of the Janus personnel had noticed him and had saluted, which he had returned.  Tilly’s bright red hair had stood out among the Janus crew, but he had tried to avoid looking for her.  Though, he had noticed that she was still wearing that entirely too large uniform top. 

The Archon led the service and Vaya translated for Pike. 

“And so, we return our brother Raphael back to the elements of creation so his soul will continue to be part of everlasting cycle of rebirth.”

That done, the four wives of the t’Kandranos clan poured the remains into the earthen pit.

“The husbands will now till and seed the soil. It is now time for nonfamily to leave, as the clan will wish to mourn in private. It’s now time for us to go back to our prisons. You have the brig, I have the bridge.”

* * *

 

Cornwell confirmed that Stamets was ready for the next jump.  That done, she instructed Rhys to send out on all frequencies who they were and that they were meeting the Tolerians per their request.

“They seem uneasy, best not set them off. Black alert.”

The ship jumped and landed next to the Tolerian ship.

“That’s a big ship,” Keyla mumbled to Owo. Owo nodded her head in agreement, and Rhys announced, “We’re being hailed, Admiral.”

“On screen,” Kat announced even as she heard the turbo lift door open behind her. “Hello, this is Admiral Cornwell, are you the Tolerian Prime, Vayalimirte t’Kandranos?”

“I am Vaya, Tolerian Prime,” the Tolerian admitted.  He had dressed to impress as he seemed to wearing every medal ever awarded to him, including his grammar school perfect attendance medal.

“Kat, let me talk to him,” Bob requested as he strode on the bridge.  “Vaya, it’s Bob. First of all, let me express the Federation’s sincerest thanks for rescuing our people from the Breen.  I’ve seen the reports on you, so I feel pretty comfortable saying, let’s cut to the chase, and we can lie to everyone how we dazzled each other with the political minutiae of our respective governments.”

The Tolerian appeared to smile but with his impressive canines, Cornwell wasn’t sure. He might have been hungry.

“Vaya, you pulled me out here, so I’m here.  I want to see the crew of the Janus first, then Pike and then I’ll talk to you. My suggestion is you let me and my team transport to your ship, and the Admiral here can escort us to the Starbase. I want to be out of this sector before the rest of the ships arrive to ruin our party. You wanted to deal with me; they’ll be a needless complication.”

“Agreed. I’ll advise the Archon and the High Council,” Vaya began.

“No, I’m talking to you first. You broke with your government to rescue Federation personnel, knowing full well that by doing so you could have started a full-fledged war between the Breen and your people.  That either means that you’re crazy confident in your abilities, or the situation is pretty dire. Therefore, I talk to _you_ first, as Pike said that you were the one that requested me.  When I’m happy, then I talk to the politicians. You probably noticed, I’m not good with the political bull shit. Please send the transporter details to my people and I’ll be there shortly. I’m bring over a few people with me. Commanders Burnham, Una and Saru, plus Drs. Boyce and April.”

Commander Saru turned to face Commodore April who then said goodbye to Vaya. That done, Bob apologized for poaching Saru. 

“Commander Saru, you’re an expert on first contact. I want you to forget everything you have ever possibly known or thought about the Tolerians. I need you to focus on the Tolerian Prime. I need you to analyze him and tell me who exactly what type of individual I’m dealing with. I don't know who could have pulled off infiltrating enemy territory to rescue a ship that wasn’t even his, solo, nor do I know most importantly why he did so. Analyze him, figure out what makes him tick, and find out, carefully, why he’s not wearing any clan badges. Looks like they were recently removed. Burnham, you’re coming with us so you can report back to the Discovery on Pike and Tilly.”

Burnham smiled and stated her thanks which earned her a head bob.

“Don’t thank me. If I didn’t do it, Admiral Cornwell would have told me I was doing it. Kat, when are we anticipating the arrival of Leland?”

“Twenty-two minutes,” Cornwell stated. “We’ll be long gone by then and we won’t leave a forwarding address.”

“Excellent. Let’s go, Commanders. Una will give us a briefing on what we’re anticipating once we’re over there.”

* * *

 

“So, you managed to get Robert April on our ship,” Galen stated as they waited by the transporter.  “I am beyond impressed.”

“I’m sorry I had to ask you to leave the wake, but he has several doctors with him,” was all Vaya stated, even as he prayed to Mother Space to let this plan work. Surely April would see the danger of the Breen **_now_**.

“I appreciate the break. The amount of raw grief in the room was difficult to suppress,” the doctor murmured.  “The Archon wished to inform you that she anticipates a full report before she meets with April.”

Vaya nodded.

“Incoming,” announced the transporter chief. Vaya nodded and he exhaled slowly, calmly. He placed his hands behind his back and straightened his posture. Be an equal, not a supplicant. 

* * *

“Commodore April,” a heavily accented voice greeted them when they materialized.  “It is an honor, Commodore as your reputation is formidable.”

“Prime, coming from the Tolerian who managed to infiltrate Breen space and rescue my people, I think you might be mistaken on who has the more formidable reputation among us,” Bob drawled.  “I think we’ve covered the political subtleties required; in case anyone asks. Let’s get down to business, we need to get your ship to the Starbase 32 as quickly as possible.”

“Then let us put our hair down and talk freely,” offered the Prime. “You drink whiskey?”

Bob ran his hand through his fresh crew cut, glanced at the Prime’s long fishtail braid, and admitted, “Once again, I find myself at a disadvantage with you, Prime. And yes, whiskey is a particular favorite poison of mine.”

The Tolerians ceased talking and they just blinked their eyes in rapid succession.

“The Commodore is from Texas, so he just agreed that his drink of choice is whiskey. I’m Dr. Sarah April, I can translate the Commodore for you as necessary,” explained one of the women.  She then quickly introduced the Federation personnel.  As Saru was the first Kelpien the Tolerians had ever seen, he earned a very long appraisal. 

“This is Galen t’Kandranos, he is the Head Healer. He has provided detailed exams on the crew of the Janus. He also performed a second autopsy on Rafael DelRosso. If we can start moving, I’ll take you to the crew of the Janus?” Vaya offered as he exited the transporter room.

“There’s some confusion, I’m afraid. We wanted DelRosso’s body so we could have our team perform the autopsy,” Bob stated.

“He has been returned back to the cycle of creation. Among our people, we do that as quickly as possible.  We felt there was no need for a third autopsy when both autopsies done by the Federation and Galen both matched,” Vaya explained as they walked briskly down the corridors.

“We have specifically trained staff that should have done the autopsy. It’s not part of the normal curriculum for doctors to perform.  Boyce and my wife have been trained,” Bob quietly stated.  “We specifically requested that his body be held.”

“Dr. Nessa has performed sixty-three autopsies in the last six months,” Galen quietly inserted.  “On Human and Breen alike, the vast majority of which were her friends.  I reviewed her work, and she is quite accomplished in her skills and summation. I found no fault in her autopsies. Her work on my husband was impeccable and I advised the Archon that a third autopsy was unnecessary as it would further defile his body. The Federation took him from us and we decided, enough. He will remain with us now until the creation cycle is overturned.”

The Federation side-eyed one another while Bob nodded his head. The tension between the two parties, never truly resolved, cranked up a notch or four, much to Burnham’s concern.

“Point taken,” he stated. 

The Federation realized quickly that were a great many people in the corridors, including many small children who gaped in amazement at Saru. One brave soul even ran up to touch Saru and then ran off after he had successfully counted coup. The small boy loudly exclaimed something to his embarrassed mother.

The mother began speaking in Tolerian and Vaya laughed merrily. And even Galen smiled, which caused the tension to ease.

“Please accept the apologies of the boy’s mother. He was quite excited to touch an actual alien. We’re quite overcrowded at the moment. We currently have five Tolerian crews on board plus the Janus crew. During one of our last battles, we lost several ships which required complete evacuation. Commander Saru, his mother is most insistent that her son apologize to you.”

“It is not necessary,” protested Saru. “I understand that I am the first Kelpien they have seen.”

“We insist,” Vaya quietly stated. “You are our guests. You are not an oddity brought in to amuse the children.”

“Very well,” Saru agreed easily.  He knelt down towards the child’s level and the young boy spoke rapidly. Then Saru deliberately touched the young boy with one long finger. “We are even now for I have touched you.”  Galen translated thatinto Tolerian which caused Vaya’s smile to broaden.

The boy, stripped of his bravery, clung to his mother and the mother smiled.

* * *

 

“You’re not eating your noodles,” Nessa informed Tilly. They were sitting at the communal table in the Janus’ area where dinner had just been served. The blue doctor then slurped her noodles down with an obscene gusto. “Eat up, or if you want, I may have some algae packs.”

Tilly’s stomach rebelled at the thought of algae.

“Did they leave the hot sauce?” Tilly asked.  Her stomach informed her then and there that it wasn’t tolerating any hot sauce.  Or Tolerian Noodles, which yesterday, it had wanted so desperately. And it was a big Fuck No on the algae packs.,

Singh dropped his chopsticks in his plate and turned a sickly white. So maybe it wasn’t Tilly’s tummy, but in fact the food that was causing her issue. 

 ** _“COMMODORE ON DECK_** ,” he roared, which caused the entire Janus crew to stop eating and stand in place.  There was a loud explosion of noise as everyone dropped their utensils, several plates and moved chairs in order to stand. 

“At ease,” drawled a male voice. “Please, go back to eating. I’m Commodore Robert April, and we’re here to get you folks home. Lt. Singh, I’ve heard nothing but good things about you, so it is an honor to make your acquaintance. I’m guessin’ that the Ensign with the auburn hair is Ensign Tilly? I’ve got some officers from the Discovery...”

Tilly turned to face the Commodore and … her heart jumped.

“Commander Saru… Commander Burnham…” she whispered. 

* * *

 

Christopher Pike sat in the brig, alone with his dark thoughts. He obsessed and brooded on recent events and how it was Talos IV all over again.  Vina first, then Sylvia. What was it with Aliens fucking with his brain? Why couldn't he deal with Aliens that had no interest in sexual reproduction. There must be a couple races out there that budded or cloned or morphed . 

He ignored the tap on the grid to let him know that he had company because he just wasn’t in the mood.  

“Is it that bad, Chris?” asked a familiar voice after the grid went down.

“Phil?” Chris questioned as that voice only belonged to Phil Boyce.

Phil sat down next to Chris and nodded his head. 

“The one and only. I even brought Bob along though I told him that I wanted to see you first.  He pissed and moaned, so I pulled rank on him,” Phil admitted cheerfully. “I love when I get to do that to Bob. It’s one of the great joys of my life because it’s so rare, but oh so satisfying. I’m here, I’ve heard a lot but I want to hear it from you. What is going on?”

“It’s… Talos IV… again… this time… they drugged me… and…” Chris sputtered and ceased talking. At last, he continued, “I need you to do … the Exam on me…. and Ensign Tilly… for the Board of Inquiry. It wasn’t… consensual… as she was in no state…. to refuse… and I… I… fucked her. Repeatedly…. so… I need you to check… to make sure my implant is still good. I know...”

Chris tapped his head.

“I know…” he continued. “That you updated it before I left… the Enterprise… but everything is just so… muddled. Check me, Phil. Make sure I have an active contraceptive implant.”

Phil waved his tricorder over Chris, noted the accelerated heartbeat, the elevated stress hormones and a thousand other issues that he needed to resolve quickly. 

But there was no implant.

He had implanted it himself before Pike had left for the Discovery, complete with a saucy comment about it needing to be done due to Chris’ dimples. 

“Chris…” Phil couldn’t finish his statement before Chris stood. 

“I have to tell her,” Chris insisted. “I have to tell her.”

 


	28. 28

**_Oh my God_** , was Chris’ panicked thoughts when he realized that he wasn’t sterile, that his implant had been removed by the Breen.  He thought of all those sex-full **_days_** and **_nights_** with Tilly and… he had told her that his implant was current. _**The Breen had wanted me to get you pregnant, so they'd have another way of controlling me.**_

**_What had Sylvia said?_ **

**_She said, don’t worry. Galen confirmed everything and said that I’m good for the next eight or nine months. There’s no possible way I could get pregnant. After that, I have to get the shot again._ **

**_Yet, Chris, there is something in the way she holds herself now, the way she looks…  You know her biblically, Chris. You know all her trigger points, her stressors and her strengths.  What aren’t you seeing? What is she hiding behind that too large uniform top?_ **

**_Is she just using it to shield herself from you? Or is it really because that was the closest uniform they had in her size?_ **

**_No, no, no. If I had gotten her pregnant, she would tell me. I hope that she would. We would sit down to have an honest talk and figure out what to do. She’d be terrified and I would be… supportive and approachable...  and I’d listen to what she had to say. I wouldn’t try to fix it…_ **

**_But she’s hiding something._ **

“I have to tell her,” he repeated. “I told her it was current.”

**_We talked about having kids, that we’d wait until we were back in Federation territory so we could be in a good space to start trying. I told her… that I wanted to make our relationship Federation binding… but it was all based on the fucking drugs._ **

“Christopher Pike, sit your ass down,” Phil Boyce growled. “Do you honestly think that they’re going to let you talk to her? Now sit your ass down, and let me look you over.”

**_Oh God, I don’t know what to do. I need to talk to her; I need to tell her…  I don’t know what to do, how to protect her except to take the blame for this.  I just look back and see how I was the one that kept wanting sex, that just kept pushing the issue… until she came to my bed. She kept asking how to make me happy, what I wanted._ **

**_She was scared of the Breen. She wanted my protection so she’d do anything for it._ **

Chris sat down, or perhaps it might be more truthful to say that he collapsed, and Phil continued to scan him.

“Now, you understand that I’m not supposed to tell you anything so I’m not,” Boyce smiled as he said that which translated into Boyce was doing whatever the hell he wanted to do, damn the consequences. “The ensign…”

“Ensign Tilly,” Pike interrupted. His voice was… exhausted. “Her name is Ensign Tilly. She will be addressed as such. Not as ‘The ensign’ or ‘her’. You will use her name and rank as Ensign Tilly does not deserve to be further marginalized, or otherwise lessened or cheapened. Are we in agreement on that, Phil?”

Boyce nodded his head, slowly. He had been Chris’ sounding board and confidant long enough to know that Chris **_needed_** to protect the young ensign. In any way he could manage.  “Of course, Chris. I meant her… Ensign Tilly…no disrespect. I would not dare to marginalize or otherwise negate the trauma Ensign Tilly had been through.”

“Endured. The correct term you are looking for is **_endured_** ,” was Chris’s retort.

“Chris, Ensign Tilly already had the exam you’re requesting. It was done by the silver haired pretty boy Tolerian doctor when Ensign Tilly first came on board.” Boyce shook his head.

“ ** _What_**?” Pike asked.

“And… they also have a full exam of you on file.”

“I don’t remember that,” Chris admitted. He remembered talking to Galen and… “Shit, I was unconscious. He must have done it then. They didn’t tell me.”

Boyce barked a laugh. “You were in Tolerian space, on a Tolerian battle cruiser, being seen by a Tolerian medic.  What part of them ignoring Federation regs they didn’t like, don’t you get? They’ve dealt with the Breen, they realized that something was really wrong, so they did a full exam to know what they were dealing with. On the positive side, they didn’t pitch you out the airlock, so nothing in either of your exams confirmed what you claimed happened.  Most importantly, if Ensign Tilly is or was pregnant, it would be on the report. I reviewed the records, she’s not. Her shot is listed as current and it was checked.”

Chris closed his eyes and explained, “Still, there are many different ways of coercing sex from a junior officer. Most do not require me to beat the living shit out of her or leaving her with an assortment of …. mementos….”

Pike stopped then and swallowed.

“I… hounded… her… pressured her…until she…capitulated…and we…” he stopped as his mind kept racing in circles. “Ensign Tilly will have to go through the exam again, won’t she?”

He grimaced. Damn it, that meant scans and **_pictures_** … discussions where she would have to relive the trauma and rip open any healed wound.

“No, because Ensign Tilly has already flatly refused and the Tolerian medic got pissed because Bob wanted Sarah or me to redo the exam. He meant well, but Ensign Tilly has been traumatized enough and she has decided to trust only Galen. You can’t blame Ensign Tilly for not wanting either Sarah or me to do the exam. Doesn’t know us, doesn’t trust me for good reason because I’m a friend of yours. Bob managed to torque the Tolerian medic by being Bob, so that meant the Tolerians got their braids in a bunch. Sarah’s working on smoothing over the situation. Our Tolerian friends are very protective of females, I’m noticing?”

“Got that right, however Galen’s the closest to sane of the senior t’Kandranos line. He’s the anchor of the senior family members from what I can tell, so getting him angry means trouble,” Chris then groaned. “What happened? And while we’re at it, can someone explain to me how the Head of their government, their senior most General and their lead ambassador are all married to each other?”

“I’m a doctor, Chris, not a xeno-political scientist. Federation wanted another autopsy on DelRosso. The Janus Doctor,” and Boyce made a bird call.

This caused Chris to protest, “Am I the only one that can’t pronounce Nessa’s real name?”

“Anyway, Nessa did the first autopsy, and then Galen did his own autopsy. Bob, just being Bob and extremely thorough, wanted people who weren’t emotionally connected with DelRosso to do the official autopsy. Reasonable, yes, but Galen thought Bob didn’t trust him or …  Nessa, so he got his hackles up. Told Bob that Nessa has done sixty fucking three autopsies in the last six month and that he had reviewed them, and she did quality work.”

Boyce leaned back and exhaled. Loudly.

“That kid, barely done with her residency, has done sixty-three autopsies in six months, Chris. How the hell did she remain sane?”

“When everything around you is insane, insanity becomes the norm,” Chris stated. “She’s extremely tough though she looks anything but.”

“I trust you swiped her for the Enterprise?”

“Of course, I tried for Ylsa and Singh also. I want Una to mentor Ylsa and Singh and you’ll have Nessa. However, if you two get drunk and arrested, I’m not bailing you out.”

* * *

 

Sometime later.

“Hello,” said the young lieutenant as he came into the room. Behind him was a Deltan ensign, and a blue doctor who was being carried by a strapping young Tolerian.  There were two older Tolerians who were behind him and one commented, “Don’t be a showoff, Tyr” when the Queen of Sheba.. err Nessa…. was placed in a comfy chair with a soft pillow and her injured leg was placed just so.

“I was asked to be here?” the lieutenant stated. He seemed uneasy at the sheer volume of rank that permeated the room.  There was an Admiral, two Commanders, possibly three depending on Vaya’s current conscription status with the Federation, a Lt. Commander, several doctors of various hair colors, white, silver, salt and pepper, black and blue plus his mate, Ensign Ylsa.  Plus, there was… lunch… on the table.

Number one, the extremely capable XO of the USS Enterprise motioned for him to take a seat, “Since you and Prime Vaya have arrived, we can call together the meeting of current and former XOs, CMOs and other assorted Bridge officers of Christopher Pike. Introduce yourself and let’s keep it to just first names, please. This is one of those meetings that never ever happened.”

Roll call was simple.

Nirav, Una, Phil, Sarah, Saru, Michael, Nessa, Galen, Ylsa, Vaya, Tracy, as Dr. Pollock had sneaked onboard the ship as Tilly was HER crew,  HER patient, thank you very much, a very soft spoken, “Sylvia” and a very much unexpected “Kat”.  The Janus crew froze in position when Admiral Cornwell introduced herself merely as Kat.

The Admiral otherwise known as Kat said, “I’ll be quick and to the point. I anticipate that everyone in this room will work towards saving Chris from himself. Now, I’m leaving as I know nothing about this meeting, nothing at all. You three can relax as I’m leaving.”

Cornwell left the meeting and then Sylvia inserted quickly. “For the record, I was **_not_** raped by Captain Pike.”

Michael Burnham reached for Tilly’s hand and squeezed it. Tilly squeezed back just as hard, if not harder.

“I would have killed him if he had,” Vaya stated easily as he leaned back in his chair.  He ignored the horrified looks from the Federation crew, and sniffed, “Tolerian space, Tolerian laws, Tolerian punishment. Anyway, the noodles will get cold, so everyone eat. Please hand this to Ensign Tilly.  I know you have some sensitivity to our spices, so it’s rather bland. Come, come eat; as Prime I’m responsible for ensuring all visitors get fed. We have standards of hospitality that must be maintained. Pity this is a working meeting, else I would bring out the liquor.”

Vaya began to pass round the plates and the Enterprise and Discovery crew looked concerned at what they were handed as the noodles were a very vivid purple. Meanwhile the Janus crew was busy chowing down as they much preferred noodles over algae any day..

“Captain Pike was drugged heavily by the Breen. At no time did sex occur between Captain Pike and myself. Nonconsensual or otherwise,” Tilly explained.

It wasn’t a lie, they never had sex. Never. She and Chris had made love, which was **_different_**. He had been sweet and affectionate...and… and...

“Ensign Tilly, that is not what Chris believes, nor is it what he is currently saying,” Boyce stated. “Chris is quite insistent on that fact.”

“Captain Pike came onto the Janus believing that he was a Tolerian War Lord who had been enslaved by the Breen. He did not recognize Commander DelRosso even though the Commander was one of his former Bridge officers on the Enterprise,” Tilly stated. “Captain Pike’s recollection of said events may not be realistic or reliable due to the Breen’s treatment.”

“Agreed,” inserted Nessa. “I’m Doctor” – Loud bird chirping noise that ended with a trill. “For those who are linguistically challenged, I answer to Dr. Nessa. Captain Pike had no idea who Commander DelRosso was until after Commander DelRosso had brain surgery.”

Nessa’s lip trembled, and then she continued, “Ylsa and I can confirm that. At that time, I took immediate action to regain command of the ship under Federation control by physically overpowering the captain so I could attempt to break the conditioning.”

Boyce barked a laugh and the Discovery crew looked doubtful. From their viewpoint, Nessa was just a small, blue species who talked a great game.

“Oh, ye of little faith, let me show you how I’m constantly underestimated by tall, pink species such as yours.”

Nessa demonstrated a tongue slap on Phil Boyce. One direct blow to the forehead of her doubter which echoed in the room. The impact caused the doctor to flip his chair. Backwards. There was one lone booted leg on the table and the rest of Boyce was out of view.

“ ** _Fuck me, that hurt_** ,” roared Boyce even as Saru and Burnham nearly spat out their tasty noodles in shock.

“Understand Dr. Boyce, that I am currently not at my best as I am recovering from very savage crush injuries to my foot and my tail. Once I’m better, I can demonstrate again at **_full strength_** , if you have any doubts about my statement. Anyone else care for a demonstration? Now, since this meeting really hasn’t occurred, I can’t be charged for striking a fellow officer. Though it would be classified as a demonstration.”

The little blue doctor bequeathed her victim a benevolent smile, full of bright shiny canines even while Sarah April questioned Boyce, “How many fingers am I holding up, Phil?”

“Forty-seven,” he murmured. “She’s not working for me on the Enterprise unless she wears a muzzle.”

“He’s concussed,” Sarah announced to the startled audience. “Seriously, Phil, you doubted her. She just proved you wrong. She could have easily knocked out Chris if she wasn’t holding back.”

“You’re not demonstrating the ability of your tail,” Galen inserted, even as Phil slowly pulled himself back into the upright position. “It’s not healed enough for you to show off.”

“Very well then, if I can continue my story, once I had physically overpowered Captain Pike, Ylsa and I placed him on a biobed,” she continued while Ylsa murmured, “We dropped him repeatedly and dislocated his shoulder!”

“There were some … difficulties… getting him on the bed as well, he was unconscious, and we are small, dainty souls.”

Boyce barked another laugh which everyone ignored, discretion being the better part of valor.

“But we persevered as that is what we in the Janus crew do,” Nessa explained. “Here’s the blood work. If Dr. Boyce would be so kind, please explain the readings for those who are not familiar with the terminology.”

Nessa smiled once more even as she mouthed, “ ** _MUZZLE_**? Muzzle this.”

Boyce nodded once and then began addressing the key portions of the defense, including Chris’ elevated blood levels, the positive blood tests for various Breen drugs and a laundry list of other items.

“I thought the data core was sealed and offline?” Una asked before they reviewed DelRosso’s personal log.

“It is,” Vaya assured her.

“How did you get copies of his personal log then? The defense is supposed to request it. I’m concerned that if anyone discovers we have these logs, the data core evidence may be viewed as contaminated. We will lose our advantage then,” Saru questioned.

Vaya leaned back in his chair and stated, “After the Archimedes, DelRosso lost his faith in the Federation. He wanted to ensure that if anything happened to him, his crew would be protected from the Board of Inquiry. These are copies that he left for me to find.”

“He left his personal logs for **_you_**?” Burnham questioned.

“He married into our clan, Commander,” Galen inserted into the conversation. “Vaya and Rafael were quite close, so yes, Rafael would have left them for him because Rafael never lost faith in Vaya.”

Vaya closed his eyes and whispered, “Thank you, brother.”

There was silence as Vaya composed himself.

“Yes, so if his logs accidentally … corrupted… there would be still be these.  I understand that… most if not all… of the Archimedes logs were hit by… a virus… leading them to be… unusable for the Inquiry?” Vaya stated.

“What happened on the Archimedes?” Tilly questioned. It seemed that she was the only one in the room that didn’t know what happened on that ill fated ship.

“It’s… classified,” Number one stated. “I’m surprised the Tolerians know about it.”

“He had night terrors from the experience,” Galen stated.

Vaya looked around at the remaining personnel seated at the table and asked, “Has everyone had sufficient food? I do not think that you would wish to be eating while we watch the next piece of evidence.” Everyone nodded and pushed empty dishes away from them. Tilly stood and started to clear the table, obviously feeling that as the most junior officer present, she should carry out that task. Vaya waved her back to her seat. “Please, sit, Ensign Tilly. As host and Tolerian Prime, this is my job. I ensure that our guests are fed, and then I ensure that the table is cleared.”

Michael knew he was lying, of course, but he obviously didn’t want Tilly exerting herself. She needed all her energy for what lay ahead. It didn’t take long for him to move the dishes out of the room, helped by Una and Michael.

When they returned to their seats, Vaya said quietly, “We’ll start reviewing from Commander DelRosso’s personal log. It is hard to watch. Anyone who needs to leave at any point need not be ashamed. Do not ask for permission, just leave.” He scanned the room and made sure each attendee nodded their understanding. Singh then stood and bolted for the door.

“I’ll check on him later,” Ylsa murmured. “He and the Commander were quite close, so this will be very difficult for him.”

“Very well. We will begin.” Vaya pressed a control on the PADD in front of him and turned to the viewscreen. “It’s rather… salty… in spots.”

* * *

 

Commander DelRosso was heavily greying and bearded. He spoke with a noticeable slur in his words and there were times he would cradle his aching head in his hands even as he entered his log.

**_This is the personal log of Commander Rafael DelRosso, currently acting Captain of the USS Janus.  It is one hundred and ninety-two Earth standard days since we arrived in this god forsaken hell hole._ **

**_Positives to report:_ **

**_No deaths reported among the Federation crew in the last twenty-four hours._ **

**_No injuries either!_ **

**_Several crew members have informed me that they have begun to grow gills in odd locations due to our algae diet.  Instructed to go to MedBay and see Doc._ **

**_However, two of the Breen overseers have come down with a mysterious case of The Dead along with fifteen of their ilk.  Spontaneous hold decompression occurred… spontaneously._ **

**_Loud laughter._ **

**_The Breen is royally pissed so I warned my crew to step sharp, keep their mouths shut and don’t misbehave._ **

**_I have often prayed to whatever Patheon of deities are overseeing this godforsaken section of space for them to send help. The Federation must have pretty much decided we’re a lost cause as they’re getting their asses handed to them by the Klingons._ **

**_There is a saying, careful of what you wish for, because the universe is a spiteful bitch._ **

**_Today help arrived._ **

**_Christopher Fucking Pike arrived._ **

**_Alas, no trumpet fanfare, but I did herald him with the boswain’s whistle every chance I could, just for old time’s sake.  He latched onto Singh because the kid’s competent as fuck. I’ll be saluting Singh as Captain before I get my civvies. Even Emerson thought the kid has potential and Emmie only liked Tanaka. Everyone else could go fuck off._ **

**_Yes, USS Enterprise Captain Pike on the Janus. I’m sure that right now the Board of Inquiry is busy detailing my crimes and they don’t understand why I’m not happy to see my former Commanding Officer._ **

**_Because Christopher Fucking Poster Boy of the Federation Pike believes he is a Tolerian War Lord enslaved by the Breen.  He’s wearing a very sloppy version of  Tye t’Kandranos’ facial sigils and… he’s not alone. He’s got one of Gabriel Lorca’s CADETS who is supposedly his… mate._ **

**_Christopher Pike, who the Talosians couldn’t break, who laughed off the trauma of Rigel V and who I personally witnessed dancing on top of a bar with three drunken Beregarian Ward Lords after negotiating the Beregarian peace treaty, has been completely and utterly mind fucked by the Breen into thinking he’s a fricking Tolerian War Lord._ **

**_I managed to stagger to the bridge and he didn’t recognize me. I talked to him, he claimed he was a Tolerian, told me not to touch his sigils because they belonged to his wife._ **

**_Lorca’s Cadet._ **

**_I guess it could have been worse. If good old Gabe would have shown up I would have spaced him myself._ **

**_Anyway, the officer Pike traded for a case of whiskey; he didn’t recognize._ **

**_Well, all of my crew recognized him because he’s a big fucking hero that all the little ensigns want to grow up and be like. I can’t tell them the truth, that he’s completely strung out on a cocktail of assorted alkaloids and whatever else the Breen gave him to turn him into a Good Little Breen Slave._ **

**_Janus, please watch Pike and Tilly at all times. Keep me informed of any crew interactions with the captain.  I want all of the exchanges to be saved on the data core, you will carbon copy them to my personal log._ **

Female voice: **_Yes, Captain. I am confirming your request._**

**_I’ll just keep telling my crew over and over again until they believe it, Pike will get them home._ **

**_Because I haven’t been able to do it and I have very little time left.  Nessa, Singh and Ylsa all know that I am a dead man walking._ **

Michael Burnham multitasked. On the one hand, she inventoried, strategized and categorized the data being presented. That… person… on the viewscreen… who looked like Christopher Pike, sounded like Christopher Pike was NOT Christopher Pike. His voice was different, the walk was different and his eyes were dead.

The Federation crew was **_terrified_** of Pike, of the Breen. It was painful to watch a young ensign, a stellar cartographer, have a nervous breakdown on the bridge because… he had **_complimented_** her.

Most importantly, she focused on Tilly. Tilly was pale, extremely quiet, yet quite focused on the mission at hand which was to save her captain.

Vaya stopped the review.

“The next one is pretty tough to watch.  Pike has a psychotic break due to the medication and he becomes exceedingly paranoid to the point where he physically assaulted DelRosso,” Vaya announced.  “The background on this is there had been a coolant leak and Nessa, being the only crew member able to fit into compartment volunteered to fix the leak. Pike felt that DelRosso was usurping his position as Captain and reacted accordingly.”

“He was very angry that I was put at risk,” Nessa admitted softly even as Ylsa left the room at a fast pace.

Galen stood up and nodded his head. “I’ll check on them both. Singh is under a great deal of emotional stress right now.”

**_“How old are you?”  Chris finally asked as he stared at his steepled hands. His voice was controlled, low and dangerous._ **

**_“T-t-wenty one, Sir,” Singh admitted. The young officer visibly shook in fear._ **

**_“How long since you graduated?” was his next soft question._ **

**_“I … I… I think it’s seven months, Sir.  I don’t know the exact number of days. D-d-d-do you want me to find out?” Singh asked._ **

**_Pike shook his head. “So… you were commanded by… Tanaka for a week or two at the most?”_ **

**_“Y-Y-e-s-s.”_ **

**_“Does that excuse you from understanding the proper chain of command?” Pike continued as he stared at his steepled fingers._ **

**_“N-n-no.”_ **

**_“No, Sir,” prompted Chris. He slowly exhaled and shook his head. “I’m afraid that I have to make an example of you. I saw potential in you, I promoted you. Dare I say this? I thought we were laying a foundation of possible trust, but I was wrong. I am your captain. Not DelRosso.”_ **

**_Chris growled, “I want you to say it. Who is your Captain?”_ **

**_“You are,” whispered Singh._ **

**_“I can’t hear you,” he responded. He tapped his ear, “Did you say, ‘DelRosso?’ I think you did. Say it louder, so I can hear you.”_ **

**_“You are my Captain, Sir!” Singh stated in a much louder tone._ **

**_“Scream it so they can hear you on the bridge, lieutenant. Who is your captain?” Pike requested._ **

**_Singh screamed it at full volume and Chris pursed his lips, tilted his head and nodded in satisfaction.  “Almost sounded like you meant it,” he admitted._ **

**_“I did, Sir. I swear, I swear,” an emotionally exhausted Singh protested._ **

**_“Tell DelRosso that he better be at the general assembly because I’m sending a message to him, and you’re the messenger,” Chris mildly stated even while Singh pleaded for Chris to believe that he was his Captain. “Stop sniveling, Singh. Be brave, be bold, be courageous.  Once you’re punished, we can work through this. I promised you that I’d put you back together again, first I just have to smooth out a few rough edges.”_ **

**_The two security guards arrived shortly afterwards and dragged Singh away to the mess hall._ **

**_There were Federation crew in the hallway while a hysterical Singh screamed, “DelRosso! Pike’s gonna kill me. He’s gonna kill me. He’s fucking snapped. He’s gonna fucking kill me.”_ **

**_“Singh, do you trust me?”  DelRosso spoke through the intercom system._ **

**_“I trust you with Ylsa’s life! You promised me that you’d protect her, but Pike’s fucking crazy!”_ **

Tilly then turned an ungodly shade of puce and then left the room at a fast pace.

“Go,” Commander Saru ordered as though Michael needed to be ordered.

* * *

 

Tilly was close to a panic attack. A full blown, overwhelming sense of doom.  She couldn’t catch her breath and… she couldn’t… couldn’t… relive Chris nearly killing DelRosso.

“I’m here Tilly,” Michael whispered as she embraced her. “I’m here. It’ll be OK. I promise you. It will be OK.”

Warm, comforting arms enfolded her in much-needed love and acceptance, and Tilly permitted herself to weep until she was utterly cored.

“It was the drugs,” she explained to Michael.  “ ** _That_** Captain Pike was due to the Breen and their drugs. Once Nessa weaned him off the drugs, he wasn’t like that. He was the Captain Pike that you know. Please believe me, that no matter how far gone he was, he didn’t… do what he’s claiming to me.”

Michael nodded her head and agreed with Tilly.

“Oh God, I must look like I’ve been beaten. Red hair, red face, bloodshot eyes,” Tilly sniffled even as she rubbed her eyes.

Michael grabbed Tilly’s hand and shook her head.

“Yes, you do look a little rough, and rubbing your eyes will make it worse,” Michael informed her.  “Let’s go someplace and see if we can patch you up. I’m pulling rank and you’re not going back there. Before you protest, I know Commander Saru will agree with me. He’s very worried about you. What can I do to help you?”

Tilly sniffled again and nodded her head.

“I can’t go back in the room. What you can do to help me is I need to speak with Captain Pike,” requested Tilly. “I want to make sure he’s OK.”

Michael shook her head. “That’s not a good idea, Tilly.”

“Then if you’re not going to help me, I’m going to the Brig and they will let me talk to him,” Tilly stated.

She turned and began to walk down the corridor.  Michael then jogged quickly to catch up with her and stopped in front of her.

“Wait! Wait! Let me ask Admiral Cornwell if it’s possible. If she doesn’t agree to it, then we don’t do it.”

* * *

 

After a very long interview with Admiral Cornwell, Chris closed his eyes. He was beyond exhausted both mentally and physically and he needed rest.

“Chris?” Kat asked. If she was using his first name, it meant that she was being unofficial.

“Yes?” he murmured.

“Are you up to a visitor?” Kat questioned.

“Depends,” he admitted. “If it’s Una, I have to see her. Else she’ll break in here.”

Kat chuckled and then turned serious. “It’s Ensign Tilly.”

With that, Chris opened his eyes and attempted to straighten his clothes. He failed miserably, but it was a noble attempt.

“Can it be private?”  he asked.

“Really?” Kat questioned.  She didn’t even bother to hide her annoyance. “After the charges you listed in reference to her, you want a private conversation? Are you trying to get your case thrown into a higher jurisdiction?”

Chris nodded his head in agreement with the truth in her words.

“Have someone in room, but don’t record it. I need to talk to her, Kat. The Breen took out my implant, I need to tell her,” Chris explained. “I told her it was current.”

“Chris, I’ve seen the report, and no baby,” Kat stated. "Absolutely, positively no baby."

Chris exhaled a very succinct and very sincere, “Thank God.”

“We’ll have to keep it brief, but this can only happen if Commander Burnham sits in.” Kat stated.

“Yes,” Pike agreed.

* * *

 

The first thing he noticed was that Sylvia Tilly looked like hell. Wan, bloodshot eyes and her fierce hair was a sharp contrast to her pallor.

“Sylvia? Are you feeling ok?” He asked softly. For a moment, he wanted nothing more than to embrace her… but he couldn’t.

“I’m fine, Captain. It’s just been a very difficult few days,” she informed him.

“Commander Burnham, thank you for chaperoning us,” Pike stated in his normal tone. Then he turned back to Tilly and he made his voice significantly slower and softer. “Are you getting help? Cornwell won’t tell me anything. You look exhausted.”

“I am,” Tilly admitted.  She nervously laughed as she pushed back her hair. “I haven’t been sleeping very well for the last few months.”

“Listen to me.  I know my word doesn’t mean a lot after the Janus, but everything will work out. Everything will work out; I swear to you. I will protect you.”

Tilly bobbed her head in agreement. “I know you will.”

Chris leaned closer to her and whispered, “I need to tell you that the Breen removed my implant. I told you it was current, Sylvia, but they removed it.”

“Captain…” she paused and then she continued, “Chris, I’ve seen Galen. There is nothing for you to worry about. Promise.”

Chris stared into her very soul before he spoke, “Sylvia, I know you as well as I know anyone. Whatever you’re hiding, whatever you fear to confide to me, you can tell me. Let me help you. I won’t be angry, just tell me.”

Tilly blinked her eyes, as she knew she was horribly, horribly emotional these days, and prone to crying for any reason.

“I’m really worried about you,” she confessed. It was the truth, just not all of it. “I’m really worried.”

“Captain Pike?” Admiral Cornwell was back in full force. “We’ve just finished docking at Starbase 32. We will now escort you to the Starbase brig where you will be remanded to custody.”

Pike stood straighter upon hearing that news as though he had accepted his fate.  But Tilly knew better, saw his nervousness, his fears and his concerns. She reacted instinctively and hugged him. Tightly as though she could prevent what was about to occur.

Chris hugged her back. It was a quick hug, and he wiped one tear away from her face with a very gentle touch before he extricated himself from her grasp.

“None of that now.  I’ll be ok, I promise.” 

And Chris winked at her and it was balanced by his crooked smile. Then he held out his hands, and nodded his head.

“Michael, last request as your commanding officer. Keep an eye on Sylvia or you’ll have to answer to me. Do I make myself perfectly clear?” he growled.

Michael Burnham nodded her head.  That done, Chris straightened his posture, drew himself up to his full height and he put on a mask of perfect serenity that would have made Sarek proud.

“Let’s do this,” he informed Admiral Cornwell.

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pike and Tilly's decisions to protect the other during the trial has both anticipated results for one, and unanticipated for another. 
> 
> Jose Mendez is a character from Star Trek TOS who oversaw the trial of Spock when he Pike-napped Pike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to F,C&C

Captain Pike walked out; his head held high. To his surprise, Lt. Singh was in the hallway, along with Ensign Ylsa. They were joined by Commander Saru… and Number One was also there. Vaya was there to escort him along with what had to be the heavily armed secondary and tertiary lines of the clan t’Kandranos.  There was even his favorite little blue doctor who utilized little blue crutches as her foot was still braced.

Chris gave an abrupt nod of acknowledgement to his escort. 

“Admiral Cornwell, I believe that they are waiting for me?” He announced. 

* * *

 

“Tilly?” Michael Burnham questioned softly after Pike left the room. Her eyebrow was arched and her eyes were full of compassion.  She struggled to find the right words and damned her Vulcan upbringing, “You and Captain Pike, you were…  **_intimate_ ** ?”

The color drained from Tilly’s face, making her even paler than her norm.

“No, no, no at all,” she lied and lied badly even as she trembled. 

“Tilly…” Michael gently protested.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Tilly insisted. “I can’t talk about it.”

“What Captain Pike is saying about what happened between you two?” Michael prompted.  “It’s the truth, isn’t it? Well part of the truth, you two were lovers… but he didn’t force you… I saw the way he talked to you, the way you responded…. I don’t see coercion; I saw mutual affection and kindness.”

Michael hugged her tightly and Tilly wiped away her tears before she softly admitted, “Sylvia and Chris were sexually intimate, and it was completely and utterly consensual.”

It was easier that way, to say it in the third person, as though Sylvia and Chris were different people than Ensign Tilly and Captain Christopher Pike. Well, one was. One was very much so, while the other, sadly, was not.

“You’re in love with him.” Michael stated that simply, no question, no way for Tilly to rebut the claim.

Tilly nodded her head and began to explain. “It w-w-was really easy to fall in love with Chris. He was … sweet.. and… very generous…” She giggled tearfully before she added impishly, “Plus, he’s really fucking amazing in bed. I mean… multiple… orgasms… **_every single time_ ** .”

Michael shook her head in mock disapproval but also with a trace of amused admiration.

“Sylvia and Chris talked about having kids together… and Chris… he wanted a horde of little girls with crazy red hair… he really wanted them… with Sylvia… while Sylvia wanted a little boy that looked like him… fortunately Chris wanted to wait until Chris and Sylvia had gotten back to Federation space, Chris wanted to be in Federation territory and settled down… in a safe place before they began trying. It’s a good thing, as Captain Pike told me that it would have been a horrible mistake if he had gotten me pregnant. Chris told Sylvia that he loved her, Captain Pike told Ensign Tilly it was a huge mistake and that he never would have touched her if it wasn’t for the drugs.”

There. 

She was getting better at saying that out loud. As though it hadn’t hurt her. Deeply. 

**_You’re not a mistake, Willa. You’re perfect. Captain Pike didn’t father you, Chris did. He wanted you. He would have spoiled you rotten so I’ll have to do that. And… I’ll be more like Granna and your step-grandfather Quinn. Quinn is gonna love you and you’ll be as tight as thieves._ **

She must be cracking up, because besides being hugged mentally by her assorted Inner Tillys, she felt the arms of a little girl hug her tightly, and a very soft voice that whispered, “ **_I love you, Mama_ ** .” 

God, she was so desperate for reassurance that she was having a mental conversation with her unborn child. 

“Tilly, how are you going to prevent them from finding out?” Burnham questioned.  “They’ll use the cerebral mapping device on you.”

“The crew of the Janus was treated by the Tolerians medics, and several of the crew members of the Janus required medication due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Singh, T’seng, and a few others.  The medication Galen gave us can circumvent the cerebral mapping device as it’s dependent on measuring  postsynaptic alpha-adrenergic receptors . I’m currently on it, as it… helps me sleep.”

A little white lie, it just helped prevent her sobbing uncontrollably at all hours.

Burnham gave her another hug and then once they separated, Tilly continued, “Once… he’s…saved… from his own nobility…I need to leave the Discovery…  I need to transfer off… take some leave… I just can’t… be on the same ship with him for a while…”

Michael was teary, which didn’t help Tilly’s composure. “I don’t want you to leave,” Michael whispered as she embraced Tilly once more.

“I just can’t be on the same ship with him,” Tilly repeated. “I can’t. But I need to get through the Inquiry first and then request a transfer.”

“We need to get you a uniform that fits,” Michael insisted. “What you’re wearing is easily six sizes too big.”

**_Not for long,_ ** Tilly thought.  **_Not for long_ ** .

* * *

 

Sarah April, MD, better half of Robert April, Commodore had already met with the team overseeing Christopher Pike’s Trial.

“In my professional opinion, Christopher Pike is suffering from PTSD. Combined with a hard, fast detox from the Breen drugs he was given, he is no condition to adequately cross examine witnesses, let alone actively participate in his defense. Therefore, his two Executive Officers will be acting as his defense counsel. There are also concerns that what he believed happened, did not in fact truly occur,” Sarah explained to the Inquiry.

She waited, and prayed that this gambit would work. 

Giseo, a very dark haired Caitian Commodore, purred his unhappiness. “I can’t believe I’m sitting on the court martial of Christopher Pike. This case and its results could rock Star Fleet to its very core because one of our most decorated Captains is claiming he sexually assaulted his junior officer.  Therefore, we must thoroughly investigate what drugs Pike were allegedly given and how they affected him.”

Tovan, the Andorian Commodore, pursed her lips and her antennae lay flat against her head, displaying her unease. “Agreed, but we must throw everything we know about him out the window, and examine the facts carefully and with much deliberation. We have to be very strict, so there is no charge of favoritism. Garan?”

Garan the Tellurite was remarkable among his people as he had learned an approximation of what passed as good manners among the Federation. To his people, he was deemed the least pugnacious of his species, much to their embarrassment.

“Agreed. We need the facts, we need information, and we have to be extremely thorough,” Garan growled. The Tellurite cracked his neck and exhaled. “We’ll need medical experts to discuss the chemistry blood levels and report back to us. While we’ve got the Tolerian doctor who treated the Janus crew, we’ve got the Janus doctor, plus all of Pike’s assorted CMOs all willing to weigh in, we require an unbiased review. My background is engineering, not biological sciences.”

“I’ve already sent them out for review to Starfleet Medical. They should be turned around shortly,” April promised.

“I would say that right now, this is actually an investigation on what occurred on the Janus.” 

* * *

 

Una explained that she and Saru would be his defense counsel and that he was to shut up and let them handle everything.  Chris wasn’t sure but he was pretty sure that Saru was mildly affronted by Una’s attitude but… he might have been slightly amused. It was hard to tell with the Kelpien.

“Commander Saru, I have been somewhat lenient with the Commander due to our long working relationship. Please do not pick up any bad habits from her,” Pike insisted.

“The Commander and I have been in constant communication since you first joined us. I consider her both a professional mentor and a close friend,” Saru assured him while Una smiled radiantly. 

Like hell did he trust that smile.  Pike stopped dead in the hallway, and nearly got tackled by the Tolerian Armed Guards. 

“I cannot believe you broke him,” he informed Una. “What have you taught him? You better stay away from Nirav Singh.”

He was poked in the back by Vaya and his mace. 

“Keep moving, Chris,” Vaya growled. “I’d like to get off this Starbase as quickly as possible.”

* * *

 

“First step is the plea,” Una explained to Saru before they entered the courtroom.  “Don’t let Chris talk.”

Saru nodded his head even while Pike protested.  Naturally, both Commanders were in cahoots and decided to ignore him. 

“Wait. I forgot this. We have to stop, don’t run us over,” Una enunciated to their guards. “There’s a Caitan on the Board of Inquiry so Phil wanted to make sure you got your antihistamines. He’s allergic to Caitans.”

Saru hit him with a hypo, and then the space station turned on its axis even while it exploded into a multitude of bright, sparkly colors. It was pretty, it was bright… and it was… fuzzy…

“You drugged me,” he thought as his two commanding officers sat him down on a bench.  He wasn’t sure if he should be proud or pissed, so he decided on proudly pissed. 

The three flag officers were disturbed by Chris’ zoned out appearance.

“I’m sorry, Captain Pike was given a new antihistamine and it’s affected him more than Dr. Boyce thought it would,” Una explained. “However, I am the lead in his defense counsel, so we can start with the plea. We plead not guilty on all charges.”

“I’m guilty,” Chris enunciated. Or least he attempted to do so, as Saru placed one hand over Pike’s mouth, gently, even as he stood in front of Pike to block him from view.  Una hadn’t completely corrupted Saru, as she would have just stunned him with phaser with a very soft and insincere ‘Oops’.

“I must admit that I’m confused. Captain Pike is the one who brought up all the charges and now, he is pleading not guilty?” The Andorian questioned.

“Captain Pike felt that due to the complex and tragic events surrounding the Janus, it would be best if a full and open investigation of his actions were held to bring closure to the families,” Commander Saru explained.  

Wow, that sounded almost noble, Pike thought.  

“Very well, then this will be fact finding investigation. After review, we’ll determine if Captain Pike needs to be court martialed.”

With an almost audible snap, Chris’ world returned to its normal pitch and hue. 

“I’m responsible for the crew deaths that occurred after my arrival,” Pike explained. At least he attempted to do so, had he not sneezed. Repeatedly. His eyes watered, and there was a tickle lodged in his throat. 

“He’s allergic,” Una murmured.  “I’m sorry, I have to give him another hypo. I’ll advise Dr. Boyce that this latest medication did not have the desired effect.”

The happy, warm fuzziness was back, even as Chris mentally screamed a futile protest. 

“Very well.” Tovan, as the senior of the three judges and the President of the Court took the lead. “Tomorrow, we’ll start the inquiry. For now, Pike will be remanded to the Brig. Please have him treated by Dr. Boyce so he can actively assist in this investigation.”

* * *

 

“How did it go?” Phil asked. “Chris will be fine tomorrow – right now he’s sleeping off what I gave him.”

“He wasn’t able to enter a guilty plea as he was zonked out on the anti-histamines,” Una confessed. “Thanks to you.”

“I have to give credit to my fellow practitioners of medicine. Dr. Pollard is quietly devious,” he admitted proudly.  “I trained her very well.”

* * *

 

Chris didn’t sleep for long, due to his nerves, as he felt as though he was drowning.

Christopher Pike was in a rip current due the events of the Janus. 

Not a physical rip current, but… nevertheless, a rip current.  Events were moving faster and faster and he had to remain calm. It would be foolish and exhausting to swim against the current (though he appreciated Una and Saru’s noble efforts). No, he needed to conserve his energy, so he could focus on the important goals.

The choices were simple, attempt to fight and cut across the current to protect himself. Or let the current take him where it would. Then when it faded away, he’d have a better lay of the land, (ocean?), to see how best to protect his crew.

Most importantly, how to best protect Tilly. 

The warm-hearted, overly excitable, absolutely awkwardly adorkable ensign who cursed like a Marine, who had loudly announced to Saru’s abject horror, that their new captain had nice nail beds. He had been flattered, because it wasn’t the usual pickup line. Sometimes, it was a comment about his eyes, his ass, or God forbid, his hair.

Never had anyone ever mentioned his nail beds. 

Sadly, they were looking a little ragged now. 

**_Tilly, the woman, you had bedded and… yes… admit it, Chris, the woman with whom you had fallen in love_ ** . 

**_There_ ** .

He admitted it.

**_You are in love with her._ **

**_It was different than it had been with Vina._ **

**_Not just because you were old enough to be Sylvia’s father._ **

**_Maybe, because you had known the real Sylvia Tilly before the Breen had drugged you.  While Vina… Vina… had been nothing more than an illusion fostered by the Talosians to create a slave race. While Vina had been secretive, because of the fact that she knew she was an illusion designed to tempt you, Sylvia had been honest with you regarding her fears and concerns. Because the core of Sylvia… hadn’t changed. The awkwardness, the insecurities, her incredible brilliance._ **

**_The way she loved to cuddle, her physical demonstrativeness. Not just sexually, Chris, but just the way Tilly loved to touch you. As a Starfleet captain, you’re touch starved and she just filled that aching hole that you refuse to admit exists._ **

**_Either way, you had hurt both women, Chris._ **

**_Vina, by leaving._ **

**_Tilly, by telling her the truth in the most brutal way possible.  You couldn’t even try to soften it, no, you couldn’t. Because you’re an asshole._ **

**_“I shouldn’t have permitted what happened… between us to progress to the point it did. It was the drugs, I wouldn’t have… touched you except for the drugs.”_ **

She was a bright, shining star. And he couldn’t let her radiance be snuffed out.  

No matter the personal cost.

It was time to fall on his sword. When Tilly made captain, hopefully she’d understand why. 

Therefore, he straightened out his uniform as well as he was able and practiced deep, calming breaths. 

* * *

 

“Good morning, Commanders,” Chris greeted them when they arrived.  His heart beat wildly in his chest, but outwardly he appeared calm.  

“We have some good news. Captain Jose Mendez as the Judge Advocate has no complaints regarding the use of DelRosso’s personal logs or the large volume of media DelRosso recorded of your interactions with the crew. I’ve reviewed them and they’ll be helpful in your defense,” Una explained. “Fortunately, Mendez is tough but fair.”

No, no, Chris needed to ensure that they understood how this would work.  He had spent a great deal of last night in internal reflection on how best to handle this inquiry.

“There is no defense. I’m guilty,” Chris explained. “He died under my command, as did Devins. A great many rules were broken and protocols were shattered. There must be a reckoning. And Una, under no circumstances, do I give you permission to cross examine Ensign Tilly.”

“Chris, I refuse to let you sacrifice yourself,” was Una’s retort.  “The court has decided that this is a fact-finding session, as opposed to your court martial. If necessary, we can present our arguments without you in the room.”

Pike stopped cold. He’d be in cell for the entire length of the trial, completely dependent on others to feed him information. 

He wouldn’t be able to protect Sylvia. 

“Try me,” Una offered.

**_Dare me_ ** , was the real message. 

“I wouldn’t if I were you, Captain Pike,” Saru inserted. He tilted his head and smiled at Una, who in turn, smiled back.

The fact that the two of them had bonded so well was more frightening than facing an armada of Klingon Vessels in a broken shuttle pod with no warp engine. 

“Una, you have  **_corrupted_ ** Commander Saru,” Pike protested. “He wasn’t like that…”

Saru interrupted him.  **_Interrupted_ ** him. “Until you came on board, Captain. That is correct.  However, as you often say, ‘Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Courageous’, perhaps now it is time for you to be boldly and courageously silent. If you speak at all, we will be required to bring Ensign Tilly to the stand.  We have multiple affidavits from assorted specialists from StarFleet Medical regarding your mental status during your capture by the Breen. You are at best, an unreliable witness.”

“Saru,” Pike protested.

“If you do not wish Ensign Tilly to be brought to the stand, you must remain silent,” Saru stated. 

* * *

 

“At this time, I am calling to order the investigation of the incident that occurred on the Janus,” Commodore Tovan announced. 

The Andorian Commodore stood while she made her announcement.

“I want everyone in this court to understand that this is a highly unusual situation, as we are permitting the inclusion of Commander DelRosso’s personnel logs even though he cannot be questioned.  We have multiple affidavits from assorted Starfleet personnel stating that Captain Pike and Ensign Pike are at best, unreliable witnesses due to the drugs they were administered. We even have an affidavit from the Tolerian medic, Galen t’Kandranos who advises that Pike and Tilly had false memories implanted to make them more susceptible to control by the Breen.  We have the Senior General, of a foreign Empire with which we do not have diplomatic relations, who is bearing witness as a conscripted Star Fleet Commander. We must be thorough and not rush to judgement because we need to carefully untangle this knotted mess.”

She sat down then and announced that they would view DelRosso’s personnel log first. 

**_“This is the personnel log of Commander Raphael DelRosso.  As I state every morning in my personnel log, due to the incidents on the Archimedes and the Enterprise, I am recording all interactions with my fellow crew members.  I have eleven months, fourteen days, three hours and twelve minutes until Starfleet gets their pound of flesh from me and I can return home. That is, if the Federation stops getting its tail kicked by the Klingons. Today we’re attempting to bring the girl to Warp Three to see if the reconfigured warp drives are usable. ”_ **

**_Hana Tanaka, small, cheerful, but an absolute hell raiser when necessary.  She was the Captain of the USS Janus._ **

**_“Emerson, are we prepared to go to warp?” She questioned._ **

**_“We are green across the boards,” Emerson announced._ **

**_“DelRosso, are you interfaced?” She questioned._ **

**_“Janus and I are interfaced. She is eager to test out her warp drive,” he announced._ **

**_“I appreciate her enthusiasm. Emerson, reconfirm that we are green to test.”_ **

**_“I request confirmation again from all departments that we are green across the boards. Ensign Singh? Ensign Ylsa? Commander Zhivanevskaya, are we green in engineering?” Emerson paused, listened to his headset, and then nodded his head. “Engineering is green, Captain.”_ **

**_“Let’s hit it,” the captain ordered. She gestured and then all hell broke loose. The ship seemed to lose its balance and began gyrating wildly._ **

**_“Something is wrong ... the nacelles are now out of alignment...”  DelRosso announced._ **

**_“Abort!” Tanaka stated. “Abort.”_ **

**_They came to a painful stop and there was controlled chaos as Tanaka ran a tight ship._ **

**_“Rafe?” Emerson questioned as he made his made to the way to the prone DelRosso. “Come on, talk to me?”_ **

**_He slapped DelRosso gently in a failed attempt to revive him. “This is Emerson. We need a medical team to the bridge.”_ **

**_“Ensign T’seng, please verify our current position. I do not recognize the stars,” Tanaka requested._ **

**_T’seng announced their position and Tanaka exhaled, “We’re in Breen territory. Can we get the engines back online?”_ **

Chris closed his eyes and bowed his head. He had already viewed this part of the personal log, and he preferred not to re-witness the mass execution that would occur shortly when the Breen removed any senior officer. 

**_“He’s not worth wasting the charge,”_ ** whispered Pike in unison with the Breen Thot who had examined DelRosso.    **_“He’s glitched. The interface blew his brains out, so focus on their warp core.”_ **

Silence.

“May I motion that the court permits a brief recess?” Mendez requested. “I think it would be beneficial for all concerned.”

“Agreed.”

* * *

 

It was a long day, as they barely finished with DelRosso’s personal logs before the court adjourned. The Commodores requested multiple reviews of DelRosso’s comments on Pike. They were rather… brutal...

**_Today help arrived._ **

**_Christopher Fucking Pike arrived._ **

**_Yes, USS Enterprise Captain Pike on the Janus. I’m sure that right now the Board of Inquiry is busy detailing my crimes and they don’t understand why I’m not happy to see my former Commanding Officer._ **

**_Because Christopher Fucking Poster Boy of the Federation Pike believes he is a Tolerian War Lord enslaved by the Breen.  He’s wearing a very sloppy version of Tye t’Kandranos’ facial sigils and… he’s not alone. He’s got one of Gabriel Lorca’s CADETS who is supposedly his… mate._ **

**_Christopher Pike, who the Talosians couldn’t break, who laughed off the trauma of Rigel V and who I personally witnessed dancing on top of a bar with three drunken Beregarian Ward Lords after negotiating the Beregarian peace treaty, has been completely and utterly mind fucked by the Breen into thinking he’s a fricking Tolerian War Lord._ **

Their meeting in the turbo lift, the first day Chris had taken command of the Janus. 

**_I managed to stagger to the bridge and he didn’t recognize me. I talked to him, he claimed he was a Tolerian, told me not to touch his sigils because they belonged to his wife._ **

**_...Anyway, the officer Pike traded for a case of whiskey; he didn’t recognize._ **

**_Well, all of my crew recognized him because he’s a big fucking hero that all the little ensigns want to grow up and be like. I can’t tell them the truth, that he’s completely strung out on a cocktail of assorted alkaloids and whatever else the Breen gave him to turn him into a Good Little Breen Slave._ **

Meetings with the various Janus Mutineers where DelRosso repeated instructed them that a ‘recovered’ Pike was playing the long con to fool the Breen and that they had to protect him and Tilly at all cost. There was one, lone blue doubter who made her doubts plain.

**_You’re lying. Pike has no idea who he is. You know, unlike the others, I’ve actually seen Pike in the flesh. At a distance, yes, behind a podium, yes, but they’ve only seen him on view screens about his latest heroics. I did a quick scan of him; his blood levels are absolutely fucked up. I don’t know how he’s talking and walking with those levels. He’s drugged as is Tilly. Do you know what drugs they’re on? Anything?_ **

**_It’s something psychotropic. I’m not familiar with their drugs._ **

**_Why do you keep telling Singh and Ylsa that Pike’s playing a long con on the Breen?_ **

**_Because Pike’s acting like Starfleet, so there has to be some of the real Pike left.  He’s protected Ylsa, he sat with T’seng when she had her nervous breakdown, he’s mentoring Singh.  We just have to figure out how to break the conditioning before the Breen overwrite what’s left of the real Pike._ **

The hardest part to endure was to watch him nearly kill DelRosso.  Because DelRosso had thought ahead and had the ship record all of Pike’s interactions outside of his quarters. 

He forced himself to watch, to not lose his composure, to focus on breathing in and out… but it didn’t work. Not at all.

Because he re-lived it.

**_“I wanted to kill DelRosso,” the stranger that wore his face admitted. “Part of me wanted to kill him, and there was another part of me that was screaming at me to stop.”_ **

**_“Well, I’m very glad you listened to that part of you. Keep listening to that Chris, please,” Sylvia gave him a sweet smile._ **

**_“I didn’t, that’s what is scaring me. I was about to strike him for the fourth time when I had this… flash,” he explained. He stopped and nodded before he snapped his fingers. “It was like that.”_ **

**_Sylvia squeezed his hands and prompted him to keep talking._ **

**_“I was the commanding officer who told him that he was sorry ass excuse of an officer. I expressed that to him, and that appraisal led him directly to this point in time, where I nearly fucking killed him.  I think I’m a Fed, Sylvia.” Long, long pause before he looked away from her. “No. I know that I’m a Fed and I think you’re one also. I just nearly killed the one person who might know what the fucking hell is going on. I have no idea what is happening here or why we’re here.”_ **

After that confession, there was silence. 

“If I may address the court?” Saru requested. At the judges’ agreement, he stood to face them. “I think the court may wish to adjourn for the day. I’m sure we’re all rather drained?”

Mendez agreed and so it was adjourned.

The inquiry continued for the next seven days.  Each day, Pike found himself internalizing more and more as he nearly bit his lip clear through to prevent himself from protesting the Janus crew’s fervent defense of Captain Christopher Pike, hero.  As it was, he almost cheered when Mendez attempted to punch holes in the testimony of those witnessing on his behalf.  He knew Mendez by reputation only, a pugnacious prosecutor; someone who wouldn’t go easy on him just because he was Christopher Pike, alleged hero.

No, Mendez pounded the crap out of him and of his defense team because he was a true believer in the Star Fleet Code of Conduct. 

The judges were remorseless on the witnesses, as they requested clarifications or revisited previously discussed issues ad nauseum to hammer out events and time lines. A bit too hard on the witnesses as since he had been coerced into not talking, he never promised that he wouldn’t poke Una and glare at her when Mendez ran roughshod over T’seng. 

He was damn proud of her, as T’seng kept her composure through her ordeal. Her voice was steady and she made excellent eye contact. He had been slipped a message from Captain Dhar who promised to take her on as a personal project once the ensign was cleared to transfer. 

Four crew members down (as Singh, Ylsa and Nessa were going to the Enterprise as they were too dangerous to be let loose on an unsuspecting universe), twenty odd more to get situated. 

The overwhelming sense of guilt and shame was surprisingly lessened after he heard from his father and his stepmother. Somehow… someone… (Phil or Kat or possibly both of them) had reached out to retired Admiral Joshua Pike to let him know that his boy was in deep trouble. 

His stepmother fussed over his exhausted appearance and made him promise that he’d come back to Mojave for a proper rest after everything was settled. Though he had been twenty something when Miriam had married Josh, she still tried to mother him.

“I’ll let you and your father talk, Chris. Josh, that means you let Chris talk instead of talking over him, dear.”

That was the pointed dig at Josh’s command style of parenting. 

The Pike-Pike Accord of Peaceful Neutrality and Non-Aggression was firmly based on Chris’ sincerest respect and admiration for his father and his values and it taken years to hammer out.  Pretty much, just keep your mouth shut and your head low when Josh talked at you. It had been a long day, long week, exceeding horrid two months and he wanted nothing more than to request something to give him a deep, dreamless sleep.

For a moment, Pike longed for the kids he had wanted more than anything with Sylvia.  Once upon a time, he promised himself that he would be more… approachable… to his children than Josh had ever been to him. 

“I’m hearing things, Christopher.  Unhappy things. What happened?” Josh questioned softly and then paused for Chris to respond.

“Sir, I was captured by the Breen. Have you heard of them?” Chris asked.

“My sources updated me. They’re a right nasty bunch,” was Josh’s response. 

Josh then waited for him to lead the conversation, which meant that he was really worried about his prodigal son.

“They kidnapped me and a junior officer of mine. We were drugged and indoctrinated into believing we were a mated Tolerian pair, complete with the required facial tattoos.” Chris paused.

“I’ve met a few Tolerians. They seem… honorable but rather… idiosyncratic. What with their braids, their piercings and their facial sigils?” 

Long silence.

“What is bothering you?” Josh finally prompted. 

“I had sexual relations with my junior office. Repeatedly.” Chris stated that quietly. “At no time was she able to consent.”

Josh didn’t bother to hide his confusion. “She was… unconscious? Unable to state she didn’t want to have sex?”

“No! She  **_wasn’t_ ** unconscious when we had sex. She thought she was a Tolerian, Sir. She thought that we were a mated pair.”

“Chris, are you telling me that you knowingly had sex with your junior officer? Knowing that she was unable to consent, and that you were her superior officer?” Josh asked.

“No, I thought I was a Tolerian warlord. The Breen really… screwed with my head… I thought we were bonded.”

Again there was the long silence, as though Josh anticipated that Chris would present the correct answer to recent events if he just thought long enough about it. You could take the Admiral, make him a school teacher and then retire him but you could never change the fundamental foundation of Joshua Pike.

“What am I missing?” Chris finally asked. “What do you want me to say?”

“Willa raised you proper. You know right from wrong, and it’s bone deep with you. You can’t see the forest for the damn trees, Chris. Did you force her?” was the next question.

The very thought  _ appalled _ Chris. 

“No,  **_never_ ** ,” Chris protested.

“Did she ever tell you,  **_no_ ** ? Did she ever ask you to stop?” Josh persisted. “Did you hit her? Did you …  **_disrespect_ ** … her?”

“ **_Never_ ** . If she had ever said ‘no’ I would have stopped.”

For a wonder, Josh Pike appeared to be sunburned, because he sure as hell wasn’t blushing.  “Willa, God bless her for putting up with me for all our years together, gave you the talk about… sex… Chris…did you do your mother proud? You treated this junior officer of yours… Sylva Tilly… Like a lady?”

“Of  **_course_ ** ,” Chris insisted.

“When you two were alone in your quarters, did you treat her like a lady? Or an ensign?” Josh prompted.

“When it was just the two of us in our quarters, she was in charge. There was an unequal power balance between us outside of our quarters, and I tried to negate it as much as I could,” Chris stated. 

Left unsaid, he had watched Josh interact with his mother, so that’s why his subconscious had insisted on the dynamics between him and Tilly be leveled. 

Somehow. 

Somewhere. 

“You were dealt a shitty hand, son. A really shitty hand, through no fault of your own. You dealt with it the best way you could, the only proper way. Don’t be angry at yourself, be angry at the Breen. Now the question is… what do you do…  **_now_ ** ?”

That answer was easy. 

There was only one thing that could be done. 

“I’m planning on falling on my sword. I’m taking the blame for this because… if I don’t, it will ruin her career. She’s an amazing, vibrant personality, and she will make a first-class Star Fleet officer. I can’t let her get snuffed out because of this. You know as well as I do, how things truly are.”

The rumors would circulate, and people would assume that any promotion she had earned would be because she had spread her legs  **_WIDE_ ** for Christopher Pike.

Josh Pike nodded his head, and then said the words that Chris never thought he’d hear from his father. 

“I’m damn proud of you, son.  Your mamma raised you right,” Josh stated quietly.  “You keep your head held high.”

* * *

 

“You’re doing very well, Captain,” Una informed him the next morning. “I would have bet that you would have voiced some disapproval in the courtroom by now.”

“You in fact, did, and you lost,” Saru added from behind Pike.

“For the safety of the universe at large, I’m planning on separating you two as soon as possible,” murmured Pike. “How much did you win, Saru?”

 “A not inconsiderable amount,” was all Saru would admit even as he was gifted with Pike’s evil eye.

“I thought it was a really easy wager to win,” Una stated.  “Kelpians are not known for their gambling expertise.”

“Know many Kelpians, do you?” Chris inserted. He thought he was funny, but apparently the kids didn’t’. 

“And I knew that Captain Pike would do anything to protect Ensign Tilly, so it was an easy wager,” retorted Saru.

Time to get the kids focused on the important issues.

“I think we’ve run out of witnesses, except for the medical experts,” Pike added.  “Almost done then.”

“They’ll be anticlimactic after your Tolerian XO,” Una stated.   Yes, there was definite amusement in her eyes, but her face was expressionless. “He keeps asking me when he is getting paid, and he wants details about his Federation retirement benefits. We saved him almost for last, as we have been unable to determine what rank he currently is, with what organization he is, and we’re not even sure by what name we should address him. I think his savagery during his fight with the Breens scared the hell out of Mendez.”

Mendez seemed rattled by the easy conversational tone in which the Tolerian had detailed graphically the mutiny aboard the Janus, what he had witnessed and the days immediately following the event.  Jose being flustered, had left untouched several questions that should have been asked. 

“I think it was when Vaya described cauterizing his own wound that might have scared him,” Saru inserted.

Una chuckled while Pike winced. His sleep wasn’t very restorative at the best of times lately… for some  **_unknown_ ** reason…. Perhaps being in the brig, perhaps seeing Dr. Ness use a laser scalpel to defend her team from the Breen, but after he had been forced to watch Vaya systemically annihilate a Breen squad to 20 th century Big Band music, he hadn’t been able to sleep… at all. 

If he ever had to endure another mutiny, there would  **_not be a soundtrack_ ** . 

Even if the pulsating drum beats of the late, great Maurice Purtill had played havoc with the Breen’s sensors. 

“He attempted to save Devin’s team,” Chris chastised.

“Chris, he was  **_vicious_ ** . However, the good news is he and Bob have bonded,” Una smiled as Chris’ horrified face. “Now, remember, you open your mouth at all today, Tilly will be forced to testify.”

Chris nodded his head.

* * *

**_Keep your damn mouth shut_ ** , he repeated over and over again during that day’s testimony.  It was technical and involved long discussions regarding psychotropic drugs, assorted neurotransmitters and what each value detailed.

Each medical witness detailed in vivid details his psychotic break. Even Star Fleet Medical stated that in their professional opinion, based on their extensive review of his serotonin, norepinephrine, noradrenaline and every other universally accepted neurotransmitter that they could name, Christopher Pike could not be held accountable for his actions.

After Galen had finished presenting his findings via translation, Tovan announced a brief recess before the final two witnesses were called.

**_Ensign Sylvia Tilly and Captain Christopher Pike._ **

“What?” Pike exploded even as Saru and Una attempted to silence Chris. “I do not want her testifying. I don’t want her to relive what I put her through.”

The Andorian Commodore shook her head. 

“We require her testimony.  You will not be in the room when she testifies. We will also have her medic of choice… Galen… in the courtroom.    At this time, we only have your testimony regarding your relationship with the Ensign. No one else has been able to confirm it. Everyone questioned has stated that they saw what seemed to be a professional relationship with the exception that you shared your living quarters. There have been no reports of obvious bruises or sexual assault related injuries, or improper displays of affection.  Dr. Nessa advised that there was a back injury secondary to you being dropped by Dr. Nessa and Ensign Ylsa, and while normally I must fault her for not getting assistance in moving you, her defense that she felt at the time the crew should not know that their captain was unconscious does hold merit. While Ensign Tilly deserves a full investigation into your claims, I owe it to  **_you_ ** to thoroughly investigate your claims.  We had multiple statements from credible sources that you were drugged by the Breen. That makes your testimony problematic for me, at best; at worst, completely inadmissible.  Ensign Tilly has also been documented as being drugged, so her testimony is again problematic. We three must hear it, and we must make a decision on how to move forward.”

Giseo the Caitian purred his agreement. “There will no rush to decision on this.”

The third judge, Garan, nodded his approval. “Please take the Captain back to the brig. He’ll have a PADD to witness the testimony.”

* * *

 

Ensign Tilly inhaled and exhaled slowwwwlllly in the waiting room.  She was shaking, obviously, and she wanted nothing more than to vomit. Whether from nerves, Willa or both, she couldn’t say. There was only Michael, Paul Stamets, Dr. Pollard and Galen, the Tolerian medic in the room. Everyone else had been ordered to leave by Dr. Pollard as Tilly had become increasingly nervous with the loud support from her friends.  

Paul had managed to bully his way into the room and Tilly had latched on him for support.

“Drink this,” Galen ordered. He handed her his trusty Tilly Tolerian Milkshake ™, so she accepted it. “Drink it slowly.”

“What’s in that concoction?” Pollard asked, even as Tilly slowly drank it. 

“Assorted vitamins, an herbal supplement or three, assorted minerals and essentials elements,” Galen explained. “It will help straighten out her blood chemistry.”

Plus, there was a neuroblocker so she could lie, lie, lie and no one would ever know. 

“It tastes like chocolate.” Tilly then added helpfully, “If you added a wee bit of espresso to it, it would be  **_perfect_ ** .”

Those that knew Tilly very well, groaned.

“Yes, a splash of cocoa helps make the medicine go down. My people have developed a taste for it, so we grow our own cocoa beans. And no, no espresso for you. Not until I clear you,” Galen informed Tilly.

“Or I do,” Dr. Pollard inserted.  “When she comes back to the Discovery, she’ll be  **_my_ ** patient, Healer.”

“Unless we convince her to run away with us?” Galen retorted. He faced Tilly and offered, “My family is more than willing to invite you or Nessa to join us.”

“No,  _ no _ ,  **_no_ ** ,” Paul protested. He had lost Hugh, and he wasn’t letting Tilly go anywhere without a fight. “She’s staying with  **_us_ ** .”

“Nevertheless, the offer is extended,” was Galen’s soft retort.

“I’ll make my decision after this trial is over,” Tilly explained. “If the judges believe Captain Pike, I’ll want to leave, so I’ll need a place to land.”

There was a spark of protest from her Discovery family but Tilly waved her hands in a plea for them to shut up.

Commander Saru entered the waiting room and he nodded his time. “It is time, Ensign Tilly.”

She stood and instinctively straightened her hair and her jacket.  Galen had assured her that she wasn’t showing at all, not yet, but these damn uniforms clung. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Galen shake his head, once.

“How is the trial going?” she asked.

“Captain Pike is having severe difficulties in giving up control,” Saru snipped. “It is a good lesson to learn. The consensus is that he was too incapacitated by drugs to be a reliable witness.”

Tilly laughed, a nervous twitter of a laugh, but still a laugh.

* * *

 

Una was in the brig with Chris, who protested angrily about Tilly testifying. 

“One more complaint out of you, I leave. I will take the PADD away,” Una threatened.

“I’m worried about her,” Pike confessed. “Saru has never been before a Board of Inquiry as counsel.”

This train of thought was nothing new to Una.

“We agreed that Saru would be the better one to cross examine her,” Una reminded him. “You feared that I would further traumatize Tilly.”

“I never said that,” protested Pike. It was a quick and automatic response. It was also partially true. 

“You thought it,” Una reminded him. 

* * *

 

“Hello, Ensign,” the blue Andorian Commodore bequeathed her a very warm smile. “This hearing is being held to investigate what exactly happened on the Janus. Captain Pike has notified us of his concerns and we’re investigating everything. Just be honest and speak freely, everything will be fine.”

Tilly nodded.

“Captain Mendez will ask you questions.  Commander Saru will also question you, while the three of us may ask for clarification or further expansion on some of your answers. May we start?”

Tilly nodded. 

The questions started off easy. What she remembered including events on certain dates and reviews of particular events as they unfolded.  Then Captain Mendez stepped up to her and stated, “Captain Pike said something that had us very concerned. He said…”

“Captain Pike and I did not have sex,” Tilly interrupted.

Everyone turned to face the cerebral mapping device and it remained a constant steady flicker of activity.

Mendez continued to stare at her, and then he asked another question.

“Were you intimate with Captain Pike?”  Mendez questioned.

“I just said we did not have sex,” Tilly reminded him, even as Saru objected.

“Can you please advise us what your direction of questioning is?” Garan asked.

“I play poker,” Jose explained. “I’m pretty good at it, though I don’t play for chits or credits.  Sometimes, it’s for chocolate, sometimes, it is for pretzels and once or twice it was for a weekend swap. When you play poker often, like I do, you get pretty good at summing up your fellow card players. Who has a good hand, who has a fantastic hand, whose hand will have them working the weekend, and… there are those who throw a card game for personal reasons? Saving a Captain’s career, perhaps?” 

He glanced at the cerebral mapping device when he made his last statement. There was the slightest tremor in the device.

“Ensign Tilly,” he stated softly. “I’m not phrasing the question properly, so you are skirting the answers.  You’re not lying, but you’re not telling me the whole truth.”

Silence.

“Was the woman who now knows herself to be Ensign Sylvia Tilly ever forced to have sexual relations with the man who know knows himself to be Captain Christopher Pike.”

“NO,” Tilly stated. She leaned forward and stated it again, “NO. He’s not that type of man.”

“I confess that I must agree with you on that,” Mendez agreed easily.  “Let me rephrase my question then. In different terms, is the woman who knows herself to be Ensign Tilly, trying so desperately to protect Christopher Pike, because they had a consensual sexual relationship?”

“No,” she whispered.

Mendez didn’t bother to look at the device, because the loud inhalation of the Andorian Commodore was enough. 

“Then tell me the truth,” Mendez requested.

“It happened once,” Tilly explained. 

“Once?” Mendez repeated.

“I promoted the idea that we were lovers, so everyone would stay clear of me.  Even Chris thought we were lovers, but he’d fall asleep in bed before we did anything more than cuddle. The Breen convinced him he was a Tolerian War Lord, it was easy for them to convince him that we were fucking every night. They wanted to use me as a reminder for Captain Pike to behave, because if he didn’t, they’d kill me.”

“Do you really anticipate that I’ll believe that you and Christopher Pike only had sex once?”  Mendez didn’t bother to hide his disbelief. “I don’t believe in fairy tales or fables.”

“Look at the device. It says I’m telling the truth. Her voice shook then steadied as she continued, “The one time was after DelRosso died, and he knew that he was Captain Pike. We weren’t sure who I was, because I wasn’t listed in the outdated Federation database.  He was struggling, hard, with what had happened and that was the one night he didn’t fall asleep when we cuddled.”

Tilly bit her lip, and she continued softly, “We made love.”

Mendez said nothing.

“I was so happy that night, because… he was… sweet… and affectionate. It was just the one night and I thought I was a human raised by Tolerians who had in turn been captured by the Breen. I didn’t realize I was a Starfleet Ensign, that he was my commanding officer, and neither did he. That night, he was wracked with guilt about DelRosso… about Devins…”

She lowered her head. “You can ask him, and he’ll tell you, like he told me; he only fucked me because of the drugs.”

Tilly turned towards the cerebral mapping device, even as tears rolled down her face. 

“As you can see, I’m telling you the truth by how the device is reacting. Christopher Pike fucked me because he was drugged and not in his right mind.”

* * *

 

“Chris?” Una questioned. “Talk to me.”

She had been Chris’ Executive Officer long enough to know Chris extremely well. She had witnessed his grief and depression after Rigel VII, his anger after being captured by the Talosians and every emotion in between. Hell, she had even seen him drunk more than once.

But this inwardly directed rage was new. He had thrown the PADD hard enough to crack its case after Tilly had announced her proclamation. 

**_Christopher Pike had fucked her only because he was drugged._ **

He was  **_furious_ ** . Not at Tilly, but at himself.

“Chris, I wasn’t aware that she was testifying,” Una assured him.  She wasn’t sure if Pike could hear her; he had gone inwards on her. 

There was a knock on the door and Commander Saru stepped into the brig. “They’re ready for Captain Pike.”

A mute Chris held out his hands and Saru shook his head. “Per the court, there is no need for you to be handcuffed.”

* * *

 

Chris blew his testimony as his roiling emotions got the better of him. Even when he spoke the truth about his relationship with Tilly, his internal turmoil registered as falsehoods and lies so they couldn’t get a baseline reading on him.

“You have to believe me, Ensign Tilly is lying out of a perverted sense of loyalty, Jose,” he insisted. “She needs help to recover from the emotional trauma of what happened on the Janus. We had sex just about every single night. She may claim it was just cuddling, but bluntly, it was full penis/vagina penetration. She was drugged and in no condition to consent to what occurred.”

The cerebral mapping device was lit up like the night sky.

“I am  **_not_ ** lying,” Pike protested.

“Can you please verify that you told Ensign Tilly that you never would have had sex with her if it was for the fact that you were drugged?” Jose asked.

“I didn’t mean it the way I said it. I apologized,  **_repeatedly_ ** ,” he protested. 

Everyone looked at the cerebral mapping device. Except for Chris, because he knew that that the entire case against him had been derailed by a certain auburn-haired ensign and her merry and very motley crew.

After all, Tilly knew him very, very well.  She knew exactly how to cause him to self-destruct. 

“That’s the first honest statement from you, Captain Pike,” Mendez announced. 

She had just willingly destroyed her career for him. 

The summation speeches were short, simple and concise and he knew that he’d be exonerated. 

Fucking hell, he’d probably get a medal out of it.

* * *

 

The deliberation was quick, too quick for Chris’ taste. That meant overwhelming evidence in favor of his guilt or his innocence. They had barely managed to cram the Janus crew into the court room when the Judges returned to announce their verdict.

He stood, hands behind his back. Head held high.

The judges thanked Mendez, Saru and Una for providing counsel. They thanked the Janus crew for bearing witness in what had to a very traumatic case for them. They probably thanked the chairs for providing a safe place to sit, as Pike had completed tuned them out by then.

He was fucking getting acquitted. He could tell by the way the judges acted and how the security guards were vigilant yet relaxed. 

“On the charges against Christopher Pike regarding sexual coercion of a junior officer under his command, the court finds there is no evidence to support further investigation,” Tovan announced.

The Janus crew cheered loudly and out of the corner of his eye; he saw Tilly smile. She smiled even though her career was destroyed, because the taint of her confession would follow her everywhere.  Among the fleet, she'd be forever known as Pike's slut.

“On the charges regarding the deaths of crew members under his command, we find that those crew members’ deaths were the direct result of enemy combat. Commander DelRosso had a significant injury prior to his death, and while it may have been aggravated by what occurred on the Janus, we can not confirm that it led directly to his death. The two autopsies that were provided were unable to confirm this.”

The Janus crew chanted, “Pike, Pike, Pike!”

The judges were lenient and permitted the Janus crew’s celebration until they settled down.

“At this time, the court releases Captain Pike from its jurisdiction.”

More cheers and he was given hearty handshakes, hugged, kissed… and was quite possibly groped.  The ruckus threatened to overwhelm him, so he left the courtroom at a fast pace. He was followed, and with his ground eating lope that meant one man.

“Saru,” he announced even as he stared out at the stars. “What can I do for you?” 

Silence, so Chris turned to face him.

Saru appeared embarrassed and Pike motioned for him to speak. Saru held a PADD in one hand and then he hesitantly handed it to Captain Pike.

“Ensign Tilly requested a transfer off the Discovery,” Saru informed him.

Pike hit “DENIED DUE TO PERSONNEL’S UNIQUE TALENTS BEING VITAL TO THE MISSION” and signed it.

“Denied,” he stated curtly. 

“The Command Training Program?” Saru questioned. “She cannot continue with it, not while you’re in charge of it.”

No, she couldn’t, for obvious reasons.  A somber Pike nodded his head once. 

**_And so, Sylvia, you are beginning to pay the far too high cost for your actions._ **

 “Advise Ensign Tilly that she is being temporarily removed from the Command Training Program,  **_without prejudice_ ** . Once I leave the Discovery, she can return to it. For now, I need an update on those damn red things, Commander.” 

 


	30. Chapter 30

The hearing a fait accompli, the mass funeral for the Janus crew was held next.  It was a multi-cultural extravaganza. The funeral was overwhelming and loud… and afterwards, there were holograms of various deceased crew members that played jazz and there were the obligatory Tolerian drums while Vaya keened a traditional lament for the dead. The Life Celebration was …. thunderous…  and threatened to engulf Tilly, so she made her escape as quickly as possible.

Some place private, some place quiet…. Some place that was currently occupied by one Captain Christopher Pike who was deep in introspection.

He glanced briefly at her, his eyes and face expressionless and then he turned on his heel.

Without a word.

Not a single, solitary word.

But for a moment, the briefest moment--if she hadn’t witnessed it, she never would have believed it-- his eyes had blazed in pure fury. 

Directed not towards her, but inwards. 

“Captain?”  she whispered.  That amount of rage wasn’t healthy. 

He stopped before the closed door and exhaled, sounding as weary as Tilly felt. 

“I wish you hadn’t done what you did on the stand. Your career for mine is not an even trade,” Pike stated. “And it’s certainly something that I would never have agreed to.”

“And you taking the blame for everything? Was that a better idea?” she asked. 

“Yes.” Christopher stated quietly. 

“So why didn’t you let me transfer?” was Tilly’s next question. “I had to find out from Commander Saru that you refused my request. He also had to tell me that I’m out of the CTP.”

“Temporarily,” Pike reminded her.  “Saru offered to tell you as he thought it would be better coming from him. Did he mention Singh’s coming onto the Discovery for a while, and he’s been inserted into the program?”

She considered Nirav a dear friend, but it had hurt to be replaced by him. Nirav had been apologetic, but she had struggled to be an adult. It was an excellent opportunity for him, and evidence had certainly proven that he was qualified.  Plus, she had one reason growing bigger by the day as to why she would have to leave the program. 

“You should have let me transfer,” Tilly repeated.

“I think I’ve already taken away enough from you; I couldn’t take your family, too. You being transferred would have just started the salacious rumors flying.” Pike explained. “I tried to transfer back to the Enterprise. Cornwell refused.”

He still wasn’t looking at her, so she reached over and squeezed his hand. He still stared at the door, but she felt him squeeze her hand back before he released it. 

“How is Chris doing? Tell Captain Pike to go take a fucking hike,” Tilly stated. “I want to speak to Chris.”

“Ensign, did you just tell your Captain to take a fucking hike? First of all, language, secondly, do you have any idea how often I have heard that particular piece of advice?” Captain Pike quipped.

It was an attempt to put distance between them, and she wasn’t having any of that nobility shit.

“Chris, how are you doing?” she repeated.

“I hate the drumming. I hate the jazz. I hate everything out there because we’re all pretending that this is a celebration. It’s not.  Far too many people died, and there is blood on my hands. Those… kids… on the Janus think I’m some sort of hero…”

Tilly laughed. A soft laugh, and he turned to face her. He appeared vaguely perturbed by her giggle which made her laugh harder. 

“Not everyone thinks you’re a hero. Nessa blames her future life of painful, lonely celibacy on you,” Tilly offered.  “She’s still limping, and her tail is crooked. Apparently, tails are very important in the courting rituals of her people and it’s now crooked. Dancing is part of the ritual also.”

“Not my fault,” Chris protested. “It was one of the crazy Tolerians who fell on top of her.”

She shook her head. “I saw the video. It was your size 12 boots that sentenced her to a very lonely life.”

“No,” he protested. “I did not sentence Nessa to a nunnery. Besides, weren’t she and Vaya busy promoting interstellar good will? Or was it… Bryce… their Bryce the Mad Bomber…not our Ronald Bryce… Might have been Mikkos. Or Galen. Or all four of them.”

“No, it was just a lot of flirtation between her and the Tolerian males.” 

They were quiet for a while and then Chris asked quietly, “How are you doing, really?”

“My skin feels too tight,” she offered. “I feel… overwhelmed… by the noise.  Michael startled me, and I almost screamed.”

“After Talos, my claustrophobia jumped into overdrive,” Chris stated quietly. He was a thousand light years away when he spoke. “Took some time for me to regain control of it.”

“Talos?” Tilly repeated.

“I was captured by aliens, and they planned on me being the founding father of a race of slaves,” Pike admitted softly. “I have to figure out what is so wrong with me that aliens fuck with my head and give me a beautiful woman to distract me. That seems to be a very serious character flaw.”

On one hand, he had indirectly called her beautiful, but she could sense that he wasn’t saying everything.

“What was her name?” Tilly asked. 

“Vina.”  Pike closed his eyes and exhaled. Loudly.  Tilly thought it best to let him collect his thoughts, so she waited. “I thought she was nothing more than an illusion designed to tempt me. I reacted… poorly… as I didn’t realize that she was being coerced by the Talosians. She was far more their victim than I was. I should have been kinder to her, but I took my anger at the Talosians out on her. Hopefully, the next time I get captured by aliens and they fuck with my head, I will not be such a goddamn prick to anyone who is forced to deal with me.”

Chris retreated into silence and she bit her lip not to jump in.  She was learning, slowly, that sometimes, it was better to keep her mouth shut.  She wanted to protest that he had been very kind to her during their ordeal but… he wouldn’t hear it.  Chris sometimes got so wound up in his inner thoughts and dilemmas that he wouldn’t accept any type of reassurance.

Though it was hard, so hard!  She had help him shoulder his burdens on the Janus, but now, they were back to the way it once was. Captain. Ensign. A thousand light years between them. 

“What I’m trying to say is, it’s normal to feel strange in your own skin after what you’ve been through. You know Wallace down in engineering?” Pike waited for her to nod her head. “Whenever I see him out of the corner of my eye, for a split second, I think he’s… Emerson… haunting me.”

Tilly tilted her head, pictured Wallace and compared him to the hologram she had seen of Emerson.  The deceased XO of the Janus had been short and wiry with a shock of grizzled black hair and his posture could best be described as a coiled spring, compact and ready to spring into action. “There is a resemblance. It’s the hair and the way Wallace stands. Did you know Emerson?” Tilly asked.

“No, but I read his logs.  Very meticulous. I think I would have liked having him as my XO. Don’t tell Una, Saru, Vaya or Nirav.” For a moment, Pike smiled, like the old Pike, over having that many XOs. Then his smile faded away.

“They’ve formed their own little club, and have their own secret handshake, you know,” Tilly offered. “I think they’re having T-shirts made. I think they’re calling themselves The Babysitters of Christopher Pike club.”

“Saru?” Pike questioned. He didn’t bother to hide his doubt.

“Your Enterprise XO told him he was doing it.” 

Pike flashed her a quick grin and nodded his head. “She would. I should have realized that she'd take on corrupting Commander Saru as a personal challenge.”

They were quiet and then Pike exhaled. Slowly.  “Sylvia, what are you hiding from me?” he asked.

She floundered for a moment, and then she turned away from him. It was easier to lie to him when she was looking at him. “I’m disappointed that I didn’t get the traditional breakup kiss, just to prove we parted on good terms,”

Pike made a noise, one of disbelief or amusement, she couldn’t tell which. 

“Traditional breakup kiss? God, I am old,” he teased. He then turned serious, “Jose’s right. Your bluff needs work.  Whatever it is, it’s big, and you’re trying to work it out on your own. Sometimes, you need to talk to someone, and when you’re ready, I’ll listen. Promise.”

He then leaned in slightly and gently buzzed her on her cheek.

“There, tradition is maintained.” His smile was crooked but his eyes were bleak.  “I need to get back out there. I have to track down Nirav Singh and determine what a Sikh-Deltan wedding exactly entails so I have some idea what to do in two days.”

“Chris?” she whispered as she turned away from him.  “If I could talk to you about it, I would. I just... “

“You can just say the words,” Chris offered. “Then whatever is bothering you is released out into the open. Don’t collapse under the weight of it.”

She shook her head, even as her eyes filled with tears.  To her surprise, she felt Chris embrace her. He was warm, solid…. Comforting… He hugged her and then he brushed a kiss on the top of her head.

“Talk to Michael, talk to Saru, talk to Kat even. There is nothing that she hasn’t heard, at least twice already.”

That advice given, he then released her.  

He tilted his head and reminded her to think on what he had said before he left the room.

“I should tell him,” she whispered.

 **_No, you shouldn’t,_ ** May informed her. 

“You’re back?” Tilly yelped. 

**_I’m here, and I’ll always be here. Unlike your captain, who just seeded you and left. I think he’s ashamed of you. I’m not, as you’re my best friend and we’ll be together… forever… soon._ **

* * *

 

Christopher Pike returned to the Discovery with Tilly and a few crew members from the Janus in tow. They were technically Enterprise crew members, but he had stolen acquired them.   They were beamed on board the Discovery by Commander Burnham and Pike smiled at the small welcoming committee.  He noticed that both Burnham and Saru appeared startled but then they quickly smoothed their faces into ones of welcome. 

He had noticed that the young Deltan was uneasy, which mean she was flooding the area with Deltan pheromones. Last thing he needed was to have a fight break out over her, so the welcoming party had been limited to Saru and Burnham. Fortunately, Ylsa had deemed him safe (OLD) so she was  no longer triggered by him. 

“Commander Saru, Commander Burnham, it’s good to be back,” Pike stated.  He stepped off the transporter pad and motioned for the others to follow him. When he turned to face ‘the kids’, he realized the problem. Tilly appeared very drawn, a turbaned Singh, who finally had a uniform that fit but his posture spoke of man walking to his own execution,  a unnerved Ylsa who had clutched her husband’s hand for reassurance, and there was a set of medical whites with nobody apparently wearing them. “Dr. Nessa? You’re phasing out. I just see your uniform.” s

Saru stepped forward and began speaking in Chistorian. He chattered away and then held out his hands.  Nessa responded in kind and Saru nodded his head. He spoke again and then tilted his head towards Captain Pike.

“It’s the temperature variation due to beaming. The phasing is an Autonomic Nervous System reaction, so she should start appearing shortly when her body readjusts to the temperature. We have her quarters prepared at a lovely 45C,” Saru explained.

There was a trill of appreciation and for the first time that day, Pike saw Singh smile. 

“We’ve cleared the hallways to your quarters, so you aren’t overwhelmed.  We rearranged quarters so the Janus crew members will be next door to each other, plus you will be in the same corridor as Ensign Tilly.  I thought a familiar face during your transitional period would be beneficial for all. If you can come with me, I’ll show you where you will be living during your time with us. I’ll set up your orientation schedule tomorrow, but for now, you probably want to settle into your quarters.”

“It won’t take much time,” Ylsa demurred softly. “We lost everything we had on the Janus.”

“Prime Vaya sent over several boxes for each of you,” Saru offered. “They are in your quarters.”

Pike chuckled, “I think you all got adopted when you weren’t looking.”

* * *

 

Pike motioned for Tilly to join Saru’s group, and waited for them to leave. That done, he bobbed his head towards Michael so they could walk towards his office.  He noticed that the corridors were suspiciously empty as they had been cleared, also. 

“Is Ensign Tilly still rooming with you?” Pike questioned.

Michael nodded, “Of course. Though she has several boxes in our quarters, so she might need me to move out so she can have additional space for all her new belongings. It seems that the Tolerians adopted her also.”

Pike flashed a quick grin and then turned serious. 

“I know that you will do this anyway, but as a personal favor, I want you to keep an eye on her. If you notice anything, notify Saru immediately. The only thing more important than that is those damn red things. Any updates?” 

“No, we have engineering reviewing the formulas that the Tolerian Prime hallucinated.”  Michael was a purist, and the idea that the scientific breakdown had been possibly produced by near asphyxia obviously rankled her. 

“He doesn’t even remember anything about meeting the Red Angel.  It’s completely blocked…” Pike then paused and stopped. “I saw it. The Red Angel.”

“It wasn’t in any of your reports,” Michael exclaimed. “What happened?”

“It was a weird sensation, as though everything was going to be ok. If my father had been there, he’d probably declare it a heavenly messenger delivering tidings of great joy to the universe. It wasn’t that, it was… personal… as though it knew me and wanted to reassure me that no matter what, it would all work out.”

Pike shook his head and then continued walking. “The senior staff is in the ready room?”

“Yes, Sir. We kept everything the way you left it,” Michael assured him. “We knew you’d be back.”

Pike shook his head. “You sure you’re not the Red Angel? You both seem awfully optimistic.”

“We knew that both of you would be back,” Michael’s firm conviction made him smile.

“That we are, worse for wear, and with more gray in my hair, but we’re back.”

"Some people believe the gray makes you look distinguished," Michael offered a bit too snarkily to be helpful.

"It makes me look old, Burnham."

* * *

 

His senior staff stood outside his ready room.

“Welcome back, Sir!” “Welcome back!” was the chorus of greetings. 

He nodded his head, too overcome with emotions to speak and then he entered his ready room.

It was like… coming home. The vases were still there, the Remington statues had been recently dusted and... the blanket was just as he had left it. 

“Everything’s the same,” he whispered. 

“We utilized the room for a conference area, but we did not touch anything,” Burnham explained.

“Actually, you did,” he stated. “I do not remember these being there.” 

He walked over to his bar, and picked up one of the bottles he knew hadn’t been there when he left. It was Draxalian whisky, and there was a handwritten envelope with his name inscribed in archaic script.  He opened the envelope.

**_The universe intends for us to meet again. Until then, accept this with my compliments._ **

**_V_ **

“Compliments of the Tolerian government,” Burnham explained. “So, yes, it appears that you’ve been adopted also.”

“They adopt everyone that doesn’t move fast enough to make an escape. Can everyone take a seat?” Pike requested. “Commander Saru will be joining us shortly. He’s squiring our three temporary crew members to their quarters.”

He waited until everyone sat down and placed the bottle on the table. That done, he turned to face his team. This speech would be difficult, but as he had told Saru a lifetime ago, sometimes the best way to get into a cold stream was to jump right in. 

“I’m sure you are all aware of the recent hearing and its findings. Now that has been resolved, we need to focus on finding those damn red dots. The most recent sighting was on the Janus just before it exploded. You’ve been given the formulas that the Tolerian Prime scribbled down. He can’t make sense of the them, so I trust that you can.”

“We need a quick course in Tolerian Math, Sir,” Jett explained. “They do base 18 math, while we utilize base 10. I also have no idea what physical constants those symbols represent.”

“Pull Ensign Tilly in. The Breen had downloaded a Tolerian overlay into her brain.  Also, I might be able to help,” Pike offered.

Jett Reno’s twisted lips showed what she thought of that idea. Typical engineering superiority.  So Pike spoke to her, in fluent Tolerian. It was rude, crude and a pointed reminder that she didn’t outrank him so to get to work. Actually, he channeled one of this favorite Tolerian warlords and threatened to space her ass sans drums. 

Jett’s jaw dropped when the universal translator interpreted it for her.

“Understand that translation was cleaned up considerably, Commander.” He added that saucy comment with a dimpled half-smile. "If necessary, I can help you translate the formula, but for now, please utilize Ensign Tilly."

“I’ll get right on it, Sir!” She promised as she bolted out the door. 

“Owo and Detmer, I need you two to mentor Singh and Ylsa. Work with them, mentor them and most importantly, don’t underestimate them. Singh is both ingenious and dangerous as he managed to completely subvert the Breen attempts to reverse engineer the Janus for six months.  Naturally, he had a great deal of assistance from Ylsa and Dr. Nessa, but he was key to the Breen's failure. Any concerns, bring them to me. Will there be a problem with Ylsa being Deltan?” Pike asked.

He knew that the two of them were **_together_ **, but he was smart enough not to comment on it. The two women glanced at each other and, by God, they both blushed.

“We should be... fine, Sir,” Owo promised. 

“Dr. Pollard, same goes with your new doctor, except I want her kept at a proper temperature. She nearly died from hypothermia on the Janus, so make sure she’s wearing her warming suit.”

“And I won’t underestimate her, I understand Phil is still on the concussion protocol,” Pollard mentioned.

Pike smiled as he remembered with fondness the ‘tongue lashing’ Nessa had given his old CMO.  His only regret, he had missed witnessing it first, as he had been in the brig. Una had been very impressed and had somehow managed to acquire a still of Boyce's lone boot on the conference table while Nessa had appeared quite pleased with herself.  “Very well then, if there aren’t any questions, with the exception of Stamets and Burnham, you’re all dismissed.”

The others shuffled out and Pike sat down at the table. 

“I need you two to keep an eye on Ensign Tilly. Any problems, you will report them to Saru. I am relying heavily on him to take point on Tilly. He will involve me as he deems necessary. I think we can agree that it is best for Ensign Tilly if I recuse myself from whatever interactions I can. Any questions?” Pike asked.

“No,” the two chimed in unison. 

“Dismissed.”

That just left a continuation of his conversation with Saru. He needed to be brought up to speed on the current status of the crew and anything else that he needed to know **_yesterday_ **.  But for now, perhaps a nip of whisky would help.

After a three-hour meeting with Saru, he called it a day, month, year, life. Whatever.  Fortunately, Saru was quite fond of Ensign Tilly, though the Kelpien admitted that he feared that he’d never be able to break her of her habit of cursing. He’d keep an eye on her and would inform Captain Pike of any issues.

“Thank you. She’s rather… unique,” Pike offered that slowly.

“That she is,” Saru stated proudly, before he plaintively added, “If she would just stop swearing!”

That thought made Pike chuckle as he returned back to his quarters.   Until he ran into the very person he was struggling so desperately to avoid, about to use the same turbolift.

“I’ll take the steps,” he stated. Or at least he tried, because he noticed that she seemed very pale. “You don’t look well.”

“I haven’t really eaten anything since this morning,” she admitted.  “Well, technically it was yesterday morning.”

Well, Burnham would hear about this tomorrow morning.  Or this morning.

“It’s two hours into gamma shift.  Go to the Mess Hall,” he ordered. “Second thought, I’m escorting you.”

She protested, and he shook his head. “Last thing we both need is for you to faint. Because the rumors that you’re pregnant with triplets would spread faster than light speed.  You and I can, and must, have conversations in public spaces, else people will believe that we’re hiding something. They still will, but at least I won’t act like I’m ashamed. I would not disrespect you like that.”

“Triplets?” Tilly murmured.

So sweet, so sincere, Tilly thought. That was Chris.  But really… **_triplets_ **… her belly rebelled at that thought.

“I’ve always been told I’m an overachiever,” he said with a smirk and a shrug of his shoulders.

Bit of a smart ass, also. That was most assuredly Chris. 

He stopped in front of the mess hall and he pointed at the entrance.

“Go eat. You lost weight on the Janus and you’re not eating now. You look tired, and you need to get some rest. See you later today, Ensign.”

With that, he left, and she was alone. 

* * *

 

Next morning. 

Chris was running a bit late as he had managed to catch his father for a quick chat. A quick chat had turned into a longer conversation, as Josh provided a much-needed sounding board and an absolution of Chris’ sins. Well, yes, the Pike Pardon was a stern, “You’ve got work to do, so do your best” but it was something. Josh, at least, understood Chris' unhappiness over Tilly's decision to destroy her career for him.  The others glibly assured him that her confession would be forgotten. It wouldn't. It would be brought up at the worst possible times in her career. Definitely it would be mentioned when she went for lieutenant, junior grade. 

 “Captain on the bridge,” announced Lt. Singh when Pike stepped off the turbo lift.

The crew shot to attention, everyone standing just so and Pike nodded an easy acknowledgement of their respect.

“Lt. Singh, I appreciate you not utilizing the boatswain whistle. At ease, everyone. It’s good to be back.  Ensign Ylsa, I would like you to plot a course to…” He paused and then rattled off coordinates. 

“Sir?” Ylsa questioned nervously. 

“Detmer, if you would be so kind as to permit Ylsa the use of your station. Owo, please permit Singh to take your seat.” Pike directed his next comments to Singh and Ylsa.  “In the two months or so that I’ve known you, I have noted that you both have an innate talent for insurrection, mutiny and plotting. Now, I want to see your other talents. Ylsa, please plot a course and get us there. Feel free to be creative.”

With a head bob and a shoulder shrug, Pike sat down in the Captain’s chair. He noticed that there was a tumbler of hot coffee waiting for him. He took a hesitant sip and then swallowed. It was black, no cream, no sugar, just the way he liked it. There were hints of cocoa, and a few other tastes that he’d have to further investigate slowly. It was probably the best damn cup of coffee he’d had in the last six months. Definitely the best he’d had in the last two months. 

“Lt. Singh, is this your doing?” He asked.  “Is this a Janus tradition?”

Singh appeared uneasy, as though he had overstepped. He’d had only seven or weeks with Tanaka before all hell had broken loose.

“Yes, Sir. Commander Emerson always ensured that a crew member had Captain Tanaka’s tea waiting for her when she came on shift.”

“It’s not necessary, but I appreciate the thought. Let me know when the course is laid in.” He swiveled in his chair to confirm who was in what position and then he stood. 

He took the tumbler, naturally, as it would be a shame to let the coffee go to waste. 

First stop Owo and Detmer. Both seemed a little concerned about the two rookies in their seats. Meanwhile, the two junior officers formerly of the Janus leaned together as they discussed his request to plot a course. He had to watch that. Were they too reliant on each other, or were they just being good team players?

He spoke to Owo and Detmer softly so not to be overheard. “My apologies, Officers. I need to figure out their skill sets as quickly as possible, boost their self-confidence in their ability as Star Fleet officers as opposed to mutineers. I also need to determine if they are actually capable of working separately.”

Owo and Detmer both nodded their heads. 

“Captain Pike, course laid in. We should be there in two hours thirteen minutes.”

At Detmer’s arched eyebrow of surprise at the estimate, Pike questioned, “Did you just merrily break the laws of physics? We try not to do that here on a daily basis.”

“As the Xanthaxian System is currently uninhabited, we can use the outermost planet as a gravitational slingshot,” the Deltan offered.

“Excellent, we need to make up for lost time, but no time travel, Ensign,” Pike reminded her.  “Twice is enough; I would really prefer not to do that again. Let’s take it slow once around the Space station, Ensign before we give the Discovery free rein. It’s been a few months since I’ve been on a Starfleet vessel that was capable of warp drive. I need to get my feet wet.”

“Twice?” Saru questioned. 

“Might have been more,” Pike admitted dryly as he sat down in the Captain’s chair.  “Temporal loops and all. Take us out, Ensign, one quarter impulse and take a leisurely circle around the base, please.”

* * *

 

Tilly watched Ylsa as the ensign plotted the course.  The Deltan was quite nervous and she double checked, no, triple checked her calculations.  Tilly knew that feeling all too well, as she was tensed and crouched next to her station.

 **_Don’t worry, Stilly. Everything will be just fine._ ** May chirped.  Her nervous breakdown had manifested itself and taken form, and had decided to sit right next to her. May smiled brightly before she began to click diligently at the various buttons.

“Not that one,” hissed Tilly. 

“I beg your pardon?” Saru questioned.

“Talking to myself a little loud,” Tilly explained. “Sorry. The setup is different than the Janus.”

Saru nodded his head, and May made a big show over not touching THAT button. 

“Very well, we’ve done a nice circular tour of the Starbase 32. We’ve waved goodbye to all of our old friends, plus our new friends the Tolerians,” Pike ordered. He then tapped at the console, “Good morning, this is the Captain. We will be jumping to warp shortly. We need to earn our pay by finding some red signals, and quickly.” 

He clicked off, and announced, “Hit it.”

Ylsa flinched, obviously, and her husband who sat next to her at the conns station, gestured. The message of encouragement from her husband received, the young helmswoman hit the turbo.  Nirav had made only the smallest of signals but Tilly knew Pike had caught it as his eyes narrowed in concern. 

For good reason it seemed, as the ship accelerated from one quarter impulse to warp 7.2 in 3.219 seconds. The consoles lit up, no doubt from every department head who wanted to know what the hell had just happened on the bridge, and fortunately, Pike grabbed his tumbler of coffee before it went starboard. Several crew members weren’t quite as lucky as the inertia dampers were a little overwhelmed by the rapid acceleration.

“Captain, we’re being hailed,” Lt. Ronald Bryce announced after he pulled himself off his console. The rapid acceleration had caught him off guard. Probably because he’d been distracted by a nervous Ensign Ylsa who was shedding Deltan sexual pheromones by the bucketful. 

“Who by?” Pike asked. He knew damn well that he was about to be presented with a speeding violation.

“Pretty much everyone. Commodore Tovan plus the seven Federation ships’ captains that are currently at the station.  The Tolerians also hailed us… well… Ensign Ylsa, actually… and … the Prime’s comment is exceedingly rude.”

Tilly giggled. Pike admitted that her giggle was a good sound as he had missed it. 

“Not surprised,” Pike admitted.  He reviewed the messages and shook his head. “Just advise the Federation hails that we’re trying to make up for lost time plus break a few speed records. In regards to the Tolerian Prime, you will message him, Quote – Prime, stop trying to pilfer my personnel. You’re not getting Ylsa and you’re not getting Singh. Even if you are offering a hundred cases of Draxilian whisky. I am not trading any of my personnel to you. I made that mistake once, not happening again. Eat my space dust. Warmest regards, Chris.  – End of Quote.”

That done, he took a long sip of coffee.  

“Detmer please take over navigation. Commander Saru, you have the bridge. Ensign Ylsa come with me to my ready room, please,” Pike requested. “Arrival in the Xanthaxian system is approximately thirty minutes from now? You’ll be back in the seat by then.”

* * *

 

He entered his ready room and motioned for Ylsa to take a seat. The young Deltan ensign appeared terrified from what he could tell, as she stared at the floor, obvious in her unease. 

“You don’t need to prove to me that you are an excellent navigator, Ensign.  Please take it a little bit easier on the starts, as the Discovery is a science vessel. We don’t want the scientists getting upset because their petri dishes are shattered on the floor. They’ll get pissy as they’ll need to clean up the mess and I’ll have to listen to them.”

“Yes, sir,” Ylsa stated.

“Also… when you have questions or concerns, please address them to me, not to Nirav. I know you have seen me at my absolute worst, but I promise you that I do not normally bludgeon my personnel.  I will attempt not to say ‘Hit it’ when I am talking to you, but understand, that’s just a phrase I’ve picked up over the years. I do not plan on hitting **_you_ **.”

Christ, he had made things worse, as the Deltan almost sank into the floor in abject embarrassment. 

“Even if you did drop me, **_repeatedly_ **,” he added.

“Just the once, Sir,” Ylsa explained.

“I saw the video It was four times, plus the shoulder dislocation Now, you go back in there, and relax. I know you can do this. If I had any doubts, you would not be on my ship, and I would not have requested you for the Enterprise. I only take the best.”

That said, he exhaled. 

“Are you having any problems with the crew?” He asked.

“Everyone has been very polite,” she murmured.

Christ, he had to go there, didn’t he?

“Ensign, are you having problems with any sexually immature members of the crew?” Pike asked. 

She blushed a very rosy color and then murmured, “Dr. Nessa has given me inhibitors, until I am comfortable with the crew.”

“That’s not an answer. If you have problems, notify Burnham, Saru or me. Immediately. Also, I want you to remember that I’m the Captain.”

“Sir?” she protested.  For the first time on the Discovery, she made eye contact with him.

“As the Captain of the Discovery, I assure you that that my office will always be open for you. Now go out there, and scare the shit out of the Discovery crew. You’re dismissed,” Pike informed her, with a smile.

* * *

 

For the next few weeks, Tilly tried to keep her chin up, but it was hard.  She exhausted easily, vomited frequently and peed like a drunken Klingon. Plus, her boobs, always an eye magnet, were bigger. The girls were even more noticeable, as she had lost weight elsewhere. Only a few pounds, but she could tell Pike was cataloging the minutest change in her appearance. Plus, Michael and Stamets were being a little too considerate.  Fortunately, they were chalking up her weight loss as secondary to her emotional ordeal based of their own personal traumatic experiences of lost loves.  On the positive side, it meant that they snuck her spumoni a few times a week. 

“Don’t panic,” Galen informed her on his husband’s confidential, highly encrypted diplomatic channel.  They had worked out a system where their messages were relayed by Queen Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po of Xahea. So they could chat weekly to discuss her latest test results. As a going away present, he had given her a medical scanner. “You’ve only lost a little bit of weight. Your blood levels are right where they should be. Remember small meals, keep taking your vitamins, don’t worry - she’s perfect.”

 “I’m so glad,” she admitted. “I need to tell him. **_Now_ **.”

“You do, and you’ll feel better after you tell him,” Galen promised.

“I don’t think so,” Tilly protested. 

“Have faith in him, Tilly,” was Galen’s parting words.

“I need to tell him,” she whispered.  With shaking hands, she messaged Captain Pike.

 **_TO_ ** _: Christopher J. Pike, Captain_

 **_FROM:_ ** _Sylvia Tilly, Ensign_

 **_SUBJECT_ ** _:  Meeting_

_Captain Pike,_

_May I meet with you at your earliest convenience?_

_Ensign Tilly_

**_You’re making a big mistake. He’ll be furious,_** May singsonged, as once again, the bitch was back. **_I think you should come with me._**

“You’re really sadistic,” Tilly stated. “I’m going to ignore you.”

**_He’ll make you get rid of it.  Well, maybe you should tell him._ **

May’s conflicting advice was making her head spin.

“Why do you even care?” Tilly asked. 

**_I need you to help me and you’ll be useless if you’re waddling around.  What am I saying? You’re utterly useless to me now as you’re just moaning and groaning about Christopher Pike. You dream about him, Stilly! You dream that he’ll be happy and everything will work out perfectly. Seriously, do you think he’ll want to have sex with you when you’re huge? No way in hell.  So those dreams of yours where you’re having sex with him, won’t happen as he’ll be repulsed._ **

**_REPULSED._ **

To Tilly’s horror, Captain Pike responded immediately. Naturally.

 **_TO_ ** _: Sylvia Tilly, Ensign_

 **_FROM_ ** _: Christopher J. Pike, Captain_

 **_SUBJECT_ ** _:  Meeting_

_I’ve cleared and blocked my schedule for the next three hours so you can stop by anytime.  If that’s not good for you, let me know._

_C_

* * *

 

Naturally, she had to vomit. Repeatedly. Then pee.  And then change her uniform and… try to find a way to control her hair.  She had just finished changing in a new, clean and fortunately not too tight uniform, when Michael arrived at their quarters.

“Want to grab something to eat?” a concerned Michael questioned. 

“I have a meeting with Captain Pike. Maybe afterwards?” Tilly suggested.

 **_If he doesn’t throw you out of the airlock_ **, offered May. 

“You have a meeting with Pike?” Michael asked. “May I ask what it is about?”

“Personal,” Tilly admitted.  “About what happened on the Janus. I need to talk to him.”

“That’s good. He’s been really concerned about you, but he’s been trying to give you space,” Michael advised her. Then with a grin, she added, “He even mentioned that you seem to be using significantly less syllables than normal, so he was concerned. We are all worried about you, you’re not eating, you’ve lost weight, you are not sleeping… and you’ve been vomiting a lot.”

“Stress,” Tilly lied. “I just feel really… stressed and nauseous.” 

“Let him help you,” Michael insisted gently. 

“I don’t know if he can.”

“Then let me help you,” Michael prompted. “Maybe we could do a movie tonight? We haven’t done that in a while?”

 **_You won’t be here_ **, taunted May. 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Captain Christopher Pike was having his own concerns.

**_Keep the jacket on? Would that be too formal? Official? Would that cause her to be overwhelmed by the rank difference?  Should I take the jacket off? Or would that be dangerously too informal? Ok, overthinking this, Chris, just unbutton your collar. Should I offer her a drink? No, don’t. Bad. Way too informal. Stand? Sit? Read?  Have a bit of whisky?_ **

**_Yes. Small amount. Not too much. Just a sip._ **

**_Find out what’s going on with her and then march her down to sick bay. She looks exhausted, she’s lost weight and she’s not happily babbling  concepts I can't understand at lightspeed.  No, she’s mumbling to herself a great deal and I don’t like the tone of the snippets I’ve been overhearing. I need to get her to sickbay for a full exam._ **

**_Better not, the crew would notice if I escorted her there._ **

**_Better have Burnham or Saru on standby._ **

**_Yes, that’s a good idea._ **

That done, he closed his eyes and tried to center himself. 

**_Let her talk. Let her speak. Let her be heard._ **

* * *

 

Tilly walked towards Captain Pike’s office. It was time to talk to him, to face the consequences and deal with….  **_Willa_ **. Naturally, May wasn’t having any of that.  She had tagged along and was offering unhelpful advice. 

**_He won’t be happy.  You shouldn’t tell him. You should come with me and you can have her without worrying about him. I just need you to kill a monster first. If you tell him, you won’t be able to HELP me!_ **

Saru, stationed inconspicuously in the corridor, as much as a lean, lanky almost seven-foot-tall Kelpien could fade into the background, noticed Tilly’s agitation and feared for her.  Not that Captain Pike would harm her, but Tilly was obviously distressed.

The ensign paused outside the Captain’s ready room, and the troubled Ensign whispered to herself. Saru couldn’t hear what she whispered, but he could read her lips.

**_Please don’t be angry. Please don’t be angry. Please, please, please don’t be angry._ **

Tilly then pulled herself together with an obvious effort that nearly broke his heart and stepped into the Captain’s ready room. Saru was perhaps too fond of Tilly; he would admit that only to himself. 

“Saru?” Michael whispered as she arrived several minutes later. 

“I think it was very wise for Captain Pike to ask for us to be here,” Saru stated. “I am growing more and more concerned about young Ensign Tilly.”

* * *

 

When Sylvia Tilly entered his ready room, Christopher put the sums together and realized that she was close to a nervous breakdown.  It was the way she stood, the terror in her eyes, and how she literally shook.

“Sylvia? Do you want to sit down?” he questioned softly.  He loosened his posture, attempted to be seen as a friendlier, supportive Pike.

She did and she rubbed her eyes. Hard.

“Please don’t be mad,” she pleaded. Her words were tumbling out of her mouth at a faster than normal speed for the old Tilly, preJanus. Instead of her usual high-spiritedness, there was a desperation in her tone that unnerved him. “Please, please, please, don’t be mad. I didn’t know what to do.”

He placed his hand on the table, towards her. 

“I will never be angry at you.” Tilly might exasperate him, amuse him, confound him on a regular basis, but he would never be angry at her. 

“You will, you will,” Tilly whispered. 

“You’ve needed time to work through what’s troubling you. Why don’t you let me help share the burden?” Pike questioned. He kept his voice level and soft. “Tell me what’s wrong, Sylvia.”

She turned away from him and stared at someone… something..,. he couldn’t see.  Whatever it was, Sylvia was **_terrified_ ** of it.

“I need you to stop **_screaming_ ** at me, May. This is the Captain. This is Captain Pike. I don’t know who the fuck you’re talking about?  Shorter, blonder, much, much whiter Captain? This is the only Captain on the ship. I don’t know what your problem is, or why you think screaming at me will help. You’ve tricked me, you’ve lied to me, pretended that you were my friend, so SHUT UP!” Tilly stated loudly. 

A horrified Tilly put her hands over her mouth and shook her head even as she turned to Pike. “No, no, no. That wasn’t directed to you, Sir. It was directed towards May…”

“Who is May?” he asked softly.

“She’s… She’s…” Tilly turned paler and whispered, “It’s someone… you… can’t… see…. Can you?”

Tilly was on the edge and desperate in her need to be believed. 

“Tell me about her,” he requested. “Tell me about May.”

“Someone I once knew, but… she’s dead… she was meek and…. kind of goofy when she was younger… but… she’s gotten really nasty since she died… Yes, you really are **_nasty_ ** , and don’t you say **_that_ ** about him. I won’t let you say that about him. He's a good man, don't you say that about him." After her strident and undeserved defense of him, Tilly then began sobbing softly, “I think I’m losing my mind. Can you please help me… please … **_Chris_ **?”

He reached for her hand and squeezed it, hard. 

Sylvia had started acting… odd… after they had hitched a ride with the Tolerians. He had chalked it up to her very unhappy realization that she had been involved with him… but had there been something else that had been troubling her? Something that she had been hiding from him, no matter how he tried to convince her to share her concerns with him. 

“Of course, I’ll help you. We need to find out who or what May truly is. When did you start seeing her? Was it on the Discovery or the Janus? Was it after the tachyon burst on the Janus?”   

Tilly nodded and Pike remembered the little girl with dark curly hair who had appeared to him then. 

“I saw someone also, Sylvia, but… it hasn’t decided to show up and haunt me.”

A little white lie as the little girl had popped in once to promise him that everything would be ok and that she wasn’t a brain sucking alien spider.  She had… felt real… so who was to say that she really hadn’t been real? He took a quick, instinctive look around his ready room to confirm that it was still child-free as it had been one of those days. 

Nope, no little girl slash brain sucking alien spiders in sight.  

He tapped at the comm and then ordered crisply, “Captain Pike to Lt. Singh. Do a full scan of the ship and confirm how many life signs are onboard this ship.” 

His belief in Tilly’s invisible ‘friend’ increased her agitation instead of calming her.

Tilly shook her head and mouthed, “No, no, no.”

The very efficient Singh took longer than he anticipated. “Sir, I remodulated the scanners as I was getting a weird echo. I’m currently picking up 213 confirmed life signs on this ship. However, the ship’s posted roster is…”

“212,” Pike and Singh announced together.

“Lt. Singh, how many life signs are in my ready room?” Pike questioned.

“Three,” Singh announced. “There’s something…. off… about the third one, Sir. It’s like it’s not really there. The vital signs are faint and fast and a devil to pick up from the background noise.”

“Please, please, please, don’t be mad. I wanted to tell you, I swear I wanted to tell you, I just… I didn’t know how to tell you,” Tilly whispered.

“Commander Saru, you have command of the vessel. Commander Burnham, I need you in my ready room immediately though I fear you may have to be beamed in. Commander Nhan, we have an unauthorized intruder on board. Initiate lockdown Pike 37 Alpha Zeta Gamma Tango.” 

That done, Pike exhaled softly and blamed himself for not getting involved sooner. 

“So… this is why you’ve been acting the way you have,” Pike murmured. “Sylvia, you should have to come to me the moment she appeared.”

“I thought I was going crazy,” Tilly whispered. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

Pike leaned towards her and squeezed both her hands. **_Hard_ **. He looked into her frightened eyes and he mustered as much confidence as he could.   “I promise you…we’ll find out who little Miss 213 is… I will find out what she wants… why she chose you and… I will get rid of her… I swear to you.”

His heartfelt reassurance caused Sylvia to weep even harder, as though her heart was broken. He didn’t know what to do, wondered what Phil’s resolution to this mess would be.

Then the answer came to him, sans Red Angel and various heavenly hosts--Phil Boyce’s response to every emotional trauma.

**_Grain alcohol._ **

* * *

 

Tilly’s mind spun, wildly in circles even while May screamed about how much she hated Pike and the shorter, blonder, much, much whiter Captain, and she wailed about deadly monsters even as all Tilly could focus on was that Chris had promised her; that he’d rid of her of little Miss 213. 

It would be common knowledge soon that she had gotten knocked up by Christopher Pike… 

“Here, I want you to sip this,” Chris informed her. 

She took the glass and drank it quickly. Far too quickly; she coughed and coughed as the fiery liquid burned her throat.

“Fuck,” cursed Pike. “You were supposed to sip that, not toss it back like it was water. Come on, let me help you to the couch.”

She felt numb, curiously at peace for the first time in weeks… and May had thankfully shut up as the bitch staggered behind them. She was a lightweight when it came to drinking, apparently. 

“You shut her up,” Tilly informed her.  “It’s so quiet.”

“Well, you just tossed down a double shot of Draxalian whisky.  I’m surprised you can even stand right now.”

Well, she really couldn’t stand, and her walk was best described as a weeble-wabble type stagger, so he let her latch onto his forearm for support.   He guided her in sitting on his leather couch and then he insisted that she lie down. He covered her with a blanket and told her to get some sleep. That done, he sat next to her and assured that he’d stay with her.

“This blanket smells like Chris,” Tilly murmured. “I miss Chris so much.”

Christ, not Captain Pike, but **_Chris_ **. 

“Chris misses you, too,” Chris gently whispered. “You get some sleep.”

* * *

 

There was the soft sound of the transporter and not just Michael, not just Stamets but also a little blue doctor appeared in Pike’s ready room.  Nessa skittered around her two crewmates and arrived at Tilly’s side first. She whipped out her tricorder and began to scan her patient. Her blue face was intense and her tail swished back and forth energetically. 

“I believe I just asked for Commander Burnham,” he stated mildly, which translated into **_there better be a goddamn good reason for this_ **.

“Lt. Singh picked up some unusual readings on his scan. He requested Dr. Nessa and Lt. Stamets review his results as he originally confirmed that he had two hundred and fourteen life signs on board.”

“That’s two more than what’s on the roster,” Pike reminded Burnham. “What happened to the 214th life sign?”

“The doctor advises us that one of the life signs is consistent with a pregnant crew member,” Michael explained.

“I’d say maybe three or four weeks along,” Nessa offered.  “They probably don’t know yet, so I figured we couldn’t really line up all the crew members of child bearing ability and find out who is housing lucky 214. Two hundred and thirteen however, Stamets figured out who it was. Or what it is? Well, he definitely figured out 213 was here in your ready room. We have no idea **_whatsoever_ ** where 214 is currently snuggled or who Mom might be.”

Dr. Nessa faced Tilly when she reported on future crew member 214.

“I’m afraid credit has to go to Singh, as being rather intent on proving to everyone that he’s Star Fleet material, he expanded the search criteria for living organisms. He included some of the rather esoteric definitions of life in his search, which is how we know someone on the Discovery will need a baby sitter in a few months…” Paul paused and Pike gestured at him JUST to get to the point ALREADY.

“Yes, I know how Singh is. What did he do to pull up little miss 213?” Pike asked.

“He searched for any multicellular life form. Since he is aware of the spore drive, he decided to include eukaryotic organisms in the criteria of life,” Paul explained.

“He searched for funguses?” Pike asked.  

“Yes,” Paul stated. “When he got the odd reading, he asked me to examine it. I confirmed that there is a eukaryotic life form onboard the ship that does not match any known species, however it does appear to have a certain similarity to fungi.”

“Don’t call her a fungus. It’s really pissing her off,” Tilly protested.  Her voice was slightly slurred from the amount of alcohol she had gulped. “She really hates Captain Pike. She doesn’t like you though she promoted you to Captain and… she’s very loud. May, your Kingdom is classified under Fungi, so that’s why they are calling you one. It’s not discrimination, May.”

“Little Miss 213 is obviously multicellular, since it has – **_opinions_ **,” Stamets offered.

“Fungi? Like mushrooms?”  Pike asked. At Stamets’ curt head nod, Pike groaned and commented that he would order nutritional services to take mushrooms off the dinner menu.  IMMEDIATELY. Then he turned serious, “I thought your team was inoculated against the spores?”

“Little Miss 213 might have developed an immunity to it, like bacteria.” Stamets offered that hypothesis hesitantly.

Tilly moaned a protest, “She really does not like being compared to bacteria.”

“So, I modified the scanner to see if Tilly is currently housing a parasitic organism, and we’ll test.” 

Stamets scanned Tilly, once, twice, three times and then he checked his settings. Before he scanned once again, he then stood in front of a sobbing Tilly and blocked her from Pike’s sight.  After the scan, he crouched next to Tilly.

* * *

 

“Say one word about **_214_ **and what I did to Boyce will be a love tap,” Nessa whispered to Stamets. The engineer looked at her tail, poised to deliver a blue smackdown of epic proportions and he swallowed.  “We deal with 213 first and then Tilly will tell us how 214 is to be handled.”

“You knew about… 214,” Stamets whispered to Tilly.

Tilly nodded. For a moment, Stamets’ universe went tipsy turvy as he guessed who the father might be. 

**_CAPTAIN PIKE!  HOLY SHIT!_ **

Then a sharp poke from a little blue tail brought his world back into equilibrium.

“TWO THIRTEEN,” hissed Nessa. "FOCUS!"

“213 first.” He whispered his agreement. “Then when that’s done, you, me and Doc Blue here will chat about 214 and what we can do to assist you. You need your friends right now.”

“Don’t let anyone know,” Tilly whispered. “ **_Please_ **.”

“I’ll tell Singh to lose 214 on the scans,” whispered Nessa. “Now, Captain is getting antsy and irked so you need to technobabble, Stamets.”

There was a slight disturbance behind them. Nessa, Stamets and Tilly all looked around to see Pike appeared to be looking for something or someone. 

“Captain?” Michael questioned.

“Thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but it wasn’t there. Stamets, do you have anything to report?” Pike’s voice was crisp but with a heavy overlay of concern.

“Little Miss 213 is inside Tilly, now we have to get her out,” Stamets explained. 

“213 has been feeding off Tilly so Tilly’s blood levels are slightly askew.   Once you’re rid of your friend, I want you in Sick Bay so we can get you healthy again,” Nessa insisted to Tilly. “I’ll take care of you, don’t you worry. We’ll get you healthy again.”

“Ok,” Captain Pike stated. “When the parasite is out of Tilly, I want a full review of how the medical department missed this, Dr. Nessa.  A full, comprehensive review on how one of my crew members was infected with a parasitic leech and how **_everyone_ ** in the medical department missed it, **_am I clear_ **?”

“Yes, Sir,” Dr. Nessa stated softly. 

Her answer wasn’t good enough for Captain Pike, but fortunately he was distracted by a page from the transporter room. His XO from the Enterprise was arriving momentarily with possible intel on Spock. 

Dear God, he needed to split himself into four to handle everything.

“I need to see her, Burnham. She might have information on Spock. I want you to keep me informed on this issue. Interrupt me if necessary,” he ordered.

Then in a much softer tone, he spoke to Ensign Tilly.  “I’m sorry that you felt you couldn’t come to me with this. I’ve been trying to give you space so you can get back to normal. After I’m done with Una, I’ll stop by to see you. Promise.”

Tilly nodded.

“I’ll bring you some spumoni,” he added.  With a wink.

* * *

 

However, the universe decided that Christopher Pike wouldn’t be able to follow through on his promise. The next thirty-eight hours were a bloody mess, as his best intentions were sidetracked by a dying XO, Saru, a sphere that triggered all of his spider phobias, and wreaked havoc on his ship.  On one hand, the sphere presented them with a hundred thousand years of universe knowledge and on the other hand, its rampant destruction permitted Tilly to be kidnapped… sporenapped… by the 213.

Once again, he had failed at protecting her. 

But like bloody hell would he leave her there. Even if he had to risk Burnham and Stamets... the entire crew of the Discovery as the jahSeppp ate away at his ship's hull.

_“Starfleet is a promise; I give my life for you; you give your life for me. And nobody gets left behind. Ensign Silvia Tilly is out there, and she has every right to expect us. We keep our promises. Please report to your stations and designated safe zones on the starboard side. Good luck, and God speed to us all."_

_"Mr. Stamets, are you ready to execute this very bold, deeply insane plan of yours?"_

Leland, his one-time friend, was Section 31.  Leland, who he had once trusted as a brother, had watched the Discovery get ripped apart and he had had refused…  **_REFUSED_ **… to assist a fellow Federation crew.  The hardened Georgiou was now Section 31 and she was not…. the Phillipa Georgiou who once had joyfully drunk him under the table. 

It was as though she was from a completely different universe… which… would certainly explain Burnham’s less than happy reunion with her former Captain. 

Best to keep the knowledge of what Georgiou really was to himself, and watch her very closely.

The universe was crazy, topsy turvy and the girl… and the girl…. was back. He had just finished savoring his one shot of Draxalian whisky when she appeared. 

The girl was older now, maybe… nine… ten… he wasn’t sure.  Her hair, once again, was a wild mess of black curls. She wore a shirt emblazoned with “ ** _Future Fleet Captain_ **” and pants that had assorted planet and moon patches embroidered on it.

She was terrified, whoever she was, and she clung to him.

“Are you 213?” he asked his favorite hallucination. He rather doubted it, as compared to May, this hallucination was rather sweet and cute.

Ok, she was absolutely fucking adorable. 

She shook her head.

“Are you 214?” was the next question. No response, but she still clung to him. 

“Lt. Singh?  Please scan the ship. How many life signs?” Christopher asked. He had started to request a spot check of the number of life signs at random intervals since 213 and 214 had arrived, but the number seemed to have stabilized at 212. 

“We have two hundred and twelve, Sir,” Singh informed him. “I am noticing an increase in the number of tachyons around the ships, Sir. There seems to be an event occurring.”

“Find out what you can on the tachyons. Is it a normal event? Or is something else. I want a report on it, Singh,” he informed Singh. That done, he spoke to the girl. “Who are you? Why do you come see **_me_ **? Are you part of my past? Part of my future? Do I owe your Mama my sincerest apologies and a whole lot of child support payments?”

“ ** _Scared_ ** ,” she whispered. “Really, really **_scared_ **.”

An alert sounded, which meant someone wished to speak to him in his ready room.  The girl disappeared… well… **_disintegrated_ **… and he exhaled.  Even if she was a figment, he hadn’t been able to reassure her. 

God, he was losing it. 

“Come in,” Pike stated. 

In walked Sylvia Tilly. The harrowing ordeal with the jahSepp had turned her even quieter, and she still appeared extremely drawn.

“What can I do for you, Ensign?” Pike asked. 

Tilly couldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, she just stared at a spot over his shoulder. 

“Captain Pike, I am requesting an extended personal leave from Star Fleet. I need time to… heal… and recover… and I am… not doing that… here,” she explained. She wiped her eyes and looked at anywhere but where he was. “I need to get away from seeing you on a daily basis.”

He nodded his head in tired acceptance. “How much time are you requesting?” 

“I have roughly a year’s worth of accrued leave. I’ve only taken a few days here and there, so… I would like a year with the understanding that I can come back earlier if I feel… steady enough. I went above you and asked Admiral Cornwell for approval. She agreed with my request, but I wanted to let you know.”

That hurt.   That she had gone around him, above him, to Kat because Sylvia had known that he would refuse her request.  Well, Sylvia knew him very well indeed. 

He stood up and extended his hand to her. 

“I’m truly sorry that I couldn’t be the Captain you deserved, Ensign. I will approve your request, with the condition that you need to contact me at least once a month to let me know how you are doing.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next stop Talos IV and Boreth.


	31. 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talos IV. 
> 
> Vina. 
> 
> Tilly meets Papa Pike and we introduce Chester The Stuffed Tardigrade. (Borrowed from tumblr - CadetChester & Disco-Headcannons)
> 
> Thanxs to F&C for their input.
> 
> Next stop Boreth. Promise.

_“What can I do for you, Ensign?” Pike asked._

_Tilly couldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, she just stared at a spot over his shoulder._

_“Captain Pike, I am requesting an extended personal leave from Star Fleet. I need time to… heal… and recover… and I am… not doing that… here,” she explained. She wiped her eyes and looked at anywhere but where he was. “I need to get away from seeing you on a daily basis.”_

_He nodded his head in tired acceptance. “How much time are you requesting?”_

_“I have roughly a year’s worth of accrued leave. I’ve only taken a few days here and there, so… I would like a year with the understanding that I can come back earlier if I feel… steady enough. I went above you and asked Admiral Cornwell for approval. She agreed with my request, but I wanted to let you know.”_

_That hurt.   That she had gone around him, above him, to Kat because Sylvia had known that he would refuse her request.  Well, Sylvia knew him very well indeed._

_He stood up and extended his hand to her._

_“I’m truly sorry that I couldn’t be the Captain you deserved, Ensign. I will approve your request, on the condition that you need to contact me at least once a month to let me know how you are doing.”_

He **_knew_ ** , and she **_knew_ ** that he **_knew_ **, that she wouldn’t contact him.

* * *

 

Tilly’s Surprise Bon Voyage party was tonight, so Pike volunteered for the Beta and Gamma shift. Well, since he was the Captain, he just rearranged the schedule for the Chair by giving everyone the night off, and handed the timetable back to Commander Saru. The Kelpien reviewed the revision and handed it back to him.

“You should make an appearance.”  Saru was politely disapproving. 

“Commander, we all know the reason why Ensign Tilly is leaving the Discovery. First name starts with Christopher, last name ends in Pike. Best if I do not make an appearance and put a damper on the festivities,” Pike stated as he handed the PADD back to Saru. “I’ll send my regrets. Besides, Captains, parties; they don’t mix well. The crew will have more fun if the old man isn’t there.”

Saru nodded his head and then offered his rebuttal. “I’m sure Ensign Tilly will be quite disappointed that you won’t be there.”

“Commander, word of advice, never try to guilt me,” Pike drawled. “Now, go have fun.  You * **_do_ *** know how to have fun, Commander?”

“I am the very personification of fun, Captain,” Saru informed him. 

Pike did a double take and realized that Saru had developed an exceedingly dry sense of humor while he had been left unattended with the children.

“Get out,” he growled. 

* * *

* * *

 

During the middle of the Beta Shift, Pike was in the process of reviewing various reports when the turbo lift opened. He looked towards the entrance, and saw that Lt. Singh was shepherding a wheeled cart full of delicacies and that Ensign Ylsa was behind him. They were in uniform, which meant that they were relieving the helms and conns so they could attend the party but still the two had thought ahead and brought food for the skeleton crew that remained on the bridge. 

That amount of consideration for their crew members boded well for the two youngsters. 

He had squeezed daily meetings with the three Janus crew members into this schedule to confirm how they were adapting but he felt that he owed them more. Reports from the various senior officers had been the same for all three; polite, reserved, but perhaps too intense on merging into the crew.

Nessa, intense, yes. **_Polite_ ** , **_reserved_ **? Ah, no.

Just another responsibility he needed to concentrate on. 

Then he had Culber, a very much not dead Doctor whose existence was destabilizing the brilliant, erratic Stamets.

And the elusive red signals, which had decided to take a nap, content in the knowledge that the entire universe was anxiously awaiting their next appearance.  Fucking Divas. That’s what they were. 

Plus, the entire mess with one Sylvia Tilly. His gut told him that there was still something she wasn’t telling him.  

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly damned her hormones. They were in flux; she was permitted one drink and one drink only by Galen… and she was being stalked by the two people who knew about the cagey life form known as 214.  By the time the last hug was given and the musicians had packed away their equipment, she was an absolute blubbering mess. 

Stamets grabbed her by the elbow and made her excuses. “I have something for you in my quarters, so come with me,” he ordered. 

“Michael, if I’m not back in our quarters within thirty minutes, please rescue me!” Tilly pleaded.

“I’m sure you’ll be safe,” Michael demurred. 

* * *

 

Stamets escorted her to his quarters where, upon her entrance, Tilly discovered Nessa sitting on the couch.

“I can’t handle this… intervention… right now,” Tilly protested. “I just… can’t…”

“No, no, no,” Nessa protested. “We just wanted to talk with you and offer you what support we could.”

Paul then locked the doors to his quarters with a verbal override and Tilly shook her head, “Not fair, not fair at all.”

“I just wanted to give you this,” Nessa explained as she handed her a credit chip. “It’s from me, Ylsa and Nirav. It’s not a lot but it’s what we could pull together.”

“Nirav knows?” Tilly protested softly. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

“He located 214.  He destroyed all the evidence, so yeah, he’s aware, which means Ylsa knows. They won’t say anything because they won’t. You were a crew member of the Janus, and we will stick together. Are you getting medical care after you leave here?”

Tilly nodded. 

Nessa hugged Tilly quickly. “If you need anything, you let us know.”

There was another hug and Nessa left the room. That left Tilly with Paul, who wasn’t saying anything.

“Here, I pulled what I could also,” Stamets stated finally. “You will need credits.”

There was a long pause before Paul continued, “And… if you need an uncle… a crazy, eccentric uncle to teach her about spores… and fungi… and mushrooms, I’m volunteering.”

Tilly put her hand over her mouth and struggled not to cry. “T-t-thank you,” she finally managed.

“Tilly… you should tell him,” Paul kept his voice free from censure. “If I was him, I would really like to know.”

Tilly nodded her head while she explained, “I was about to tell him when May showed up. She was really… really… nasty… and… he must have feared that I was having a nervous breakdown because I just… screamed at her to shut up.  Then I got kidnapped by a sentient fungus, and he nearly destroyed the ship to rescue me.”

Tilly paused.

“I need time to process **_this_ **,” she explained softly as she caressed her belly.  “This is something Chris wanted with Sylvia.”

“Sylvia?”  Paul questioned. “I thought you hated that name.”

“I did… I do…. But Chris called me Sylvia. Chris and Sylvia talked about having kids… while Captain Pike told Ensign Tilly that getting her pregnant would have been a … mistake… 214’s not a mistake, you know.  Chris told Sylvia that he loved her and their baby was created in a physical expression of that love.”

She smiled, shakily.

“Leaving poor, knocked up Ensign Tilly to face, multiple times a day, a man, who besides being her superior officer, …  a man… who was able to turn off his emotions like that.”  

She snapped her fingers and smiled sadly.

“I haven’t been able to do that quite as easily. Probably due to 214 here. It’s still early; I need to figure out what I want…  I wanted this… when I was Sylvia… but Ensign Tilly is realizing more and more how difficult it will be ... to do this by herself…”

“You think he wouldn’t take responsibility?” Stamets prompted. 

“He would… but… she deserves to be loved…. Not to be regretted as a responsibility… Plus the last few months have been really, really crazy. I got kidnapped multiple times and… there’s been a great deal of insanity, and I’ve seen…. A bit too much death… and… I need to center myself. I am just… exhausted… right now… and dealing with Captain Pike isn’t… helping me. I’m not strong enough right now, physically, mentally and emotionally. I promise you that I will tell him when I’m strong enough.”

* * *

 

He was getting too damn old to do a triple shift.  Especially a quiet triple shift where he had nothing to do but review a great deal of paperwork, so Pike was delighted when Saru appeared early for the alpha rotation. With a deeply disturbing amount of glee, Pike handed over all the paperwork he had caught up on during the last twenty odd hours to his unsuspecting XO, Mr. Fun Personified, Saru.

“I finally got caught up with everything for the last two months,” he informed Mr. Fun, who was looking rather glum as there  was a hell of a lot of stuff that Saru now needed to review. Such was the joys of Command. “Good party? No one’s in the brig, so I consider it a successful party.”

Saru couldn’t even manage a quip.

Pike then left the bridge; he was exhausted, so naturally, he couldn’t fall asleep. Chris tossed and turned, until his alarm sounded.  Time to shower, time to change into a new uniform, time to wish Sylvia the best as she fled in two hours. 

A final glance at his appearance, and then he pondered the small coin on his nightstand. It was a challenge coin and he had given both Detmer and Owo ones when they had prevented him from becoming a Chris-ka-Bob. Should he? Should he not?

Well fuck it to hell, he’d give it to her and she could throw it in his face, drop it on the floor or maybe…just maybe… take it.

Second thought, have Burnham slip it into her luggage. 

Yeah. The cowards’ way of dealing with it. 

* * *

 

Her entire time on the Discovery reduced to two traveling trunks and a ruck bag she could sling over her shoulder.  There had been numerous men and women at her quarters who volunteered to carry her stuff to the waiting transport, so at least she didn’t have to carry them. While Rhys and the Discovery Bryce argued about which trunk to take, Linus and… Hugh Culber walked off with them.

Yes, Hugh was there. Seemingly out of place and obvious in awkwardly avoiding Stamets but he was there. 

“I have to hurry, the shuttle will be here shortly,” Tilly protested as she was repeatedly hugged and kissed by her soon to be former crew mates.

Jett Reno handed her a tube. “Only open when you get someplace you call home, Red. I don’t do goodbyes so I’m leaving.”

“What is it?” Tilly questioned.

“Blueprints for the Zef Cochrane’s ship, the Phoenix. Frame them and that way you can remember Dilithium crystals are much safer that sentient spores, ok?” The older engineer nodded her head before she left. “I have never known a dilithium crystal to develop sentience and have a knack for kidnapping.”

* * *

 

“Thanks for giving her a lift back to Star Fleet HQ, Bob.” Christopher Pike stated. 

Robert April, Commodore, General Malcontent, laughed. “I just appreciate getting away from our new friends.  They seem slightly….”

“Wily?” Pike quipped which earned him a dirty look.

“More like … crazy… in a good way.”

“They drank him under the table,” Sarah April inserted. “Plus, he’s a little perturbed that the Archon offered me one of her sons as a gesture of goodwill.”

“In what way?” Pike questioned.

“Don’t answer that,” April protested.

“I assured her that I was quite happy with Commodore Curmudgeon here, plus as a good Lutheran, he did not do line marriages…” Sara murmured. 

“Unofficially, I’m recommending to the Federation that we reexamine their application,” the Commodore continued blithely, as though he hadn’t been interrupted. “Their Prime is correct; we underestimated the Breen if we truly believed that they wouldn’t go after our personnel. Now I just need to convince a few other people that we need to befriend the guy who waltzed into Breen territory, gave them a bloody nose and meandered out again.”

“I’d disagree with the terms ‘waltz’ and ‘meander’,” Pike stated.

“Well, same here. But for the faint of heart, clutching their pearls types, we’ll use happier words rather than slash, burn, and annihilate. Now, on a serious note, how are you doing? How’s your crew? How are the Janus crew fitting in?”

Pike grimaced and Bob nodded in silent understanding. 

“It’ll take time, Chris. You know that; you did the best you could.”

Bob arched one eyebrow at Pike’s growl.

* * *

 

 

“Promise me that you’ll let me know when you’re in San Francisco. The minute you get there,” Michael requested as they made their way to the shuttle bay. 

“I will, but it will probably be at least two weeks. My understanding is that the shuttle craft will take me to Starbase 15, then I’ll need to catch a ride back to Earth.” Tilly then stepped into the shuttle bay, ceased talking and then turned to face Michael. “OhmyGod, is that **_Commodore April_ ** talking to **_Captain Pike_ **? Is that also a Class H shuttle sitting in the bay?”

“Yes, and yes,” Michael agreed. “Captain asked the Commodore if he’d be so kind as to provide you with transportation to Star Fleet Head Quarters, as he was on his way there.”

“I think I’m gonna vomit,” Tilly murmured. “I have to be confined in a shuffle craft with him for a … week? I may go crazy…. He’s just so…. **_Loud_ **.”

“His wife is along, plus the flight crew,” Michael offered. “She seems to manage him quite well.”

“Ensign Tilly,” barked Commodore April. “Time’s awastin’. I need to be in San Fran in four days, so sally forth.”

“I think she has enough time to say goodbye, Bob,” murmured Sarah. 

There was a quick exchange of hugs, some long, some short, several kisses (Culber! Stamets!) and some hearty handshakes (Commodore April!?!?!!?!?) and then she was on her way. 

She tried not to cry, but she blamed it on Commander Saru’s hug.  She knew that she exasperated him to no end due to her Tillyness, but when he whispered that he thought of her as a little sister, that caused the waterworks.

Not Christopher Pike’s brusque head bob of dismal. 

He couldn’t even say goodbye. 

* * *

 

“Here’s your quarters. It’s slightly larger than a closet, but feel free to recover from your going away party. I barely remember mine, but I do recall the traumatic recovery period,” Sarah April suggested as she showed Tilly her quarters.

Small was the right word. Claustrophobic might be better, as everything was fitted just so in order to optimize the space.  Her big trunks had been stowed away, so she just needed to put away her clothes for the next four days, plus put up the picture of Michael and her so she’d have something familiar in the all too bare room.

“It should be right on top of my clothes,” she announced in the all too quiet room.  “Michael insisted that she’d pack it for me.”

She opened her carry on to discover a heavy envelope placed deliberately on top of her clothes.  There was a sticky note attached to it.

_I asked Cmdr. Burnham to put this in your luggage. Pike_

Hesitantly, she opened it. The heaviness was explained by a challenge coin. 

It was old… worn… and she flipped it over. One side stated USS Excalibur, the other side had a handwritten “Josh” in script and “Captain Joshua T. Pike” engraved on it. The engraving was well worn, and smooth as though it had been handled many times.

_Ensign Tilly,_

_I need to apologize for not having this conversation with you in person.  You’ve made it abundantly, painfully clear for sound reasons, that for the sake of your mental health, it’s best if you do not have to deal with me._

_For that unintentional pain, I must apologize._

_I, foolishly and a bit naively, had hoped that you would recover best from your recent traumas surrounded by the love and support of your family on the Discovery.  Unfortunately, that healing has not occurred because of my presence. I simply cannot apologize enough for that._

_Please accept the enclosed challenge coin. It was one my father gave me when I was admitted to the Academy, and I’ve carried it through the years. If you ever need anything from me, know that it represents my promise to you that I will not fail you again._

_I just hope this experience will help temper your raw talent and enthusiasm into becoming one of the best Starship Captains I will have the pleasure of knowing.  All Captains pick up scars and wounds through our travels. I’ve had experiences in the past that have festered and wounded my soul to the point where I barely recognize the man I was then. I hope that doesn’t happen to you, as I’d hate to be the reason why your bright star is dimmed._

_I do want to leave you with some advice that I’ve stolen from Helen Keller._

_Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye, Sylvia. There will be no stopping you then._

_With sincerest respect and admiration,_

_Chris_

“Every time I hope that I can stop loving him, your father does something like this,” Sylvia whispered.

* * *

 

Christopher Pike noticed Sylvia Tilly’s absence immediately. There was a section on the bridge that he had mentally tagged as The Tilly Fun Zone as every experience had been cool, new and different.  Maybe he shouldn’t describe it as that, but it was better than describing Tilly as an over exuberant Irish setter puppy. It was the overabundance of red hair that caused him to think of her an Irish setter puppy rather than a goofy labrador puppy. 

Previously, if he had a bad day or a moment of unhappiness, he looked in that general direction, witnessed Tilly’s gleeful expression and felt better immediately.   The crew had a tendency to smile more when Tilly had been excited, a type of lenient smile of ‘Oh My God, she’s so cute, I hope the new Captain won’t squash her’. She had been the crew’s pet, and he had noted that immediately.

She had also been his lover.

And everyone knew. And everyone knew that he was the reason she was no longer on the Discovery. 

Tyler’s little snarky comments about ‘Anyone hear from Tilly lately?’ at staff meetings crawled and festered under his skin. The answer was NO, he had not heard from her.  Burnham had, but he never asked because it was none of his damn business. 

Saru was being problematic. If anything, his Executive Officer reminded him of a colt that had come into maturity, intent on pushing the boundaries especially when the Red Angel appeared over his home world.   He had snapped the terminal in half during a disagreement over how Pike was handling the situation.

Pike accepted that showing fear to an aggressive Saru would be the worst thing he could do. An unleashed Saru, who was acting completely on repressed instincts, would have picked up on his fear and the situation would have escalated. As it was, Pike realized that there could be a strong possibility that Saru would physically assault him, and he prayed that someone on the bridge would have his back.  

After the entire Tilly incident, he acknowledged to himself, and to Kat, that he had lost his new crew’s respect. He pretended not to notice the long, appraising looks or the side eyes, but his cross would be so much easier to bear if Sylvia Tilly reassured him that she was alive.

One crisis averted with the Ba’ul and the Kelpiens (complete with a rather strong “Talking At” session by Cornwell, who listed possible solutions that hadn’t required Federation involvement, none of which would have worked. She knew it, he knew it but that was how the game was played so he took the verbal reprimand with grace and stoicism.)

Then he got sucked into a time rift with Ash Tyler/Voq. Yes, he had deliberately added the “time” in front of the rift in honor of Sylvia Tilly and her enthusiasm and because he knew it would cause Tyler/Voq to twitch.  

Christopher Pike, your middle name is Petty. 

**_Because Time in front of everything makes it sound SO much cooler._ **

After a very long day of the time rift, an attack by a probe from the future, the formation of a quasi-bridge of mutual respect between Ash/Voq and himself,  an attack by a time tsunami, plus a brawl in the cafeteria between Ash/Vog and the resurrected Culber, it was time for bed. Before he left the bridge, Singh informed Pike that there were 211 life signs on board but the number of tachyons was still quite elevated.

Therefore, he wisely changed into his pajamas after he took a long hot shower.

And it had been one of those LIVES, the little girl that taken up haunting him as a personal hobby, who appeared in his bed. She was… maybe… five ish…  This time, she brought along a friend, a large, well-loved stuffed tardigrade. It was a faded blue and it matched the little tardigrade slippers on her feet.  Her curly hair was contained in two braids and she was absolutely adorable in her Christmas pajama set that was emblazoned with assorted baby aliens wearing Santa Hats.  Yes, the stuffed tardigrade had a matching shirt.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Pike asked.

“I am. I need to be asleep else Santa won’t come,” she informed him in a far too serious voice.  “Tell me a story?”

Then she added an insincere, “Please?” after he glared at her. 

Shit. She commanded as though she was familiar with the role of She Who Must Be Obeyed.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

She giggled. “Will… Silly…”

Pike praised a thousand and one saints that her name wasn’t Una. 

“Ok, Silly Will…”

“No, **_you’re_ ** silly,” she explained. “I’m Will, and this is Chester.”

“Chester?” Pike repeated.

“ **_Chester_ **,” the girl repeated as though it was a perfectly normal name for a Tardigrade. 

“I think I remember a Christmas story my Mama would tell me,” Chris stated.   “Let me get into bed so I can tell it to you.”

It required some positioning, but at last he was comfortable. The little girl snuggled next to him, naturally and hit him in the face with Chester. It was a solid, mighty blow that would leave a mark, he was sure. 

“Kiss first,” Will ordered.

He buzzed the top of her hair, and she sighed happily. 

“Chester also wants a kiss. Papa always gives Chester a kiss as he’s my best friend,” she mumbled sleepily. 

“He hit me in the nose,” Chris protested.

She bequeathed him a look of ‘WTF’ before she informed him, “He’s a stuffie. He did not hit you in the nose. Chester wants a kiss as he’s my best friend and we do everything together.”

“You have a rather impressive vocabulary for someone of your age,” Pike quipped. 

She just blinked at him.  Mental note, flattery would get him nowhere with her.

Therefore, Chris puckered up and kissed Chester.  Fortunately, the tardigrade did not slip him any tongue as that would have been too Alice in Wonderlandish for him.  As it was, he looked for any hookah smoking caterpillars in the immediate vicinity. There weren’t any, which was good as it would have set off the smoke alarm.

“Any other friends of yours I need to kiss before I start the story?” Chris asked.

“He and Papa are my only friends,” she admitted softly. “Papa always has time for me. Mama doesn’t. Papa says that Mama gets like this because of Grandma and we just have to love her a little more until she’s back to being Mama again. I love my Mama lots. I wish she loved me. I told Santa that all I want is my Mama to love…me…I do not need any presents…. I **_try_ **to be good… I **_do!_ **  Stuff… just… **_happens_** …. Papa understands… he loves me even though I’m **_BAAD!_ **”

Hysterical sobs ensued and it took forever for him to calm her down.   It took a cup of champurrado, a traditional hot chocolate drink which his Mama had always made him for Christmas Eve, (as Chester the stuffed Tardigrade demanded one, and Chris decided it was best if he had a champurrado to drink though he desperately wanted something stronger) plus a plate of assorted Pike family Christmas cookies.

The little time traveler sucked it down surprisingly well which surprised him as it was an acquired taste.  He was getting more and more certain that there was a particular reason why she had latched onto him for her temporal visits.

“So, Will, what’s your Mama’s real name?”  he asked. 

Little Miss Will swiped the last Biscochito cookie off the plate and she devoured it intently.  She giggled and answered, “Mama!”

“Your Mama’s real name is Mama?”  Pike questioned. “What does your Papa call her? He doesn’t call her Mama, does he?”

“He calls her a real pain in his ass,” she informed him. “Then they start doing adult boy-girl things like kissing and giggling and hugging and I get shipped off to my aunties or uncles for a sleepover. Papa explained adult boy-girl stuff to me because something happened that after the adult boy-girl thing and Mama had Papa tell me. It was his punishment, per Mama. He said that he’d explain everything else to me when I was older… Do you want me to tell you about it? It’s a secret and he told me not to tell **_anyone_ **.”

Christ, he was crimson. 

“Will? Why don’t we start off with whether or not I look like your Papa?” He kept his tone confiding and soft.

“No… Papa is really old. His hair is white. He says I gave him every white hair,” she giggled.

Well, he could certainly understand THAT. 

 “And what does your Mama look like? What color hair does your Mama have? Did you get your curly hair from her?”

She looked at him, grabbed another churro from the plate, and then opened her mouth to spill EVERYTHING including the dirty specifics about that entire adult boy-girl thing when they were interrupted. Much to his intense disappointment as he had questions about the adult boy-girl thing that needed clarification.

“Commander Saru to Captain Pike?”  Saru questioned.

“One moment, Commander,” Pike requested even as the little girl and Chester faded from view.

“Can we meet in your ready room?” 

* * *

 

He had debated bringing the champurrado cup and the half-bitten churro down to medical for a full examination including DNA but he decided against it. Whomever the free spirit truly was, she appeared when she wanted and Dr. Nessa had confirmed that he was fungi-free within the last twelve hours.

“Captain? You have a black eye?” Saru questioned.

“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” Pike admitted easily.  He grabbed a regenerator from his desk and with an ease that spoke of a long familiarity with the device, he removed the evidence of his vicious hand to hand combat with a stuffed Tardigrade. 

“It appears someone on our ship accessed the transceiver array and sent out an encrypted, unauthorized subspace transmission.  Three of them, actually. Large bursts. As in petabytes of data,” Saru informed him. 

“What did your investigation uncover?” Pike asked.

“Tyler’s codes were utilized.”

“Seems too …” Pike drawled. Tyler was many things; annoying, exasperating and a section 31 operative, but not stupid. 

“Perfect?” Saru agreed. 

“Yes. For now, between this and the fight in the mess hall, remand him to quarters,” Pike decided. “Walk with me, Commander.”

Commander Saru nodded his head even as Chris prepared to verbally reprimand him for the events in the mess hall.

“I spoke with Dr. Culber. I reminded him that there was a boxing ring in the gym, along with assorted punching bags for use in dealing with his frustration. For now, I am willing to turn a blind eye on this as he’s permitted some leeway due to recent events. However, Commander Saru, I must express my sincere disappointment in how you handled the situation.”

The old Saru would have been mortified by the reprimand and would have taken them without a complaint, the juiced up Saru would have clocked him one, while the current Saru desired to defend his actions.

“You allowed the fight to proceed.” Pike stated it simply, and watched Saru’s hands out of the corner of his eye. They were opened, rather than balled, so perhaps he wouldn’t get massacred in the elevator. 

“Well, I believe the confrontation was a necessary and unavoidable catharsis for both men,” Saru explained.

“But hardly an example of by-the-book conflict resolution,” Pike reminded him.

Saru scoffed. **_SCOFFED_ ** and snarkily replied, “The Starfleet manual offers no regulatory guidelines for interactions between humans with Klingons grafted to their bones and a ship's doctor returned from the dead. I believe that is in the next version that is currently under review.”

Damn it, he still wasn’t seeing it.  Pike could never recommend Saru as the next Captain of the Discovery if he didn’t **_get_ ** the lesson. “Then, occasionally, we have to make it up as we go along,” Pike prompted.

Saru admitted, “That is the situation in which we find ourselves, yes.”

Pike stopped the turbolift. “This is not intended with any judgment, Mr. Saru, but I suspect that, before your evolution, you might have made a different call. So, given the unusual nature of our circumstances, I'm going to overlook the incident, but this can't happen again.  And please make sure **_everyone is aware_** that we will not be settling our differences with violence, but with the **_uniform code of_** **_conduct_**.”

Long pause, direct eye contact before Pike added, “And that goes for **_you_ ** as **_well_ **.”

Lesson received. 

More importantly, Chris didn’t get punched.

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly signed the receipt for her two travel lockers.  “Yes, transport them there in two weeks. My grandmother is on vacation so she won’t be able to accept them until then.”

“Do you have any plans for Christmas?”  Sarah April questioned. Dr. April had decided to take her on as a personal project and had shepherded her through her various appointments at Star Fleet Headquarters. The good doctor claimed it was something to help her pass the time during Bob’s latest escapades, but Tilly knew better. “You’re welcome to have dinner with Bob and me. As you can tell, he doesn’t always bellow. He sometimes forgets that we’re not on a starship anymore.”

Robert April, the Voice that Roared, had mellowed surprisingly quickly on their trip to Star Fleet. He said his pleases and thank yous, kept his voice at a volume best described as loud opposed to BELLOWING, and had been really adorable in the private moments with his wife. Not that Tilly would ever admit it but she had caught them being… cute… together.

“Plus, he wants a rematch on that chess game where you beat him so badly.”

April had been viciously wiping the chessboard with her pieces until Tilly had remembered a move that Michael had shown her. In three short moves, she had been the one who announced a gleeful, “CHECKMATE!”

Tilly said, “I’ve already booked a classic train trip across the United States.  It’s all solar powered now, but it promises a nice, slow trip from San Francisco through the South West and then it ends up in Chicago.  I’ve been to so many places in the last few years, that I thought it would be nice to take a step back and just… be… for a bit. I have a private cabin, sitting room etc.”

“Bob thought you’d want to start on your leave immediately. I’m supposed to give you this,” Sarah then slipped her a challenge coin. “You need anything from us, we’ll be there. Promise.”

Tilly looked at the coin, and smiled. 

“Yes, it’s one of his from the Enterprise, so when you’re challenged to show your coins; that there should outrank most of the others. That means, they have to buy you a drink,” Sarah explained. “When you come back from your leave, you let me know. Bob can help smooth things over if there are any problems. Politics, you know.”

“Thank you,” Tilly murmured.

* * *

 

The train was delightfully quiet, so Tilly reclined on the couch and watched the scenery fly by. 

“Mama loves you so much,” she thought. “It’s our first Christmas together and it’s just us. Maybe you’ll let Mama eat tomorrow? I think that’s a reasonable request.”

She was tired, so she drifted off to sleep. 

Sylvia woke to shuddering, screeching of brakes and screaming. Fortunately, she was seat-belted, so she didn’t fall off the couch.   In the background, there was a steady pinging noise and a voice spoke reassuringly. “ **_Please exit the train using the emergency exits.”_ **

She grabbed her carryon, delighted that she hadn’t bothered to unpack and she exited the train into a startling mass of chaos.

No one was in charge, people were hysterical so she inhaled deeply, and then took command.

In her best impersonation of Kat Cornwell, Sylvia Tilly announced, “Who has the roster?  Who has medical training?”

* * *

 

Josh Pike had just finished his service for Christmas eve.  Short, sweet, to the point, even for him. But that’s why they liked having him do the Christmas eve candlelight service, he was well aware that while they were celebrating the Lord’s birthday, the kids wanted nothing more than for him to shut up so they could go home and wait for Santa.

He was a realist.

“Dear, you care to review this?” Josh asked his much better half.  “Edit as you see fit. Try to throw a joke in so it's amusing, not dry as the desert.”

She nodded.

The fire department tones went off for the report of a train derailment, so he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

“I can do the service if you’re still tied up,” she promised.

* * *

 

It was a minor derailment, by that he meant the engine was off the tracks as was the first railroad car. There was a hell of a lot people (pardon his language) standing around, being useless but he noticed that there was a fiery red head directing the scene. She appeared to be a passenger, born with some common sense, a rarity these days, but he then observed that she had a standard Star Fleet ruck bag slung over her shoulder.

Ah, she was executing Mass Casualty Delta Sigma Niner.  Good, good, she had a head on her shoulders to match that fiery red hair.

“Afternoon, Ma’am. I’m Josh. Fire department will be here momentarily. What do you got?” he asked.  “Besides you needing a doctor for your gash on your head?”

He was a volunteer medic for the Fire Department, as he possessed a strong aversion to running into burning buildings, so he had already pulled out his skin regenerator and his tricorder.

“I’m missing twelve people, I’ve got two people with chest pain and shortness of breath, and you’re the first medic I’ve seen,” she stated tersely as she pushed his tricorder away from her.  “Do something about the cut, and then go see them please. I was seatbelted in, so I’m fine.”

“Aye, aye Captain!” He fired off a crisp salute, which made her laugh.

“Ensign,” she retorted. “Ensign Sylvia Tilly, but I’m on leave right now, so I am just Tilly.”

“Ok, Tilly, I’m just Josh.  Retired Star Fleet, so I’m recognizing MC Delta Sigma Niner?”

She nodded, and explained quickly as though to a superior officer, “Seemed the best way to handle it.”

“No need to explain, Tilly,” he assured her. “You’re doing fine. The railroad employees? They’re idiots.”

 

* * *

Josh Pike reached out to the FD responding units, advised them to call in mutual aid from the surrounding areas, and then he called his wife.

“Got a problem,” he informed her even as he finished treating his patient and began to walk to the next victim.  “I need you to contact Chris immediately.”

“I thought you were at a train derailment,” she protested.

“I am, Miriam, but there’s a fiery red head running the incident.  Her name is Sylvia Tilly, she’s Star Fleet on leave, and she matches the picture that Bob April sent me.”

Joshua Pike and Robert April went way back. Neither man had informed Lt. j.g. Christopher Pike of that detail and if Chris had figured it out, he had kept his mouth shut. 

“ **_And_ **?”  Miriam questioned as she knew damn well who Sylvia Tilly was.

“I didn’t give her my last name.  Let Chris know that I’m just gonna play stupid, and that I have no idea who she is. But she’s got a good gash on her head, and it’s Christmas Eve, she’s Star Fleet, so I’m bringing her home if she doesn’t get admitted to the hospital. Also call Doc Ambrosini, tell her I'm bringing  in a patient

* * *

to see her. Tell Chris to have his CMO reach out to Doc so he knows what he’s treating.”

* * *

 

Tilly continued to direct the mass casualty event until she was relieved by the Fire Department chief.   The chief reminded her of Commander Nhan with her crisp speech and steady eye.

“Pike wants you to go see him,” the chief informed her.

“Pike?”  she whispered.

“The merry Reverend? He volunteers as a medic work in his spare time. I was told to get your ass over to see him or face an afterlife of nothing but nursing home calls.  Rev knows that he can’t threaten me with fiery damnation. Yeah, he’s not very ministerial but he was an Admiral in Star Fleet so he’s rough around the edges. Speaking of the devil, here he comes!”

Josh had a shock of full white hair, was slightly shorter than his son, but possessed the very same dimples.

 **_At least Willa’s gonna have fantastic hair,_ ** offered an inner Tilly.

“Tilly!” Josh greeted her in a booming bass. “Come with me, I called in a few favors. I got a bay in Urgent care with your name on it.”

“ **_Admiral_ ** Joshua **_Pike_ ** ?” Tilly questioned.  “Are you the father of **_Captain_ ** Christopher **_Pike_ **?”

“In another life, I was Admiral Pike. You’re too young to be one of my crew, do I know you?” Josh asked.  He paused then, and dimpled, “Or do you know Chris? I’m really not the hardass he says I am.”

For added emphasis on what a great guy he was, reputation be damned, he tilted his head and grinned. All he needed was a halo to complete the image. 

“I was on the Discovery with him,” she offered that very slowly just to see his reaction. His expression didn’t change, so perhaps Chris had just glossed over entire ‘Oops I fucked my ensign’ nightmare incident with his father or perhaps hadn’t mentioned it at all.  “I didn’t know him well enough for him to discuss you. I mean, he’s a Captain, I was just an ensign. I tried not to attract his attention.”

Pike nodded his head in easy agreement. “Very well, get in my Jeep or I’ll call your Captain and have him order you. I’m pretty sure he’ll remember you with that crazy red hair of yours. My good God girl, it should be classified as a new intelligent lifeform. I hope it’s friendly.”

“You **_wouldn’t_ **contact Captain Pike,” Tilly protested. Then she patted her blood crusted hair, and protested. “My hair isn’t that bad.”

“Try me, I will call Chris to get your ass in the jeep.” he stated in a tone that could be best described as Admiralish.  Then he opened the door to his Jeep and held out his hand to take her ruck bag. “Ensign, get in the shuttle. “My first wife was a ginger, so no offense meant, but that’s a lot of hair you’re carrying.”

* * *

 

By the time they got to Urgent Care, Tilly was feeling woozy. Concussion woozy as opposed to baby woozy, so she didn’t protest too much when Chris’ father swept her off her feet and carried her into the center. 

“Bay 2, Josh,” the doctor stated. 

Josh carried her gently into the bay, placed her just so on the bed, and grabbed a wastepaper basket when she began to hurl.

“She had a pretty good gash on her head when I first met her,” Pike told the doctor. “I’m assuming that she got her brains all rattled.”

The doctor scanned Tilly and then gave her a hypo. 

“That should help with the queasiness. From what the scans are telling me, this is your third concussion in the last six months?” The doctor shook her head in disapproval.

Tilly whispered, “Yes.”

“My son’s her captain, Doc. Want me to see if their doc will talk to you?” Josh questioned.

“I’d like that, However, only if she gives approval. Can we talk to your ship’s doctor?”

“Ask for Nessa,” Tilly whispered.

* * *

 

Christopher Pike noticed that Miriam Pike had reached out to him.  He didn’t think anything of it, as it was Christmas after all, so he waited until he had a few free moments.

“Merry Christmas,” he greeted his stepmother. “You’re early. Not that I’m complaining, I love hearing from you. I got the Christmas pajamas you sent me. I see this year’s motif is the always understated Drunken Polar bears?”

“Merry Christmas, Chris. I’m actually calling because your father asked me to, and they are DANCING polar bears,” Miriam explained.  “There was a train derailment…”

“Was he hurt?” Chris interrupted.

“No, no, no. Anyway, Sylvia Tilly was on the train… I guess she decided to spend the holidays on the holiday train from San Fran to Chicago. There was a malfunction and the train derailed.”

Chris decided it was best to sit down then.

“Is.. she… ok?”  He questioned. 

“Elenora Ambrosini says her head was rung like a church bell and that she’s concerned that she’s had a previous concussion or two in the last few months. Can your doctor talk to her? Tilly said that… Nessa… can talk to Ellie? I’ll forward you the clinic information.”

“I’ll have her reach out to her. Keep an eye out for Tilly, please?” Chris requested.

“We’re pretending that we don’t about her, and what happened between you two.  Depending on what Ellie says, we may have her stay with us for the holiday?” Miriam offered that carefully to see if Chris was ok with that.  “If she’s concussed, they won’t let her use a transporter to go home until she’s cleared. I don’t want to put her in a hotel room if she has nobody to keep an eye out for her.”

Chris said nothing, as the very idea of Josh Pike and Sylvia Tilly in the same room for an extended period of time, no doubt wearing matching drunken, dancing polar bear PJs, sipping champurrados and eating Christmas cookies had caused his mind to implode and leak out his ears.   They’d either hate each other or adopt each other, and he was leaning towards the adoption aspect. 

“Josh promises to behave, and I will make him. Promise! He’s putting his foot down on this, Chris, as she's Starfleet. He’d offer our spare room to any other Starfleet personnel who needed it, and…”

“It’s very generous of him,” Chris finally stated. “I’ll go get Nessa. She’s Chistorian, so she’s blue and has a tail, plus a prehensile tongue. Is Ambrosini ok with aliens? Especially small blue ones?”

“Ambrosini’s actually disabled-out Star Fleet. She’s legacy, so her parents and Josh go way back. She was looking for a place to land after the Battle of the Binary Stars ended her career and we needed a doctor.”

* * *

 

“Ellie, the doctor you’ll converse with is a Chistorian. Are you familiar with them? They’re new to the Federation, so you may not have seen one yet. They’re small, blue, possess prehensile tongues and they have tails.” Josh spoke quietly as Tilly was dozing from all the medication Ellie had given her. 

“Blue?” Ellie questioned. “Andorian blue? Bolarian blue?”

“I’d say cornflower blue.  They’re exceedingly proud of being blue,” Josh advised her.

“Ok, I just have to ask a few things and then if I’m happy with the answers, I can release Tilly if she has a place to stay for the next week.”

“Got a spare room or three as we don’t have any foster kids currently. Miriam would love a chance to spoil someone for Christmas as it appears unlikely that we’ll ever have grandkids.” Josh admitted. “Still coming over for dinner tomorrow?”

“Of course. There’s no way I’d miss one of Miriam’s home cooked meals. Now, if you don’t mind, Josh.  Out!” The doctor pointed towards the door. “Patient confidentiality.”

Josh was escorted to the door, and after the security filter enacted, she clicked a button. There on the view screen appeared a small alien who, yes, was exceedingly blue.

“Hi. I’m Nessa. Is our patient behaving?” The alien asked. 

“I can hear you,” moaned Tilly.  She then struggled to sit up so Ellie helped her. “Now that’s Josh is gone, how’s the baby? He just wouldn’t leave; he was **_hovering_ **.”

Ellie laughed, “She’s fine.  Perfectly healthy and the very picture of perfection. If there had been anything to worry about, I would have removed Pike so we could talk.  Now, close your eyes, I want to talk with your doctor about your head.”

The two doctors conversed for a bit, then Nessa requested to speak with Tilly alone for a few minutes. After Ellie left, Nessa leaned towards the screen.

“Everything looks good. You just need to rest for both your sakes for the next few days until she clears you. I like her. She’s competent, which is very high praise from me. Now, **_behave_ **. Also, Captain Pike wishes to speak with you.”

“Can I just claim I’m unconscious?” Tilly quipped.

“No, because he’s standing outside my office and he’s glaring at me. If I had anything faintly resembling a soul, it would have been shriveled into nothingness by now. As it is, I do feel a mite dyspeptic.  I think he just wants to make sure you’re OK.”

Nessa then waved.

“Yet another dirty look from Captain Dimples. Just for that last look, I’m staying here when he talks to you. Remember, you can always pull a … swoon… You know, feel dizzy and then close your eyes. I’ll have to shut him down then. Men, like him, so tough, so strong, freak out when women faint,” Nessa advised.

“He won’t,” Tilly promised. “He doesn’t care.”

“He does, that’s the problem with this entire mess. He’s just male,” the little blue doctor explained. 

* * *

 

The door to Nessa’s office (It wasn’t an office, it was **_closet_ **, a very small closet, a prone to claustrophobia Pike noticed) opened and then she waved him in.

“Come in, come in. My office is pretty small, but such are the trials of being a junior office. Culber has a bigger office than I do which is rather…” the doctor prattled. 

“I want to speak to Ensign Tilly,” interrupted Pike. He didn’t bother to hide his annoyance.

One blue handed gestured when she assured him, “Go right ahead, Captain.”

“Alone,” he stated.

“ **_No_ ** . She’s my patient as I’m the consulting physician on her case. I will be keeping an eye on her when you talk to her because she has had multiple concussions in the last few months plus the Breen played with her biochemistry. I need to be here, monitoring and in this case, to misquote someone near and dear to us, the **_caduceus_ ** outranks the **_chair_ **.”

Pike glared and Nessa just smiled.  Angelically. For added annoyance, she tapped the medical insignia on her badge.

“Don’t look like that when you talk to her. You’ll scare her,” Nessa offered.

And to her dying day, Nessa would never admit that she had jumped away from Pike from he growled at her. She did have a reputation to maintain. But she also had a tail to protect and from first hand knowledge, she knew that Pike had very big feet and wasn't afraid to stomp on cute little blue doctors.

“Hi,” Tilly stated.  The ensign appeared quite pale, and her bright red hair was splattered with blood.  “I know I look a mess but head injuries always bleed a lot.”

Nessa watched intently as Pike seemed to relax.

**_Oh yeah, Tilly, Captain Pike does care. Entirely too much._ **

“Are you OK? How are you feeling? How… how… did you end up meeting my father? Is he behaving?” Pike’s voice was very soft.

“Typical Tilly,” the red head explained. “Thought it would be nice to have some time alone, took a train ride, and it derailed. In Mojave. And your father was…” Tilly slowed down before she continued, “He was the first medic on the scene. He’s been very… charming…  made sure I got seen at Urgent Care. I think I’ve been invited to stay for Christmas. He asked me my pajama size?”

Pike stopped and turned to Nessa, “Did they clear her head?”

“Yes,” Nessa explained even as she pulled up the assorted scans. “Why do you ask?”

“My father has never, in his life, been described as **_charming_ **,” Chris protested. “She’s having delusions.”

“Captain?” Tilly interrupted. “Does your very **_delightful_ **father know who I am? About the Breen? About what happened between us on the Janus?”

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Nessa poked Pike and gestured that he was to wrap up the call.

“No,” Chris stated. “He and I…. we’re not particularly close…Miriam doesn’t know either… so you just get some sleep, ok? Don’t worry if you have to stay with them for a bit, because… they don’t know… They’re good people… so they’re helping you out because you’re Star Fleet plus you’re one of my crew. For no other reason than that. You get some rest now?” 

“Ok. If you don’t need anything else, I’m gonna close my eyes for a bit. I just don’t feel so good,” Tilly protested as she wilted. Literally.

Nessa tapped at her screen and then she turned to Pike. “Ellie will be there in just a moment. Apparently, Admiral Pike just witnessed this and he’s demanding answers.  Like father, like son, eh?”

* * *

 

“I’m discharging you into the capable hands of Josh,” Ellie informed Tilly.  The doctor then detailed what Josh and Tilly needed to watch out for, symptom-wise and then assisted her to Josh’s Jeep. “I want to keep you under observation because of your multiple concussions so you’re staying with Josh and Miriam. Behave and you can stay with them, any shenanigans and I’ll admit your ass to the local hospital so fast that your head will spin in an all too unpleasant manner.”

“You’re scary,” Tilly informed her. “You remind me of Nessa, only not blue and no tail.”

“I'm scary because I care. I’ll see you later today for Christmas at the Pikes.  When you get to the ranch, Miriam has my permission to wash your hair and then off to bed with you. If she’s good, Josh, she can have some cookies and milk prior to bed.”

Josh smiled. His smile reminded Tilly so much of Chris that she had to look away.

“Made them myself,” he bragged. 

“You did not, you big scammer,” Ellie protested.  “He wants brownie points.”

“I did make those!”

* * *

 

After a long day, Christopher Pike returned to his ready room.  There was an urgent message from one Ambassador Siobhan Tilly that was flagged Really Super Duper Important so, as it had been THAT type of day, he regretfully decided to listen to it.

The Ambassador had a thorough command of Federal Standard as she vivisected him viciously. The verbal onslaught started with accusations of a debauched Chris sleeping with a hopelessly naïve ensign and then… then… sending her off in SHAME to hide with his father.

“Great, Tilly. You must have left a message, hey I’m fine. Staying at the Pikes.”  

He closed his eyes, counted from 100 to zero backwards, twice.  He was quite sure Ambassador Siobhan Tilly would **_not_ ** appreciate being informed that her daughter was quite advanced in carnal matters. That thought led to a brief flash of… remembered intimacy with Sylvia, how she giggled and laughed, and…  he savagely squashed those thoughts. Chris couldn’t control if he dreamed about her, but like hell would he permit him to think about her in THAT way when he was awake.

Then he realized that he wasn’t alone in his ready room. He stood quickly, far too quickly as he knocked over his chair in reaction to her presence.

It was… someone he never thought he would see again. Never in his lifetime. No, as she was on Talos IV. 

“Lt. Singh, life sign count please?”  Pike requested. 

**_Let it be two hundred and ten. Let it be. Michael Burnham had left for personal leave, and… there should be only two hundred and ten. 212 was Tilly, 211 is Burnham._ **

“Two hundred and ten, Sir. I am not detecting any increase in tachyons at this time, Sir,” the young lieutenant informed him. 

Vina attempted to smile, but she seemed… **_hurt_ **…

“I’m not used to you being afraid of me,” she stated softly.

**_What?_ **

She reached for him, and he stepped backwards. 

“Why am I seeing you?” Chris questioned.  

So, help him, God, he felt drawn physically to her, like a moth to the flame. And she to him, as she placed her hands… that he could **_feel_ **… on his face. She stared into his eyes, hopefully, and then her smile faded. Her hands dropped to her sides, and she turned away from him. However, he did see the unshed tears in her eyes. 

“Who is she?” Vina asked softly as she hugged herself. 

“Who?” Chris questioned.

“The red head?”  she questioned. “The one you’re in love with?”

His stomach dropped to his knees. 

“You owe me answers before I answer yours, Vina. Why am I seeing you? Why did you say that you’re not used to me being afraid of you? This is the first time I’ve seen you since Talos. Unless it’s been you popping in at odd times as that little girl?”

“What little girl?” Vina questioned. “What’s her name?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. "Maybe Will?"

_“What’s your name?” he asked the little girl._

_She was… maybe… five ish…  This time, she brought along a friend, a large, well-loved stuffed tardigrade. It was a faded blue and it matched the little tardigrade slippers on her feet.  Her curly hair was contained in two braids and she was absolutely adorable in her Christmas pajama set that was emblazoned with assorted baby aliens wearing Santa Hats.  Yes, the stuffed tardigrade had a matching shirt._

_She giggled. “Will… Silly…”_

Pike flinched and stepped far away from her. “No telepathy. Never again, not after what the Talosians did to me.”

Vina hunched her shoulders, and confessed softly, “I just wanted to see her… to see if she was... **_ours…_ **.”

“ **_Ours_ ** ?” Pike repeated. He fought an incredible urge to vomit, and he protested, “I left that planet years ago. Didn’t I? Am I still **_there_ ** ? Is this an **_illusion_**? **_AM I STILL ON TALOS IV_**?”

He hit his desk hard. He felt the pain run up his hand, up his forearm.  Was that only a hallucination? That girl was his **_daughter_ **?

“She’s not… ours… she’s **_yours_ ** though… and she loves you so very much which is why she visits you.”

“What?” Pike protested. “This makes no sense to me. Our children?  I never had sex with you, Vina. Imaginary or otherwise, unless those Talosians decided to take a deposit for their own nefarious purposes. And you’re telling me that I have a daughter who just pops in and out whenever she feels like it? When she’s born, I’m **_grounding_ ** her until she’s twenty-five. Absolutely, positively no time travel until then.”

“No, no,” Vina insisted. “You left… but … when I realized what I lost…”

“I wanted you to come with me, to leave that place,” Pike protested softly.

“I didn’t take it well, because I realized what I had lost. So, they…gave me **_you_ **…” Vina explained. “A whole lifetime with you… but you wanted children… and I … couldn’t give you that… but I had hoped…”

Vina stopped and pulled herself together. “They sent me here to talk to you.”

“The Talosians? I’m really not interested in fathering a slave race,” Pike reminded her.  “Tell them to rob a sperm bank.”

He sat down in his chair even as he tried not to remember Vina asking him about the redhead. Willa Pike had had auburn hair, he reminded himself. She’d had auburn hair. Auburn, red hair, the color of the Mojave sunset… when the sunset seemed to set the entire desert on fire with a warm red hue. 

Not the same shade as Sylvia’s hair; her hair was the color of flames… the color of desire… 

**_No, Willa Pike had had auburn hair._ **

“No, it’s Spock and Burnham. They’re on Talos IV and they are in a great deal of trouble. You need to rescue them.”  Vina then reached for him, and he recoiled, instinctively.

“Are you mad at me?” She whispered.

“The Talosians made a copy of me… and you’ve been…,” **_Fucking him_ ** , **_pretending that he was me, talking about the future, talking about children_ ** , **_pretending that we had a life together_** , **_I feel violated!,_**  he wanted to roar. Instead, he kept it to a soft protest as he couldn’t permit himself to lose control.  Not when Spock’s and Burnham’s lives hung in the balance. “You come here, read my mind without so much as asking me, and …. then you decide to inform me that my officers are in danger? If you knew me at all, Vina, you would know that was done most assuredly in the wrong order. Go back to your faux Christopher, Vina. I have people to save.”

“I’m sorry,” Vina wept.

“It’s not your fault, Vina. It’s the Talosians. They’ve played mind games with you for so long that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to **_be_ ** human. You are nothing but an amusement to them, a pet, Vina. A pet. You deserve better. No one should be treated like that.” 

* * *

 

Miriam Pike was bloody intimidating. She had Tilly’s hair washed and dried in quick order, then had her ensconced in the Pike’s guest bedroom even while she ordered her husband around like a spanking brand new ensign.

_No, not that blanket.  The green one. Throw it in the dryer so it’s nice and warm and cozy when she goes to bed. I need the blue fuzzy towels… Did you pull the pillows out for the spare room?_

“We’ll be doing a spot check through the night to make sure you’re ok,” Miriam assured her. “Now, time for your medication.”

She gave a really good hypo, Tilly admitted. 

“Now, close your eyes, and go to sleep else Santa will not come,” Miriam teased. 

“I haven’t been a very good girl this year,” murmured Tilly. 

“I’ll give Santa the what-for then,” Miriam assured her. 

Between her exhaustion, and the hypo, Tilly was soon deeply asleep. The two Pikes quietly left her room and returned to the kitchen for cookies and champurrados. 

“I bought a spare blanket a few months ago for the spare room but I never opened it. You can wrap it. That way she has a present in the morning,” Miriam informed her husband. “Sylvia’s mother called and left a message. Ambassador Siobhan Tilly needs to learn some manners, so I will be calling her back. She accused Chris of taking advantage of her daughter,  and that Chris had shipped her here to save his career.”

Josh put down his champurrado so hard that the table shook.

“I’ll call her,” he growled. “No one talks about my son like that. Willa raised him proper.”

 

* * *

A heartbroken Vina returned to Talos.  Her Christopher Pike greeted her. The faux Christopher Pike, she realized anew.

“How about you and I take Tango and MaryJane for a nice, long ride out to the quarry?” Chris offered. “We can have a picnic?”

“You’re not real,” she informed her Chris.

“I hate when you talk like this, darling.  I need to prove to you that I am real. I am real,” Pike assured her. He kissed her hard, passionately and Vina felt herself respond as she always did. “Let’s go to the quarry and let’s try to make a baby, shall we? I know how much you want one. Practice makes perfect.”

“No,” Vina protested. She slapped him hard in a futile attempt to take back control. “You are not real. You are not Christopher. You are an **_illusion_ ** because the **_real_ ** Christopher Pike is in love with someone else and he **_hates_ ** me.”

Her hand stung and burned and Christopher Pike shook his head.   “What has gotten into your head, Vina?”

“I am not a pet,” she protested tearfully. “I am not a Talosian pet.”

* * *

 

**_Sabotage._ **

The spore drive wouldn’t operate due to deliberate sabotage, so Pike announced that the ship was heading toward Starbase 11 for needed repairs.  And Section 31 caught up with them, which meant that he had a traitor in on his ship. Now, God help him, he had a choice between tearing Spock and Burnham apart in a battle of the transporters or losing them to Section 31. Meanwhile, everyone was waiting for him to make the correct decision. 

 **_What do I do? What do I do?_ ** Christopher asked himself.

“Sir, we’re getting a tachyon spike,” Singh announced. “It’s possesses the same recurrent quantum signature of the other spikes I’ve reported to you.”

 **_Let them go. Everything will be OK_ ** _._

It was the girl again. She was older, in the throes of awkward coltish adolescence and she was close to his height. Chris was surprised when she placed her hand on his right cheek. Hesitantly, as though fearful of hurting him. 

**_Everything will be OK. Promise._ **

**_Am I your father?_ **

**_Things are changing rapidly, as everything is in flux and that answer changes on when you ask me.   Yes. No. I was born. I wasn’t born. You loved me. You never knew me. You broke Mama’s heart uncaringly. You healed Mama with a great deal of patience and gentle determination. You left because you had no choice and you broke her heart. You made the choice to stay and the universe died. You saved the universe. You died, and the universe died with you in a smoldering pile of ashes. You were the strongest person the universe had ever known and you carried a burden of unspeakable weight alone.  Yet in another time and place, you broke because it was too much for one man to carry. For now, please let Spock and Burnham go. Trust me. Please._ **

“Discontinue the transporter beam,” Pike requested. 

He heard the sharp intake of his crew as they couldn’t believe that he had just let Section 31 take his crew. He didn’t believe it either.

“Sir?” Owo announced. “Commander Burnham and Lt. Spock are now in our transporter room.  They’re on board, Sir.”

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” Pike informed Owo. “I think the universe owes us something, don’t you? Now, let’s warp away before Section 31 realizes that the games afoot.” 

 


	32. Chapter 32

We last left Sylvia Tilly relying on the kindness of strangers aka Papa and StepMama Pike.

* * *

 

When Tilly roused, it took several minutes for her to remember where she was. 

**_Oh yeah, I’m at Captain Pike’s parents’ house. In his boyhood bedroom. This is certainly fucking weird._ **

Between her stomach and her headache, she predicted an imminent session of vomiting in her immediate future. 

“Easy, I’ve got a bucket,” Miriam Pike informed Tilly even as Tilly bolted upright.  “Use it if you need it. This might help. Also, let’s keep the lights dimmed.”

Soft dabs of a cool, wet cloth on her forehead helped settle her stomach.

“I have a hypo that has your name on it,” Miriam advised her as she brushed Tilly’s hair out of her eyes.  The hypo was administered with a great deal of gentle finesse so Sylvia barely felt it. “It will help your stomach and your headache. Then you can sip some flat ginger ale. I can get you some toast? Or some soup?”

“Soup for breakfast?” Tilly questioned.

“Josh and I do a lot of fosters. The kids show up, confused and overwhelmed, so you feed them what they’ll eat the first few days and then get them on a regular schedule. Josh is a great short order cook.”

“Toast, with butter?” was her simple request.

“That’s it?” Miriam questioned.  “Josh will be so disappointed that he doesn’t get to make a mess in the kitchen.”

“Maybe some jam?” Tilly questioned. “I don’t mean to be a bother.”

“You’re not.”

* * *

 

“Sir, I do not believe that you contacting the Ambassador was the best way to handle this,” protested Chris.

Damn it, Chris felt as though he had regressed back to ten years of age, plus wearing the drunken Polar Bear PJs didn’t help promote a sense of maturity. Well, yes, his father was wearing the same style, but his father… his father had contacted Sylvia’s mother, verbally ripped her a new asshole or three with the old testament voice used normally to discuss fiery damnation in the afterlife, and then had severed the connection. 

That message sent, Josh had set his service to reject the Ambassador’s attempts to contact him.

The Ambassador had then decided to harass Chris after her fifth attempt at contacting Josh had been rebuffed. And because he was a functional adult, (plus a masochist as he was paying off his karma at a very accelerated rate) he decided to answer her. 

Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. 

The conversation had started off poorly, “With a father like yours, no wonder you act the way you do…” and it had gone downhill from there.  Fortunately, he had been armored in his bathrobe so she couldn’t view the drunken polar bears. Her respect for him, already at a low point, would have reached a new nadir. 

“She threatened to call the cops to have Sylvia removed from the house, Chris. In between the hysterics about her virginal daughter deflowered, victimized and discarded by a sleazy fleet officer.”

Chris moaned and shook her head. 

“’Sides, it was Miriam who told her that it was pretty apparent why Sylvia didn’t reach out to her mother because if Ms. Siobhan was  _ her _ mother, she’d declare herself a ward of the state and throw herself on the mercy of the Klingons. Miriam’s gone Mama Bear so batten down the hatches.”

Chris counted backwards from one hundred. He had gotten to seventy-seven when Miriam joined the conversation. She was not wearing drunken polar bears, but what appeared to be an army of armadillos wearing Santa hats. 

“Merry Christmas, Chris!” She exclaimed. Greetings exchanged; she gave marching orders to her favorite ensign. “Josh, Sylvia would like some toast for breakfast.  Butter, assorted jams/jellies on the side. Nothing spicy per Elli, so no peach habanero jelly, and no caffeine.”

Josh disappeared and Miriam smiled. “Her color is much better though she still looks rather drained.”

“Miriam, you did not seriously inform Sylvia’s mother that if you were her daughter, you’d declare yourself an orphan and run to the Klingons for help?”  Chris asked. He wasn’t sure if he should chastise his stepmother or just laugh. 

Maybe both.

Maybe neither.

Maybe there was a shot of whisky calling his name. 

Miriam Pike stated clearly, “Guilty. That…  **_woman_ ** ….” She growled. “Have you had the pleasure of meeting her?”

“She just vivisected me via the miracles of interstellar communication,” Chris admitted. “Sylvia and I had discussed her when we were on the Janus. The few times Sylvia mentioned her mother she’d get… really… really… rattled, and I’d have to reassure her until she was back to being Sylvia again….”

Yeah, he reassured her repeatedly in the tried and traditional way – in bed. 

Flash.  

**_His temporal visitor and her stuffed tardigrade._ **

**_The crazy curls and her rather impressive vocabulary for someone so young.  Will was an odd name for a little girl… unless it was a shortened version of her real name._ **

**_Wilhelmina…_ **

**_The stuffed tardigrade._ **

**_Willa…._ **

**_Sylvia had asked me my mother’s first name as she wanted to name our first child after her._ **

**_Will…._ **

**_“_ ** **_Papa says that Mama gets like this because of Grandma and we just have to love her a little more until she’s back to being Mama again.”_ **

**_Sylvia?_ **

**_Willa?_ **

**_Oh, my dear God._ **

**_Is Sylvia pregnant?_ **

**_Wait, don’t jump to conclusions._ **

**_Figure this out, Sylvia had multiple exams.  Would Galen have lied about the results? He has no loyalty to me, and his entire culture is matriarchal based. I kept saying how glad I was that she wasn’t pregnant. How it would have been a huge mistake if I had gotten her pregnant._ **

**_So yes, if someone… Sylvia… had gone to Galen, terrified and had begged him for help, would he have helped her? Vaya had called Sylvia little sister and had adopted her as a foundling. Yeah, I know he’s technically not part of the clan anymore, but every Tolerian on the ship had treated Tilly as a long lost family member._ **

**_Hell, yes, Galen would have lied because Sylvia asked him… because he’s not just an empath, he’s a telepath. He’d comprehend how terrified Sylvia was._ **

**_She was about to tell me… something… something significant… and it hadn’t been about May._ **

**_She pleaded with me to understand, begged me not to be angry with her.  That she had wanted to tell me, but she didn’t know how to tell me._ **

**_Oh, my dear God.  Will was… is…. 214._ **

**_Our daughter is…. Crew member 214?!?!_ **

**_Thank God, she’s with Miriam. Miriam will mother hen Sylvia into utter submission, and knit her a scarf. I just hope that she doesn’t run because of her mother._ **

Flash. 

“Chris?”  Miriam requested. 

“Just realized that Sylvia will need to be informed that you know who she is. I should tell her,” Chris stated. “We’ll just say that her mother contacted you and that you reached out to me for details because I hadn’t told you who she was? So, you were unsure why the Ambassador was hurling accusations?”

Miriam nodded her head, before she added, “From what I can tell, Sylvia’s running from whatever is bothering her, Chris. Wouldn’t be surprised if her mother’s involved.”

Chris nodded his head. 

**_And I’d be damn surprised if she wasn’t running from me._ **

“I’ll go ask if she’s up to talking to you, and I’ll let Josh know what the deal is,” Miriam promised. 

* * *

 

Sylvia Tilly did a quick washup and then presented herself to the kitchen. Miriam and Josh were intent on a low conversation and they broke apart when they saw her. 

“Sylvia, Chris needs to talk to you, if you don’t mind,” Josh’s tone was very serious. 

“I’ll call him back when I’m not wearing my Christmas Cacti Pajamas?” Tilly offered. Her stomach rebelled at the thought of talking to Chris. “They’re not Star Fleet approved.”

“No, this can’t wait, dear,” Josh insisted. “”Sides, he’s wearing his polar bear pajamas right now.”

Sylvia giggled. “Polar bears?”

“Polar bears,” Miriam assured. “Dancing polar bears, not drunken polar bears.”

* * *

 

“Are those Christmas Cacti with Santa hats?” was Chris’ first question. And yes, he was wearing drunken dancing polar bears pjs. 

“Yes, they are. The polar bears and armadillos were out of stock so I could only get the cacti locally so she was properly dressed for Christmas Eve,” Miriam explained. “Now, go talk. We’ll have breakfast ready for you, Sylvia.”

Chris noticed that Sylvia placed one hand over her stomach while she swallowed repeatedly. She was paler than her norm, and there were circles under her eyes, but… was something different about her? Were her breasts fuller?  

**_Maybe_ ** ? 

Was he a disgusting pervert who was too focused on his junior officer’s breasts? 

**_Yes_ ** . 

“You feeling ok?” Chris questioned softly. He focused on being supportive, and empathetic.

“Nauseous from the concussion.”

Chris nodded his head, and started off with an easy comment, “I see you’ve been adopted by my parents. You’ve got the mandatory Christmas PJs, and I’m sure you have a stocking with your name on it. Probably even a present or three under the tree.”

He smiled then, while he struggled inwardly to appear approachable, understanding. 

“They’re very kind,” Tilly admitted. “You’re a lot like your father.”

He snorted his disbelief and shook his head. A long deep inhalation and then he spoke, “I wanted to talk to you about a couple things. I just want to put it out there that you can come to me…. With anything… anything at all, and I will… let you talk… and I will… listen… I won’t get angry; I swear to you. I think you wanted to have a serious conversation with me… and I don’t think we ever had it….”

Long pause.

“I’ll listen, Sylvia,” Chris promised softly. Then with all the sincerity he could mention, he prompted, “You were worried about me being angry with you. I swear, I won’t be.  You just need time to process everything and I understand and respect that. Let me help carry the burden, Sylvia.”

She was softening, he could tell.  He’d let her speak, and if he was right about little miss 214, well, he’d let Sylvia talk.  They could work something out, because little Miss 214 was smart and sassy and goddamn adorable.  She was a little Tilly, after all. 

He didn’t see anything of himself in her except for her hair color. 

Sylvia wiped her eyes, and she nodded her head. “I… really… wanted…..”

There was a loud BANG offscreen which shattered the moment irreparably and Sylvia turned from the view screen. 

“Miriam, get Sylvia. I’ll handle this,” Josh roared from the hallway. There was another loud bang as he… exploded… out into the front yard. 

Josh Pike, Retired Star Fleet admiral, had seen his ninetieth birthday several years earlier. He was clad in brightly colored pjs with drunken polar bears merrily dancing around assorted Christmas trees; however, he still was a force with which to be reckoned. 

“Captain Santana, I missed you at church last week. Now it’s the Lord’s birthday, so tell your squad to lower their guns, and to get the hell out of Willa’s flower garden. If these shenanigans are due to Ambassador Tilly, she will find out first hand that she just made the biggest mistake of her entire life as she will regret bitterly the first time her granny laid eyes on her grandfather.  As it is, I’m sending her the bill to fix Willa’s flowerbed because LeDuc and his huge feet have  **_trampled_ ** the Andorian Roses that Admiral Mahirn gave Miriam as a wedding present. This old dog still has all his teeth, and my bark ain’t nothing compared to my bite.”

“My mother?” Sylvia whispered.

“She called my father and she called me. She was furious, she thinks I have you hidden in Mojave to save my career,” Chris admitted. 

Tilly blanched, and she put her hands over her mouth.  “Did she say something to your father about what happened on the Janus?”

“He called me because your mother had mentioned the Janus,” Chris stated.

“W-w-wwhat did you tell him?”  Tilly stuttered.

“The truth,” admitted Chris.  He said it straightforward, not wanting to cause her any additional pain, but yet there was no way to soften the blow.

Her eyes welled with tears, as she protested tearfully, “ **_Why_ ** ? Why is my sexual history so goddamn important that everyone needs to know?”

“Your mother mentioned it to Josh. He knows, because I refused to be ashamed of what happened between us. I wouldn’t disrespect you like that.” Christ leaned towards the viewscreen and insisted with complete and utter sincerity, “You were my sanity on that ship.”

“I’ve got to go, I’ve got to stop this,” Sylvia protested. “My mother’s insane!”

“My father is an unwavering force of nature. He’ll win, your mother doesn’t stand a chance,” Chris stated. 

Tilly shook her head, and rubbed her eyes. 

“Ambassador, I took your daughter in my own home as an act of Christian charity. For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me into your home,” Josh thundered from the front yard. Then in a full roar, he added, “ **_For I had a grade three concussion and I had no place to stay for Christmas!_ ** ”

“He’s quoting the book of Matthew, with an apparent addendum, which means most likely he’ll quote the Guru Granth Sahib next. Having survived forty-five years of arguments with him, he’s got a while before he reaches the summation of his argument,” Chris explained with a crooked smile.  

“Your father has been really kind,” Sylvia protested. 

“He was very much into tough love,” Chris admitted softly. He looked away from Tilly when he made that confession.  “He worshipped the ground my mother walked on though. When she died, he just… and… we just stopped talking for a while. It is still tense at times.”

“I remember you told me that,” Sylvia stated quietly. 

She earned a slight smile from Chris then. 

Miriam then entered the room, carrying a tray and Chris exhaled, “What’s happening? Why is Josh on a rampage?”

“Your father is ramping up the fire and brimstone. There are several cops out there who have seemingly lost control of their bladders, and he hasn’t even gotten to full volume yet.” Miriam quipped as she closed the door with her foot. “The Ambassador is not in our yard, but instead she is a hologram. Josh is being his usual sweet self and insisted on  **_standing_ ** in the hologram, so your mother has him directly in her face. There are times I could strangle him, and cheerfully so, but today is not one of those days.”

She then placed the tray in front of Sylvia. There was a pile of toast, assorted fruit jams, a small jar of peanut butter, plus some fruit juice. 

“Coffee?” Tilly requested hopefully.

“No,” Chris inserted. “Concussion, no caffeine.”

“No,” Miriam stated. “Doc said, no coffee. I figured we could have breakfast together while Josh and your mother converse. Chris? What time is it there, dear?”

“Gamma shift,” was the response.   “I’ll pass on eating as I need to be up in five hours. I’m staying up until I find out if Josh has created an intergalactic incident.” 

Miriam then made conversation, but she was not completely successful in keeping Tilly from focusing on the now significantly quieter conversation on the front yard.  Instead of listening to Miriam, Tilly nibbled at her toast that she had liberally smeared with peanut butter.

The front door opened and closed.

“On the positive side, no shots fired,” Miriam quipped which earned a dimpled grin from Chris. “I do hate getting bloodstains out of the wood floors.”

Josh growled when he overheard Miriam’s quip.

“ Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? ” Josh questioned.

“No obvious wounds, you’re still in the book of Matthew, and you’re not arrested. So what happened?” Miriam questioned.

“Sylvia will call her mother later today when she feels up to it.  The Ambassador Tilly was reassured by Captain Santana of the Mojave Police Department that there was no possible way Chris caused the train derailment. She’ll be stopping by daily to do ‘welfare checks’ to confirm that you’re being treated well. Then when Doctor Ambrosini has confirmed that it’s safe for Sylvia to fly, we will take her to France where her grandparents are living.”

Chris muttered an obscenity which caused an arched eyebrow from Josh.

“I assured your overly protective mother that I will personally deliver you to your grandmother Adele and Quinn when you are able to fly again. Miriam, we’re going to France in a week or so,” Josh explained as he sat down. He glanced at the table and appeared to pout, “No coffee?”

“No, as she would have coveted her host’s coffee,” Miriam retorted. “We shall not lead you into temptation, Sylvia.”

“Do you guys always quote the Bible at each other?” Tilly asked. “It’s kinda cute, in an odd little way.”

Josh Pike dimpled while he barked a laugh. Yes, Sylvia noticed, he had the same dimples Chris did. 

“We save it for special occasions. Miriam, LeDuc stepped on your Andorian Roses, I’ll have to see if Mahirn can make some recommendations on how to heal them.”

“Mahirn?” Tilly questioned as that name tickled her memory. “The Andorian Admiral?”

“Yep, he’s Chris’ godfather. He retired a while ago and his retirement consists of gardens full of  champion Andorian Roses. Interesting plants. The male plants have three-inch thorns,” Josh explained. 

“Mahirn seemed to have been implying something about my husband,” Miriam inserted in a very dry tone. 

Tilly giggled at Josh's look of hurt, so Chris signed off, after telling Sylvia to call him if she needed anything.

The communication link down, Sylvia then collapsed inwardly.

“You look exhausted, dear. I’m sure Chris didn’t notice that you were feeling poorly,” Miriam stated softly. “Shall we put you to bed?”

“I think that would be a really good idea,” Tilly admitted. She admitted shakily, “I’m feeling a little unsteady.”

Josh held out his arm, “Lean on, dear. We’ll get you to bed.”

It took her a few minutes to stand, longer to feel steady enough to walk to the bedroom, but Josh Pike was a sturdy support. 

“I’m so sorry about my mother, I can’t apologize enough,” Sylvia whispered. She then turned to Miriam and then stated very intensely, “I’m very sorry about your roses.”

“You’re getting a hypo, as you look exhausted,” Miriam informed Tilly. “Then you can get some sleep. We’ll open presents later when you’re up. Santa assured me that you were very good this past year and he managed to locate you here.”

“Santa is rather impressive, should work for Section 31,” quipped Josh. 

* * *

 

After Sylvia was tucked into bed, the Pikes met downstairs where Josh was given his coffee. He took a long, slow sip and everything was once again right in his world. 

“So, what do you think?” he asked Miriam.

“She seems really sweet considering her mother,” Miriam offered.

“No, Chris and her,” prompted Josh.  “He’s exceedingly protective... one might think that …”

“Finish your coffee,” Miriam Pike ordered her favorite ensign. “I want grandchildren too, but it’s just not happening, Josh.”

“From what I can tell, Chris is exceedingly fond of her,” was Josh’s last comment on the matter.

For now.  

-=-=

Christopher Pike rubbed his eyes, and decided it was long past time for bed.  Sylvia had appeared extremely wan during their conversation and he hoped that he was merely being overly protective. 

“Merry Christmas, Will,” he whispered. “Give Chester a kiss from your Papa.”

-=-=-

The next week was bit of a blur for Tilly as she slept for most of it. Between the repeat concussion and Willa, her body decided that it was best just to rest.  Tilly managed to make an appearance for the Pike Christmas dinner, still clad in her Christmas Cacti pajamas. 

“So, Tilly, your grandparents Adele and Quinn sent us some French pastries for Christmas. They’re not trying to poison us? Are they?” Josh quipped. His easy smile showed his complete lack of concern.

“I simply cannot imagine how much that cost to send it,” Miriam murmured as she smacked Josh’s hand as he attempted to steal a pâte à choux. “I hope our Christmas doesn’t appear too shabby compared to what you’re familiar with.”

“I was usually at boarding school during the holidays,” Tilly admitted. She touched the heshi necklace that had been in her Christmas stocking on which Miriam had somehow managed to embroider her name! “Between this, the blanket and you taking me in for the holidays, I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

“It’s the concussion,” Josh informed her. “Right, El?”

Doctor Elli Ambrosini nodded her head. It seems that she had been adopted by the Pikes also. 

“Josh will say Grace, then let’s tuck in,” Miriam announced. “I wasn’t sure what spices you liked, so not everything is melt your tongue hot.”

_ Willa, I think you are going to love your grandparents on the Pike side. _

It was with a heavy heart that she said goodbye to them after a week’s respite.

* * *

The next week seemed to last a lifetime for Chris.

Airiam was infiltrated by Control but had died fighting; her last words included a much-needed clue to the identity of the red angel. Her demise was a tremendous blow to crew morale as Airiam had been extremely well liked and a respected member of the Discovery crew. It pained Christopher to know that he’d never known her better. He had been… rather… chary with conversations with her as her synthetic rebuild had disconcerted him. The review of her records had triggered an intensively claustrophobic reaction in him, the thought of being alive only due to machinery had deeply disturbed him. 

Events seemed to pick up speed after Airiam’s demise.  Leland, his former friend, was now the face of the enemy…  Project Daedalus, the hint to the Red Angel, led to a tense meeting with Gabrielle Burnham.

_ “I could say more about your future, but you won't like it.” _

Her words haunted him, disturbed his sleep and he wasn’t surprised when Will (and Chester, the stuffed Tardigrade) appeared after a particularly nasty nightmare. He had been trapped, unable to speak, unable to move, encased in a machine that kept him alive, even while he  **_screamed_ ** mentally.

**_Let me die, let me die, why won’t you let me die?_ **

The nightmare had triggered the old sensation of his childhood asthma where he had struggled to breathe.

Will was really young, maybe three or four… and she clung to him for protection.

Who was he fooling? He clung to her and the stuffed Tardigrade.

“Nightmare?” Pike questioned.

She nodded her head. 

“Papa will protect you, promise,” he whispered.

 

**_Editor’s note:_ **

**_Next stop – Boreth._ **


	33. Boreth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TY Fiona.

On the USS Discovery 

“We’re being hailed by an unidentified vessel. We’re having difficulty ascertaining the specs on it as it seems to be deliberately camouflaging itself as an asteroid.”

“On screen,” Christopher Pike then reviewed the design of the ship, nodded his head when he stated, “Looks like they’re running contraband. Who are we being hailed by, Bryce?”

Lt. Bryce announced, “They won’t say. The message was  _ Nirav, open the hold for a special delivery _ ?”

The chance to tease the very serious Lt. Singh was too good to pass up, so Chris pivoted the Chair of Power towards the mortified Nirav Singh.

“Shall we open the hold doors, Lt.? Looks like your family is dropping off your wedding presents.” 

“Yes, Sir.  Don’t let anyone touch the package. It’s most likely DNA-encoded,” Nirav stated.  “Would you come with me, Sir?”

Pike arched an eyebrow, and nodded his agreement. “Saru, you have the bridge.”

 “Lt. Singh, Star Fleet frowns on smuggling,” Pike reminded his yeoman as they entered the turbo lift.  “However, I’m willing to go easy on you if you split the spoils.”

“It’s not a wedding present. I’d recommend clearing the hold, Sir,” Nirav stated. 

The door shut and Nirav turned towards Pike. 

“They’re dropping off a message for you from the Tolerians,” he explained. “Vaya set this up with me before we left their ship. He foresaw that we’d need a way to communicate that wasn’t easily intercepted if Star Fleet Command had been compromised. We thought using my… familial connections… would be beneficial. My family has been smugglers for many centuries, and we haven’t been caught once.”

Definite familial pride there even though Singh was the white sheep of the family.

Pike nodded his head, and then quietly stated, “Is there anything else that I need to know?”

“No, Sir.” Singh was the perfect picture of complete innocence.

“Singh? Is there anything else I need to know?” Pike repeated. “Any more foresight or advice from Vaya that might prove  **_beneficial_ ** ?”

“Just personal advice for me,” he stated. Pike nodded and waited for Singh to speak. “My breakdown on the Janus was required so the greater purpose of my life could be revealed to me. I will not fail again, Sir.”

That said, the young officer went inward. Pike placed his hand on the younger man’s shoulder, and mentally cursed himself for the wounds he had inflicted.  Sometimes, he forgot that the contemplative and introspective lieutenant was … the same age as Sylvia. Singh just carried himself… as significantly older. 

And Pike wondered what the young Ensign had been like before the Universe had decided to show him what a true bastard it could be. 

“Singh… Nirav… I am deeply sorry for what happened on the Janus,” Pike began. “You and the survivors of the Janus have endured far more than most captains I know.”

“There is no need for apologies, Sir. It was required, to remind me of the simple truth, ‘He who has no faith in himself can never have faith in God’.  I lost my faith when I was on the Janus, and now I must rebuild.”

That said, the turbo lift opened and Singh walked out.  There was a small box in the middle of the hold’s floor and he motioned for Pike to stand clear. There was a beep, and Singh was scanned several times by a green light.  Another beep and the box unbuilt itself to reveal a tablet. 

Singh took the tablet, and examined it.  Pike held out his hand, and Singh shook his head.

“It’s for Commander Reno,” he admitted in surprise. 

* * *

 

“I’ve got mail?” Reno asked. The Commander shook her head in confusion.  “From the Tolerian Prime? He’s the one that gave us those scribbles that we’re trying to decipher? I think he’s been in the Command Chair for too long, he’s lost his edge. Happens to the best.”

Pike arched his eyebrow and Reno added quickly, “But it doesn’t happen to the truly great like you, Sir.” 

A wise Singh said nothing, before he opened the tablet and set it on the table.

“Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh, Nirav,” a female stated.

“Mother Space embrace you, Archon,” was his response to the traditional Sikh greeting.

“I’ve sent this on for your engineer Reno to review. Vaya will be unable to answer any questions as he’s recovering.”

“Recovering from what?” Pike inserted. 

Silence.

“Archon, Captain Pike is requesting clarification of what has happened to the Prime?” Lt. Singh inserted quickly. 

The Archon, head of the Tolerian Empire sighed. Loudly.

“Nirav, he grew frustrated about his inability to break the block on his memories, so he and Galen came up with a solution. Recent events have proved that I am too fond of my seniors and have been far too lax in disciplining them. I think I should throw them out of the airlock for a while to remind them who is in charge. Perhaps a few days in spacesuits spent in quiet contemplation of their recent recklessness might calm them considerably. Nevertheless, this is the result of inserting a neural stimulator directly into Vaya’s medial temporal lobe to force the repressed memories to the surface. I hope Ylsa does not make the same mistake I have done with my husbands, and permits you too much independence.” 

Pike and Reno both wore the same, “huh?” expression at her relationship advice. 

“She keeps me under tight control as is proper, Archon. I assure you,” was Nirav’s serious response. “She knows that I require a firm hand to guide me.”

“I knew there was a reason I approved of her when you introduced us. Advise Captain Pike that when the time comes, we will be there. Be well, Nirav.”

The connection closed and Pike’s face said a million words.

“Sorry, Sir. Since you’re an unmarried male captain of marriageable age, a Tolerian female of her rank can’t really talk to you unless she has a male spouse present. Else rumors would start, especially as you are not a Tolerian,” Nirav explained. “She could talk to me as I’m married.”

Reno snorted a laugh.

“I’ve talked to her before,” Pike protested. 

“The Tolerians were under the impression that you were safe?” That comment was offered very gingerly.

“ **_Safe_ ** ?” Pike repeated

“… Partnered?” He then segued quickly into the next sentence before Pike could react as that meant  **_TILLY_ ** . “Let’s see what the video details?”

He hit play.

Fifteen minutes later after watching Vaya scribble complex formula after complex formulas, Pike commented on the informational dump with a very dry, “Interesting how he wrote those additional formulas right on top of each other so Control would think it was a scratch out. It’s a true shame how much he’s lost by sitting in the command chair, isn’t it, Reno?”

“Time crystals? Do you happen to have a supply of them?” Jett asked. 

“Singh, add a metric ton to the next supply manifest,” Pike quipped. 

“On it, Sir,” Singh agreed. 

“I’ll work on adapting the formulas, sir, but with raw time crystal, it would be easier,” Reno admitted. 

* * *

 

A quick conference with Commander Saru regarding the Tolerian delivery confirmed his suspicion. The Discovery did not possess a secret stash of time crystals.  There was a mention of a certain Harcourt Fenton Mudd which caused Pike to twitch uncontrollably due to unhappy remembrances, but it was quickly determined that Mudd’s device did not contain a sufficient amount of crystals.

That done, Pike called it a very late night and went to bed. He was physically and mentally exhausted, which ensured that he couldn’t sleep. Counting horses didn’t help. Instead he thought about Sylvia… about Willa…  The last he had heard was his parents had turned her over to her grandparents and that Josh had approved of the step-grandfather Gabriel Quinn. 

“He seems sane,” had been Josh’s comment which was high praise indeed from the retired Admiral.

Christopher wondered how far along Syliva was, how long she had known… how many times she had tried to tell him…  and he enumerated every time he had informed her blithely that he was happy that she hadn’t fallen pregnant on the Janus.

**_It would have been a mistake_ ** , he remembered telling her. Plus, how could he forget the oh so sensitively delivered -  **_I only had sex with you because of the drugs._ **

There had been that time on the Janus, when Tilly had retreated back to being body conscious and shy.  She had hidden away under the sheets.

Had it been then that she had realized?

So maybe… four weeks then… and it had been roughly four weeks since they had arrived in Federation space, the trial… MAY… Christmas with his parents… No, do the math again… she was maybe at most twelve weeks?  And he wasn’t there to support her. 

Was Sylvia terrified of his reaction? He couldn’t blame her, because he was a complete and utter asshole.

He was greatly relieved when a red signal decided to announce its arrival over Boreth. His relief grew when it was obvious that he could actually DO something. The Bickersons aka L’Rell and Ash talked too much in front of him and spilled their dirty laundry about secret children, and Klingon monasteries. Pike preferred to be a man of action, therefore, he will travel to Boreth and beg for a Time Crystal, because it’s the only way the universe has a chance.

The only way Willa had a chance.

* * *

 

Cold. Blistering cold. The supposed guardians… oh… sorry Timekeepers refused to give him the crystals and told him to leave. 

“You would let the entire universe burn?” Pike protested. 

“You are not strong enough to bear one,” the head Timekeeper informed him.

Tenavik was obviously Tyler’s son, but he reminded Pike of Chancellor L’Rell also.  L’Rell believed in her Empire, had jumped numerous hurdles to consolidate her power to protect the Empire. Therefore, he hammered away at Tenavik, by mentioning his mother.  Finally, he broke Tenavik down by constant barrage of reminders that if the Universe fell, so did the Klingon Empire, until he was brought face to face to a time crystal. 

“You are not strong enough to bear one,” Tenevik repeated.

Pike’s hand grasped one. 

**Flash.**

_ He’s in front of jewelry store. He can see his reflection in the glass.  He doesn’t seem much older than he is now. At his feet is a large bag, from which Chester the Stuffed Tardigrade’s head appears. The water bear has a jazzy bow applied just so; it appears Chester is styling.  _

_ There are a dozen sparkly rings and he is uncertain about which one to purchase.  There’s a stunning diamond in the middle of the showcase, and he is pulled toward it. He’s seen moons smaller than that, and Sylvia will not doubt that he means business if he presents it. _

_ “Tell me about the lady for whom you want to buy that monster?” a female asks. “What is she like?  What does she do for a living?” _

_ “She’s brilliant, funny, unique. She’s an engineer and she’s got a real knack for it.” _

_ “Take my advice, she’ll never wear it,” the female informs him. _

_ “I beg your pardon?” Chris turns to face the voice.  The lady is probably a few years younger than him. She had black curly hair, with some grey touches and her eyes are stunningly familiar. He has suspicions on who she might be.  _

_ “She’ll never wear it. She’ll  _ **_love_ ** _ it and she’ll never ever wear it except on the rarest of occasions when you ask her to do so, because she will be terrified of ruining it. It’s lovely and gorgeous and it will sit in the box until hell freezes over. Plus, she’ll be horrified how much you spent on it.  Perhaps this one…. The sapphire ring with the flush setting?” _

_ She points at a rather small, plain ring, and Chris tilts his head before he speaks, “Willa Pike, I think your mom deserves a bigger ring.” _

_ Her smile widens.  _

_ “Papa,” the woman whispers in true delight.  “Oh yes, Mama does deserve a huge ring for putting up with the two of us, but she’ll never wear it unless you ask her. She’ll be too nervous about ruining it. But the sapphire is flush against the band. It’s something that she can wear just about every day, even when she’s experimenting. You need to get her a really tough but very pretty stone that can take the punishment. Kinda like Mama, if you know what I mean?” _

_ “Why do I keep seeing you?” Chris questions. _

_ “I was exposed to a repeated onslaught of tachyons during a critical junction of my embryonic development, and you’re my temporal constant during my temporal meanderings.” Then in a conspiratorial tone, she adds, “For the record, we did not tell Mama as she wouldn’t have taken it at all well. As it was, I turned your hair white after one misadventure.” _

_ “And I will? Did? Am?” Chris questions. “What tense should I be using? What did I do to help you?” _

_ “You always gave me the 4 C’s, Chester, Churros, a cup of Champurrado and a cuddle after I traveled. You explained to me that Chester always knew when he was, and he’d be with me on my travels. You are the best Papa a girl could ever have, especially when she has a tendency to time travel when she’s sleeping. I have to admit though, Mama always said you were a looker when you were younger, and she was right. With regards to verbal tenses, no fucking clue.” _

_ He barks a laugh, “You sound like her. Does she like the ring I get her?” _

_ “Can’t answer, Papa,” she whispers. “However, she always said the ring proved how well you knew her. She let me try it on once when I was young when I was really, really good. I felt so grown up.” _

_ She quivers in remembered excitement. _

_ “Great, no pressure at all,” he mumbles. _

_ “Papa? Are you traveling too? This is the first time for you here and now, isn’t it?” Will asks. _

_ Pike nods, “How can you tell?”  _

_ “Your eyes, I don’t remember your eyes ever being this young. You always seemed to have the weight of the universe on your shoulders, you tried to hide it with your bright smile and dimples, but your eyes… your eyes were  always so sad, so old,” his daughter softly informs him, as she places her hand on his right cheek. “I came to find you at this juncture in time and I finally located you. My message for you, Papa: it will be alright. I swear it will be. Be bold, be brave, be courageous.” _

_ “I mentioned this to you?” Pike asks. _

_ “I  _ **_guessed_ ** _. We are, were, will be exceedingly close. Mama was jealous, but you told her it was because I was just a younger version of her so how could you not adore me?”  _

_ Will giggles and gestures, so much like Tilly, his heart skips a beat or three. _

_ He says nothing, instead he thinks of Tenavik, of his warning that he would not be strong enough to handle what was to come.  _

_ A ring catches his eye, and he points at it.  _

_ “That one,” he states.  “It’s an Andorian opal and the swirling colors look like a nebula. It’s unique… Do you think she’ll like it?” _

_ Silence. _

_ Will has disappeared. _

**Flash.**

_ “Sylvia, I took the position of Fleet Captain. I don’t really have a choice,” Chris explains to a stone-faced Sylvia. “I’ll be based in San Francisco. Maybe you’d want to consider taking that position at the Academy? I found this house, and I think it would be perfect for you and the kids.” _

_ He slides the PADD her way, across the table.  She looks at it, and pushes the PADD back at him. _

_ “You already  _ **_bought_ ** _ it, Chris.” Her voice is ice. _

_ “As part of the final separation agreement, you get the house. I can’t give you the Enterprise. Jimmy wouldn’t sign the paperwork, but I could get you a house. Look at it, it’s got everything you always wanted, including a backyard. It has six bedrooms so you can sell it quickly if you don’t want it. I bought it; paid for it in full, so you wouldn’t have to juggle a mortgage.” _

_ Chris leans back in his chair and focuses on Sylvia’s lawyer. “Justin, I think I have been exceedingly generous. I gave her my retirement… I gave her…” He pauses and collects himself because while he has been preparing for this day for so long, it’s come faster than he ever dreamed. He fears that he’ll collapse from the weight and turn cowardly, just to escape his fate.  “I gave her all of my disability pension; in case I get permanently disabled on the job. She gets the lump sum payout, while my medical expenses are paid with a different policy. There is a trust set up for her and… I’m giving her half my salary. I just need enough for an apartment large enough for me to have the kids come over when they want. You can’t fault me on this, Sylvia. I even made sure that you had sufficient money for your lawyer.” _

_ “I can and I will,” she whispers. “It’s my right.” _

_ “Sylvia, our marital agreement was for ten years. I only promised you ten years because I didn’t want you tied down to an old man while you are still young,” he reminds her.  _

_ “Justin, would you mind, I want a few minutes with Fleet Captain Pike,” her voice is full of pain, and Chris grieves.  In the last few months, he has tried to pull away from her, to ensure that she hates him, so it would be a clean, painful break but she has blamed herself for his withdrawal.  _

_ Not him. _

_ Herself.  _

_ Goddamn your mother to hell, Sylvia.  Any woman with an ounce of self-respect would have ditched him willingly.  No, instead she has tried to be  _ **_better_ ** _ ,  to be…  _ **_more…_ ** _ to keep him. Her soft pleas for him to share what was bothering him. _

_ “Behave,” Justin warns her. “She’s not signing anything unless I’m here, Pike.” _

_ Chris nods and he waits until Justin has left.  _

_ “So, just one question, and then I’ll sign,” Sylvia states. _

_ “Of course,” Pike agrees.   _

_ He assumes that it will be a question he can easily answer. Is there another woman? No.  Is there another man? Ah… no. Is it a mid-life crisis? No, it’s the result of end of life planning. _

_ Like hell would he force her to endure what comes next.  _

_ Sylvia swallows once, twice, three times.  _

_ “Did you ever love me? Or was this charade only because I fell pregnant and you felt it was the right thing …. The only thing… to do?”  _

_ He flinches and stands.  _

_ His destiny, his horrible, horrible destiny is getting closer and closer, and she is being  _ **_fucking difficult_ ** _.  He needs the separation papers filed and notarized today else she will be tied to him and that fucking chair, and he will destroy her crazy, amazing brilliance by turning her into a nursemaid.  _

_ He flips the PADD over and notarizes it with his thumbprint. _

_ “You’ll get your answer soon enough,” he manages to state. He leaves then as he’s close to tears. He will not cry in front of Sylvia, but she knows him too well.  _

_ “You’re **hiding** something, Chris,” she calls after him. “I’ll find out what it is, I swear to God.” _

**Flash.**

_ Today is the day.  The day when debts are about to be called due. His room on the USS Republic is neatly packed, as though his tour of duty has ended, and he is moving out. In a way, he is.  _

_ The only items left on his desk are the pictures of Sylvia and the kids, plus assorted PADDs. Each PADD has a message, and he has just finalized the one for Kat Cornwell.  _

_ “I need you to work with Will. She’ll need help with this. They all will, but she most of all. My apartment is cleaned out, I just left the mattress as I needed something to sleep on. Not that I slept the last few days, Kat. I want you, Phil and Una not to mourn what’s about to happen. I knew it was going to happen, and I accepted it many years ago as a price I had to pay. And… I need you… to help… Sylvia… please.” _

_ He could still take a shuttle, and leave.  Abandon everything and flee.  _

_ Run far, far away.  _

_ Yeah, he could do that. _

_ His body ignores his desperate thoughts. He is his father's son in blood and in truth. Instead, he places his wedding ring on his finger for the very last time.  _

_ He’ll die with it on and Sylvia will have her answer to her question.  _

_ Hopefully, she realizes that he loved her so much that he had set her free, so she could find someone who will be able to love her and the kids like they deserve. _

**Flash.**

_ He wears the rank and long coat of a Fleet Captain and he is in the engine room of a J-class starship, USS Republic. There are cadets everywhere, and he is filled with an overwhelming sense of dread.  The EVENT is about to happen. An ungodly panic threatens to overwhelm him and he screams, “Go, go, go, go!” even before the alarm regarding the radiation sounded. “Evacuate! Evacuate!” _

_ Instinctively, as though he has lived and re-lived this nightmare, he pulls one cadet after another from the engine as the fire starts and the radiation eats away at his body.  _

_ His body is on fire, the pain overwhelms everything except for the overwhelming need to rescue the cadets. Therefore. he stays and searches. Cadet T’kia is behind the engineering station, Cadet Shaughnessy is there… and then as the blast doors closes with him on the wrong side of the doors, he sees her. _

_ Will. _

_ On the right side of the door.  Safe. Secure.  _

_ She is wearing the outfit he has just purchased for her. It’s the sweatshirt hoodie that looks like a horse, because she is utterly wild about horses. Sylvia protested because it was far too expensive as a just because gift for a nine-year-old girl. But since he wouldn’t be around for her tenth birthday, he had splurged. _

_  No, no, no, no. This isn’t right. His daughter shouldn’t be seeing this.  She screams an unholy shriek, “ _ **_PAPA_ ** _!” _

_ He places his hand on the blast door, desperate to reach her and then… _

**Flash.**

_ He wakes.  _

_ He can’t see, why can’t he see? Why can’t he move? He … is suspended in a float tank… because he can feel the liquid below his neck… to his shoulders.  _

_ Why can’t he feel anything besides the fiery burn of his right cheek?  _

_ “Chris! It’s Phil. You saved all the cadets. All of them. Now go back to sleep, please.” _

_ He forces a moan from his throat, an anguished announcement of overwhelming pain and fear. _

_ “Chris, it’s Sylvia. I’m here, I’m here. I’m not leaving you. I never signed the decree, Chris because Willa broke down and told me everything that you two kept from me. Including this.” _

_ NO, he screams silently. No. No. No. NO. NO! NO! NO! _ **_I PUSHED YOU AWAY AS HARD AS I COULD._ **

**Flash.**

_ A corridor.  Still and empty, except for a mechanical hum that becomes louder and louder.  _

_ He turns and sees …. His future. _

_ He screams and screams, while his future self screams along, because… oh God, he is still alive.  _

_ And aware.  _

_ Trapped in a chair because they refuse to let him die. _

**Flash.**

He was back in the monastery, and he was fucking terrified. The cave in, Rigel, Talos IV, nothing… nothing in his life had prepared him for this future. 

Tenavik was there, delighted to lord over how the mighty Star Fleet Captain had nearly pissed his pants in terror. "You may still choose to walk away from this future. But if you take the crystal, your fate will be sealed, forever. There will be no escaping it."

Pike spoke to himself, girding his loins, if you will, “You're a Starfleet captain. You believe in service, sacrifice, compassion… and love. No. I'm not going to abandon the things that made me what I am because of a future… that contains an ending I hadn't foreseen for myself.”

Then in a louder voice, he announced, “No. Give it to me."

"I honor you, Captain."

To hell with **_honor_** , there was a universe to **save** , so Pike put his hand on the time crystal and **_pulled_**. It snaps easily in hand, much like his future had shattered. 

**Flash**

_ He is back home in Mojave.  He had just placed Will on a mighty steed, ok, a placid, pony whose only concern in life was that her retainers had brought her a suitable offering of apples and sugar cubes. The pony ambles off and Josh was able to easily keep pace. _

_ “Papa! I’m  _ **_riding_ ** _!” Will exclaims. Her happiness is palpable.  _

_ “How did I know that you three would be down at the stables?” Sylvia questions.  _

_ He turns to face her. She is heavily pregnant and he shakes his head in tired protest. _

_ “You should be resting, that’s Doctor Christopher Pike’s orders” he chides. After the reprimand is delivered and she has ignored it, he gives her a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “She’s a natural. Got a great seat.” _

_ “You’re not getting a pony for her,” Sylvia protests. “No ponies on the Enterprise.” _

_ He smiles at her, as he is so happy that he is afraid that he’ll explode. _

_ Wouldn’t that be a mess? _

_ He imagines the lurid headlines, “Local Boy Turned Highly Decorated Star Fleet Captain Explodes from Overwhelming Happiness.” _

_ He will take and cherish these moments for as long as they could last. Store them close to his heart so when he is chair bound, he can look back and remember what happiness had felt like.  _

_ And hopefully… that would be enough.  _

_ Else he’d go mad. _

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
